CHAPTER FIVE
'My Sarah Jane.'
Sarah woke up at the sound of her name being called. Not by just anyone, or just by the Doctor, but it was a voice she hadn't heard in a long time, the version of him that she travelled with for so long. She sat up and looked around the room, but wasn't surprised to find herself alone.
She slid out of bed and pulled on her robe and headed upstairs into the attic. She wasn't surprised to find him standing in front of the workbench, building something. As he heard her enter, he turned around and smiled. 'Morning.'
She returned his smile, but had to admit that the voice certainly didn't match the one that woke her from sleep.
As if he heard her thoughts, he thought for a moment. 'I guess this body does sound like it's from the north.'
'Lots of planets have a north,' she quipped.
He ignored her statement. 'Didn't expect you to be up yet,' he admitted.
'It's 3am, I'm always up at 3am,' she said sarcastically. He frowned at her, but she simply shrugged and walked over to stand next to him. She pointed at the hodgepodge in front of him. 'What's that you're working on?'
'It's been over a month since I arrived here.' He looked down at the device in his hand. 'With Gallifrey gone, I have to find a power source for the TARDIS. Provided she ever lets me back in. I'll use this to find it.' He sat the device down and turned to her, a serious expression on her face. 'I know what woke you up.'
She looked down as she felt a blush creep up her cheeks. 'Is that so?'
'I may have been projecting a bit strongly.' He quickly wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close. 'Remembering. About us. Back then. I was nervous.'
She let her arms wrap around him as she rested her head against his chest. 'You didn't seem nervous at the time.'
'You relax me, Sarah Jane.'
Without even seeing his face, Sarah could tell from his tone of voice that he was smiling. She closed her eyes as she felt the energy flow through her as they both began to share the memory.
..
Sarah took a deep breath and dove under the water of the TARDIS pool. She opened her eyes and looked through the crystal clear water. Being under water allowed her to think and to be. She wasn't running for her life, she wasn't going to be eaten by something lingering under the surface, she could just relax.
As she came up for air and stretched her muscles under the water, she noticed the Doctor reclining casually on one of the lounge chairs. He'd discarded his scarf, hat and coat in favour of just the tweed trousers and a button down shirt. 'I see you found the pool,' he said with a smile.
She swam towards the side of the pool closest to him and pulled herself up enough to cross her arms over the side. 'I figured since you never take me to the beach, I might as well still get in a swim.'
He tilted his head to one side as he looked at her. 'How'd you find it?'
'The TARDIS showed me. She's really good about that if I ask her nicely.' Sarah smiled. 'So, how are your repairs going? Did you get the Gulak oscillator fixed?'
He sat straight up sharply, then leaned in towards her. 'How did you know?' He threw his hand up before she had a chance to respond. 'No, don't tell me. The TARDIS.' His eyes narrowed. 'What did you do to her?'
'I didn't do anything,' she said defiantly. 'She volunteered the information, I wasn't exactly going to turn down the conversation once she started talking.' She smiled, a wicked gleam in her eye. 'And oh the stories she told me,' she laughed.
The Doctor threw himself back into the chair and crossed his arms. 'That's absolute rubbish. She wouldn't just start talking to a human without good reason.'
'Well, excuse me for being human!' Sarah reached down and playfully splashed out a handful of water in his direction. At his glare, she just stuck her tongue out at him, shrugged and turned and dove back into the water, intent on finishing her swim.
He watched her for a moment, but said nothing. As she came up for air, then went back under the water again, without giving him so much as a glance, he stood up. 'I'll fix you, Miss,' he said as he stalked off.
Sarah looked around as she came up for air yet again and shrugged absently when she realised the Doctor was nowhere to be seen. She began to float lazily on her back, just barely moving her arms to stay afloat. With her ears underwater and her eyes closed, she didn't see or hear the Doctor as he came back in, wearing only a black pair of swim trunks.
Smiling, the Doctor calculated his approach and promptly jumped in, cannonball style, causing a massive wave of water to wash over Sarah. With a jolt, she stood up, wiping the water from her face and looking around. She could see the Doctor's form swimming around her under the water, so she waited until he came up in front of her for air and instantly smacked him on the arm.
'What?' he said innocently. 'Turn about is fair play.'
She splashed him again with a smile. It quickly turned into a full out water fight, with each of them completely dousing the other, laughing the entire time. Sarah ducked under the deluge and swam into a deeper part of the pool before coming up and treading water.
