Story Thus Far: From the top! Tsuna was thrust into the madararui world, told he was to be a mafia boss, that he had to pass a test or be stolen away by the government, and that he had to give birth to a stranger's kid. Along with that, he's also gained Yamamoto as a friend, almost had Ryohei pounce on him after the boy used some odd madararui move on him, had Hibari Kyoya want him, and he's gained a right-hand man for his mafia crew! Most hilarious part about all this? Tsuna thinks it can't get any worse…
Suddenly, the group that Tsuna would walk home with became bigger. Yamamoto, Ryohei, Gokudera, and Lambo were all at his side now. Tsuna was amazed that this being a retrograde thing made him so popular.
"It really shocked me." Yamamoto said with bandages all over his body. "Tsuna opens the door, sees what's going on, and immediately tells me to stop Hibari. At first, I was a bit scared to do it especially since the person we were helping was an asshole, but then I saw the resolve on Tsuna's face and couldn't help but go for it." Gokudera bristled at the asshole comment.
Ryohei was in a bad condition as well, bandages coating not only his nose. "We got beat up to the extreme! What am I going to tell Kyoko?"
Gokudera scoffed. "Say that you were sumo wrestling or something…"
"Okay." Ryohei replied simply.
"You're… an idiot." Gokudera said staring at Ryohei with a blank face.
"What was that, Octopus head?" Ryohei snarled.
"Don't call me that, Lawn head!" Gokudera snapped.
The two glared at each other. Yamamoto laughed and rested a hand on Gokudera's head. "You're really something! Always going against those stronger than you!"
"Don't touch me!" Gokudera said, swatting Yamamoto's hand away.
"Gokudera-kun," Tsuna said. "Please try to get along with everyone else a little better, okay?"
Gokudera smiled brightly and his ears popped out of his head. "Yes, Tenth!"
"He so boldly changes his attitude with Tsuna." Yamamoto noted with annoyance in his voice. He pinched one the silver ears poking through Gokudera's hair. "Ah, some of his soul's shape came out. Could it be he has a crush on Tsuna? What happened with you two when you were alone?"
Gokudera hissed and glowered at Yamamoto making the taller boy chuckle.
Tsuna sighed. "Maybe they're getting along in their own way, right, Lambo-kun?" He looked to Lambo who was staring off into the distance. "Are you okay, Lambo-kun?"
Lambo appeared startled to hear his name then looked at Tsuna and nodded. "Uh, yeah."
"Your injuries from Gokudera-kun don't hurt, do they?"
"Barely. He didn't really hit that hard. It definitely could've been worse. He's had more damaging fits." He looked over the scratches and bruises. He would have to tell Dino that he had fallen during P.E. or something.
"Though I don't think Gokudera-kun reacted properly, I also don't think it was right for you and Dino-san to keep something from him. He sees you guys as family."
"…I know."
"You should talk with him and ask ―Ah! Dino-san! Ah! The guy with the hat! I forgot all about those two! They're probably still at my house! Eep! I don't want to listen to them talk about weird mafia, test, and seducing things!"
"About that, Vongola, please do well in giving birth to Dino's child."
"Don't call me 'Vongola' so early on!"
"And don't," Ryohei butted in. "Say something like Tsuna is going to have that guy's kid so easily!"
"But he has to." Lambo said. "It would be wrong if he didn't."
"Who are you to say that?" Yamamoto said. "Poor Tsuna. His life is getting dictated by everyone else."
Tsuna hugged Yamamoto with tears of joy running down his cheeks. "At least Yamamoto understands."
Ryohei and Gokudera both eagerly pried the two apart.
"Honey, you're home!" Dino said gladly while wearing an apron and cooking dinner by Tsuna's mama's side. Dino kissed Tsuna on the forehead and went on to say, "Your mother and I were just getting dinner started. Go wash up first if you'd like."
The group that had just entered the house all felt as though they just died. 'What the hell?' They all thought.
Nana giggled. "Isn't this man charming, Tsuna? I like him! He knows how to cook too! Maybe he'd like to become your big brother?"
Dino's cheeks tinted pink, feigning an innocent embarrassment. "Oh, Maman, stop. You're embarrassing me."
"Maman," Reborn said. "You can't distract that idiot while he's cooking, he's really slow!"
Nana tittered and nodded. "Oh, you're right, you're right!"
Dino narrowed his eyes at Reborn. "What a cruel thing to say, Reborn!"
Reborn tossed a knife at Dino's head, and the man barely evaded it. "Shut up," The brunette sneered. "And keep cooking."
"Fine, just don't throw anymore utensils at me! You made me cut myself!" Dino barked, looking a gash on his palm.
Reborn threw a fork this time, which Dino clumsily side-stepped. "Shut it, Cavallone."
None of the schoolboys knew quite what to say. That was surely one of the less noisy and definitely less violent quarrels that often erupted among heavy-seeds.
