Forever Until Now

Chapter 16;; Static Dreams

"You'd be surprised at what you don't know about yourself…" he whispered, his voice a breath on the wind.

Etcetera woke up to the sound of low humming, and her eyes flickered open. Her sleep had been disturbed because of the nightmare that haunted her, and she was all tangled up in the sheets. Realizing someone had come into the den, she blushed and carefully pushed the mess of blankets off of her legs.

"Morning, Etcy."

Etcetera looked up, surprised to hear that chuckle. "Pouncival?" she questioned sheepishly, trying to arrange her head-fur into something that looked somewhat decent.

"The one and only," the tom confirmed, saluting her teasingly.

Not caring about her disheveled appearance anymore, Etcetera leapt out of bed and rushed over to hug him. He returned it, smiling at her. "We haven't spoken for aaaaages!" she complained, and Pouncival ruffled her messy head-fur.

"Nah. I came to check how you are." They broke apart, and Pouncival easily seated himself in the single armchair. Etcetera sat back down on the bed and tried to fix up the sheets, but they were an utter mess. "You're sleeping in pretty late today," Pouncival added after a moment of watching her battle to straighten out her bed.

"Really?" She arched an eyebrow. "Just how late?"

"Late enough that the sun's shining and that the Rum Tum Tugger actually questioned on your whereabouts," the tom smirked. A paw flew to her mouth. No matter how much she adored Plato and his enchanting green eyes, there was still something about the word 'Tugger' that brought out the fangirl within her.

"Really?" she asked eagerly.

"Damn right," Pouncival nodded in affirmation. "So you go out and face the word, Etcy." He smiled at her, for once without the usual smirk. She inclined her head and beamed at him, raising a hand to her forehead to salute him. It was a little habit of theirs, quite like a secret handshake. The pair had been best friends since birth, and Etcetera regretted the fact that they were growing distant. She inwardly reminded herself to spend more time with him.

Etcetera rushed to a little table and yanked her brush through the mess of fur atop her head. Pouncival, watching closely, winced as the knots gradually loosened, but said nothing.

"How've ya been?" he asked finally once Etcetera was done with the brush. She turned to him, knowing what he meant. Immediately, the bright look on her face was replaced with a small, sad smile.

"Okay, I guess," she said softly. "It must be hell for Mom and Dad, though."

Pouncival leant in to touch her hand comfortingly. "She was a good queen," he said, "But we have to keep going for her sake. She loved us, Etcy, and she would hate to see us upset." And then he smiled, a tiny flicker of grief hidden deep in his eyes. "That's why I'll smile, for her," he pledged, pounding a fist against his chest. Those were perhaps the most intelligent words that Etcetera had ever heard him speak.

"Thanks, Pounce," she said gratefully, taking his paw and squeezing it. And then, she took a deep breath, and gave him the most radiant smile she could find buried within the depths of her heart.

"Sorry guys," Etcetera apologized as she rushed into the abandoned den. Plato and Jemima were already there, conversing quietly. The conversation wasn't really flowing.

Plato glanced up as she came in. "You're a little late," he stated, but she understood he was asking where she'd been at the same time. She blushed.

"I slept late," she muttered, forcing the words from her lips. She slumped into a tattered old armchair. "I didn't really get much sleep last night."

"Neither," Jemima whispered. "I had the same nightmare… over and over…"

Plato said nothing, but his eyes were troubled.

"I can't even remember it properly, that's the thing," Etcetera growled, frustrated. "I always get this feeling that it's important, but whenever I wake up, it's gone." She didn't mention the fact that her sheets were impossible to untangle and that every time she'd awoken during the night, she found herself crying.

"My dream…" Jemima trailed off, and neither of the other cats prompted her to continue. They knew it must've been too hard to tell.

"So, are we actually going to make any progress today?" Plato asked dryly.

"Of course we are!" Etcetera sent a disapproving glare towards Plato. "I know! Why don't we track Macavity?" She clapped her paws together triumphantly, feeling like a genius.

"Uh, Etcy? Remember that he um… disappeared? Out of thin air?" Jemima reminded her friend in a small voice. The triumphant air fell away from Etcetera, as well as the smile. The light tabby queen sighed deeply.

"He had to go do that, didn't he." Etcetera puffed out her cheeks in annoyance. "Um…Plato, do you know how to track disappearing cats?"

He looked up from the ground to send her a glare that sent chills of fear running down her spine. "I thought I told you," he said softly, his voice dangerous, "To never bring that up again." Etcetera's eyes widened and she tried to break free from the imprisonment of his deadly green eyes.

"Plato, cut some slack on her," came an irritated voice. Misto and Electra then stepped into the den.

"Misto? Electra?" Jemima said after a moment.

"I can't believe you guys have been hanging out here all this time without telling us," Electra said, placing her paws on her hips. There was no mistaking the look of misery in her eyes.

"You look like you've been just fine with Misto," Etcetera smiled, trying to start some light banter. There was no chance of that – it was as if a gloomy raincloud had settled over the group of young cats.

