Disclaimer: Just like everybody else posting on ff. net, I do not own the copyrights of either Harry Potter or Ironman. What I do own is an imagination and a laptop.
Summary: Harry was born a hermaphrodite but kept it a secret. He used his alternative identity as a woman to escape the nosy British wizards and settles in the States. There he met a handsome young genius who even though a complete womanizer and a snob captures Harry's attention. And vice versa.
Universe&Timeline: The beginning follows HP books, set after DH; Follows IM movies, set a few years before the IM1 plot.
Main pairing: Harry(Helena)/Tony
A/N: Slight warning, this chapter may be a bit boring to some as it's pretty much a retelling of the movie's beginning. Notice how at the ending my writing style changes a bit? Yeah, I wrote that at 4am. XD
A/N2: Srsly, no one wants me to repost 'The Seer'? Well, anyway, unless my computer crashes the chapters remain safe.
PS: WOOT! I so totally stuck to the time limit! Let's see if I can keep to it.
Posted: 27.04.10
Harry was sitting at a table in a hotel and casino called Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas. He watched quietly as there was a video of Tony shown. As if he needed his ego to be bloated any more than it already is. But it seemed there was no need to worry about that since he was nowhere to be seen. When the short video of preaching praises ended, Rhodey took the mike on the stage.
"As liaison to Stark Industries, I've had the unique privilege of serving with a real patriot. He is my friend and he is my great mentor. Ladies and gentlemen, it is my honor to present this year's Apogee Award to Mr. Tony Stark."
People burst out into applause, including Harry, even if all that came out of Rhodey's mouth was a load of cheese. But the guest of honor was nowhere to be found still.
"Tony?"
Harry giggled at Rhodey. While the smile on his face never left, his posture and eyes screamed 'I can't believe that asshole'. Obadiah, who was sitting next to Harry, stood up and went to the stage. Rhodey smiled and shook hands with him. He handed Obadiah the award and took a step back as Obadiah took the mike. Obadiah looked at the prized award and said stuff like 'thank you' and 'this is wonderful' in a good natured way.
Obadiah had his hand reached out as he looked at the award and then out of nowhere he said in a humorous fashion.
"Well, I'm not Tony Stark."
Harry laughed with the rest of the crowd.
"But if I were Tony, I would tell you how honored I feel, and what a joy it is to receive this very prestigious award. Tony, you know… the best thing about Tony is also the worst thing. He's always working."
Harry applauded with the rest of the crowd as Obadiah thanked the crowd again and left the stage. Harry smiled and shook his head. Obadiah and Tony reminded him a little of the way Ron and himself used to be. It was quite clear that Obadiah was a little jealous of Tony. Harry was pretty sure Obadiah had a little fantasy of accepting the Apogee award himself instead of just in Tony's behalf. Harry smiled as Obadiah and Rhodey came to the table.
"I guess we're going to hunt Tony now… again." Harry said with a smile.
"How can you be so calm about that idiot?" Rhodey grumbled.
"Well, I'd be pissed as hell if it were me he promised to accept the award from. I'd want to kill him if he promised something like that, but didn't show up and left me on the stage standing like an idiot. But it wasn't me. And so, I personally find this hysterical." Harry said between giggles.
"Yeah, rub that in." Rhodey grumbled.
"Let's go find Tony."
"Good luck." Obadiah called at them as they departed.
It didn't take them long to find him. They first checked his suite, as it was possible that he lost track of time having sex with several girls at once. But the room was empty, so the next stop was the casino. It wasn't hard to find him there. All you had to do was find the table with the prettiest girls around it.
Shake, shake, shake, roll.
Tony rolled, and apparently he rolled his dice well, if the applause was anything to go by. One pretty brunette next to him proved what a skank she was by pressing herself all over him.
"We should just stay till the morning." Harry heard Tony whisper to her.
Rhodey didn't seem to think so.
"You are unbelievable."
"No, he just needs a babysitter."
Harry piped in, still amused. He was even more amused listening to Tony and Rhodey's banter about the award. Harry got the feeling the only reason Tony agreed to accept the stupid award anyway was because Rhodey asked him to, because when Rhodey actually gave him the crystal monument Tony pretty nonchalantly gave it to the girl who flirted with him earlier. He had so many awards already, that no matter how prestigious, it had all become pretty trash to Tony.
