A/N: Plato's letter was greatly inspired by the song 'Someday You Will Be Loved' by Death Cab for Cutie.

Forever Until Now

Chapter 10;; Forever's End

So I'm giving you, you and your beauty all up. See what a sacrifice I'm making? One day, when you find true love, you'll thank me.

It was when Etcetera first saw Victoria that she realized that something was wrong. Very wrong. "Heaviside," she hissed. "What on earth did Macavity do?"

Victoria stumbled into the Junkyard, her fur unusually scruffy. It was as if she had just been sleeping in a pile of dirt, but Victoria never let herself get dirty, especially not in front of other cats. Already, she'd drawn a lot of attention to herself. Etcetera could see Jemima and Electra sitting together, just gaping at the white queen. Misto, Tumblebrutus and Pouncival noticed her, and for once they weren't staring at her in appreciation of her beauty. She looked a lot like Bombalurina did after her late nights out. Is she high on catnip or something? Etcetera wondered. She sure looks it.

"Vicki!" Misto was the first to actually approach her. The rest of the Jellicles hung back, unsure of what to do. "Are… are you okay?"

"Oh, Misto." Victoria swayed unsteadily, and gave Misto a bleary-eyed smile. "Gosh, I feel… like I've been run over or something." Her smile faded then, and she narrowed her eyes in concentration. Etcetera could only stare with wide eyes as Victoria thought hard. "Wow, Misto… where have I been the past day? Do you know? Gosh, I don't know." She began to laugh then, an awful, hysterical laugh that made Etcetera's fur stand up on end.

"I don't think you're okay," Misto said seriously, leaning forward to support her. She looked as if she was about to tip over at any second. She beamed at him.

"Hey, thanks Misto. I really need that. I'm feeling awfully dizzy…"

"What on earth have you been doing, Vicki?" Misto asked her, eyes concerned. He wrapped an arm around her. "Come on, sit down. You shouldn't be standing in this state." Victoria nodded, collapsing to the ground in a very ungraceful manner. It was a very unusual sight to see her so uncoordinated.

"I dunno. Maybe. It's all a blur." Victoria's lips pulled up in a tiny smile. "I feel happy, but I feel awful at the same time. Misto, is that normal?"

"I think you've been on catnip," Misto sighed.

"About time you started living life to the fullest!" Tugger yelled. Jellylorum, who had been frozen until that moment, slapped him and stalked over to where Misto and Victoria were sitting.

"Victoria! I never thought…" She trailed off, her eyes filled with fury and disappointment. Victoria cringed.

"Mom! I can't remember anything! I don't think I've ever gone anywhere near catnip!" she protested, eyes wide. "I can't get a hold on my memories, is all."

"I'm so disappointed in you," Jellylorum snarled, practically ignoring Victoria's protests. "I thought you were going to grow up to be the most respectable queen we Jellicles ever saw…but I guess I was wrong. Get yourself cleaned up at once. I don't want to see you like this ever again. Do you understand?"

Victoria stared downwards, distraught. It was the most pitiful spectacle Etcetera had ever seen. "Yes, mom," Victoria sniffed. Jellylorum glared at her, and then stormed into her den. One by one, the Jellicles turned away, not wanting to embarrass the poor white queen any further. Only her friends continued watching, sympathy written all over their faces. Strangely, Etcetera wanted to help, but she didn't know if her sister would accept her anymore.

I don't know why I did what I did to her, Etcetera thought helplessly. But I would've left her alone if I'd foreseen this.

"Shh, Vicki. It's okay." Misto let Victoria bury her face into his shoulder, and with a sharp pang of pity, Etcetera realized that her sister was crying.

Victoria never cried. Never.

Etcetera felt her own eyes stinging. Not that Etcetera crying was all that unusual. But Victoria was meant to be the role model – the one who was strong, perfect, beautiful… she was none of that at the moment.

"Misto," Victoria sobbed. "Misto, I didn't want to do anything wrong… I don't think I've ever touched the tiniest bit of catnip, but what other explanation is there? Everlasting Cat, please don't tell me I'm ruined… please don't tell me everyone hates me."

An odd look appeared on Misto's face. "Vicki… no one could hate you. They're just disappointed."

