The Importance Of Trust

Chapter 12

"Yang. Clamp the bleeder now!" Teddy demanded.

The patient had actually coded in his room, sending a trauma team to run in from the nurses' station, making any possible fallout or questions around Colin Marlow's sudden appearance impossible.

Now in the O.R., Their patient was going under…and quickly.

Cristina put her strength behind the clamp to the massive bleeder that Teddy, Cristina, and a lousy intern was trying to control.

Cristina's clamp seemed to have helped; the patient's vitals were rising.

"Good. Thank you. Now," Teddy looked Cristina in the eye. "Hold it there, while I try and repair the wall."

Cristina rolled her eyes at Teddy and then upward. In the galley, she found the worst possible people that she could imagine watching her patient die.

Owen, Alex, Meredith, and of course her ex-boyfriend, Colin Marlow. Perfect, She thought.

She knew what Teddy was doing.

Teddy said she doesn't care about big name surgeons. And then, what does she do the second Colin arrives? She gives me the pleasure of holding a clamp.

Teddy acted the complete opposite when Dr. Evans was here.

Of course it wasn't implied that I had any kind of past relationship with Dr. Evans either.

Cristina looked up at the gallery again. Colin was sitting in the front row on the left, by himself, and Meredith was sitting with Alex in the middle of the middle row. Owen was furthest away; top row on the right, his eyes never settling between the dying patient, Cristina, and Colin Marlow.

The monitor went off again. Cristina was forced to focus on what she was doing.

When Meredith saw Cristina focus back on her work, she left Alex, jumped over a row of chairs, and walked to sit next to Colin.

What Meredith didn't realize was that Owen's eyes were watching her the whole time.

"Meredith Grey," Owen heard Colin loudly greet Meredith.

"Hello." Meredith said. "It's nice to see you again."

Colin's eyes switched between Meredith and Cristina. "Yes, you too. We never got a chance to actually talk last time I was here to visit."

"Derek said he called you."

"Yes, he did." Colin paused for a moment. "But after I heard about the shooting, I was bound to make it up here sooner rather then later to make sure she was okay."

"Oh," was all Meredith could say.

"So, is she?"

"What?" Meredith asked, clearly lost in thought.

"Is she Okay?"

"Oh," Meredith sat up straighter. "Yeah, she's okay." She saw Colin raise his eyebrows at her in disbelief. "Well, I think the shooting messed with everybody's head. But in general, she's been happy lately and your package will definitely help cheer her up."

"Good. I'm glad to help."

"You're different," Meredith stated. "More mature or something."

Colin gave a little laugh. "Oh, well, that had to happened at some point."

"So, when are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow morning."

Meredith was surprised. "So soon?"

"I only came to deliverer her package. The flight from San Francisco is only an hour and a half. I'm not here to mess up her life again."

"Dr. Marlow, I'm glad to hear that you're not here to create drama, and it's probably better that you don't stay too long. But you have to know, whatever happened between Cristina and Burke was in no way your fault. You knew they were wrong for each other and you voiced your opinion. I should have done that."

"She really deserves someone that's going to make her happy." Colin stated.

Meredith looked back at Owen, who was staring at them; now aware he was listening to every word.

Meredith hesitated before saying, "I think she's finally has that person."

Colin's eyes brighten and a slight smile appeared on her face. "Oh, good. I'm glad." They looked at each other.

Meredith opened her mouth to say something, but before she could Colin put his hand up to stop her. "Don't tell me who it is, okay? I'm trying to be mature and supportive, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't try to rip the guy to pieces trying finding every reason I could to prove that he isn't good enough for her…And since the Cardio Attending is a woman, I have no way of guessing."

Meredith smiled widely. "Okay."

"She's happy?" Colin needed reassurance.

Meredith hesitated again. "She's Cristina…but now happy is more of a normalcy in her life than it used to be."

"Ah…Well, that's all we can ask for, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is."

Colin and Meredith gave each other one last smile before all hell broke loose in the O.R.

Monitors barked in warning and lines went red. Teddy looked between the dying patient and the stats monitor in confusion.

"Step away from the patient," Colin demanded. He was now standing up next to the phone, looking between the room below and the T.V. monitor that was zoomed in on the patient's chest. "Everybody right now."