Turning to much more interesting things, Tony gathered his chips and got ready to roll again. He offered his hand to the gold-digger next to him and she blew on his dice. Then he offered it to Harry and Harry blew on them as well. Then, much to Harry' amusement, he asked Rhodey to blow for good luck as well. Rhodey refused, feeling his masculinity deeply insulted, but Tony still insisted and called him a honey bear while at it too. Rhodey pushed Tony's hand away and the dice rolled out of Tony's hands and onto the table.
"There it is. Lieutenant Colonel Rhodes rolls! And…"
"Two craps. Line away."
Harry sensed this time Rhodey got the silent laugh.
"That's what happens." He said with a shrug.
"Worse things have happened. I think we're gonna be fine. Color me up, will ya." Tony replied.
Tony ended up winning 3 million. And Rhodey couldn't help but be amazed that Tony really didn't seem to care.
So they left the casino to go home after Rhodey convinced Tony that he really didn't need to hit the slots.
"You want a ride, Hel?" Tony asked Harry, but he didn't get a chance to answer as a blonde reporter interrupted, asking adamantly if she could get a few quotes.
"She's cute." Happy, Tony's driver, whispered to Tony.
"She's alright?" Tony asked and turned around his shoulder to take a look himself.
"I think I can get home myself. See you later, Tony. I'll come to see you off tomorrow." Harry said to Tony and pecked him on the cheek as goodbye.
"Okay, thanks. Goodnight." Tony said back and turned to the attractive blonde reporter.
Harry woke up the next morning, got through his morning routines, sat in his car and took off to Tony's house. He walked into the house and stopped to see the same blonde reporter chick from the night before. Well, it came as no surprise that Tony was able to sugartalk the woman to his bed. She hadn't noticed Harry yet, as she wondered the house, admiring the décor. She touched a locking system on the wall and Jarvis told her she wasn't 'authorized to access that area' completely freaking her out while at it. Funny thing, that ever since Harry met Tony, he was constantly entertained.
"That's Jarvis, he runs the house." Pepper said and the reporter, whose name Harry couldn't recall, turned to her with a deer-in-the-headlights look on her face.
"I've got your clothes here. They've been dry-cleaned and pressed, and there's a car waiting for you outside that will take you anywhere you'd like to go." Se said and held up the clothes.
"You must be the famous Pepper Potts." The blonde said and closed in in a slightly predatory way.
"Indeed I am." Pepper said with a professional smile.
"After all these years, Tony still has you picking up the dry-cleaning." She said in a slightly mocking way, as if to say that she's useless and couldn't get promoted. Harry had to roll his eyes. Pepper may do a lot of things that may seem like something only and intern would do, but she was still the highest paid employee at Stark Industries. For a good reason too!
"I do anything and everything Mr. Stark requires, including, occasionally, taking out the trash. Will that be all?" Pepper replied with the same professional smile.
Harry felt like he cracked a few ribs trying to hold back laughter. That was the moment Pepper noticed him.
"Hey, Helena, what are you doing here?"
"Oh, me? I'm here to see Tony off. Oh, and I have this for you too." Harry held up a parcel for Pepper to take.
"You know his plane was scheduled to leave an hour and a half ago, right?"
"Yes." Harry replied without missing a beat.
"You must be Lady Helena Potter, am I right?"
"How do you do? I'm sorry, but I didn't catch your name."
"Christine Everhart, Vanity Fair magazine." She said and extended her hand.
"I take it you got the quotes from Tony you were hoping for?" Harry asked politely.
"And more." Pepper muttered not-so-politely.
"Well, the character analysis won't be very useful, since apparently it's been done before me… a lot."
"Yes I suppose so."
Ms. Everhart, at least, didn't have any illusions of grandeur. But why'd she settle Harry didn't know. Actually, Harry didn't understand a lot of women Tony associated himself with. Harry didn't understand why'd you sleep with a man for one night, and then leave like it didn't mean anything at all. If it was a one time thing, okay, you got used. But to repeatedly do it over and over again like that? But he accepted that such a thing existed and left it be- no matter how weird it may seem.
"You said that you came here to see Mr. Stark away. Is he going somewhere?"
"Yeah, to some weapons' presentation somewhere in Iraq or Iran-"
"Afghanistan." Pepper piqued in.
"Right… that country."
"He does know that place is a hotspot, right?"
Having sent Ms. Everhart on her way, Harry and Pepper went downstairs to where Tony was tinkering with his toys again; a renovated vintage car this time. Harry sat and listened good naturedly the business banter Pepper and Tony had. He'll never get bored listening to those two; even if he had no idea what the hell they were talking about half the time.
"I don't like it when you have plans." Harry was pulled away from his semi-daydreaming to a conversation he could actually follow completely.
