"hey sora now we're in the story" said riku "the author must have a point to prove"
sora was lying on a field looking at the sky the sky was sparkling with stars like some kind of vampire it was the skies of a killer (OHHHHH HO HO) he looked across the field at riku who was flexing his muscles
"what are you doing"
"oh nothing just getting ready to rock your world" said riku giving sora a good shot of the awesome face
"i'm scared"
"oh don't be sora just let me reach around right he-- AAAAAHHH WHAT IS THIS TRICKERY"
"it's a keyblade in your motherfucking eye, cocksucker" sora snarled "what the fuck do you think you're doing"
"i was just going in for the rape" whimpered poor riku
"riku what the hell i've murdered like fifty thousand heartless most of the organization and i've kicked your ass like three times why do you think you could rape me if anything i'd be the one raping your ass"
"well idk i'm sorry i thought i was better than you but i was wrong"
"well at least you told the truth and said you're sorry, and that's the best lesson of all"
BACK TO THE CURRENT SITUATION
"SUP, CHILDREN" boomed xigbar. axel prayed he didn't shit his pants
"uh n-n-n-nothing sir" stammered r-r-r-roxas
"OKAY WELL I'LL BE RIGHT OVER HERE" said xigbar as he walked up the wall and perched on the ceiling examining the two members, his one eye bugging out like a crazy thing
axel and roxas exchanged looks before going on with their conversation
"so what were we talking about"
"man i don't know"
"hmm... so.... hey, so, roxas, if the game explicitly states that organization members don't have emotions, then what is the motivation for their actions in the game? after all, without the emotion of greed or longing there's no excuse to go after things"
"well axel it is stated that they remember what it was LIKE to feel them"
"yes roxas but you can remember what it's like to feel sad but that's not anything like actually feeling sad"
"well perhaps it's like, they know what they should be feeling in a certain situation and so they react to a given situation with the emotion that would be produced by that situation. (an: SITUATION SITUATION!!!) for example, i could snap your arm, and although it would not technically make you feel any sense of anger, sadness, and/or fear, you would portray yourself as feeling in that way so that you would have a reason to get yourself away from danger. perhaps the search for hearts is so they can get emotions, and therefore have reasons to avoid being killed, hurt, etc."
"what are you talking about"
"man, i don't know"
"well demyx says that they 'do too have hearts', what are your feelings on that?"
"well yen sid does say that some of them think they do have hearts"
"hmmm and in one of the extras included in kingdom hearts 2 final mix, there is a scene where demyx is ordered to go after sora and his party. he expresses reluctance up to the point where he is reminded that he doesn't have feelings; then he goes regardless of the danger. indeed, when you have your second fight against him, he again shows fear and doubt, until he is provoked, upon which he shows a drastic change in character and actively chooses to attack sora and his gang. the sudden change is curious."
"indeed"
"hmmm"
"so what decision have we reached with this"
"uhhh we, in our refusal to admit that a certain game is badly flawed, are making a bunch of excuses and reasons for contradictions in a video game, when really it's obvious that square enix just didn't think things through."
"does it really matter though it's a game such deep thought about it doesn't really fit, right? and it's not like kingdom hearts is some deep mature game; it's obviously made for kids"
"well, not exactly kids, i wouldn't say that. but yeah, i get what you're saying"
"good thing this is just the author talking to herself, otherwise we might have gotten into a fight"
"CEILING XIGBAR IS WATCHING YOU MASTURBATE" screamed xigbar from the ceiling