Chapter II: Waiting For What Can Only Come Undone
The past year had been rather uneventful aside from the young genius' growing knowledge of her secret obsession. She didn't believe herself to be a stalker, that was a title that was too completely perverse and despicable to be associated with one who personified perfection so absolutely as she did. No, she was simply gathering information on a subject that interested her greatly. That subject just so happened to be a person. In any case, she treated her still foreign feeling emotions as a school project. Between her young age and analytical mentality, it was the only way she knew how to deal with such sentiments. Most girls her age were getting their pigtails pulled and chasing the boys they liked around the playground. Alexia, on the other hand, sat solitarily in her room and organized all known facts of William Birkin into easy-to-navigate categories.
However, even her carefully crafted combination of affection and detachment could not ignore the superfluous nature of collecting such intelligence if she were to never meet the man. The girl arrived at the conclusion that such a situation must be remedied since it did not agree with her at all. But to correct the problem, she knew she could not do it alone; many miles stood between her and her desired destination. All would notice her presence missing if she ever executed a plan to traverse the distance alone. Therefore she needed permission and an escort to the American laboratories.
So when the young Ashford girl crossed paths with her father in one of the many corridors in their home Alexia immediately decided to approach the subject. "Father, I want to go to the Arklay Labs." She demanded point-blank. She knew it must have been a rather odd requisition to be brought up so abruptly but she wasn't to be bothered with the details. All that truly mattered was gaining the acquaintance of Dr. Birkin. She was determined to make sure that no one got in the way of her goal. However, she felt confident that everything would go her way as it usually did, there were very, very few things her father refused her.
"Why ever would you want to go there, darling?" Her father questioned, taken aback by the strange supplication. She had never shown any real particular interest in the place in question or at least none that he could notice. Then again, if Alexander were to speak truthfully, he seemed to know very little about Alexia personally. If asked, he wouldn't be able to tell anyone her favourite color or her preferred food. He didn't know anything about his own daughter that fathers should know about their children. Alexia kept to herself; presenting to him the same indifferent but commanding girl that she was to everyone else, only seeking him out when she was in need of something.
"I have my own reasons that you need not concern yourself with." She snapped calmly, placing her hands on her hips as she glared up at Alexander with eyes that were shining yet dull but seemed to hold an unending well of beauty. "But you will allow me to go there, right?" It wasn't really posed as a question but more of a statement, there wasn't a note of uncertainty in her voice. After all, how could her father deny his most dear daughter what she asked of him? In her view, it was a rather simple request.
But to her utmost bewilderment Alexander shook his head in response. "I'm afraid I cannot grant you what you ask, my dear." Despite the fact that he was an important figure in Umbrella (or so he'd like to believe), even if he wanted to, Alexander could not bring Alexia into any Umbrella labs since she was not an employee nor had any other reason to be brought to locations where important business research was taking place. He attempted to explain this to his now confused child. "I apologize." He added. He knew what the repercussions were of denying Alexia anything she wished.
The wide-eyed expression that had been a result of being negated soon faded away and instead her eyes began to shimmer with the blue embers of hell. She then did what most children do when they don't get their way. She threw a temper tantrum. But unlike other children, Alexia was a force to be reckoned with for one so young. She hurled the usual insults and angry shouts but her fury was akin to that of an offended goddess. Most of what she said to her father didn't even register in her mind, all she cared about was the hurt look on his face and the dark happiness that bubbled noticeably beneath the anger. Umbrella's rules didn't matter to her. In fact, they shouldn't even apply to me. She growled mentally. I'm an Ashford. Alexia Ashford. Don't they understand that? Once she had spent what power she was willing to use of her child vocal chords, she stormed off without another word back to her room to regain composure.
Alexia grabbed a lovely doll and lowered herself onto her bed, which was covered in white blankets and was much too large for just her petite body. She hugged the doll tightly to herself for comfort as she let her thoughts sort themselves out. Alexia wasn't the type to cry if things did not turn out as she had planned nor did she even find comfort in the beautiful toy. In fact, she did not have any sort of fondness for the many figures of porcelain situated around her room. However, everyone else seemed to think she liked them and thus her room drowned in an over abundance of miniature women and girls.