"I'm allowed to have plans on my birthday."
"It's your birthday."
"Yes."
"I knew that. Already?"
"Yeah. Isn't that strange? It's the same day as last year."
"Get yourself something nice from me."
"I already did."
"And?"
"Oh, it was very nice."
"Yeah?"
"Very tasteful. Thank you, Mr. Stark."
"You're welcome, Ms. Potts. And what did you get her?"
Tony leaned over to look at Harry who was sitting behind Pepper.
"I got her the shoes and bag to match the dress 'you' bought her. Oh, whoops, you haven't even opened it yet." Harry said with a sheepish smile as Pepper looked at the parcel she received earlier.
With that Tony drank a cup of something that Pepper gave him, and went to get ready to take off. While waiting, Harry made Pepper and himself some tea.
"I swear, that man takes longer to get ready than a woman." Harry told Pepper with an eye roll.
"No arguments about that. He's going to drive his wife nuts one day."
"Now, I definitely have no arguments about that." Harry said and shared a laugh with Pepper.
"Ever think it could be you, Hel?"
"Hmm? What do you mean?"
"Ever thought about being the one he'll marry one day?"
Harry remained quiet for a moment.
"I've… thought about it… Once or twice. Why did you ask that?"
"I know about your… conditions you laid to Mr. Stark. The no cheating thingys."
Harry raised an eyebrow. Had Tony told her that? Harry thought Tony's head was too big for him to talk about something like that.
"Really? Okay, then, but where are you going with this?"
"You know, Hel, you're a very good friend to me, I just… I just don't want to see you wasting away waiting for him."
Harry's mouth dropped very slightly. He was really touched by Pepper's concern. Harry gave her a smile.
"Don't worry. I admit I am waiting for him- kinda. But my world doesn't revolve around him. If there's a guy coming along that I may have a real shot with, I'm not going to turn it away for what might happen between Tony and I when I'm 50."
Pepper gave a semi-relieved smile, but then their conversation was ended as Tony walked in and announced that he's ready to go.
"Buckle up, Hel, I'm driving." Tony said cheerfully as he sat into his fancy sports car.
Harry took the seat next to Tony and buckled up, as asked. Tony and Harry shared a smirk as Tony took off with Happy the chauffer attempting to keep up.
"He keepin' up with us?"
Harry twisted around.
"Nope."
"Maybe you could use that confounding charm thingy you told me about. For kicks."
"He's having difficulty enough as it is, Tony. Besides that charm would probably kill him right now. I don't want him to drive into a cliff or something."
"Turn his hair pink?"
"Yes, because that would so not bring up any awkward questions." Harry rolled his eyes and Tony laughed out loud.
Tony accelerated.
"Tryin' to kill us?" Harry asked, but he wasn't really concerned.
"Well, I don't want to keep Rhodey waiting."
"Tony, you're three hours late."
"Really? I thought it was about two."
"That would be, but you take an hour in the bathroom, you pansy."
Tony bumped Harry's shoulder.
"I do stuff while showering."
"I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that. Didn't you have that reporter, Eversomething, with you last night?"
"Yeah, but it wasn't like she was that pretty anyway."
"Are you high, Tony? She looks incredibly smashing."
"Hmm? You think so? She was okay, I guess, but not really anything to jump off a cliff for."
Harry looked at Tony a little weird. Was he kidding… or serious?
Soon they pulled to a stop by the plane. Tony laughed as he got out of his car and shouted at Happy.
"You're good! I thought I lost you back there!"
"You did, sir. I had to cut across Mulholland." Happy replied as he unloaded Tony's luggage.
Harry laughed.
"Drivin' like a maniac. What would you have done if a cop had tried to pull you over? Tried to race him too?"
"Nope. I would just pay the guy."
Harry rolled his eyes. One day Tony will meet a cop whose morals were too high for even his money.
"What's wrong with you?" Rhodey asked moodily as they neared the plane.
"What?" Tony asked innocently.
"Three hours."
"I got caught doing a piece for Vanity Fair. Hey, one for good luck?"
Helena smiled and gave Tony a goodbye peck on the lips.
"Good luck, be back home soon."
"Sure. Bye."
Tony grinned as he looked Helena go back to his car to drive it home. Sure he had people working for him to do that, but Helena really liked that car for some reason.
"For three hours. For three hours you got me standing here." Rhodey said moodily.
"Waitin' on you now. Let's go. C'mon."
Tony got on the plane and Rhodey followed, thinking that this is so not worth it.
