A/N: I guess this is the chapter that everyone is waiting. Here it is! Your reviews have been so lovely, thanks everyone. Darling thanks you for betaread such a huge text in such a few time. And thank you for your support in all my writing adventures.
One month later
Ziva David was not a woman of patience. That had caused her some trouble - nothing she hadn't been able to get out of, though. But there was one situation that really got on her nerves.
- Antony DiNozzo, how much longer is it going to take you to pick a damn candy?
- I thought serenity was supposed to be an Asian trait.
- Guess what, I'm not Asian. I'm Middle Eastern. And I'm not too patient!
- Actually, if you look at an Atlas, you will see that Middle East is not a continent. Israel is… Asia.
- I'm sure you are not aware of the pain I'm capable of inflicting with this one dollar bill – Ziva jumped, trying to stop him from pressing the machine's button – You are not going to buy the last bar of diet chocolate!
- Going on a diet, Ziva?
- Struggling again? – sounded Gibbs' voice from behind them – You two are just like an old couple. Arguing over a candy bar…
- Kinda like you and the Director, Bo… ouch! I guess I shouldn't have said that – DiNozzo muttered, rubbing his head for the third time that day.
– Where's Probie, DiNozzo?
- Probieing around, probably.
- Let me guess. He's working on those reports while you two are having a break.
- Well…
- Reports on my desk by the end of the shift.
- Sure, Boss.
Gibbs proceeded on his interrupted path to the bullpen. The moment he was out of sight, Ziva turned back to Tony – Well, where were we… DiNozzo, look!
- What?
- He took our chocolate bar.
- No...! – Tony whirled around and slid his hand through the machine's wicket – He did! With my money! But I was just here, I should have seen him…
- But you did not.
- Neither did you. The Super-Mossad Agent let something pass right under her nose.
- Oh, shut up, DiNozzo. I still have that dollar bill, and I'm not afraid to use it.
Gibbs sat behind his desk, finished his chocolate bar and tossed the wrapper into the trashcan. He leaned back, musing what made DiNozzo and Ziva so fond of those sugar-free things.
- McGee?
- Yes, Boss?
- Abby needs you down there with her. Something about that new thing you made for her computer.
- Right, I'm just wrapping this up.
Gibbs signed some paperwork before leaving the bullpen again – I'll be upstairs in MTAC – he looked around for the rest of his team – Where's DiNozzo, Ziva?
- Privy – she answered, going back to her desk.
- You two make sure he finishes his report, I'm tired of hearing the Director complain that this team is always the last to deliver the paperwork.
- I'm here! – Tony appeared from the corridor – A guy can't take a damn leak in peace in this place…
Gibbs left his team arguing, as usual, and went up the stairs. The retinal scan that opened the doors of MTAC left him blinking. All that technology stuff was for McGee, not him.
The room was full, he could see that even in the usual darkness. Apart from the technicians, there were many men in sharp, expensive suits that practically screamed Politics sitting in front of the screen. They seemed to be watching a live transmission of some operation in the desert. A squad of marines was charging at some hidden place in the mountains. Probably Afghanistan, judging by the landscape.
He turned around and left. Today he really wasn't in the mood for politicians and anti-terrorism action overseas. His desk, full of paperwork as it was, looked much more attractive than a bunch of leeches wanting to shake his hand, give him their spiel, and trying to hit on Jenny just because she was the only female Director, so she was sure to be a whore.
Luckily, his team had shut up and were working. He couldn't see McGee but he remembered that Abby had called him. And his report was already on top of his desk, signed and ready.
It had been a quiet day. Maybe too quiet, he thought, looking at his agents. They were behaving more like children than ever, and only field work could solve that.
- Desk duty, Jethro?
He looked up into the face of Ducky, holding a smoking tea cup. Earl Grey with milk, he'd bet.
- Too quiet in the Autopsy, Duck?
- Well, a marine with a heart failure, a Petty Officer killed by his own wife, looks like she confessed everything, and a Lieutenant who couldn't hold his liquor. Yes, not a busy day. And it looks the same here…
- Yeah, and it's already like a kindergarten – Gibbs nodded towards DiNozzo, who'd just finished building a paper plane and was aiming it at McGee. DiNozzo threw it even as they watched, and flew straight and true all the way to McGee's neck.