"Caiossu, retrograde," Reborn called out to Tsuna. "Come here."
Hesitantly, Tsuna approached the man. Out of the blue, Reborn pulled out a gun and put it to Tsuna's head then sang, "Pop quiz!" Clearly, Tsuna had good reason to be hesitant.
"What kind of weird pop quiz?" Gokudera hollered, all the school kids bristling at the sudden threat of the weapon's presence.
"What is a madararui?" Reborn asked.
"A human whose ancestry evolved from an animal other than monkeys?" Tsuna said quickly, unsure.
"Good, good. Name the different soul shapes."
"N-Nekomata, Inujinnin, Mizuchi, Jyanome, Mermaid, and Kumakashi!"
"Name the different strength levels in order of strongest to weakest."
"Heavy-seed, middle-seed, light-seed!"
"Now name them in order of the one with the lowest reproduction level to highest."
"Heavy-seed, middle-seed, light-seed!"
"Heh heh, good. You caught that. Tell me this: what is the ratio of Ape-men to madararui?"
"7 to 3! Ape-men make up 70% of the population, right?"
"Right. What is a Soul's Appearance?"
"Soul's Appearance is when the soul shape and physical body switch places, isn't it?"
"It is. Now, what is my name?"
"What?"
"Wrong! Bang!"
At this shout, Tsuna fainted from fear, those letting his Soul's Appearance out with his eyes in swirls. Reborn clicked his tongue three times while shaking his head. "It doesn't matter how much he knows if he can't control his soul." He then put the gun away.
"Tsuna!" Yamamoto gasped.
"Tenth!" Gokudera said, going to Tsuna's side and picking him up by the fur on his neck. "Ew, what the fuck?"
"That's Tsuna's Soul's Appearance." Reborn said.
Gokudera cradled Tsuna and mumbled. "I guess he's kind of cute. What is it? A tarsier with a mane?" He pet the primate-feline mix that was curled into his grasp.
"A tarsier?" Dino asked, turning around to have another look at his hopefully future bride's Soul's Appearance… which hadn't gotten any more appealing since last time. "Why an animal so ugly?"
"Hey, a tarsier can be cute according to how you look at it!"
"Yeah, if you look at it through the darkest sunglasses in the world."
Lambo had to stop them and ask, "What the hell is tarsier?" Gokudera told him he would show him pictures of them on the internet later.
"I'm surprised you're being so nice to your enemy, Gokudera." Reborn said.
Gokudera blushed and looked away. "He and I… I was wrong to hate the tenth, but I will make up for that with my life!"
"Really?" Reborn drawled. "It's nice to see that you've come to grips with reality and have acknowledged the fact that you will never be the tenth Vongola boss." He said all in one breath making Gokudera hiss.
"Tenth?" Yamamoto asked, dumbfounded.
"Von… gola?" Ryohei stammered.
"O-oh," Gokudera murmured. "Guess we shouldn't have talked about this so openly."
"No," Dino snickered. "Let's tell them! Let's let them know all this mafia stuff and see if they want to continue being friends with my future fiancé."
"Mafia?" Ryohei and Yamamoto repeated together.
After Reborn, Dino, and Gokudera all took turns explaining different things about the mafia situation, Ryohei and Yamamoto felt very cold and only a little scared.
"Y-you can't be serious…" Ryohei muttered. "There's no way Tsuna can be a mafia boss!"
"Yeah, you've got to be lying!" Yamamoto agreed.
Dino smirked. "Afraid of him now? Don't want to get mixed up in such a dangerous life?"
"No, it's not that." Yamamoto said, waving Dino's comments away.
"Yeah, that has nothing to do with it." Ryohei said. "It's just that being in the mafia would put Tsuna in danger to the extreme."
"Not to mention he'd have to hurt people." Yamamoto added on. "And I don't think Tsuna's capable of that."
Dino was taken aback by their replies, shocked by their loyalty, but glad about it too.
"Then it's official." Reborn said. "To protect Tsuna will be your duty and you two will be his subordinates!"
"Wah! Don't do that!" Tsuna yelled.
"When did you wake up?" Reborn asked.
"Just right now, but that isn't important! Don't go recruiting my friends into something strange, mister!" Tsuna demanded.
"My name's Reborn. Remember it or I'll shoot you." Reborn said, pulling out his gun again.
"Eh? What a scary person!" Tsuna said.
"Alright!" Yamamoto said with a goofy smile. "If it means protecting Tsuna then sure I'll play this mafia game!"
"Me too, me too!" Ryohei said eagerly.
Through the minds of the five males who knew this was real ran the stuttering thought, G-Game…?
Omake: Lambo's First Time Seeing a Tarsier
Gokudera clicked a few things on the laptop and typed in a some stuff before turning the screen to Lambo. "This is a tarsier."
Lambo puked.