What will I do now? Curiously elegant fingers brushed the fake golden locks of the doll dubbed Adelaide as the other small, sweet hand mindlessly caressed the cold and hard face that was painted with make-up. Empty blue eyes stared off into the unknown as Alexia's own seemed to be doing the exact same thing. Is it possible that… I won't ever meet him, will I? This notion began to swirl about her mind, slowly sinking in and contaminating every thought process. She didn't want to accept it, she couldn't. No… She shook her head and clutched the doll even more tightly as the truth of this thought washed over her like a merciless tsunami. No, no, no…
Suddenly, Alexia heard a loud shattering of glass and the word "No!" echoing around her off the walls like a chorus of furious angels. With surprise, Alexia noted Adelaide now slumped across the room next to the wall with a broken face in pieces, appearing more like a monster screaming in agony than a precious doll. The girl looked down at her own feet placed firmly on the ground and her hands clenched in fists at her sides. When had she stood up? When had she flung Adelaide across the room with all her might? Had it really been her yelling at the top of her lungs? Her body could still feel the exertion of throwing the doll and her throat still felt vaguely in pain and scratchy from screaming. Alexia had been known to fly into blind rages without notice but never before had it been of her own doing. All she could do was stand and stare ahead of her, feeling shocked at her own behavior.
Someone soon entered her bedroom without any notice but Alexia didn't bother to look over to see who the intruder was, didn't even bother to reprimand them for entering without knocking first. "Alexia, are you all right?" The genuinely concerned voice questioned. Alfred. Alexia finally looked over to see his face covered with worry and hidden uncertainty. She ripped her gaze from him and sat back down on her bed heavily, folding her hands on her lap and clasping them almost painfully. She was very unsure of how to explain herself and how to explain anything at all without letting it known of her amorous feelings where that certain doctor was concerned. However, it was Alfred, her own twin brother, surely it would be acceptable to speak to him about her current problem. She mulled over her thought for a minute or so in silence. From Alfred's point of view, without any response from his sister he could only assume something was horribly wrong. In an almost apprehensive tone, he addressed her again, "Alexia?"
"Our father is a wretchedly cruel man." She answered in monotone, staring unseeingly ahead of her as she still swam in the swirling abyss of her mind. She was quiet for quite a few moments once again but this time Alfred didn't say a word, choosing instead to wait patiently for any response from his sister. Something of great significance was most definitely troubling her and he knew she would only speak when she was ready. Alexia finally spoke again after picking the rest of her explanation carefully, "He denied me something that I greatly desire."
Alfred treaded carefully forward into the acutely feminine room, not wanting to excite Alexia's anger and find himself to be the recipient of her rage. However, his twin didn't stir at all even as he sat himself in a comfortable purple chair opposite of her bed. "What is that you want? Can I help at all?"
Alexia couldn't help the twitch at the corners of her mouth, a quick smile dashing it's way onto her face. "Oh, if only it were that simple, Alfred. I know that you would not disappoint me." She commented with a sigh as the tiny grin on her face ebbed away and her blank expression returned once again. "I wished to go to the Arklay Labs in America. However, it seems that this is not possible since I am, as of right now, not an employee of Umbrella. Our family name seems to mean nothing to them so I am not permitted to venture there." Hearing it all in her own words seemed to cement the fact even further that there was no way to meet Birkin. She gripped her fingers tighter over her left hand.
It was easy to see how much this bothered his sister but he still couldn't understand why. Why did she want to go to a Umbrella research facility now? Not to mention there were plenty of them around the world, so why the Arklay Labs specifically? "Why is it that you want to go there?" He asked after a slightly tense moment or two. Alexia seemed to be paying attention to their conversation yet at the same time he could see her concentration was ripped between their talking and whatever thoughts were going through her mind, thoughts that he could only assume were not comforting in the least.
"There is someone I very much wish to meet." She admitted without even noticing she was speaking, as far as she was concerned she had merely thought it in her mind and was still in the process of deciding what to say. Most of her brainpower was focusing on thinking of ways to attempt to make it to America but all possible plans seemed futile. It wasn't as if she could use her anger this time to scare anyone into taking her to the Arklay Labs since her father had already forbade her going there. And even if she did somehow manage to make it to her destination they would easily find her. After all, she had already told Alexander where she intended to go so it would make her very easy to catch and take back home.