Cristina put down her clamp and moved a few feet from the O.R. table. Teddy hesitated in protest, but finally did the same.

"But - " Teddy argued once she stood a few feet back on the opposite side of the table than Cristina.

Exactly three seconds went by before Colin demanded. "Cristina, approach the table and try and feel where the hole is." Teddy moved one foot forward. "Nobody moves!" Colin yelled in response. "Nobody breathes!"

Everyone in the O.R. Gallery stood up and walked down so they were standing against the glass.

"I can't find the hole!" Cristina panicked.

"Close your eyes," Colin said into the phone.

"What?" Cristina almost yelled in shock.

"Damnit, Cristina. Close your eyes right now!"

"Why don't you come down here and do it?" Cristina offered, still trying to find the hole and stop the bleeding.

"We don't have time for this. You are Cristina Yang. You are a Harper Avery Award winner. I am right here. I am going to walk you through this. Now, SHUT YOUR DAMN EYES."

That did it. Her eyelids slide down and locked shut. Both of her hands cradled the heart.

"Good!" Colin relaxed a little, though rings and beepers were still going off. "Now, remember what I taught you. The heart is like your favorite fruit, Cristina – a pear. Bruises leave brown markings, not indents."

Clearly speaking in some sort of secret code, the others in the room had no idea what was going on. Worried looks passed from one to the other to another.

Cristina finished Colin's though process. "So, I have to feel for the bruises – the soft spots in the wall and not for the indents – the holes - which shouldn't exist in the case anyway."

"Exactly," replied Colin.

Everyone watched in silence as Cristina worked. Within a minute, Cristina felt the spot where the blood was overflowing. "I found it!" She put her fingers over the weak spot in the heart and the monitors finally stopped making obnoxious noises. Everyone's shoulders loosen at the reduced noise.

"Good!" Colin smiled. "Now – Burke taught you the running whip stitch. Am I right?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Go underneath the weak spot in the heart and use the stitch to repair and reinforce the weakness."

"But that requires turning the heart."

"You can do this Cristina. You operated at gunpoint, you won the Harper-Avery Award as an intern, and you are to date the only person I know who graduated Stanford Med School with all A's who has dyslexia. You. Can. Do. This."

Now that the monitors had calmed down, there was only one steady on-off beep as Cristina continued to work. Teddy was the only one watching the surgery in disbelief and panic as the others formed a gut feeling that it was all going to be okay as soon as Colin and Cristina were in charge.

And sure enough, it was. Cristina finished her work flawlessly and Teddy came back to the table to help her close. Not wanting to stay and face the humiliation any longer, Teddy offered to wheel the patient back to his room.

Cristina took her mask off as the patient left her sight. She took a deep breath and turned around to head off to the scrub room. Her feet didn't move more than two steps before realizing that she couldn't scrub out just yet.

"Well, that was fun." Colin said, now leaning against the closed scrub room door.

Cristina gave a small laugh and started taking her gloves off. "Yes, yes it was."

"Felt just like old times."

Cristina nodded. "A little bit."

Colin stopped leaning against the door and started walking towards her. "I'm glad we had another chance in the O.R. together."

Cristina took her last glove off and then pulled her operating gown to the floor. "I didn't think I would say this, but so I am."

They smiled at each other. Cristina looked up at the galley for a quick moment to find Meredith and Owen still there, then her eyes went back to meet Colin's.

He took a deep breath. "Well, I am going to go."

"What? You just got here!"

"I did what I came here to do," he said quietly.

Cristina was silent for a moment; A frown appearing on her face. "Why do we always have to say goodbye in an O.R.?"

Colin laughed a little before placing his hands on her shoulders and letting them rise to her scrub cap. "Because it's the most appropriate place for us to say goodbye."

Cristina smiled sadly and before she knew what was happening, both his hands were behind her head, untying her scrub cap.

"I love your hair," he whispered as her curls fell down her back.

"Colin…don-" She started, but before she could say anymore, he buried both his hands into her curls and brought her into another hug.

Just for a moment, Cristina closed her eyes and put her arms around him as well.

Up the O.R. gallery, Owen's blank expression returned to his face and it was quickly turning into jealously as he watched them down below. Before he could form a solid opinion about want was happening, Mark Sloan burst into the room.