The plane had departed and Rhodey was giving Tony the silent treatment. Tony, not liking the quiet, tried to start a conversation by asking what he was reading.
"Nothing." Rhodey said.
Tony still didn't give up and pulled Rhodey into a banter, him apologizing and Rhodey going on about how typical this was.
"Helena's right. I'm just your babysitter, so if you need your diaper changes you let me know, and I'll get you a bottle, okay."
"I think she said that I needed a babysitter not that I had one. Hey, heat up the sake, will ya?"
"No, we're not drinking! What I think is that she implied I need to be a better babysitter, because you still have no respect for anything."
"You can't have sashimi without sake. I said I was sorry, Rhodey. I told you I got a little caught up doing something-something with Vanity Fair."
"You are constitutionally incapable of being responsib… hey wait a minute. That reporter from Vanity Fair was female, right!? You are so unbelievable!"
"It would be irresponsible not to drink. I'm just talking about a nightcap. And of course it was a female! I wouldn't even bother otherwise, unless it's for TV."
"Hot sake?" Asked the attractive stewardess.
"Yes, two please." Tony replied
"No, I'm not drinking. I don't want any. And who was she anyway? Christine Everhart?"
"How'd you know?"
"Whoa, wait! You spent yesterday with that woman?"
"What's the big deal? It's not like she was that nice looking."
"That nice loo- are you out of your damn mind?! She's unbelievably stunning."
"What are you, desperate? I guess I was a little, last night. I wouldn't have had brought her home with me last night otherwise, but it had been awhile since I've been with a woman. I mean she was sort of okay looking, but not really- why are you looking at me like that?"
Rhodey had not moved a muscle. He was just staring at Tony like he had grown a second head. All of a sudden he reached out and downed his sake cup with one gulp. For a moment neither man said anything, but then Rhodey said in a quiet voice.
"Helena has ruined you."
"What are you talking about?"
"That woman looks… well divine doesn't even cut it. Next to her no other woman looks even remotely beautiful. I think you've gotten used to Helena's looks so much that you can't be satisfied with anything less. Like take Miss Everhart for example. Tony, she is one of the prettiest women I've ever seen, but to you she seems barely mediocre! Now that's just… sad."
This time it was Tony who downed his cup in one swig.
Hours later the plane landed, with Tony feeling as fresh as ever and Rhodey having one killer hangover. How'd he managed that, remained a mystery to Rhodey- especially since they both had a little private party with the stewardesses a little while ago. A little embarrassing because it was Rhodey who told Tony to get some rest when one of the flight attendants blindfolded and dragged him away (while the other two offered their own 'services' to Rhodey).
In Tony's opinion the weapons presentation went as smoothly as any other- in other words flawlessly. Then, after getting a drink, it was time to drive away. He got into a hummer with some soldiers and got ready to take off only to be interrupted by Rhodey.
"Hey, Tony!"
"I'm sorry, this is the 'fun-vee'. The 'hum-drum-vee' is back there."
"Nice job." Rhodey said with an eye roll and nod.
"See you back at base." Tony said and pulled his head away from the window.
It was barely five minutes into driving and Tony was starting to regret not going with Rhodey. This place, aside from the radio, was like a library- no one dared to talk!
"I feel like you're driving me to court-martial. This is crazy. What did I do? I feel like you're gonna pull over and snuff me."
Tony turned to the young man sitting next to him. "What, you're not allowed to talk? Hey, Forrest!"
"We can talk, sir." The man replied in a barely concealed nervous tone.
"Oh, I see. So it's personal?"
"No, you intimidate them." Came the female voice of the driver.
So Tony reacted like… Tony.
"Good god, you're a woman. I honestly… I couldn't have called that. I mean I apologize but isn't that what we're going for here? I thought of you as a soldier first."
"I'm an airman." She replied crisply, not taking her eyes off the road even for a moment. The other two men in the vehicle, however, were staring to get quite amused.
"Well you have, actually, excellent bone structure, there. I'm kind of having a hard time not looking at you, now. Is that weird?"
The lad next to him tried but failed to hold back a laugh.
"Come on, it's okay. Laugh!"
"Sir I have a question to ask."
Oh, finally! Tony enjoyed hearing himself speak, but being around guys with knots in their tongue made even him feel weird.
"Yes, please." He said immediately.
"Is it true you went 12 for 12 with last year's Maxim cover models?"
"That is an excellent question. Yes and no. March and I had a scheduling conflict, but fortunately, the Christmas cover was twins. Anything else?"
The lad next seat raised his hand up hesitantly. Was he serious?