The Doctor turned around and watched her. 'Too much for you?' he asked, a playful smile crossing his face as he pushed the hair away from his eyes.
'Not in the slightest,' she said, catching her breath. 'But without the benefit of a respiratory bypass system, I needed air.'
After taking a quick second to catch his own breath, he swam over to her, the height difference then allowing him to continue to stand, even if the water level was up to his chin. 'Of course, anything else and I'd think you had gills.'
She smiled, 'Nope, no gills here.'
They faced each other, not speaking as he stood still and she continued to tread water just in front of him. Looking into Sarah's eyes, the Doctor reached up and pushed away a section of hair that had fallen across her face and allowed his hand to rest against her cheek.
She turned into his touch, closing her eyes and relishing this unusual moment of closeness. With her eyes closed, she didn't anticipate his free arm wrapping around her waist and pulling her towards him. She inhaled sharply as she opened her eyes and saw her own intense look reflected back in his eyes. 'Sarah,' he said at just barely above a whisper, his tone a caress in and of itself.
As he ghosted his fingers along her cheek, she looked at him, her expression asking more than she could with words. At his easy smile, Sarah quickly relaxed and closed her eyes again as her breath increased at the intimacy of his touch. Wordlessly responding to him, she wrapped one arm across the top of his shoulder and around his neck. He leaned in, resting his head in the crook of her neck.
Sarah opened her eyes, a question beginning to form on her lips. It quickly disappeared as he began to kiss the tender skin just beneath her ear. Her eyes closed again as she tilted her head slightly to allow him better access as she reached up, tangling her fingers in his hair. Part of her wanted to talk to him to try to make sense of the situation, but the larger part just wanted to enjoy the feel of his caress. Unfortunately, logic kicked in and she pulled back, even though her fingers continued to trace small circles on the back of his neck. 'Doctor?'
He trailed tiny kisses along her shoulder and neck before pulling back and looking at her, the blue of his eyes almost completely hidden by black. The intensity of his gaze never wavered as he finally spoke. 'Do you trust me?'
'Always,' she responded instantly with a smile.
He reached up and caressed her cheek with one hand as the arm still around her waist lifted her up just above his eye line before he leaned in and kissed her. She hesitated for only a split second before allowing the intimacy of the moment guide her response.
When she finally had to break the kiss for sheer lack of air, he wrapped both arms around her and just held her close to him, not saying anything. She rested her head against one of his shoulders, enjoying the closeness between them as she wrapped one arm around his back and allowed the other to absently trace circles along his opposite shoulder.
..
Back in the attic, without explanation, the shared memory stopped as Sarah's legs gave out from underneath her. Fortunately, the Doctor was still holding her and easily caught her, holding her tightly to him. 'What happened?' she asked breathlessly.
He guided her towards the small sofa, sitting down and settling her into his lap. 'Sorry, Sarah, that was probably me.'
Sarah took a deep breath as she let her head fall back to rest on his shoulder. 'It's like every ounce of strength I had was pulled out of me in that one moment.'
The Doctor reached up and smoothed her hair soothingly. 'It's the imprint.'
Without lifting her head, she turned slightly to look at him. 'Why? It's never done that before.'
He reached up and ran the back of his fingers along her face. 'You were already exhausted. Besides, we're not the same as before.' He looked over and watched Sarah's eyelids get heavier. She tried to fight it, but he went back to stroking her hair. 'Shh, Sarah, sleep.' He watched as sleep overtook her, and only at that point did he release the breath he didn't know he'd been holding.
He carefully stood up and adjusted Sarah in his arms, holding her close to him as he made his way downstairs towards her bedroom. He placed her gently in the bed and after pondering for only the briefest of moments, he crossed around to the other side of the bed, lying down beside her.
Sarah roused almost instantly and turned towards him, reaching up to caress his face. 'You couldn't have done anything differently.'
'You should rest, your body is adjusting.'
She lifted her head and looked into his eyes. 'I know what happened.'
'The imprint synchronised my memories in your subconscious.'
She nodded slightly. 'I know.'
'Humans can't withstand the force of that much information flooding in at once.'
She smiled a slow easy smile as the exhaustion threatened to take over. 'Good thing I'm not your typical human.'
He smiled as she tried, but failed to suppress a yawn. She curled up against him and draped her arm across his chest. 'No, definitely not typical,' he said as he kissed the top of her head. 'That's why you're my Sarah.'