Mark motioned to the patient-less O.R. "Oh, damn. I missed it. I wanted to see the two lovers in action."

Owen eyes widen to the size of golf-balls and he looked from Mark to Cristina and Colin, who were still embracing.

"The-Two-Whats?" Owen said in disbelief.

Below him, Colin finally released Cristina, but one of their arms still held on to the on another. "Goodbye, beautiful," Colin said as he leaned in to place a soft – but lasting - kiss her check one last time. "Congratulations, I'm proud of you."

He walked toward the door, and with his hand on the handle; about to open it, he looked back at her.

Cristina raised her hand in a goodbye gesture and Colin did the same.

And just as quickly as Colin had entered Cristina's crazy life again, he had left it.

Cristina couldn't look up into the galley as grabbed her operating gown and scrub cap and walked into the scrub room

Owen was standing there alone, waiting for her.

She looked at him for half a second, not making eye contact, before moving to the trash deposit and pushing her bloody gown down into to it.

"So," Owen started. "Congratulations."

"Thank you." Cristina said quietly, still starring at the trash lid.

"You nailed that surgery." Owen mumbled, through the thoughts pounding in his head.

Cristina turned and looked at him, she took a deep breath. "You must have questions, so ask." Cristina repeated his line about his ex-fiancé.

"You're dyslexic?" He looked at her with empathy, "That must be really hard. Why didn't you tell me?"

Cristina blinked. "It never came up." She paused. "That's not what I meant."

"I know what you meant."

"And?"

Owen crossed his arms. "What do you want me to say?"

Cristina blinked again, grabbed her scrub cap from the counter, and said: "Hey, I'm all for not talking about this. So, if you'll excuse me." She walked passed him to the door.

Owen struggled before stopping her. "You slept together," he tried to offer calmly.

Cristina stared at the door for a moment more before turning to facing him. She nodded and added, "He was my professor at Stanford. We were close."

"How close?" He asked. Cristina raised her eyebrows. Owen mentally kicked himself for his word choice. "No, no…I mean…when…" Still stumbling, "I mean…how…how long…"

Eyes still raised in suspicion, Cristina debated what to tell him. "What do you want to hear?"

"The truth," he finally managed to say.

"Okay…" She tried to gather her thoughts together. Burke and Owen were completely different, but going off what annoyed Burke, she thought she'd kill all the birds with one stone, once. Plus, she didn't want him hearing rumors across the hospital. "We were together for three years." Cristina saw Owen's shock and disbelief on his face. "He asked me to marry him several times…it ended after to graduation and before I came to Seattle."

"He proposed to you?" Owen blurted out.

Cristina's answer was in her facial expression.

Owen stood there still in shock. Another question popped into his head. "Did you love him?"

Cristina was taken aback. She wasn't expecting this question. "I don't know…I loved him, I don't think I was in love with him…we were just together a long time…so…"

"Okay," was all Owen said.

Cristina finally met his eyes. "That's it?" she asked in disbelief. "Okay?"

"It's been a long day."

Cristina's shoulders fell and the stress she was holding from the whole day left her body.

"Let's go home," Owen said and put his arm around her shoulders.

Cristina took his hand and kissed it. "Thank you." She said as she pushed open the door and walked home together.

The walk was mostly silent, both individually recovering from the day. It was a short distance to her apartment, but Owen managed to kiss her forehead several times before they made it home.

Cristina had to break away from him to reach her key in her jacket pocket. It was quiet and dark inside when the two of them walked through the door, Cristina was grateful that Callie was not home yet.

"Can I?" Owen asked, motioning to her bag.

Cristina's small, but perfect smile answered his question.

Owen pulled out her Harper-Avery. "Congratulations. You must be thrilled." Owen saw Cristina's smile grow wider. "Why aren't you freaking out? You should be freaking out."

"Yeah, I know. I guess I'm tired."

Owen nodded in agreement. "Where should we put it?" He asked, holding her award up to examine it.

Cristina's eyes sparkled as she yanked the plaque from Owen and sat down on her couch. "I don't know…"

Owen cuddled up beside her and gave her a quick, but sweet, kiss.

"It's so shinny," she said still in awe.

