Chapter Eighteen
Hatter sat out on the couch, staring at the wall. Alice was in the bedroom, packing her few belongings in her backpack and occasionally wiping away stray tears. Hatter hadn't talked to her for the last day and a half, ever since she told him she wanted to go home. He hadn't let Alice tend any of his wounds, nor had he touched her at all.
Jack had been more than accommodating, promising Alice passage through the Looking Glass whenever she was ready to go. Hatter had said nothing. Charlie had vigorously protested her leaving. Hatter had said nothing. It made Alice more eager to leave than she had been.
Alice zipped up her backpack and looked around. The bed sheets were still rumpled, and Hatter's dirty clothes were piled up near the door. This had been their home for only a short time, but she knew she was going to miss it. Even the stunning view of Wonderland City from the window next to the bed, which always made her feel a little dizzy.
"I'm ready," Alice said when she walked out to the living room. Hatter nodded and stood; he didn't look at her. Alice stooped to run her hand over the grass carpet and took in a shaky breath. Then she followed Hatter down the stairs. They didn't go through the club; Alice had already said her goodbyes there that morning. She just wanted to get to Looking Glass Hall.
She followed Hatter along the ledge. He walked stiffly, with none of his usual fluid grace, and Alice knew it was her fault. She'd tried explaining, tried talking to him, but he refused to listen. She tried one more time, talking to his back.
"I wish you would understand," Alice said. "I just need a little time. I need to be someplace…sane. This has all been too much."
Hatter seemed to hunch in on himself, as if her words were physically attacking him. And maybe they were. Her own chest felt hollow, as if her heart had been ripped out.
"I need to see my mom. I need to…to figure out…I don't know. I can't think here, Hatter." Alice brushed away more tears. She seemed to have an endless supply of them these days. "I don't want to leave you, I don't. I just need some time."
Hatter said nothing, just kept walking, and Alice sighed in defeat. Why couldn't he understand? She didn't want to be the Alice of Legend – look at all that trouble that had come from it. Hatter had almost killed Dodo. The men who had followed her on her rescue mission had been injured and could have been killed. Especially Toby, who was only a boy. A rescue mission that wouldn't have had to take place if Alice had just been straight with Hatter.
She needed to get away from Wonderland, and from her own guilt.
All too soon they arrived at Looking Glass Hall. Alice went through the revolving door first and paused a moment to look at the Glass and recall the last time she had faced it. She'd been leaving Hatter then too.
"Lady Alice!" Toby came hurrying across the room and bowed. "I've come to see you safely on your way."
Alice smiled at him gratefully. "Thanks, Toby. I'm glad you're here."
"Sir Charles was too upset to be here himself, but he sends his wishes for a safe journey."
More guilt. Poor Charlie had wanted her to stay, had offered her a place at the Kingdom of the Knights and a job training his troops in martial arts. But he'd understood why she needed to leave. She wished he'd come to say goodbye.
A technician wearing a plastic lab coat approached from the Looking Glass computer. "We're ready when you are."
Alice turned to face Hatter, who was looking down at the floor. His whole body sagged; he looked defeated. Alice put her hand on his cheek.
"I'll be back, Hatter. I promise." She leaned forward to press a kiss to his lips. "I love you."
She may as well have been talking to a statue. Alice's eyes welled with tears, but when she turned away Hatter grabbed her arm. He reached into his pocket and took something out, placing it in the palm of her hand. It was her engagement ring.
Alice looked up at Hatter, but he'd turned his head away. She didn't know how he'd found the ring, or when, but she was so grateful to have it back. She closed her fingers around it tightly.
"Thank you," she said softly. Hatter said nothing.
Alice hurried over to the Glass. She went up the few steps to the platform, watching the Glass ripple and distort her reflection. Standing right in front of it as she was, she didn't see Hatter drop to his knees behind her. She didn't see him look at her with his eyes full of pain and tears.
Taking a deep breath, Alice stepped through the Glass and was gone.
*o*o*o*
Alice was gone for nine excruciatingly long days.
*o*o*o*
Alice hurried along the ledge as quickly as she could, Len following close behind her. She had spent two miserable days in their New York apartment, surrounded by Hatter's things and her memories of all they'd shared there together. Instead of clearing her mind and finding some sanity, she only got depressed. On the third day she'd decided enough was enough, and started making arrangements to return to Wonderland. Permanently.
She knew she had a lot to make up for, and she'd probably never finish apologizing to Hatter for what she'd put him through. If he'd still have her. That was the fear that plagued her for the week it took to take care of things, to pack up their lives and put it all into storage. What if she'd hurt him so badly he wouldn't have her back? A part of her had spent that week waiting for him to come through the door, waiting for him to follow her as he'd done the last time. But he hadn't.
When the club came into view, Alice's steps faltered. What if he wasn't happy to see her? What if she'd made another huge mistake?
"Lady Alice?" Len stood beside her. He'd been a big sport, carrying the fish bowl all the way.
"What if I'm wrong?" she whispered.
"It's not my place to say," Len replied. "But you two are meant to be together."
Alice shot him a grateful look. She took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. There was no sense in denying it. She was the Alice of Legend, and she would face what must be faced. She strode purposefully across the pavement bridge and up the steps of the porch. No turning back now.
Although it was still quite early in the day, Hatter's was doing a brisk business. Most of the patrons seemed to be drinking tea, and there was a table along the wall piled high with baked goods. Dormie sat in a chair near the entrance, snoring loudly.
"Dormie!" Alice kicked his chair. "Wake up!"
Dormie spluttered and rubbed his arm over his eyes. "What? Oh, Alice! You're back! Are you back?"
"Yes," Alice said. And it was true. Even if Hatter didn't want to be with her, she was back. "Where's Hatter?"