"As if," Electra snorted. "I've been desperate to find some other company." At the same time, though, she smiled thankfully at him, and he nodded lightly.

"Um, if you don't mind, we're actually discussing something private," Etcetera said awkwardly. Electra narrowed her eyes.

"You're not telling us to leave after we spent all this time finding you?"

"Well, actually, yeah…" Etcetera rubbed the back of her head, embarrassed.

"Fine." Looking hurt, Electra turned to leave, when-

"Wait."

Everyone was startled to hear Plato speaking. His eyes were flat, but he beckoned Electra and Misto towards him. Hesitantly, they came.

"They can help us… if that's what they want," Plato said quietly. He looked towards Etcetera, smiling wryly. "I'm not the best candidate here for helping you track him… but remember what Misto's 'title' is?"

Etcetera's eyes widened, and a tiny grin appeared on Jemima's voice. "Magical Mister Mistoffelees," they said as one, and a tiny sparkle came to Misto's eyes. Electra lowered her eyes bitterly. No one noticed the dark tabby though, because both queens were rushing forward to whisper into Misto's ear.

"Misto, we need your help. Urgently."

"Please don't say no..."

"What are you two talking about?" Misto asked teasingly. Both Jemima and Etcetera stepped back.

"Misto, would you have any idea on how to track down Macavity?"

Bounding through rolling green pastures, the color of his eyes. She'd never felt so free in her life, probably because she couldn't remember ever being outside of the city and because this place was so beautiful. She drew in a deep breath, her eyes sparkling at the very sight of the vibrant colors all around her.

"Hey, Victoria."

Victoria's eyes widened at that voice. "You!" she exclaimed, her voice shrill with shock.

"Yeah, me." That smirk… those dark eyes, the dull green color of a forest. That sweet lilting voice, the trilling laugh.

"You're dead… I saw you die." But Victoria wasn't so sure anymore. The sight of Alyana standing before her, one eyebrow cocked in an expression of amusement, was far too real.

"Unfortunate, isn't it?" Alyana sighed, kicking a stone. She looked up at Victoria slyly. "Do I get a present now? For dying?"

Victoria just stared at the white queen, unable to come up with a response.

"It would make it a lot easier if someone appreciated the fact that I'm dead and gave me something to help me bear with it," Alyana explained. "So? Where's my present?"

"It's not like it's your birthday or anything," Victoria said, exasperated.

"Nah," Alyana shrugged moodily, "But I did die, and I think that counts for something."

"So if you're… dead… why are you here?" Victoria probed Alyana with her eyes, hoping for answers.

"This is just a dream, Victoria. It's not 'me' really. It's just my spirit, I suppose. I'm only here because I want to see something through before I'll finally feel at peace… then I'll leave you alone, I swear." She let out another laugh, and Victoria inwardly wondered how she could just joke about her own death.

"Besides… it's not like you're ever actually going to see a place as beautiful as this." Alyana waved a paw around, indicating the hills that rolled out towards the horizon, and the forget-me-not blue sky. Victoria sighed wistfully. She and Jemima had planned to leave the city one day… head out to the countryside. Jellicles who had experienced living outside the city told of the wonders of fresh air and soft grass underfoot. The two best friends had listened intently, and one night, they'd made plans and promises beneath the ever-watching moon. A tear slipped out from under Victoria's pale eyelids.

"Was it something I said?" Alyana commented airily, stepping daintily forward to flick the tear away. "Come now, don't cry. Cry for me if you're going to cry for anything, darling. I probably deserve it more." Her eyes became surprisingly distant. "It's not like anyone's going to anyway," she murmured, frowning slightly. Victoria stared at her, sympathy surging through her.

"Alyana?" Victoria whispered. The other white queen jerked her head slightly in acknowledgement. "Where did you come from anyway?"

"Ah…well, that's an interesting tale, for sure," Alyana sighed. "But maybe later."

"Hey!" Victoria protested. "You promised… before you died…" She narrowed her eyes, trying to recall Alyana's exact words. "You said, 'I'll explain everything to you later'. You promised me!"

A bitter smile twisted Alyana's lips, and she closed her eyes. "I think now that I'm dead, I'm not bound to anything anymore," she smirked. Victoria's mouth fell open indignantly, and just then, the dream began to fade away. One thing remained though – Alyana's muffled voice.

"But… you can ask Macavity. Ask him about your family."

Victoria woke up just as slowly as last time. She was still in the same room as before, but this time, Macavity wasn't there. Sighing, she closed her eyes again. Why did she still feel so tired?

"Victoria? Are you awake?" Victoria started and looked around the room again, but there was no sign of Macavity.

"Where are you?" she whispered.

"Away," he replied simply. "Did you forget that voice in your head? The one that kept you company when you were all alone, like you are now?"

Victoria gasped, covering her mouth with a paw. "It's your fault I'm alone right now," she said quietly. "Even if… you helped me… you've wronged me as well. I… I don't want to speak to you."

"…Then, Victoria, why don't you think instead?"