"You're kidding me with the hand up thing, right?"
He let his hand down and skittishly asked "Is it cool if I take a picture with you?"
The guy looked like he would commit suicide if Tony refused.
"Yes. It's very cool."
However, they never managed to get one. While the lad had managed to give the slightly older man at front his camera, to get the photo taken, the car that drove in front of them was blown to bits. What happened next, Tony couldn't remember very clearly. What he did remember was lots of fear, blood and shouting. He got out of the car after seeing pretty much every soldier killed. Running around in shock and confusion he somehow managed to maneuver himself back-to-rock. Taking out his phone he attempted to launch a distress call, but before he could finish, one of his own delay-missileheads dropped down within few feet of him. Recognizing it for what it was- after all he himself had designed it- Tony made a mad dash to get away. It didn't work very well, and the next thing Tony knew was that he was blown to his back and that his chest hurt… a lot. Looking down he realized that his bulletproof vest hadn't done its job right. This was so not his day.
What happened next was even more of a blur. He remembered, vaguely, a man speaking, some unfriendly light shining into his eyes- and even more pain in his chest area. The chloroform that was finally pressed to his face seemed like the most welcome thing that had ever happened to him at that moment.
When Tony finally regained his conscious the first thing he noticed was that he was uncomfortable. Was something clogging his nose? His hand reached to scratch, but his fingers made contact with some thin tube. Not liking the tube even one bit he grabbed and started pulling the damn thing. It seemed like forever before he managed to pull that gross stuff out.
Looking to his left he saw water. His throat feeling drier than ever, he tried to reach out, but his hands felt too short and too clumsy. That's when he noticed that he was not alone. A man in a gray suit was shaving off his beard while humming to himself absentmindedly. The man didn't look hostile so Tony just left it be and attempted to reach for the water once more- but this time something was physically holding him back.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Tony heard the man say.
He turned around and saw a box that looked like some ancient car battery or something. He pulled at the wires that were attached to it and followed them. Much to his surprise and horror he realized the other end were attached to him! There was… something round and metallic surgically stuck to him. Tony felt too shocked to panic.
At first Tony didn't do anything, he just laid there. Then he sat up and examined the… thing in his chest a little closer.
"What the hell did you do to me?" He asked raspily.
"What I did? What I did is to save your life." The older professorlike man replied with a dry chuckle. "I removed all the shrapnel I could, but here's a lot left, and it's headed into your atrial septum. Here, wanna see? I have a souvenir. Take a look."
The man threw a glass bottle containing little pieces of metal at Tony. Tony caught it and raised it up to his eye level.
"I've seen many wounds like that in my village. We call them the walking dead, because it takes about a week for the barbs to reach the vital organs."
"What is this?"
"That is an electromagnet, hooked up to a car battery, and it's keeping the shrapnel from entering your heart."
At that moment, Tony could care less. What he wanted to know more was why he was there with a man he'd never met with a round piece of junk metal stuck to his chest. But that question became guessable when he noticed a security camera. The professor, who seemed to have a morbid dry sense of humor, noticed that as well and said,
"That's right. Smile."
The professor made small talk that Tony didn't really pay any attention to.
"Where are we?" Tony wanted to know, but he didn't get the chance to find out as at that moment voices were heard from behind the door.
"Come on, stand up. Stand up!" The professor coached "Just do as I do. Come on, put your hands up."
It was then when the men opened the heavy iron doors and entered. The first thing that Tony noticed wasn't that they were dangerous terrorists, but that they were carrying his guns. How in the seven blazes of hell did they get his guns? He asked the man next to him, but the man shushed him and told him to do as he did again.
A fat man, who was obviously a little more up in the food chain there, came and started talking about something very boisterously, from which Tony only recognized his own name. After the man had finished he motioned the professor to translate.
"He says: "Welcome, Tony Stark, the most famous mass murderer in the history of America."".
Tony didn't react in any way, and apparently he wasn't supposed to, as the fat male continued with the same odd hospitable smile that seemed extremely out of place.
"He's honored. He wants you to build the missile; the Jericho missile that you demonstrated." The professor then took a photo from the terrorist and showed it to Tony. "This one."
Tony took one look at his latest invention. No, no, no, no! It's true that he was war profiting, but all his weapons were supposed to stay for Americans to use, not go to these terrorist! So without a doubt in his mind: "I refuse."
The next thing he knew… his head was wet and lungs burning.
