Title: Killing Loneliness
Pairings: ItaNaru SasuSai
Warnings: Let's see…we have yaoi and vampires and blood play oh my! Plus some probable OOCness…it just happens okay…oh and some swearing, yep definitely swearing. And cutting though it is very minimal.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto nor do I claim to own them. So please draw some more yaoi fanservice Kishimoto. That one SasuSai panel was not enough.
A/N:
Well Hello there! ^-^ It's certainly been a while hasn't it? I mean it's been nearly two years since I updated this last…and I may have forgotten the plot….but it's all okay because I found the chapter I had written before I totally abandoned the plot in my head! (smacked in the back of the head) okay okay I know I totally just like epic-failed on this but it seems to be in my nature. Besides I've been distracted with school, bleach fanfics on an alternate account, jrock band fanfics on livejournal, a graphics community on livejournal as well, and a couple of original fiction novels. Frankly it's a lot on my plate. I'm honestly only posting this now because a) I just found it and b)I finally found some empty time to type it up. So anyways I'm going to reread my own story and try to get the plot reformulated in my head. Believe me when I say I wish I hadn't chosen to be so vague on certain elements like the Ten(seriously I forgot what that was about but I know it was important to the plot x.x) so anyways if you guys are still reading this thing and wish for it to reach it's conclusion throw me some ideas! Also do not expect fast updates! My life is still really really hectic! (I'm hardly able to do anything right now x.x)
A Jerk or a Protector?
I don't want be who I was back then
I almost lost you again
I don't wanna see through the eyes of a liar
Hold the door for me again
Armor for Sleep – "Hold the Door"
I felt my body move before my mind could catch up to it. The physical need to touch Naruto, to make sure he was actually there was greater than the need to let my mind reboot from the shock of seeing him in the same room as me. I was stopped in this unconscious movement by seeing Sasuke's kataho move into a defensive position in front of Naruto.
"Sai, what are you doing?" Naruto's voice was soft, barely above a whisper as if just talking made him weary. His face showed his confusion at Sai's actions. I myself was confused.
"He's a young vampire, Naruto, only fifteen years old." Sai's eyes were glaring, his usual fake smile missing from his mouth. "His control over his bloodlust is so weak he wouldn't hesitate to drain even a marked human."
I was about to retort, say that I would never, could never attack my own son when Naruto spoke again.
"He's my father Sai. He could never hurt me especially if he doesn't want to hurt me." He stepped around Sai and closed the gap between us. "Right tou-san?"
I couldn't help myself. I pulled him into the tightest embrace I could without hurting him.
"Yes Naruto, I could never hurt you, especially now that I can be near you without drawing Madara's attention." I could hear my voice vrack every few syllables but I ignored it, just like the blood-red tears that rolled down my face.
"Minato, let go of him." I hadn't sensed that Itachi had entered the room. I had been too focused on finally holding my son for the first time since he was four. I reluctantly let go of Naruto and turned toward Itachi. My head bowed submissively.
"Didn't Madara teach you to not approach a marked person without the marking vampire's permission?" I didn't want to answer. He knew I knew that. There was no other way he would have agreed to training me. I hung my head lower.
"Yes he did, but –" I was interrupted by Naruto.
"What's wrong with him approaching me?" His voice was clear and loud, in sharp contrast to his voice just minutes ago. "He's my – "
"Father. Yes, I know. But I do not trust this man." His voice was cutting and glacial. An air of definitiveness clung to his words, truly making them commands of a vampire lord. "I will not let him touch that which is mine."
"So I'm property now, am I…?" The murmur was soft but it was said with such sadness that I wished to comfort him and with such anger that I wanted to back away from the coming violent out lash. "I am NOT your damn property nor will I even let you consider me as such! I'm used to being treated like crap, like a demon and a monster. Then you decide to save me on some stupid whim of yours and suddenly I'm below a demon, I'm fucking property! I'd rather be the monster they call me. At least I have my own goddamn will!"
I then saw something I had never imagined I would see. I saw my son punch Itachi square in the face, an amazing feat in itself due to their height differences, and storm out of the room while towing me along in my stunned stupor. I certainly had a shocking son.
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I was an idiot. And it had taken someone punching me in the face to realize it.
I stood there clutching my face where he had hit me probably showing a look of shock on my face. I couldn't help it. I had never expected him to hit me. I felt Sai's eyes on me but I ignored him. I was too lost in my thoughts.
Why did I have to be so insensitive? He has no real knowledge of the situation or vampiric customs and I should have realized that. He didn't know that he was supposed to be my kataho or that a marked human brought out possessive natures in vampires. I had only been trying to protect him from a relatively new and inexperienced vampire trying to drain him, father or not. I cursed words and the power they held. They were deceptive things helping you soothe one minute and anger the next.
