A/N: This chapter may not be tear-inducing, but it's depressing.

Forever Until Now

Chapter 22;; Left In A Mad World

And in her head, a tiny voice called 'Liar!'

Victoria could hardly feel. She could hardly think.

Alyana… what is it like… to die…?

Alyana's not here, Macavity replied, his voice uncharacteristically gentle. But I am…

Does it… hurt, Alyana…? What is it… like?

Macavity said nothing, but he reached for her paw and, biting his lip in an almost nervous manner, squeezed it.

All she could feel was a familiar, comforting presence. That presence stayed by her side, whispered solace, made her smile broaden.

And then, even that was gone.

He was gone, she was gone…

Everything was gone.

Tantomile froze, Coricopat mirroring her movement. Then, the queen let out a soft, anguished wail. "No! No, Cori, this can't happen!"

"It's happened," he said, his voice barely a whisper on the breeze. "She…Victoria…"

Tantomile's paws clenched into fists. "No, no!"

Macavity just stared for a long, long time. Victoria lay still – even stiller than she'd been before. Fearfully, he touched a tentative paw to her forehead. Warmth…

He ran a paw down her arm, hoping for even a twitch, a shiver. Nothing.

"Dammit, Victoria, don't go!" he snapped, slapping her across the face. Nothing.

Victoria? VICTORIA? He called out to her. Nothing.

And when he touched her forehead the second time, he froze. Cold. She was as cold as the frigid air around them.

"Well, hello again."

Victoria stared at her paws, shocked that she could actually see. She lifted one paw, shook it around, took a tentative step forward. She could move! A smile gracing her lips, she danced forward, twirled round, laughed in delight. She felt free again.

"…you going to say hi, or not?"

Victoria glanced up then, smiling apologetically. Alyana sat a small distance away from her, traces of a smile twitching on her lips.

"Hi, Alyana," Victoria laughed.

"You're in an awfully good mood." Alyana raised an eyebrow and took a step towards Victoria. "I mean, considering your circumstances and all…"

"What do you mean?" Victoria paused in her dancing to glance over at the other white queen.

"You don't even know," Alyana realized, sympathy flashing in her eyes.

"Know… what?" Victoria whispered.

Alyana sighed.

"Victoria… you're dead."

Etcetera stared at the wall. She wondered vaguely what Plato was doing, and then she chided herself for thinking of him. She had to stop thinking of him, or else she thought she would explode.

But if she wasn't thinking of Plato, she was thinking of her encounter with Tumblebrutus. She shuddered, wrapping her arms around herself and shaking. Everything was going so wrong. Everyone was upset… how on earth were they going to kill Macavity?

I'm so sorry, Victoria…

She thought of her friends – Jemima, Electra, Misto… Plato… and then she wondered if they were all going to die at Macavity's powerful paws.

What would the Jellicles think of them if that were to happen?

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places
Worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going nowhere
Going nowhere

"Etcy…?"

Etcetera kept staring at the wall, stubbornly ignoring that voice.

"I just thought I'd say… I'm sorry…"

The wall needed a clean. It was covered in stains and dirt.

"Etcy? Hello?"

Other than that, though, it was a good wall. Strong. It could probably withstand a punch or two…

Just then, Tumblebrutus shook her by the shoulder. "Hello?"

"Just go away," Etcetera whispered, still staring at the wall.

"Why?" Tumblebrutus' voice was desperate. "Why are you so upset, Etcy?"

"Because…" Etcetera trailed off. Taking a deep breath, she gathered the courage to continue. "I don't love you, Tumble."

And the tears are filling up their glasses
No expression
No expression
And in my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow
No tomorrow

"But-" He made a soft choking noise. "But you…"

"You can't tell me how I feel, Tumble," Etcetera said softly. "Letting you kiss me was wrong. I'm sorry."

"But then…" His voice was filled with bewilderment. "Then who do you love?"

Etcetera swallowed, her throat choking up. "I… no one. I don't love anyone."

And in her head, a tiny voice called 'Liar!'

Plato stared at the wall. With his eyes, he turned it into Etcetera. Etcetera stared at him from the wall, smiling her bright smile, eyes glimmering with laughter.

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
And I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very... mad world... mad world...