After the pitiful excuses of human beings deemed that he had had enough, he was taken outside with a bag over his head (a little insulting because that professor didn't have one over his!). Tony most certainly hoped that every terrorist hideout didn't look like this one. Was this a hideout or a weapons' storage? His weapons' storage. This was not how it was supposed to be!
The fat man went on about the Jericho again. Saying that he will be set free once it's finished. Tony smiled and shook hands with the proverbial devil. And he didn't make deals with devils- he always preferred to be one.
Later that evening in a cave the professor tried to give him a pep talk, but Tony didn't see how it mattered anymore, since he was probably going to die anyway. The professor was right about one thing: his friends would never find him in these mountains.
"Why should I do anything? They're going to kill me, you, either way. And if they don't I'll probably be dead in a week."
"Well, then, this is a very important week for you, isn't it?"
Tony didn't say anything, but he felt an epiphany take over. That professor had been here for god knows how long, and despite having such a nice disposition his heart is filled with revenge. He wanted these men to die, or at least suffer a bit. He and Tony were still probably going to die, but at least they were going to screw these guys over while at it! The chances of actually escaping weren't good, but with his mind there was at least something… but first things first- he needed a better heart.
Tony felt right at home bossing the terrorist around. But after his workspace had been prepped, materials collected, and annoyances booted out of the cave, the first stage of the plan could begin.
"You know, we might be more productive if you include me in the planning process."
"Yu-huh?"
Tony broke open a missilehead, removed a piece of metal and showed it to the ever-curious professor.
"What is that?"
"That's palladium, 0.15 grams. We need at least 1.6, so why don't you break down the other 11?"
After that was done, they melted the metal and the professor poured it to a case that Tony hade prepped. While in the process of pouring Tony realized it was a little annoying calling the man 'that professor' even in his own mind.
"What do I call you?" He asked.
"My name is Yinsen."
"Yinsen. Nice to meet you."
Yinsen pulled away from the case.
"Nice to meet you too."
After the metal had cooled, Tony could finally start the real work. All the while Yinsen looked at him with fascination. Usually Tony liked working in solitude and having someone breathing at the back of his neck annoyed him, but he didn't really mind this time. That and Yinsen looked like a child watching his favorite TV program.
Finally, Tony was almost done. All that remained was activating the project. Yinsen leaned over to look at the small glowing thing on the table with fascination.
"That doesn't look like a Jericho missile." He pointed out the obvious.
"That's because it's a miniaturized arc reactor. I've got a big one powering my factory at home. It should keep the shrapnel out of my heart."
"But what could it generate?" Yinsen asked.
"If my math is correct, and it always is, three gigajoules per second."
"That could run your heart for 50 lifetimes" Yinsen said in wonder.
"Yeeah… or something big for 15 minutes. Come here."
Tony pulled Yinsen to a table where several plans and prints were. He put the on top of each other.
"This is our ticket out of here." Tony whispered proudly.
"What is it?" Yinsen asked for the umpteenth time in such a short time.
"Flatten 'em out and look."
Tony flattened the prints against the lit table and the image of what looked like a child's toy robot appeared.
"Oh, wow. Impressive." Yinsen whispered.
"Thanks, but now, I think it's time for my heart surgery."
After Yinsen had placed Tony's new 'heart' in place they decided to take a small break with a board game.
"Good roll." Yinsen complimented Tony on his luck.
"You still haven't told me where you're from."
"I'm from a small town called Gulmira. It's actually a nice place."
"Got a family?"
"Yes, and I will see them when I leave here. And you, Stark?"
Tony really didn't know how to answer that. The question caught him by surprise and brought Helena to the front of his thoughts. Truth was, she had always been in his thoughts during his stay here. When he got hit by the bomb, when he was in surgery, when he was tortured, when he was working on the arc reactor- just not on the forefront, but somewhere in between his conscious and unconscious mind. Thinking about it now, Tony felt like shit that he never got to tell her how he felt about her. And all because he had commitment issues! This strengthened Tony's resolve to get out of this dump. He still had some unfinished business to attend to.
"Stark? You okay? You sort of spaced out there."
"I… no. I don't have a family."
"No? So you're a man who has everything and nothing."
Tony smiled.
"Hopefully I can rectify that once I'm out of here. If I hadn't been such an idiot I… might have been married… probably… maybe."
Yinsen laughed.
"So I take it you have a lady friend waiting back at home?"
"Sort of. She's the most… interesting woman I've ever met. You know, when I first met her…"
Tony told Yinsen about Helena. How'd she'd given him an ultimatum, how brilliant she was, and, of course, how amazing she looked. He even told him about Rhodey's thoughts about how'd she'd ruined him with her beauty. That gotten them a laugh!