Victoria wailed into Misto's chest fur, the sound muffled. "Does my breath stink, Misto? Do I smell like I've been on the nip? Do I look terrible?"

Misto sniffed her breath, and his eyes widened in surprise. "Your breath is fine, Vicki," he told her. "And you're a bit dirty, but… you can fix that, right?"

Victoria gave him a wobbly smile. "So do you know what I've been doing?" she asked him, her eyes pleading. He shook his head at her.

"No… but there must be some sort of other explanation."

By that time, Jemima and Electra had approached the pair. Misto glanced up at them, a protective look burning in his eyes. It took him a few moments to relax and let the two queens come closer.

"Vicki, are you okay?" Jemima asked, bending down to look into her friend's eyes.

"I feel like shit," Victoria moaned miserably. If Mom had heard that… Etcetera thought to herself. "Jemi… have you seen Plato?"

Jemima shared a worried look with Electra. "No… the last time I saw him, he was with you," she told Victoria gently.

"He was?" A bewildered look clouded Victoria's eyes. "Heaviside, I can't even remember that…"

"Oh!" Misto jerked up suddenly, startling all three queens. "Everlasting Cat, no… I don't believe it…"

"What, Misto?" Electra asked, mystified. Misto just shook his head at her.

"No… I refuse to believe he'd do that… not to you…" Misto glanced down at Victoria, his eyes filling with anger. "Vicki… have you noticed anything strange about Plato?" he asked her gently.

But she gave no response. She let out a little gasp, and her eyes went blank as she slumped limply in Misto's arms.

"Oh crap, oh crap," Misto swore. Jemima gave him a chastising look and returned to meticulously cleaning Victoria's fur. Etcetera hung around awkwardly at the entrance to Victoria's den, and Electra was out searching for extra blankets.

Victoria herself was unconscious, and had been for quite a while. Her friends had considered dumping cold water on her face, but they knew that her reaction wouldn't be worth it. She looked strangely peaceful, but she was cold. Really cold. Whenever Jemima placed a paw on Victoria's forehead, she'd feel chills running up her arm.

"Is she sick?" Etcetera whispered finally. She was surprised at herself for being so concerned – then again, she really had no reason to hate her sister. She felt as if she'd woken up from a terrible dream, a dream where she couldn't trust anyone, least of all Victoria. Heaviside, have I been ridiculous.

"I don't know," Jemima said helplessly. "I'm just trying to clean her up before Jellylorum gets on her case."

"Maybe I should go fetch her…" Etcetera began. Misto shook his head.

"You saw how pissed she was," he warned. "She'll just say that Vicki deserves what she's going through right now."

"What is she going through?" Etcetera asked anxiously. "I know that this isn't the aftereffects of catnip. This is different."

"How do you know?" Jemima's voice was wary.

"Don't look at me like that," Etcetera sighed. "I often see Bomba and Tugs high on catnip. It's not like this."

All three cats gazed helplessly into Victoria's face. Despite her terrible coldness, she looked…happy. Her lips were curved upwards into a smile. But why? Etcetera wondered. How can she smile through all this?

"Plato…" Victoria breathed. She was back in the white, snow-covered Junkyard – it was freezing, and she felt chilled to the bone, but it was worth the stunning beauty of the snow… and of Plato. His back was turned to her, but it only made her admire his physique, his tall stature. She smiled, knowing that he was about to turn and face her.

But when he glanced over his shoulder at her, his expression was sad. This didn't deter her – her surroundings were so beautiful she couldn't help but feel completely at peace. "Victoria," he stated, his voice emotionless.

"I'm so happy to see you," Victoria said, bouncing on her heels. "And I'm so happy to be here again…" She trailed off. "I've been here before, haven't I? You were here too… and something happened."

"Yeah, something like that," Plato said listlessly. Victoria frowned a little, perturbed by his strange attitude.

"Do you remember?" she asked him.

"Yes, I do," he said, his eyes still devoid of emotion. Victoria waited expectantly.

"Well? What happened?" she prompted when he didn't say anything. He laughed, but the laugh was a cold, emotionless laugh that was very unlike him. Victoria felt chills running down her spine, and it wasn't from the cold.