Then, subconsciously, he twisted her expression into something else. Fear. It was the way she'd looked at him after seeing Demeter's memories. It was the way she'd looked at him after Tumblebrutus had kissed her.

"Dammit!" he yelled at the wall, and the image of Etcetera shattered.

Shattered into nothing.

Misto sat silently through Jemima's nervous babble, staring at nothing in particular. Inside, his stomach was churning and his heart was beating unpleasantly against his ribs.

"And I – Misto?"

He shushed her with a motion of his hand, and then he glanced at her with such agonized eyes that she simply fell into silence.

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy birthday
Happy birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen
Sit and listen

"Misto… how bad is it, anyway?"

He shook his head. "It gets worse every moment I live with it," he whispered. "Why did she have to go?"

Jemima opened her mouth, trying to force words out. Her fists clenched. "Victoria?"

He nodded wordlessly.

"She… Macavity… I swear." Jemima stared at the ground, teeth gritting. "I swear I'll… rip him apart."

Misto shot a look at the calico, troubled by her words. She was usually the most gentle queen he knew, yet… "It wasn't entirely his fault," Misto muttered.

"What – oh." Jemima nodded with understanding, eyes bitter.

"I know how it feels now." Misto still stared at her, eyes painfully hollow. "I… I think I could kill too," he admitted.

"Oh, Misto…"

"It's terrible Jemima, it's terrible… I feel crushed under the weight of it."

She sent him a despairing look, wishing she could help him. He just stared blankly back as if he was looking right through her.

Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me
No one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me
Look right through me

"I always thought you were so lucky." Jemima sat beside Misto and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. He shuddered.

"Me too."

Electra walked alone through the Junkyard, her stomach twisting into knots. She tried to ignore the hollow feeling within her, but it pressed indignantly against her brain whenever she tried to dismiss it.

"I need my magic," she whispered, letting purple sparks fall from her fingertips.

She recalled the way Misto had looked while he was walking with Jemima. He'd smiled at her and let her hold his paw. She'd been bouncing with delight – no wonder, she was probably deeply and madly in love with him. Electra scoffed. Yet… Misto had seemed to enjoy her company. Did that mean that he loved her back? Electra bit her lip.

Why am I even worrying? That idiot. I need to keep away from him until I recover my magic.

But she couldn't keep her mind off him or off the subject of magic. She clenched her fists, trying to rid herself of the empty feeling. Without magic, she knew that she would always feel empty. Close to cats like Misto, she felt a little better.

That's because I'm stealing from them, she thought hopelessly.

"Jenny's having her kits!"

"Already?"

"It looks like she's in trouble!"

"We need Jellylorum!"

"Jellylorum's busy with her own kit!"

"We need her! NOW!"

"What's wrong?"

"WE NEED JELLYLORUM!"

The area around Jennyanydots' den was in utter chaos. Cats crowded around trying to peer inside to see the cause of the havoc, but Skimbleshanks shooed them away, murder in his eyes.

"Get out! Get out!" he screeched at them. "Where's Jellylorum!"

"We just said!"

"She's busy with Etcetera!"

Just then, a flash of white light lit up the inside of the den. The Jellicles caught a faint glimpse of Jennyanydots, her face twisted in agony. Skimbleshanks glanced back, his eyes wide in terror.

"What's the problem?" came a rough voice. Cats leapt back as Macavity wove through the crowd, eyes narrowed.

"You! Leave my mate alone," Skimbleshanks snarled.

Macavity snorted. "I was told by the psychics that my presence was needed here," he said coldly. "So let me through, why don't you?"

Skimbleshanks stared for a moment longer, shuddering with the urge to protect his mate. Then, stiffly, he moved aside to let Macavity enter the den. The red cat smirked slightly and headed past.

"Are you sure it's safe to let him in?" one cat worried.

"Maybe he's our only chance," another said quietly.

Tantomile and Coricopat themselves then arrived upon the scene. Cats pressed them for answers, hoping for details on the future. They shook their heads grimly.

"You will see the future yourselves in time," they said tonelessly. Then, they glanced at each other.

"Strange things are happening."

"A magic cat is being born."

"She is a powerful one, this kitten…"

"Too powerful."