Alfred felt a tad confused at first at his sister's words. Initially, he couldn't think of anyone who could possibly be of any interest to her until he remembered the file they had looked for the previous year and the bit of information that she had divulged about the subject. "You mean William Birkin, right?" He asked and knew he must've been right when his sister's gaze snapped up to meet his as soon as he mentioned the name. He usually wasn't one to question Alexia about anything she did or anything she wanted but at that moment he was still worried about her and thought it to be wise to inquire a little further. "Why do you want meet him specifically?"
"I… I…" What on earth exactly was it that she was supposed to say? How was one to explain the feelings that she felt? She wasn't in love, as easy as it would've been to say that, it would've been redundant to say so. Saying she had a 'crush' felt silly and childish; even though she was aware she was still a child, she didn't feel that way at all. Saying she simply 'liked' Birkin felt like an insult to her emotions. "At school, is there any girl that you pay special attention to?" She asked after another brief pause. The two went to different schools due to the fact that Alexia was far more advanced than Alfred. Her brother was two years ahead of most other children's learning pace but Alexia on the other hand was already in Year 13, ready to head to Princeton in the next few months since her application was already accepted. Because of this separation she wasn't privy to how Alfred was socially in school or really anything he did there aside from the school work he brought home with him and her own brief memories of attending the same school.
Slight confusion washed over Alfred, the question appeared to be a change of topic but an odd change nonetheless. "No, I can't say that I do." He replied with a shake of his head. The boy wasn't fond of school at all. The lessons were fairly easy but challenging enough to keep him interested without getting too bored. However, the people that filled the building that he was required to go to everyday were more bothersome. It may have been a private school but that fact didn't shield it from bullies attending the establishment. He was an easy enough target to pick on, being a few years younger than the others in his year and he was smarter then most of them as well. He kept mostly to himself without bothering to gain any form of friendship with fellow classmates. As it was with all social outcasts, whispered insults and nasty rumors abounded around him, some he heard and others he decided he'd rather not know about.
But he had a simple way of dealing with such happenings but if anyone were to learn of his thoughts they would probably be disturbed by a child thinking in such a manner. When sitting in class and he was disposed to not pay attention to the lesson or if something was said to or about him that was particularly hurtful, his mind left the classroom to think much more pleasant thoughts. In this instance though, the term 'pleasant' must not be taken into consideration by everyone. Most children daydreamed in class about favorite past-times or having fun with friends, Alfred on the other hand fantasized about torture in the most extreme. Ripping off their fingernails; gouging out their eyeballs; hanging them by their internal organs while they still lived. Piquet; Water Cure; Scaphism; and his personal favourite, the Iron Maiden. Of course, at school Alfred was quite quiet and so complacent that no one would suspect such things to be running through his mind. "Why?" He asked after a moment.
"Well, I must confess that I'm rather fond of Mr. Birkin." She answered, looking back down to the ornate carpet. She couldn't help the blush that carried itself to the soft flesh of her cheeks. "I must also regrettably admit that I am not certain as to why I feel as I do." She idly began to kick her legs back and forth as she felt a queer nervousness she wasn't accustomed to experiencing. In fact, she couldn't remember a time she had ever really felt so unsure and timid. At that moment, she likened herself to a ridiculous fool. "You must be thinking about how silly I seem right now." She murmured sadly.
"No of course not." He assured her though he did think that her behavior was rather uncharacteristic of her. The two then just sat in silence for quite a while, Alexia was secretly grateful for Alfred's soundless company. She took much time to try to sort out her thoughts as she lie down on her bed, staring up at the purple canopy above her. As her thoughts started turning into a merry-go-round of meaningless Alexia began to feel her eyelids becoming heavy. Soft lights that illuminated her bedroom and her ever-welcoming bed started to lull her to sleep until she was in a state where it was difficult to tell if she were awake or truly asleep.