Tony and Yinsen were in the middle of working when the door was opened and about a dozen men came in. A bald man, who seemed to be even higher up in the food chain than the fat man, strutted in confidently. He took an interested but snooty look around before his gaze stopped at Tony.
"Relax." He told them.
Tony let his arms down and saw Yinsen do the same. The bald dude came uncomfortably close to Tony to take a closer look at the slightly glowing piece of technology in Tony's chest.
"The bow and arrow…" he started with a voice Tony humorously thought would suit an old pipe-happy Indian chieftain "…once was the pinnacle of weapons technology. It allowed the great Genghis Khan to rule from the Pacific to the Ukraine. An empire twice the size of Alexander the Great and four times the size of the Roman Empire."
The Baldude (mixture of bald dude, as dubbed by Tony) went to dangerous territory as he picked up the suit plans.
"But today, whoever holds the latest Stark weapons rules these lands."
Yinsen tried to subtly signal something.
"And soon, it will be my turn." Baldude finished his monologue dramatically and put down the plans.
He walked in front of Tony and looked at him straight in the eye. Then he said something obviously not meant for Tony's ears as Tony didn't speak whatever language this guy was using. Yinsen replied something, but he was looking nervous. Baldude predatorily stalked to Yinsen and said something that seemingly made Yinsen even more nervous. Yinsen replied the man with a nervous lick of his lips. Then the Baldude said something again and several of his goons grabbed Yinsen.
Baldude went to the furnace and seemingly started poking the fire all the while blabbering something Tony still didn't understand. Yinsen replied, now looking downright scared. Baldude turned around and he had one big burning coal between his tweezers. He said something with a honey-laced tome.
"What does he want?" Tony asked as someone grabbed Yinsen's head and Baldude moved the coal closer.
He asked something and Yinsen replied. This time Tony understood what their conversation had probably been about, as he recognized the word 'Jericho' from Yinsen. Baldude asked the same question and Yinsen replied the same answer. This time Baldude yelled the question angrily and Yinsen replied very frantically. Tony had to interfere before Yinsen really got hurt.
"What do you want? A delivery date?" He asked and took a step closer. As soon as he did the goons skittishly pointed their weapons at him with shouts and panicky looks. Tony made a 'cheh' sound of disbelief. Baldude turned his attention to Tony.
"I need him." Oh, that just sounded so wrong "Good assistant."
Baldude let the coal fall off the tweezers only a few inches from Yinsen's face.
"You have until tomorrow to assemble my missile." He said with an air of drama around him. Maybe he should try Hollywood one day? If he didn't have such an unquenchable thirst to rule the world, that is.
Either way it was time to get back to work.
Having finished the final touches of the armor, Tony packed himself up in uncomfortable leather and, with the help Yinsen, the iron armor.
"Okay, say it again." Yinsen asked Tony to recite the way out of the cave as he finished up final touches of getting in the armor.
"41 steps straight ahead. Then 16 steps, that's from the door, fork right, 33 steps, turn right…"
Tony went on nervously. He had just finished when the eye flap of the door was pulled aside and they were called out.
"Say something. Say something back to him." Tony told Yinsen.
"He's speaking Hungarian. I don't…"
"Then speak Hungarian." Tony told Yinsen, frustrated.
"Okay, I know."
"What do you know?"
Yinsen snapped his fingers, frantically trying to remember any vocabulary he knew of that language. Apparently it wasn't enough, because they opened the door to come in. Well they never managed that last tidbit since there was a bomb set to go off when the door was moved from its stillness.
"How'd that work?" Tony asked Yinsen.
Yinsen twisted his body to look at the door.
"Oh, my goodness. It worked all right." He said with a headshake and got back to working on Tony.
"That's what I do." Tony said, considerably less proud than he would have been in the past. "Initialize the power sequence."
"Okay." Yinsen went to the computer and waited for Tony's further instructions.
After that was done Tony told Yinsen to finish buttoning him up. After that was done Yinsen took one look at the computer screen.
"I'm gonna go buy you some time." He told Tony and ran past him.
"Stick to the plan." Tony tried to tell him, but Yinsen had already left, with a gun (taken from one of the dead-from-door-guy) blazing.
So now Tony had nothing to do except to wait for getting fully loaded, and listen to the distancing rattle of Yinsen's stolen automatic. The end loaded fairly fast, and when it did, there was a minor power outage. So there he was, sitting in the darkness, playing hide-and-go-seek with a few terrified terrorist. Oh looky, one of them found him! Let's punch the poor sucker across the room! The other men, frightened to see their buddy soar through the air, did the only sensible thing and insensibly wasted their bullets on the empty space.