"A lot of things happened," he shrugged. "But do they really matter?"

"Yes… I'd like to know," Victoria said quietly, cautiously.

"I'm sure you would… but does that mean I have to tell you?"

"What's wrong, Plato?" Victoria definitely noticed that there was something strange about Plato now. He smiled bitterly at her. She gazed into his eyes, concerned… and gasped at what she saw. There was nothing warm or beautiful about his eyes at that moment. She didn't sink into paradise the way she had expected to – the way she always did. His eyes were cold, and they were almost warning her to step away. But she didn't. She couldn't. Not Plato. She was really worried now.

"There's nothing wrong, Victoria," he said nonchalantly.

"I don't believe that."

"Feel free to think what you want."

"Plato…" Victoria gazed at him with her most pleading look. That look had never failed her – but all it did to Plato was make him laugh. "Plato, are you angry at me?"

"Angry…? No." Plato smiled, but the smile was colder than the snow that Victoria was standing in. Trembling, she turned away. Suddenly, the beauty of her surroundings didn't matter. Nothing mattered if Plato was going to look at her with such uncaring eyes. Nothing.

"Plato, I-"

"Oh, just be quiet." The sharp irritation in his voice was like daggers stabbing into Victoria's heart. She flinched, and she felt tears pricking in her eyes. All her life, she'd managed to hold back from crying… and now she was crying twice in one day. The tears rolled down her cheeks like liquid crystals, but Plato never even turned around to comfort her.

"She's crying."

"What's going on?"

Jemima, Etcetera, Electra and Misto were all gathered close around Victoria. The tears were spilling uncontrollably out from under her closed eyelids. No longer did she look at peace – she looked devastated.

"Something's wrong…" Etcetera whispered, eyes wide.

"You never expected this, did you, little Victoria?" A new voice startled Victoria out of her misery. Plato didn't even seem to notice. It was Macavity, his red shape stalking through the snow towards her. Victoria stared at him, bewildered. Her thoughts on him were muddled – she had the vague impression that she knew him, but her mind was telling her that she'd never spoken to him before.

"Expected what?" she asked cautiously.

"What's happening right now," Macavity smirked. "You never expected precious Plato to act this way, if I'm correct."

Victoria cringed away from him. "Shut up!"

"Now, don't be that way…"

"Just go away!" Victoria threw herself into the snow, gasping at the utter frostiness of it. She clapped her paws over her eyes and ears, but it only succeeding in muffling Macavity's terrible laughter.

"This was inevitable, you know," he smiled cruelly. "Aren't I right… Plato?" At the mention of Plato's name, Victoria uncurled and stared up at him pleadingly. He regarded her thoughtfully.

"I suppose so, Macavity," he said finally. Victoria let out a pitiful wail.

"Why Plato? Just why?"

"Do I need a reason?"

Victoria stood up and slunk towards him. He didn't move away, but he didn't move towards her either. She rested a paw on his cheek, and stared into his eyes, all the while holding back tears. He stared back levelly.

"You promised me," Victoria choked out. "You promised me…" She couldn't hold back the tears now. It was like she had an everlasting supply. But upon thinking of those memories…

"You're wrong. There's no one like you," he breathed, cradling her in his powerful arms. She closed her eyes. She knew she had to be dreaming. Bliss like that was impossible. But it was real. He really was holding her, and he really was telling her how beautiful she was.

"Don't ever leave," she murmured, her eyes flashing open. They were beseeching, and completely alluring to Plato.

"I won't," he promised, squeezing her paw. "I'll stay beside you for always, Victoria."

"Forever?" she smiled tentatively, leaning into him.

"Of course," he pledged. "I'll stay with you forever. Even when we die and find whatever awaits us in death, I'll follow you. We'll be together."

Victoria sighed blissfully. "Forever."

"You promised me that you would stay by me forever," she sobbed, breaking down now, her paw falling from his cheek. "Nothing's changed… right?"