Owen laughed. "You are so cute."

Cristina wrinkled her nose like a bunny in response to him.

Owen shifted so he was on top of Cristina, he whispered, "Really." Owen's lips quickly met hers. "Really," he kissed her again. "Really," they pair shared deeper kiss and Cristina barely was able to put her plaque on the coffee table before their arms locked around each other. "Cute."

They explored each other's lips and bodies and soon Owen's tongue met Cristina's. They kept kissing before Cristina broke away from him to catch her breath. Owen responded by kiss his favorite part of her body.

"Owen…" Cristina started. Owen ignored her and moved from her neck back to her lips. Cristina kissed him once, twice, and then a third time before pushing him away from her.

Owen huddled over Cristina, stroking her hair, and looking at her with concern. "What's wrong?"

"It's just…" Cristina started. Owen searched her eyes, still concerned. Cristina sat up, still struggling, "It's been a long day."

Owen sat up beside her and brushed her hair out of his face. "I learned many things that I didn't know about you today."

"I surprised you didn't freak out."

Owen laughed a little. "I did freak out." Cristina raised her eyebrows in question. "From the moment Mark opened his mouth to when you stepped in the scrub room."

Cristina didn't respond. She put her hand on his check and smiled sadly.

Suddenly, Owen was worried. "What?"

"You're not going to give me a lecture about how I shouldn't have slept with a man twice my age?"

Owen frowned at her. "Is that what Burke did?"

Cristina ignored his question. "After everything that happen today…especially with Colin…I keep waiting for you to express disapproval or anger."

Owen's thumb move back and forth across her check, debating what he should say.

Cristina saw his hesitation. "What? Tell me."

"It's just…" Owen kept hesitating and Cristina pushed him to go on. "You issues with older men. Your have been deprived of a father figure since you were a little girl…" He shrugged, "I get it."

Cristina starred at him in a mixture of disbelief, embarrassment, and sadness.

Then, in the most heartbreaking and breathtaking voice, Cristina asked. "Why are you so good to me?"

Owen whispered. "I'm not," he paused, and not wanting to bring up specific events, he just added, "I have a lot of things to make up for."

Cristina closed her eyes and put her forehead to his. "Owen…" She begged. "I don't want you to feel like-"

He put a finger over her lips. He closed his eyes as well and took a deep breath. "I am so in love with you."

With their forehead still softly touching and their eyes still closed, Cristina whispered, "I love you."

Owen moved his hands to the sides of her face, softly holding her to him before kissing her deeply.

They explored each other's lips and bodies, making out on the couch for several minutes. It was only when Owen reached the bottom of Cristina's scrub top to take it off did he stop.

"What?" Cristina asked, surprised.

Owen cupped her face. "Do you trust me now?"

Cristina did a double take and still couldn't believe her ears. "After today?" Owen guessed her answer and looked disappointed. Cristina saw his expression and playfully hit his good shoulder. "Of course I trust you! After today, how can I not?"

Owen smiled, relived. "Good," he said as he slid her shirt off and pulled her closer to him.

They shared another deep kiss before Cristina broke away again.

"Now what?" Owen said, now clearly annoyed.

"We need to move this into the bedroom."

Owen kissed her neck and said mischievously, "No we don't."

Cristina sat up and pulled Owen up with her by his shirt. "Yes, we do. This couch is small and uncomfortable." Owen frowned at her. "Plus, Callie could come home."

Obviously lost in thought, all Owen could manage was a "Huh."

Cristina rose from the couch and again pulled Owen's shirt for him to follow her.

He wouldn't move.

"Now what?" Cristina almost yelled in annoyance and frustration.

"Cristina." He looked at her seriously. "We need to get our own place."

Cristina held a blank expression on her face before breaking out into a smile. "Yes, yes, we do. Can we go have sex now?"

Owen allowed her to drag up and he followed her. "This weekend." He demanded.

"Okay," Cristina said and kissed him and took his shirt off.

Owen and Cristina undressed each other, taking one piece of clothing off at a time.

Sometime later that evening, they would pause from their love making to eat a dinner in bed naked together by candlelight.

But at that moment, all Cristina and Owen could do was celebrate their newfound trust and deeper understanding of each other.