The Jellicles lapsed into silence at this, awed. Meanwhile, inside the den, Macavity was standing next to Jennyanydots. The orange queen was shaking, her eyes fogged up in exhaustion and pain.

"Hey," Macavity said.

Jennyanydots responded by ripping a terrible scream. Another bright flash lit up the room, and Macavity grimaced and shielded his eyes.

"I'm not even sure how I'm meant to help," he muttered. "I'm no expert on THIS magic."

"JUST HELP ME!" Jennyanydots shrieked, curling into fetal position.

"How?" Macavity growled shakily.

"I don't know," Jennyanydots whimpered. Macavity looked her over, and then winced at the sight of the blood in the queen's fur. Looking closer, he realized one kitten was already curled up against the chest of her mother, mewling pitifully.

"Do it for your living kit," Macavity hissed. "Just… push or something."

"I CAN'T!" Jennyanydots screamed, and just then, there was another explosion of light. When Macavity deemed it safe to open his eyes again, he saw the second kitten finally slither out onto the sheets. Jennyanydots closed her eyes, breathing hard, and promptly fainted.

"Heaviside," Macavity muttered, creeping closer to the kit. Skimbleshanks rushed into to comfort his mate and care for his firstborn, but Macavity was intrigued by the second-born kitten; the one who had almost caused her mother to die.

"Well, hello there," he said under his breath, touching the kitten tentatively with one paw. She looked harmless enough – rather like a normal kitten, in fact. But she wasn't normal. Not at all. That fact was proven when Macavity leapt back, eyes wide and electricity tingling in his fur.

"Bast," he hissed, giving the kitten a closer look. And she opened her eyes. She'd only just been born, but her eyes were wide, dull green and utterly intelligent. She gave Macavity a malicious sort of grin, and he smiled back at her, his heart unsteady. In this kitten, he had a friend. He could tell by her eyes that she was just like him.

No – not quite. She was more powerful than he.

And then he was crying out in shock and pain. The kitten was positively radiating lightning. It bolted from her fur, shot across the den, sent objects flying. Skimbleshanks was yelling, the firstborn was squealing in fear, Jennyanydots was moaning.

And the kitten? She was laughing in delight.

"I have to stop her…" Macavity realized, a wave of pity rolling through him. The kitten was happy as could be. She had every right – she was one of the most powerful cats in the world, and she'd only just been born. But Macavity was about to take that power away from her.

It was for her own safety. It was for everyone's safety.

Heart heavy, Macavity rested his paws on the kitten's forehead and took her magic into him.

Electra glanced at her paws. In the pain of the memory of her birth – a birth she recalled clear as day – she'd dug her claws into her own arm. Blood trickled into her fur, and she gave a long sigh at the sight of it.

Not many were certain of the events that had occurred on the day of her birth. No one quite knew why Electra was so weak as a kitten and so plain as a queen.

She did, and she hated it.

"Electra… I found you."

The dark tabby spun round, hissing. Misto approached her warily, noting her mood.

"I've come to ask you for a favor." He lowered his eyes shamefully.

"Yes…?" Electra asked in a low voice.

"I… I… please, take my magic away," he whispered brokenly. "I hate it. I don't want it."

Electra stared at him, eyes wide. "Take your magic…?"

"Please." Misto gazed at her with pleading eyes, his paws shaking.

"…No." She turned away from him, her eyes hard and bitter.

"Electra! Please! Don't you…want magic?" He stretched out a quavering paw to her.

"Yeah, I do," she said softly.

"Then why? Don't…try to be noble…this is for me, Electra, not for you. And I know that's selfish, but-"

"No, that's not it." Electra began to walk away. "I don't want your magic simply because," she called over her shoulder. "Simply because it's too weak for me."

"I…what…?" Misto asked weakly.

Electra stopped and glanced back at him, her eyes cold. "My magic was so powerful that they didn't allow me to keep it. I'll only be satisfied with my own magic. Don't you see? I don't want your smoke and mirrors. I want my lightning. Electra," she breathed, smiling ruefully at him. And then she walked away.

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very... mad world... mad world...
Mad World
Mad World

A/N: I don't own Mad World. This version is owned by Gary Jules (but it was first written by Tears for Fears, I think). Adam Lambert and Nathan Brake both covered it. Amazing singers, by the way.