Tony waited until they've ceased fire before punching their lights out. Well, that was easy. But now he needed to find Yinsen. He went through the drill with only minor annoyances (read: the terrorists didn't stand a chance), and then he finally got to the door Yinsen told him would be there after 41 steps. The dudes tried to seal him in, meanwhile leaving one of their comrades to piss his pants on his side of the door. Not bothering with anything drastic he threw the poor sod away from him and turned to literally knock down a door. It took exactly four knocks.
Tony tried to swat one panicked man, but missed and hit the stone wall. Well, that wouldn't have bothered him, but his arm kinda got stuck there. While attempting to free himself he didn't notice one of the men sneak up to him, but the next thing he knew was that he felt like someone put a massive bell over his head and rung it… loudly. He turned his head he looked down to see that a man just committed suicide while attempting to kill him. Well, that's different. Luckily that man wasn't smart enough to actually use the one flaw in his armor- his eyes.
Pulling his arm free, he was set to go. He was just about outside already when he saw Yinsen.
"Yinsen!" He shouted and took a step towards him.
"Watch out!" Yinsen wheezed.
Tony turned to see Baldude with a shotgun. Luckily, he missed. Well, Tony didn't hit bull's-eyes either, but his shot was a little better still. Having that annoyance out of the way Tony turned back to Yinsen.
"Stark." He said weakly.
"C'mon. We gotta go." Tony said as he pulled his mask up. "Move with me, c'mon. We got a plan. We're gonna stick to it."
"This was always the plan, Stark." Oookay, blood loss has made him delirious.
"Come on, you're gonna go see your family. Get up."
"My family is dead. I'm going to see them now, Stark. It's okay. I want this."
Tony sighed and smiled. He remembered Yinsen's pep talk when he was depressed when he first arrived. He asked him if that was the last act of defiance of Mr. Tony Stark. Well, this was his. It was clear that the man didn't mind dying. On the contrary, he was hoping for it, but just wanted the last oomph before departing from this world. And suicide didn't give that.
"Thank you for saving me." He told Yinsen.
"Don't waste it. Don't waste your life. Tell you… tell your lady friend how you… feel about her… And Stark…?"
Tony had to lean over, as much as his armor allowed, to be able to hear Yinsen's whispers.
"Kids are a blessing not a curse…"
Those were the last words of Yinsen.
Tony blinked and just stood there for a moment, before remembering that he was still kind of in a hotspot. He pulled his mask back on and got ready to depart. Hopefully with his spleen intact.
He walked straight out of the cave and found a welcoming committee of armed terrorist. He heard a man yell and suddenly there was a rain of fire on him. After they had stopped Tony said in a morbid tone of voice "My turn." And opened real fire on them.
The men scattered, but Tony didn't cease fire, yet. He still had his own weapons to destroy. Apparently the terrorists didn't like it, so they quickly opened fire on him again. This didn't feel very pleasant, add to the fact that he was standing in the middle of fire in an iron suit. It was getting too warm for comfort and oxygen was becoming a problem as well. Oh, someone just got a lucky shot at his knee- luckily not his real flesh knee. Giving one last jet of fire, he pushed a few control buttons on his arm and took off in the air.
That was really exhilarating! Unfortunately, it only lasted a few seconds and dooooown he went again. The landing was short and rough and Tony suddenly found himself chest deep in sand in the middle of metallic rubble. He took off his mask and looked around.
"Not bad." He said. Well, he did build this thing in a cave and had almost no test runs whatsoever. That aside… he was going to be so sore in the morning.
Somehow Tony managed to wiggle himself out of the pile of sand and scrap metal and start his trek in the desert. The heat felt excruciating, especially on his shoulders, but he didn't dare take his jacket away from his head, because exposing his bare head to the sun would probably give him a stroke. He really didn't know how long he had stumbled around that damn dry place when two military choppers flew overhead.
Tony yelled and waved and the choppers landed. Tony fell on his knees in relief and his fingers formed a peace sign. A few guys jumped out of the machine and ran to him. Was that…? No way!
"How was the 'fun-vee'?" Asked Rhodey.
Tony closed his eyes and laughed. He would've cried too, hadn't he been so dehydrated already.
"Next time, you ride with me, okay?"
Then Rhodey pulled Tony in to a hug.
It was time to go home.
Word count: 7248
Thank you for reading.