And then it was the 20th. As I got ready for school, I couldn't help but think how the last week had gone by incredibly fast. It felt like I had only had the first meeting with Koizumi and the others a couple of days ago, and that the end of year festival was still in a week's time. I used to have a habit of procrastinating, and I could feel it coming back- I kept thinking "No, no, just another week. Please don't let the universe end this week". Stupid thoughts, of course, although you could probably imagine my desperation. Having lived through one end-of-world scenario with Haruhi, I wasn't particularly looking forward to experiencing another one.
I met up with Fran on the way to school, but her discussion points didn't really set my mind at ease so much as disturbed it further. She seemed more upbeat than usual, although still somewhat spacey. When I questioned her about this, she told me that she had been talking to her friend "Iigoronacku" or something, and that he lived in a wall and liked people to give him attention. Or to attend to him. Or something. Knowing Fran's horror stories, he was probably some mutant creature she had created, that fed on humans. Even relaying this information now gives me shivers.
Taniguchi was the next to greet me, while I was changing my outdoor shoes for indoor ones, and he spouted more of his senseless banter. In the mix, he also threw in the occasional invite to hang out with him and Kunikida, yet asking me not to bring along Suzumiya, Nagato or Koizumi, in case "something weird" happened. He feverishly requested I bring along Miss Asahina, however. Typical Taniguchi.
And of course, while I was sitting down, waiting for homeroom to start, in bounds Haruhi, Izumi at her side. They'd been plotting something in secret all week, and I noticed that they were both wearing wide grins on their faces, meaning either they were going to tell me about it or they were going to draft me into their scheme. I had a bad feeling about it, either way.
"Hey, Kyon." Haruhi whispered, without even so much as a good morning. "We've just been to the costume designer for the Keion club, and..."
"Whoa, hold on, Haruhi! Do you really want him getting in on our plan?" Izumi exclaimed, startling the whole room.
"Don't worry about it, Konata!" Haruhi yelled back, eclipsing Izumi's voice entirely. "So anyway, we went to Sawako, the supervisor and costume designer for the Keion club, and we found out what Miss Sakaki's gonna be wearing today..."
Alarm bells. Miss Sakaki again. Haruhi was probably referencing her on-stage costume for when she was to perform with the Keion club. Thankfully, she was on the other side of the room with Takino, Mihama and the others, so she couldn't hear what embarrassing crap Haruhi had planned. Although, when I thought about it, that was probably what Haruhi had counted on.
"She's wearing a maid outfit! So moe." Izumi said, her eyes gleaming with excitement. "It's gonna be super-short too, from what I hear."
"Yeah, although it'll have to be about knee length, Sawako said. School rules." Haruhi murmured, disappointed. "Nonetheless, it doesn't interfere with our plan. What we're going to do is we're going to get a perfect panty shot of Miss Sakaki~."
At this point, I froze. A panty shot of Miss Sakaki. The concept was so...unthinkably cruel that I was surprised even Haruhi had come up with it. Then again, Haruhi had just co-created an entire new universe. Who knew what had happened to her mind after that?
"It was my idea, so don't take all the credit for it." Izumi glared at Haruhi. Oh, that explains it, I thought. At least the God's mind is relatively sane. The problem lay in the plan itself- they were setting up fireworks all around the stage, so that after the performance was over, they could let them all off and shock Sakaki off her feet, throwing her legs in the air and...for my sake, I'd probably better not relay the rest. Let's just say that my job was to take a photograph, thus allowing Haruhi to copy it repeatedly and sell it round the school, as she did with Miss Asahina and the bunny girl photo earlier this year. Her excuse was that it "raised valuable money for the SOS Brigade", which, in my mind, anyway, was a valid excuse for anything other than "taking embarrassing photos of classmates and selling them". Besides, Haruhi could just bribe and blackmail until she got what she wanted, she'd done it before. Therefore, I concluded that her real reason for taking this photo was "because I can", a reason which applied to pretty much everything else Haruhi did.
"Alright, alright, shut up and siddown!"
Miss Tanizaki was late, as usual. By the state of her hair, she'd slept in until about 5 minutes before lessons started. Izumi got up to leave, before addressing Tanizaki at the front.
"Hey, Yukari-chan. Nice going last night- I've never ever seen a rare drop like the one you got!"
"Izumi, please go back to your own class, now." Tanizaki said, trying her best to keep calm. "Oh yeah, and tell Kuroi that there's no way she's beating me on Street Fighter again. EVER."
Izumi smiled her catlike smile and bounced out of the class. The way everyone was acting, you'd think it was just a normal day, not the last day...ever. Haruhi was also filled with boundless energy as usual, yet it didn't annoy me so much. If a cheap comedian could see me now, he'd say I had the "End of the World Blues". I always hated those comedians.
When it got to lunchtime, Konata and Haruhi disappeared, presumably to set up the fireworks. In all honesty, there was a very slim chance of the plan working, but I was so preoccupied with the end of the Universe that I didn't think too hard about it. Plus, I really didn't care about it in the first place.
Koizumi found me and filled me in on their plan for the event that things came to breaking point. Nagato and Kujo would hold off Ayumu with their powers, while Koizumi would deal with any new pocket dimensions, or "closed spaces", caused by Haruhi's emotional response to the events. It was here that I asked- exactly what were these events? Koizumi, as usual, offered no clear answer, simply describing them vaguely as involving "a massive energy outflow". It didn't really leave much to the imagination, and what it did leave was all negative. Nonetheless, I couldn't really do anything except wait and see what happened. I hate when that's the case.