I felt horrible and disgusted with myself. I wanted to crawl out of my skin and hide somewhere where no one would find me. With my mind in its self-loathing haze I all but fled through the mansion to my room where I locked myself in with no intention of coming out until I was no longer insensitive to the one I wished to love.
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"Your brother's an insensitive jerk."
I curiously lifted my head out of the ball I was in. I hated the after effects of Madara's presence.
"You realize you are stating the main Uchiha personality trait, right Sai?"
"Yes I do Sasu, but he was being that way to Naruto," I saw the ghost of emotions struggle to appear on his face. Over three hundred years and he still can't express himself well. "I think it wasn't on purpose but it was apparently enough to make Naruto extremely…angry at him. I do believe the emotion you have when you punch someone in the face is anger, right?"
I shot up out of the corner I had crawled into. "You're telling me the blonde punched aniki in the face?"
Sai nodded and proceeded to tell me what had occurred downstairs. I was shocked both by how Itachi's possessive words had been misconstrued by the blonde and by the fact that Itachi had been punched, in the face no less. I decided that I would have to be the one to talk to both of them. Luckily the shuddering had stopped as well as the instinctual reflex to curl up into a defensive ball.
"Sai, make sure Itachi stays where he is and doesn't do anything rash," I started to head out of my room. I paused for a second. "Actually just make sure he doesn't do anything until I get to him."
"Hai, Sasu-koi."
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That bastard. That fucking bastard! I was not his damn property! So what if he saved my life? It's not like I had a life worth saving. He probably just wanted to make sure he didn't lose his meal ticket. Oh I should have done more than sock him in his face.
"I will not let him touch that which is mine."
Ugh! The more I thought of his words the angrier I felt.
'Kit, he did not mean what you think he meant.'
'Kyu…? You've been quiet a lot…'
'I was kinda busy healing your wounds,' there was an annoyed tone to his voice. 'But the vampire does not think of you as property.'
'So what did the bastard mean?'
'He was being protective and also very possessive. But then could you blame him? You are his kataho after all.'
"I'm his what?"
"Naruto?" My father stopped us from moving further down the maze of hallways. He looked at me curiously and I realized I had shouted my last sentence out loud. "Are you okay?"
"Sorry tou-san," I felt the need to apologize for some reason. "I was talking to Kyuubi and something he said startled me."
"It's okay." He gave that warm, comforting smile of his. "You calmed down now?"
I suddenly realized that my anger had dissipated but there was still a pang of hurt in my heart. The pang was there from how cold his words had been when before they had been so gentle, so soothing. "Yeah, I'm calm. I don't feel like punching him anymore."
"That's good news for my brother's face then." My head spun from how fast I had turned it to find Sasuke walking toward us. I wondered why he was talking to me. I had only seen him once and we had never been properly introduced, having found out each other's names from Sai. "I apologize if he offended you, but that truly was not what he intended."
"I know. I guess I'm his katahou, so he was just being instinctually possessive."
"Did Sai tell you that?" Sasuke's eyes flickered with curiosity.
"No." I shook my head. Sasuke's eyes moved to my father and I saw him shake his head as well indicating that he had not told me as well. I saw Sasuke's brow furrow in confusion.
"Then how did you know?"
"I…I…It-it was…" I wanted to disappear, to run. I didn't want to tell him about Kyuubi. I didn't want to be rejected by these vampires. For if even real monsters considered me a greater evil than themselves than I was truly not a human being but something demonic that deserved to be sent to hell with all traces of its existence destroyed.
"Was it the Kyuubi?"
My eyes widened at his words and I knew I had begun to quake in fear. My instinctual urge to run was screaming at me. Memories of fifteen years ago started flashing in my mind resisting my mental will that was trying to banish them away from my conscious thoughts. I started backing away slowly from Sasuke.
"I…I-I'm n-not…I'm not a demon…I'm just...I'M NOT KYUUBI!" I turned, about to run, to escape. But I was stopped by a figure that had appeared in front of me. I felt strong arms holding me in place but with a gentility I had not expected.
"You are not Kyuubi. You are simply you and that is all that matters."
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I really needed to make sure that before I intended to lock myself in my room alone again that no one was in the room with me.
"Hey Itachi, where'd you find my book?"
There, on my bed, was my cousin Shisui. He wasn't the last person I wanted to see right now – Madara would always beat him there – but he was pretty damn close. He had always been able to read my moods and always knew what was wrong with me.
"Wow, you look like shit…" He had finally really looked at me and now that he knew that something was wrong with me I felt his eyes closely examining me. "Did you piss off your intended katahou?"
I could feel my eyes go wide with his statement. How did he know? If he knew then who else did?
"Woah, I was right?" His look was one of shock. Then it turned into one of concern. "Oh crap, please tell me he didn't reject you because I am not killing your ass even if it is the merciful thing to do."
I shook my head. "No, I haven't even told him what he is to me. He knows nothing of vampiric customs either."