I don't want to do that either. But naturally, Victoria had slipped back into her old way of conversing with him. Of course, back then, she'd had no idea who on earth he was.

"Then stop thinking. It's easy."

What? There was an edge of frustration to Victoria's thoughts. After a long moment of trying to hold back the flow of thoughts rushing through her head, she couldn't help herself. Macavity, is it true that you um… hypnotized me or something?

"Where did you hear that, Victoria?"

Immediately, before she could cover it up, the memories of eavesdropping on his banishment from the tribe along with Alyana flashed into her head. She heard Macavity snarling in irritation.

"That Alyana," he grumbled.

Yeah, that DEAD Alyana. The one you killed. Victoria was beginning to get pretty irritated herself.

"Forget it," Macavity said harshly. Suddenly, Victoria had a vision of Macavity stabbing her with the same knife he'd used to kill Alyana. She shuddered delicately, and decided not to pursue the subject. She'd get her answers…

"You know, I can hear all your thoughts, Victoria. Making your little plans won't help." Macavity's voice was filled with exasperation and Victoria felt the urge to bury her face into her paws. But she couldn't – she felt far too weak to even do that.

She just wanted to go home…

"I can take you home, Victoria, if you like." Macavity's voice was level and perfectly pleasant.

Victoria sighed. What's the catch?

"There is no catch. I'll take you home. I'll take you to your family."

You're lying. I know… I know that you wouldn't just take me back to the Jellicles so easily.

"Who said anything about Jellicles?" Victoria could almost imagine the fiendish grin on the red tom's face.

You said home… the Junkyard is my home… the Jellicles are my family. What else could you mean? A wave of fatigue surged over Victoria, and she closed her eyes wearily.

"You'd be surprised at what you don't know about yourself…" Macavity whispered, his voice a breath on the wind. Victoria struggled to remain conscious, but she could barely form the thoughts to reply to him.

…What…?

"Victoria? Victoria, are you okay?" Macavity's voice was a distant echo in Victoria's mind, but if she'd been fully conscious, she would have heard that it was sharp with concern. But she had nothing left within her to reply to him, and surrendered to the blackness once again.

Electra knew that she wouldn't be included in her friends' plans. She was taken in by the idea of tracking Macavity down, making him pay for his actions… but what use was she? Plain, boring Electra who had no talent in anything. It could've been different. Even her name indicated all the possibilities of what could've been. As if she needed the constant reminder.

"Electra?" As if I need the constant reminder…

"Yeah?" Electra looked up at Misto. She was beginning to feel as if he was the only one she could trust. He was the only one who was treating her like a friend at the time anyway…

"Are you coming with us?" He asked, smiling slightly. Encouragingly. Electra frowned at him and turned away.

"You don't need me. I'm not much use for anything," she said quietly.

"You add to our numbers!" Etcetera put in, smiling brightly. Electra's eyes darkened. Yeah… like that makes me feel any better. Thanks, Etcetera. Apparently, Misto was thinking the same thing, because he sent Etcetera a disapproving glare.

"Etcetera," he said coolly, "I think she's going to be a great help, actually."

"I'm not coming," Electra said flatly. "Why would I want to anyway?" Actually, she really wanted to go. But the reason? It was an entirely different reason to all of her friends.

"I'm quite sure you do, actually." That was Plato, his voice level, convincing. She didn't look at him, because she hated seeing his eyes. As if I need the constant reminder…

"Damn you, Plato!" she snapped. "I don't need you bringing all those memories back…" Tears sprung into her eyes, and she heard cats approaching her as she turned to leave.

"Wait, Electra!" Misto caught her shoulder with a paw and spun her round. Her tearful face was exposed to all her friends, and she spat at the tuxedo cat's face. He flinched, but didn't let go. Plato took a hold of her other shoulder, his eyes the perfect picture of calm. Or were they? Upon looking closer, she could see a faint shadow of panic beneath the serene exterior he had perfected. She sneered at him.

"You know… about Macavity." Misto's face was pained as he spoke. "And he… he won't be able to hurt you, right?"

Electra's eyes darkened. "Shut up and piss off, Mistoffelees," she said darkly, using Misto's full name to indicate that she just wanted to leave. With that, she pulled away and rushed from the den, a blur of dark brown fur.

Everyone was silent for a long time. Then, Plato finally spoke. "She'll be back."

"What makes you think that?" Misto looked up into Plato's eyes, and saw very easily the frantic shadow hidden deep inside. The one that only very few cats would notice. Misto was very sure that Plato would see a blatant fire of frenzy within Misto's own eyes. It wouldn't be long before… he shuddered at the thought. They needed Victoria… how could she be dead? How could Macavity do that to them?

"Yeah… why do we need her?" Jemima's voice was uncertain. She blushed as all eyes fell upon her. "I mean… sure, she adds to our numbers…but what were you guys talking about before? I didn't get it…"

Plato sighed. "Jemima, you can be sure that she'll be very useful to us." He closed his eyes, deep in thought. "As to why she'll be back?" A wry smile twitched upon his lips. "She won't be able to resist. Macavity, dead? She's wanted that all her life."