Plato raised his eyes indifferently. "I suppose… that maybe this is the end of that particular forever." He smiled gently, and stood back as Victoria fell. She fell away from the beautiful white world, away from the place where her forever had ended. Macavity's laughter rang in her ears as she choked soundlessly, knowing, hoping, wishing that what was happening to her wasn't real. It couldn't be real… it was impossible… the love in Plato's eyes had been real. But no longer… It was over.

"Victoria?"

She refused to open her eyes. She told herself, that's Plato. That's Plato calling me. Yet already, the details of the dream were fading. She clung to them, but in the end, all that remained was that hollow, hopeless feeling, and the tears that still escaped from under her eyelashes.

"Victoria…are you awake?" Reluctantly, Victoria opened her eyes. It took her a few moments to register that the cat beside her was Misto, not Plato. Sighing, she let out one last, choked sob.

"Were you dreaming, Vicki?" Misto's eyes were filled with concern. She nodded silently, but when he tilted his head inquiringly, she shook her head. She couldn't remember the details anymore, only that it had been a terrible, terrible dream.

Victoria sat up, breathing heavily. Misto rushed forward to support her, and Jemima hurried around to sit by her side. Looking around, Victoria realized that Etcetera was sitting by the entrance of the den, a note held in her paws. Turning around, her eyes lowered to the ground, she said, "Vicki, I think this is for you."

She's speaking to me? But Victoria had no time to contemplate her issues with Etcetera, because just then, the note was thrust into her paws. As she recognized the handwriting with a sinking feeling, she waved the other cats out of her den. They left reluctantly, and the feeling that she was completely without a friend in the world descended upon Victoria as she began to read.

Victoria.

I'm sure you know it's me, so I'm not going to bother with pleasantries.

This isn't a love letter. That's just a warning.

Victoria gulped. "I figured," she whispered. She could almost hear Plato speaking the words written on the letter, his voice cold.

This is a letter to tell you that I no longer love you. I'm sorry. Don't blame me – all love fades eventually. Mine has, and I know that yours will too, eventually. I know that you might feel heartbroken reading these words, but it won't last forever. Trust me. I'm nothing special, and if I kept deluding you with illusions of love, it would just make everything worse. Victoria, I'm doing the right thing. Don't condemn me for it.

Victoria wasn't crying. She had no more tears to cry. Instead, she sat silently, her heart thumping unpleasantly in her chest.

I know I promised you an eternity of my love. That was stupid of me. I don't usually make promises that I cannot keep, and I've betrayed you. But I don't want you to hurt. Doing this… is all for the best.

"No, no it's not…"

You and I just have to accept that there's truer love waiting out there for both of us. Already, I have my eyes on another. Please don't hate her for capturing my eye. She isn't to blame.

Victoria's stomach clenched painfully.

Like I said before… you'll find better love. You're beautiful, Victoria. That's undeniable. Your fur, like newly fallen snow, your eyes, like sapphires. Your beauty is an honest one. I'm sorry to have broken a beautiful cat like you, but no doubt your cold beauty will attract another tom before long.

"Beauty doesn't matter…not without you…"

I'm sorry to have fled with a simple note. But it's far easier this way. Having to face you, to see your crying face… well, you see, that could end quite badly. Don't seek me out. I don't want to hear your pleading, because I can't pretend that I feel more than an inkling of regret. Your broken heart…it'll eventually mend. I may have caused you damage, but you're strong. You'll get over it.

"I won't, I can't…"

Victoria…someday, you'll experience true love. You'll be loved by someone who can truly care for you forever. You'll love with such passion that your heart will burn as if on fire. Memories of me… they'll fade. One day, I'll just be a bad dream that never really occurred, a blur. That day, you'll realize that you and I… that was just a mistake. You'll understand then, I promise.

"How can I understand…?"

And you may feel alone right now. Hell, I can almost guarantee that you're devastated, and I don't blame you for the tears you might cry at the very thought of me. But your heart doesn't belong to me, and I have no right to play with you like this. So I'm giving you, you and your beauty all up. See what a sacrifice I'm making? One day, when you find true love, you'll thank me.

Again: I'm sorry.

P.

"This can't be happening…" Victoria whispered. She stared at the note, the words blurring before her eyes. She clutched it tightly in her paw, not sure whether or not to rip it in half or hold it to her pounding heart.

"What…what happened to forever?"