"I'm guessing his lack of knowledge about our customs is what caused him to be pissed at you, and making you hate yourself."
"Yes," I hung my head. "I said that I did not want a particular vampire to touch what is mine and he took it as me thinking of him as property."
"Well," Shisui sighed. "You always have been socially inept. You should really explain this to him you know. It's probably for the best anyway if you explain the situation to him."
"You're right. I should –" I stopped midsentence. I could feel a huge wave of fear coming from nearby. It was Naruto. My body instinctually reacted to his fear and I was rushing down hallways even as I heard him yell.
" – I'M NOT KYUUBI!"
And then he was in my arms, my arms that were holding him safe, protecting him. And words were suddenly escaping my lips and I knew in my heart that they were the truest words I had ever said.
"You are not Kyuubi. You are simply you and that is all that matters."
Those crystal-blue eyes looked up at me and I steeled myself for the pain of seeing dead, dull eyes in the one I wished to have at my side. But the dullness was gone and I was blinded by all the raw emotion that was contained in those brilliant sapphire eyes. There was relief and hope and above all a will to live, to go through life not as a zombie but with spontaneity and happiness. The unexpected warmth from those eyes filled me to the brim until it overflowed into a warm, gentle smile that I could not hide and I found myself glad I had not hidden it for it was returned with an equally warm smile from the blonde in my arms.
"Oh. My. God. It's fucking Armageddon. Itachi is actually smiling. He's actually fucking smiling!" I really wanted to kill my cousin at that second for ruining the damn moment, even if he was one of the Ten. That was until I felt a small chuckle against my chest. He was laughing and the sound of it was beautiful to my ears.
"Is it really that strange for him to smile?" Naruto asked curiously with a joking undertone.
"Let's just say it's not been seen for centuries," Sai had appeared behind Sasuke and now everyone was here. The once cavernous hallway now seemed narrow and small. "We've seen smirks but not unforced smiles like that."
"It's not like we see many real smilesThen maybe you should give me more reason to be smiling like that more often," Sai retorted back with innuendo and seduction dripping from his words.
"Maybe I want those smiles all to myself," Sasuke picked a possessive grip on Sai's barely clothed hips and started to bring their faces close together to begin an intense makeout session that would eventually result in them writhing and moaning all over the other, while naked on the nearest flat surface they could find.
Shisui interrupted them, clearing his throat to get their attention. "As much as I would like to watch the two of you fucking like rabbits in the hallway I believe the others would find it in appropriate right now, so if you two wish to continue than I suggest you two get a room."
The pair was there on second and in a blink of an eye they were gone from our sight and the loud slam of a door closing in a nearby hallway reverberated throughout the mansion. It took us all a minute for our brains to process what had just happened. It was Shisui who spoke first.
"I sooo did not expect them to actually get a room."All of our heads turned to look at him. "Those two are like constantly horny."
I actually thought about that last comment of his and found it to be disturbingly true. I didn't know if it was due to them both having their bodies' ages stopped while sexual hormones were coursing through their veins or not but they were the horniest couple I had ever known. This train of thought was turning disturbing so I turned my attention back to the present.
"Well why don't I show you your room?" I directed my polite question towards Minato. "And then I can show both you and Naruto around the house?"
It took a few moments for everyone to let the words sink in But the pleased look that found its place on Naruto's face was worth the delay.
"Yes, I would like that," came Minato's reply complete with a small smile that told me that he had forgiven my actions earlier.
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It turned out that the room Sasuke and Sai had chosen to use was supposed to be my father's so Itachi decided to give him a different one. He later gave me my own room that was near both his and my father's though I think I wouldn't have minded staying in Itachi's room. He gave us a tour of the mansion and I wondered how anyone managed to not get lost.
It wasn't until later that I noticed that the strange man that had told Sasuke and Sai to get a room had disappeared. When I did I told Itachi and asked who he was.
"That was my cousin Shisui," he told me with a grimace. "He tends to show up unexpectedly and leaves the same way."
I pondered the name, thinking I had heard it before. But the memory never let itself be found, so I set it aside for me to consider later. My hand was placed in Itachi's and my father was finally with me again. For the first time in a long time I felt…happy.
But for some reason I knew it wouldn't last. Until then however, I would enjoy this happiness as long as I could. I had learned long ago to focus on nothing but the present.
K.I.L.L.I.N.G.L.O.N.E.L.I.N.E.S.S.A.J.E.R.K.O.R.A.P.R.O.T.E.C.T.O.R.-E.N.D-
A/N: So I've only got a page of written material for the next chapter. I'll try to rediscover the plot but no promises. This well be updated at random and long intervals so please don't expect much. I'm trying my hardest not to just abandon the story. Any requests for back stories or further character/relationship development may actually be filled. Remember leave a good review and you will definitely get a reply! ^^