What Sarah neglected to tell him was that although their imprint allowed his memories of the Time War to flood into her subconscious, she'd already seen some of them before, so her adjustment period was less. It still had an effect on her body, due to the sheer force of his emotions and the freshness of the memories. It wasn't long before the comfort of having him cradle her body close to his allowed her to drift off into a contented sleep.
The sight of having Sarah asleep in his arms brought so many good memories to the surface for the Doctor. Their time together had never been dull. Even though they constantly bounced from adventure to adventure, he had long missed the days when after a harrowing and invariably always near death experience they'd run back to the TARDIS to recoup. He never needed as much sleep as she did, so he always relished the times where he got to simply hold her and watch her sleep.
If he allowed himself to admit it, the whole concept of her soothed him. While Sarah was always fantastic in a crisis, it was the peaceful moments like this, those quiet times where her life seemed so much more to him. He cared for his companions both before and after her, but she was different from all of them. Even from the very beginning, he'd known that his relationship with her would change him. He just never realised how much.
He thought about her reaction when he first asked her about the imprint. Their relationship was too important, and he never wanted to do anything to harm it. He knew that her reaction and ultimate response would either cement their relationship, or possibly destroy it. He pondered a long time before finally deciding that the possibility of her acceptance was worth the risk.
..
The Doctor loosened the scarf from around his neck, but didn't remove it as he sat in the chair opposite Sarah and finally spoke. 'There's something I've been meaning to discuss with you, Sarah.' She put down the book she'd been reading and lifted her head to look at him, waiting for him to continue. 'On Gallifrey, Time Lords elect to do what's called an imprint. Essentially it bonds two Time Lords together by overlaying past memories together literally imprinting one set of memories against the other. It also allows them to share memories going forward, even if they're not in the same location.'
He couldn't quite read the look on her face. It was almost a frown that she quickly controlled back into a neutral expression. 'So, you're saying everything we've done, you've shared with someone back on Gallifrey?' He recognised the tone as slight disgust and realised what she was thinking.
He shook his head quickly. 'No, no, of course not. I've never met anyone worthy of the imprint, although for most Time Lords it's normally done towards the end of their first incarnation.'
A relieved look settled on her face as she tilted her head slightly and smiled. 'First incarnation? You're running late.' At his glare, she wiped the smile from her face. 'Sorry. I know you're being serious. Go on.'
'I haven't exactly chosen to regenerate, Sarah, but that's beside the point. I've never been tied to Time Lord tradition, but I always hoped at some point that I would find someone suitable to share the imprint with.'
'You've always said that very few Time Lords left Gallifrey, so does that mean you'll have to go back?'
He sighed and bowed his head. 'No, you silly girl, I'm trying to ask you.'
'Oh.' Sarah paused before the words settled into her brain and she realised what he was asking. 'Me?' she questioned, just above a whisper, her voice tinged with something approaching awe. 'But I'm just a human.'
'You are no mere human, Sarah Jane Smith.' He took a deep breath. 'You're an extraordinary human.' He looked up and saw the shocked expression on her face. 'And that was not the way I ever thought I would ask.' He reached out and took her hands in his. 'Our friendship means a lot to me, Sarah. You're my best friend. The last thing I want to do is harm it, so I don't know if this would even be something you would entertain.'
She looked down at their joined hands. 'This means a lot to you, this imprint?'
He spoke softly, causing her to look up at him as he spoke. 'It's something a Time Lord does only once in all of their lives. It's a bond that makes it easier for Time Lords to stay together after regenerations, given all the personality and physical changes that occur.'
Their eyes locked as she weighed her next statement before speaking. 'But I'm not a Time Lord, I won't live as long as you or regenerate. How is that fair to you?'
He closed the distance between them by kneeling on the floor in front of her, putting them at the same eye level. He reached up and tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear, then allowed his hand to come to rest on her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. 'You're my choice, Sarah. I don't care what species you are.'
Sarah took a deep breath. 'I think I need to know more.' She paused as a smile crossed her features and she reached out and cupped his cheek with her hand. 'However, I imagine that no matter what you tell me, I'll agree.'
Before she could say anything else, the Doctor pulled her to him in a huge hug, holding her tightly.
..
The Doctor looked down at the sleeping Sarah still nestled in his embrace. He leaned down and kissed the top of her head lightly, then rested his head against hers. 'Still my choice, my Sarah,' he whispered.
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