Chapter Seven
"Beware the Jabberwock, my son," Hatter said. Alice looked up sharply and felt her happiness fade when she saw that same blank look in his eyes. "The jaws that bite, the claws that catch."
He started to wander off and Alice had to catch up to him and pull him back. It wasn't fair! Wonderland was supposed to cure him, and for a while he'd been just like his old self.
"Don't do this to me, not now!" Alice pleaded. Hatter frowned but didn't say anything more. She tugged on his arm, and after a minute he started walking with her.
Alice wasn't sure which direction to go, so she decided to trust her instincts. In the dream she'd had, the one where Dinah had led her to the door in the tree, she hadn't been all that far from the Kingdom of the Knights. If they could find their way back there, maybe they could find Charlie.
"That's what we'll do," Alice said to her unresponsive fiancé. "We'll find Charlie. He'll know what to do."
They walked on, through clumps of ferns and around the massive trees. The air was full of bird song, and once Alice thought she heard the call of the Jabberwock, but it was far off and faint. Her mind full of memories of her last encounter with the creature, she was especially wary of where she walked. She didn't want to wander into another one of Charlie's pits.
"Scones," Hatter said. "Scones and cream cakes. Can't have tea without them."
Alice turned to look at him, still moving forward. Which is when she stepped on the net that had been hidden under leaf litter. It swung up around her and Hatter and hoisted them in the air. Alice screeched in surprise and her stomach lurched. What was it about Wonderland? Why couldn't she ever just stay on her feet?
Hatter thrashed around beside her, muttering and moaning. "Murder. Mayhem. Mad March."
"Hatter, be still!"
If anything, Hatter became more agitated. One of his flailing arms caught Alice right in the face, connecting painfully with her cheekbone and bringing tears up in that eye. With a sinking feeling she knew she was going to have a bruise there, and she knew what it would do to Hatter when he saw it.
Alice struggled to shift herself in the swinging net, to put some space – or at least her back – to Hatter. She had no idea where the backpack was, and tried to feel around for it. If she could get the pocket knife out, maybe she could cut through enough of the net to let them drop out.
"Oi! Trespassers!"
Alice froze when she heard the voice calling up to them. She looked down and saw a boy looking up at her, a stern look on his face. He didn't appear to be older than fifteen or sixteen, and he wore a set of red armor that looked like it had been cobbled together from spare parts. Alice felt a bit of déjà vu, remembering meeting another knight under very similar circumstances.
"We're not trespassing!" Alice called back down. "We're going to the Kingdom of the Knights."
"This is not the path that invited guests travel," the boy said suspiciously.
"Look, can you get us down? I'll explain once I'm out of this net."
Hatter had stilled beside her, for which Alice was grateful. The less crazy he acted, the better chance she had of this kid letting them go.
"Do not think you can trick me," the boy said. "I'm a KIT."
"It's not a trick. Listen, Kit, please just let us down. We're friends of Charlie. Um…Sir Charles."
"My name is not Kit. I am a KIT. Knight in Training. You may call me Toby."
Alice made herself count to ten. "Toby, if you just let us down I'll explain why we're here."
Toby studied her for a moment and Alice strove to look non-threatening. Finally he sighed and disappeared from view for a moment. Seconds later, the net – with Hatter and Alice inside – crashed back down to the ground.
"Uh. Hatter, get off!" Alice pushed at him until he moved, and she could breathe again. Toby was back with a sword in his hand, which he kept pointed in Alice's direction. She quickly untangled herself and Hatter from the net.
"How do you know Sir Charles?" the boy knight asked.
"He's our friend."
Toby looked her over from top to bottom with a clinical eye. "You do not look like any friends of Sir Charles."
Okay. She'd had enough of this. Alice decided to get straight to the point, and the only way she figured to do that was to use the hated title.
"I'm Alice. The Alice of Legend. Does that name mean anything to you?"
Apparently it did, because Toby turned white and dropped immediately to his knees with a clank.
"I'm so sorry, Lady Alice! I didn't realize…"
"It's okay, Toby. Please get up."
He stood and sheathed his sword, but he wouldn't look Alice in the eye.
"Is that Sir Hatter with you, Lady?"
"Yes, Toby. And he's very ill. We need to get to Charlie. Can you help us?" Alice reached out a hand and pulled Hatter back when he started to wander off.
"Yes, Lady Alice. It would be my honor, as a Knight in Training, to lead you and Sir Hatter to the Kingdom of the Knights."
"Yeah, okay." Alice looked around and spotted the backpack. She slung it over her shoulder and followed Toby, dragging Hatter behind her like a recalcitrant toddler.
"I'm thinking of things that begin with F," Hatter muttered. "Failure. Fear. Freakshow."
"Hush, Hatter," Alice said.
*o*o*o*
Alice hadn't been on a horse since her last ride through the forest on Guinevere. It was a bittersweet memory now, as they all were; she remembered Hatter smiling and telling her about his sledgehammer hand, and trying to get her to put her arms around him. Now she was the one in front, with Hatter sitting behind her, and she wished he'd sit back and give her a little space. He'd fallen asleep almost as soon as they started out and his full weight was pressed against her.