- Oh, the youth – Ducky chuckled.
- Damn it, Tony, that thing was sharp!
- Wounded, Tiny Tim?
- No, but annoyed as hell!
Ducky took a sip from his tea – That red mark is going to take about two days to fade away.
- Probie can live with that.
- I've heard, or rather, Abby told me that it looks like half of the Senate is here today.
- Yeah, all locked up in MTAC.
The Scottish doctor took a look at his watch – Well, Palmer's had time to clean the autopsy room, I should go back before he gets too idle…
- Ok. See you later.
Gibbs turned back to his computer. He missed the days when they just wrote a few things down on paper and signed below. It was some time before he could take his eyes off the screen again.
Eventually, the bullpen was full of the sound of a herd walking out of MTAC, on the upper floor. Gibbs sank in his chair, trying to avoid being seen by all the politicians. His team did likewise. None of them was known for being a good spokesperson, and there was certainly some public officer in that herd they'd all pissed off. Each.
- Done, Boss! – Tony exclaimed from his desk – Here's all my paperwork – a few seconds later, Gibbs heard something being dropped on his desk – And the last one to finish is… Zee-vah!
- That's not fair!
- So what?
- I've never been that good with words.
- Yeah, we all know you prefer… action.
- DiNozzo, help Ziva finish her report.
The look in Tony's face was priceless – Boss!
- Now, DiNozzo. And when you're finished, get the hell out of my sight. All of you.
- Boss, I've finished all my work long ago, can I help Ziva too? – McGee asked.
- I don't need you both!
- Go, McGee.
- C'mon Ziva, we can always help you to improve your English – Tony dragged his chair all the way to Ziva's desk. She muttered something in Hebrew, and both men wisely decided not to ask her for a translation.
Ten minutes later, her report was on top of the pile on Gibbs's desk.
- See ya, Boss – Tony said, taking his coat off the back of his chair.
He nodded at him, then at McGee and Ziva as they said their goodbyes. When they left, the bullpen was full of sudden, immediate peace. There weren't many people left, and of those few, most looked about to leave as well.
- Bye, my silver fox! - said Abby, appearing seemingly out of nowhere and heading towards the lift, clad in her high boots and mini skirt. - I got sad today when I didn't see anything from your team to process.
- Bye, Abby.
He waited a few more minutes until it got really quiet. He took the pile of reports with him and went up the stairs, straight to the Director's office. Cynthia was already in her coat and handbag, closing the drawers of her desk.
- Special Agent Gibbs… I was about to call you.
- Really? Why?
- The Director wants to see you in her office.
- At this hour? Is she still there? – he was certain that she was about to have dinner with some Senator.
- She is. And you can hand those reports to her personally – Cynthia added when she saw him dropping the reports in her already immaculate desk.
- Ok. Bye - he took the pile back, pushed the door and entered, leaving Cynthia to shut down her computer.
He was surprised by how dark the room was. All the lights but the desk lamp were switched off. Jenny was sitting behind her desk, as usual, but something caught his attention. She wasn't doing anything. He had never seen her like that. No report on her hands, plasma screen off, no files or documents lying open on the desk. Nothing. She was just sitting there, staring.
- Jethro.
- Did you call for me?
- You know I did.
- Jenny, is everything alright? – he sat across her desk, worried. She was pale, much paler than usual, with dark circles around her eyes that the make-up couldn't hide anymore. No wonder that in that week he had asked her directly if she was ill
- Yes, it is – her gaze finally broke off of some point over his right shoulder and focused on him.
- Doesn't look like it. Did any of those Hill Leeches do anything? I saw them around in the MTAC today.
- No. And I'm more than used to their flirting. It's what you get when you are the only woman around these parts and your Agency is lying at the bottom of the budget chain. Did you see the operation?
- Barely. I left as soon as I got in.
- We captured Ali Hasan. The one who blow up that Marines' Camp last week.
- I bet the audience clapped and went "Hurray".
- Almost.
- Are you sure you're ok? I'm getting worried…
- Stop that, Jethro.