"Inventory." Dormie jerked his thumb at the bar. "He'll be glad…"
Just like that, Dormie fell back asleep. Alice rolled her eyes and made her way to the bar. Several people stopped her along the way to say hello or welcome her back. Stork waved to her from the far end of the bar and she waved back with a grin. She never thought she'd feel quite so much at home here in Wonderland, but she did. For the first time she considered that maybe once Jack had the inoculation ready, she and Hatter could split their time between New York and Wonderland.
"Set Charlie down here," Alice said to Len, indicating the end of the bar. The Ace set down the fish bowl containing the little goldfish. "I'll be fine. Why don't you get something to eat?"
Len nodded and walked away. Alice went around the bar to the door that led to the storage room. It was open just a crack, and she slipped in as quietly as she could.
Hatter's back was to her; he was counting bottles on a tall wooden shelf. God, how she had missed him! She watched him for a moment, admiring the way his lean muscles moved beneath his bright blue silk shirt. He had his old brown porkpie on his head and his hair was in the usual state of disarray.
"Buy a girl a drink?" Alice asked, shutting the door behind her. Hatter whirled around, his eyes wide. They just looked at each other for a long minute, and then Hatter went back to his inventory.
"Hatter."
"Why are you here?" Hatter asked. His voice was tight and hard, and Alice winced.
"I told you I'd be back. I just needed to clear my head." Alice leaned against the door and crossed her arms in front of her chest.
"We already said goodbye. You didn't need to come back and say it again." Hatter stopped counting and just stood there, facing away from her.
"I sublet our apartment," Alice said. "All of our things are in storage. I didn't know if you wanted anything, but I brought a box back with me. I'll keep it if you don't want it."
She'd brought back pictures, mostly. Some clothes and books, his favorite tea cup. Her trip through the Glass hadn't been quite so rocky this last time; she felt she was maybe getting the hang of it. She still couldn't just walk through, like the White Rabbit did, but at least she wasn't knocking herself cold.
"Moving back with your mum, then?" Hatter asked, as if he didn't care.
"No. If you don't…want me, then I'll be moving in with Charlie."
That got Hatter's attention. He turned to her, his eyes narrowed.
"Charlie?"
"He's offered me a place at the Kingdom of the Knights. It's a bit more country than I care for, but he was nice to offer."
"You'll be staying, then?" Hatter asked softly.
"If you're in Wonderland, than so am I," Alice replied. "I love you, Hatter. And even if we can't be together, I'll at least be nearby. In case you need rescuing."
"This is still a dangerous place, Alice. Dodo isn't the only enemy I've made over the years."
Alice could hear the yearning in Hatter's voice, even as his words were trying to convince her otherwise. She crossed the small space until she was standing right in front of him.
"If we stay together, if we stay a team, it won't matter." Alice put her hands on his arms. "No secrets this time. And no running off into dangerous situations. We work together, Hatter. It's the only way we can make this work."
"I almost lost you," Hatter murmured. And he finally let down his guard; let Alice see the pain and sorrow he'd been keeping in. Her own eyes filled with tears.
"I'm so sorry, Hatter. I know I have a lot to make up for…"
"Alice. Are you sure? Are you sure about staying here? No doubts?"
Alice looked into Hatter's warm brown eyes. "Wonderland needs a Hatter. And every Hatter needs an Alice. No doubts."
Hatter pulled her into his arms then, crushing her against him. He peppered her face with kisses. Alice felt a wave of relief wash over her and she hugged him back. She'd made the right choice. She hadn't ruined things completely.
"I love you, Alice," Hatter murmured in her ear. "So much it hurts me sometimes."
"I'll kiss it better," Alice said. She captured Hatter's mouth with her own, and kissed him long and hard. When they finally broke apart, panting, Alice felt as if she'd been completely husked out; she felt clean and whole again.
"Do you have to finish this inventory?" Alice asked.
"Have something in mind, love?" Hatter gave her a lusty grin. Alice returned it with one of her own.
"Yeah, but that'll have to wait. How about I take you to lunch?"
Alice took Hatter's hand and pulled him out of the store room. When he saw the goldfish bowl on the bar, he stopped and laughed.
"Charlie!"
"I couldn't leave him behind," Alice said with a grin. She gave his hand another tug to get him moving again, and nodded at Len when he joined them at a discreet distance. Having a bodyguard was something she'd once have been annoyed with, but now she found she didn't mind it so much.
"So where are we going?" Hatter asked as they stepped out onto the porch.
"We're going to the Palace, to lunch with the King."
Hatter stopped again. "Jack? Why do I want to have lunch with Jack?"
"Oh, believe me. He'll be on his best behavior," Alice said with a smirk. "You should have heard the tongue lashing my mother gave him."
"Carol's here?" Hatter gave her an incredulous stare. "Why is Carol here?"
Alice faked a pout. "She's my mother, Hatter. Why wouldn't she be here?"
"Here. In Wonderland. Is she staying?"
"Only long enough for the wedding," Alice said brightly. She let go of Hatter's hand and practically skipped down the steps to the pavement bridge. "We'd better go. I'm not sure how much of Charlie's fawning she'll be able to take."
Hatter quickly caught up to her. "What wedding? Is Jack finally marrying, then?"
Alice laughed. "Don't be silly, Hatter. Why would Mom care about Jack's wedding?"
"Well, who's getting married?"
"We are, of course."
AN: Bet I had you worried there for a while! But of course Alice couldn't leave Hatter behind. She was just overwhelmed and needed to collect her thoughts. And for those of you who worried about the fate of Charlie the Goldfish, now you know he'll be well looked after.
One more chapter to go, faithful readers, before we close the book on this story. Fear not, though, because another adventure won't be too far away for Hatter and Alice!