"What is the nature of Sir Hatter's illness?" Toby asked, riding alongside her. They passed the giant white mushroom and Alice knew they were getting close.
"He has Homesickness," Alice explained. Toby just looked at her, and it was clear he had no idea what that was. "I'm hoping Charlie can help him."
"You have come here from the Oyster world, then?"
"The doctors in my world couldn't help him," Alice said. She rolled her shoulders back a bit; they were getting sore from supporting Hatter.
"I am certain Sir Charles can help him. He is the greatest Knight in all of Wonderland." There was a gleam of hero worship in Toby's eye and Alice chuckled to see it.
"How many Knights in Training are there, Toby?"
"Only fifteen right now. We're still getting the word out. And to be honest, we do more clearing and cleaning than we do learning swordplay."
Alice remembered the crumbled state of Charlie's fortress, and knew it would take a lot of hard work to set it all to rights again. She was proud of him, though. Here he was, training a new generation of knights. She was glad he had some real company, and hadn't gone back to living out in the woods on his own.
When the Kingdom of the Knights came into view through the trees, Alice grinned. It looked the same as she remembered, at least from this distance, and she felt an overpowering yearning to see Charlie again. She hadn't realized until now just how much she'd missed him.
"It's so beautiful," she said. Toby grinned at her.
"Wait until you see all the work we've done!" He led the way down the hill. Alice followed, though to be honest she didn't have to do much more than hold on because her horse surely knew the way. All of Charlie's horses seemed to have an uncanny homing instinct.
They were halfway down the hill when Hatter jerked back in the saddle. Alice was so startled she almost slipped off, and was unable to stop Hatter from doing just that. He landed with a thud and started rolling around on the ground, holding his head and making an awful mewling sound.
"Hatter! Toby, wait!" Alice slid out of the saddle and ran to Hatter's side. His face was white and pinched, and he had drawn his knees up to his chest. His hands were holding his head so tightly that Alice could see fingernail marks in his skin.
"Hatter! What's wrong?"
"Twinkling of the tea," Hatter said behind clenched teeth. The cords in his neck stood out in sharp relief. Alice could see that he was in terrible pain, and it was nothing she could throw pills at this time.
"Started with tea. Terror. Treacle. Testimony. Uuhhnn!"
"What should we do?" Toby's eyes were wide. Alice had to force herself to think, even though she was so scared.
"Charlie! Go get Charlie!"
Toby took off as if demons were on his tail. Alice tried to soothe Hatter, but whenever she touched him he jerked away like she was burning him. He writhed and moaned and babbled, and all Alice could do was watch him with tears running down her face.
"Alice!" Hatter cried, and now he shoved the heels of his hands into his eyes. "Can't save Alice! Alice!"
"I'm here, Hatter! I'm right here!"
Alice was only dimly aware that horses were approaching. She tried again to touch Hatter, to let him know she was there with him, but he screamed and rolled away from her hands.
"Just Alice!"
Alice looked up and saw a watery vision of Charlie, resplendent in his dented white armor. She got to her feet and threw her arms around him, sobbing.
"Help him, Charlie! Please!"
"He has Homesickness," Toby said helpfully.
"I am not familiar with that particular malady," Charlie said, patting Alice on the back. "I will consult…the Black Arts."
Charlie detached Alice from his armor and bent down next to Hatter. He grabbed one of his hands, holding it despite how much Hatter was thrashing around, and studied his palm.
"Not good," he muttered. "What have you been up to, Harbinger?"
"Can you help him?" Toby asked. Charlie stood up, his head held high.
"Naturally! I shall peer through the mists that shroud the mysterious oracle and consult the forces that move about us, unseen but all-knowing."
Alice could only stare, never having seen Charlie and his Black Arts in action before. It was just as Hatter had described it. She noticed that Toby was observing his mentor with a look of reverence on his face.
Charlie put his fingers to his temple and closed his eyes. "Galadoon…tapoosh!"
The White Knight stood there, frozen, for what seemed like hours. Alice looked down at Hatter, who had stopped rolling around and was now just whimpering, and willed Charlie to get a move on.
"Toby!" Charlie's eyes snapped open and he whirled to face his trainee. "Fetch some blankets, three Frogwattle leaves, the powdered tove, and the small bottle of tiger lily extract. Bring it to my quarters and start a pot of water boiling. Just Alice and I will bring the Harbinger. Off you go!"
Toby ran off to do Charlie's bidding. Alice gaped at her old friend. Never had she seen him so confident and in control of himself. She just hoped he – or the mysterious oracle at least – knew what he was doing.
"Alice, can you help me get him to the Throne Room?" Charlie asked softly.
"Wherever you need him, Charlie."
Together they hoisted Hatter to his feet, slinging one arm around Charlie's shoulders and the other around Alice's. His head lolled back and forth between them, and he was still moaning and muttering.
"We must hurry," Charlie said. "He's running out of time."
AN: Yay! Charlie to the rescue! Can the Black Arts help him save Hatter? It occurred to me as I was writing this that Alice never saw Charlie do his Black Arts thing – only Hatter had that particular pleasure.
What do you think of Toby? We'll be seeing more of him in later chapters, he's kind of Charlie's right-hand man. Boy. Whatever!