He observed her again, silently. Stubborn woman. She was obviously not all right. He'd thought that, after that night in his basement, they'd regained their old familiarity. And he was convinced, all through the following week, that there still might be something between them. But less than a month ago, Jenny had begun to push him away again, almost aggressively. Their arguments were worse than ever. She actively blocked him from getting information and pulled rank almost every day. And she looked like she literally wanted to kill herself working. He suspected that last night had been the first in the week in which she actually slept at home.
And then he'd catch her looking at him, hiding behind the balustrade or in the darkness of the MTAC. And when he did, he could tell how hurt and overworked she was. How alone she was, up there, above the rest. Now, with her sitting across him, he could see it all, wandering through her vague green eyes. The silence was getting overwhelming.
- Jethro, you miss your family too much.
Gibbs looked up at her. Her eyes were still on his. His face hardened. Why bring that up now? And after she had pushed him away, destroying the confidence that had made him share his family with her? She had no right to touch that subject now.
- Will you bring them back, Jenny? – he answered rudely.
- No. I will give you another child.
The words made him gasp. He stared at her, incredulous, astonished. How… there was that night in his basement, but they had barely touched each other, there was no way she could…
- What is going on here, Jenny?
- We are both adults, Jethro. Your child was taken away and it still haunts you. I can't ease your pain, but I can give you another child to bring you joy.
He still didn't believe she was actually saying those things – So… you are proposing that… we have a baby… together…?
- Yes.
- Have you gone insane? – he almost spat.
- No. Tell me a reason why we can't.
- Just one? I can tell you more than a dozen, the first one being that what we had ended nine years ago!
- I'm not asking you to marry me. Actually, I'm not asking you to have anything to do with me besides the conception.
- Oh I see. Should I take you right now, here on your desk?
- Jethro…
- Yeah, better not ask. You are not sane tonight, Jennifer Sheppard – he rose abruptly from his chair, but Jenny beat him to the door.
- Don't leave – she was blocking the door with her body.
- Get out of my way.
- Why are you so upset?
- You have to ask?
- All I did was propose. All you have to do is take it or leave it.
- I'm leaving it, isn't it obvious?
- Jethro, wait. I just want to help you.
- Help me? What kind of help is this?
- Sit down. We should talk.
- I don't want to talk, I want to go away.
- Sit down, Jethro. Give me a chance. We won't get anywhere if you're like this.
- Where do you want to get, Jen?
- Sit down – she said for the third time. His infuriated look pierced her, and for some time he didn't move. Eventually, Jenny moved away from the door. Her hand found the doorknob and she opened it.
He pulled it back, slamming the door shut – Very well. Explain yourself, Jennifer.
She nodded and walked away from the door. Instead of sitting behind her desk again, she went to the drinks cabinet and poured two glasses.
- Here – she put his glass in front of him and walked around the large desk, sitting across him. Now certain he wasn't going to snap at her again, she took a small sip, just to wet her dry mouth.
- You were happy once, Jethro. I know that, I've seen that. But now you are just a secluded, gloomy man, with nothing but a boat and old memories. I think I can bring happiness back into your life.
- What if I just want to stay like this?
- You can, of course. But you'll end up drowning in grief.
- You're so sure you know me deeply, aren't you?
- You know I do.
He drank most of his glass but remained in silence for some time – So, this is it? This is your proposal?
- Yes.
- Are you aware of what you're saying?
- I am.
- I don't think you are. You aren't aware of the responsibility. You have no clue what it means to raise a child. This is just your latest obsession.
- It isn't, Jethro. Trust me.
- Pick another man. I'm out.
- Do you have to be this stubborn? I don't want anyone else. I'm doing this for you, Jethro. I'm doing this so you can have someone to love again.
- If you weren't like this, Jenny, I'd already have all that. Without having to bring up an innocent child. If you weren't this crazy bitch that throws herself at my feet one day and pushes me away on the next, then maybe we could have a steady relationship.
- Until the day you found out that I wasn't Shannon and dumped me like you dumped your last three wives!
- I didn't dump you, did I? I stayed by your side longer than some of my marriages. You were the one who left. Because of the job. If you're lonely now, live with it. A child won't solve your problems.
Jenny was almost as infuriated as him now – Fine. Throw everything on my shoulder. It's easy, isn't it? It makes you feel like you're in control and doesn't let you see I'm just trying to help.
- Do you really believe it would help? – his voice sounded somewhat less harsh.
- I do, Jethro. I do. I've known it since the day you showed me the photos of your family. Give yourself another chance.
- This doesn't look like the proper way to do it.
- Forgot how it looks. I'm here, offering myself to you. Do you know how hard this is for me? To offer you my body and soul and then listen to one insult after another?
- And you think it's easy for me to have you sleeping under my arms one night and yelling at me the week after?
Her eyes wandered away – I know… I gave you a hard time, but my life's been… oh, forget it, you don't care about apologies. They're all weakness and zero sincerity for you. It's all nearly sorted out, you can be sure.
- What if I'm not? What if I accept this crazy proposal of yours and in six months time you change your mind and decide to take full custody of the child and don't let me see him? Or her?
- Jethro, I would never do that!
- How can I be sure?
- I thought you trusted me.
- I do. But this is just… too much. Too much to bear.
Jenny nodded silently. She'd said all she had to say. Unfortunately, there was nothing else she could do. It was his decision now.
- Jenny, I can't do this. I'm sorry.
- Fine.
- You sound hurt.
- I'm not.
- I can't do it like this. Call me old fashioned if you like, but I can't just have sex with you and quietly wait for nine months. There'd have to be more.
- What are you suggesting?
- Give ourselves another try. Fine, we don't have to look like teenagers pumped full of hormones walking around the building in each other's arms. That'd bring you severe problems with your image, anyway. No living together either, we both know that could ruin everything. Just try for the baby and live the experience together. And if everything else failed… always be there for him. No hate, no resentment. This is the only way I can do it.
Jenny listened to him carefully. She wasn't expecting that. And now she didn't know exactly what to say. In theory, it sounded great, but she had her doubts. Not to mention that that way would just make things much worse for her in the future… But now it was her only chance.
- Very well then. But Jethro… this way will require some… changes for us both. I hope you are aware of that.
- I am. Jenny?
- What?
- Why this all of a sudden?
Her hands tensed almost imperceptibly. That was the answer she couldn't give him. The only answer. But she could reply without telling it all.
- I saw how the McMillian case left you. I saw what you are not capable of telling anyone, not even yourself. And when you opened yourself to me and showed me your family… I made a decision.
He looked up, a question in his eyes – Have you been planning this all this time?
- Yes. More or less. I even stopped taking the birth control pill.
That surprised Gibbs even more – Jenny, this is…
- No need to say anything.
- But there is still one thing that bothers me… You never had any kids, and I'm sure it wasn't lack of men. It was because of your job. So why throw everything to the wind now that you are the Director? Three years ago you refused my advances, and now…
- I'm no longer the freshly-appointed Director. My position is established. I'm aware I'm going to face some small trouble, but nothing I can't solve or care about.
Gibbs' mind was racing so hard his head was throbbing. He wanted her to be as sure as she looked, but he still didn't believe that they were actually having that conversation.
- It's late – he said at last – And you look exhausted. And I don't know about you but after all this, I need to rest my head. I'm taking you home.
- No, better not.
- Why not?
- You need to be alone, I can tell that. I'm going to call my car. You can go home straight and… think.
- I don't know…
- I'm safe with them, Jethro.
- You are better with me.
Jenny rose from her chair – I would, probably. But there's no threat waiting for me on my way home, you know that. Rest, Jethro.
- But I'm going to escort you to your car.
- I'm ok with that.
He rose from his chair as well, but instead of going towards the door, he went around the desk and blocked her way.
- Jen?
- Yes?
- If we're really going to do all this, I want something from you – he grabbed her arm, brought her to him and pressed his lips against hers.
The moment he touched her, Jenny realised how hard everything was going to be for her. A small tear formed at the corner of her eye, but years of federal agent training stopped it before it managed to roll down. Knowing that she needed to forget all the rest and just let go, she kissed him back with fervour.
My happiness level rises every time I get a review