A beautiful old cathedral surrounded her and everyone within the sacred structure. Upon her body she felt all the lace and frills of a breathtaking wedding gown wrapped about a body that was still that of a child. But none of that concerned her. At that moment she only had eyes for the man in front of her. She was absolutely positive that she was staring into the perfectly blue eyes of William. She was smiling so widely with happiness her mouth threatened to rip into a Glasgow Smile, she couldn't really feel it but somehow she could just tell that was the sensation produced. She barely listened as the preacher rattled off words that were used at many a wedding ceremony.
"… If anyone here has any reasons as to why these two should not be joined in Holy Matrimony, let him speak now or forever hold his peace." Suddenly, the whole building filled with a cacophony of shouting and wailing, of complete and utter objection to the marriage. She couldn't specifically hear them but just a feeling in her mind told her that she could hear the jumbled words they spewed forth. While William looked over at the riotous crowd with wavering and distantly agreeing eyes, Alexia ignored them. She outstretched her arms and placed her gloved hands on either side of his face, turning him to face her once more. The smile hadn't disappeared off of her lips. She stood on her tippy-toes, reaching upwards with her lips towards his…
But before they ever touched she suddenly found herself sat in a great marble hall upon a throne covered in red velvet. Beside her she could feel that William was sitting and staring at the same strange character she was. There were many people (not people really… but strangely… ants…) mingling on either side of the regal court also looking at the woman. The girl looked strangely familiar… Then Alexia noticed that was because the woman looked like an older version of herself but it was difficult to tell since her face was horribly disfigured. Upon her body she wore a costume that belonged to one who was a jester so Alexia could only assume that was her purpose there in the court. The costume looked like it belonged to an insect, a dragonfly robbed of its wings. Her bodysuit was a vivid green color checkered with black diamonds and on her head was a jester's hat that was yellow with black stripes. "Adelaide," William spoke, "What entertainment do you bring to us today?"
"I have but a humble song to sing to you, sire." She replied with her broken smile. She then began to sing a song that did not sit well with Alexia though she could not make out all the words. "There was… naïve king… wed… nasty queen… king… loved… queen… feared… secret kept… rule the kingdom… own… king knew not… bride… good as gold… one day… court… arrow pierced… king's heart… lost… life… lady love…"
Once the last note of the haunting melody ended, Alexia immediately stood up and started screaming. She wasn't entirely sure what she was yelling but she was definitely greatly displeased. She turned to see if William's emotions mirrored her own, only she discovered the same look he had worn during the disastrous wedding. She could sense laughing. Adelaide was laughing. Not at the queen specifically but it was that chilling laughter that people only indulged in when they were driven by pure insane determination, a mirthless and utterly unhappy sound.
But it died away and now Alexia felt herself rocking back and forth on the cold stone floor. She was crying but why? Something seemed to be missing and it saddened her greatly. Something was missing and there was no hope of retrieving it. She could feel the anger there as well. Surely, there was something she could do to replace that which now seemed to be forever gone. She got up and ran down the tower stairs but she tripped and fell, ready to meet the hard surface…
Instead her knees fell into freezing snow. But the snow didn't seem right. It was all red. Everywhere around the courtyard was the crimson snow and bodies littered about, colouring any white that was left on the ground. She felt the panic constrict around her heart. William… where was William? Shaking. Not from the cold but from fear, fear she had never known before. "William?" She called out, her voice disappearing into the windy atmosphere. "William!" She heard a voice answer and looked around desperately.
However, the voice didn't belong to her husband but her most trusted knight. "Alexia… I'm sorry…" It was Alfred's voice. She rose to stand, feeling the snow against her bare feet, and started to look around. But no matter where she searched among the bodies she could not find her brother.
What's happening? Why is everyone dead? Where is William? She thought to herself frantically as she decided to exit the courtyard. As she ran, words started to pour from her mouth into the deadly silence. It was the song. She didn't know why she was singing the frightening lullaby but at that moment she didn't care, she had more important things to worry about. She ran forward into a field where a fierce battle seemed to be taking place. She tried to squint through the snowflakes that had started to descend rapidly but she could only make out a few figures.
Suddenly a bright light started to head towards her. She didn't know what it was but she felt rooted to the spot, a feeling of impending doom drowning her completely. It hit her with painful force and she fell back onto the frozen ground. Staring upwards, the snowflakes too started to change to the color of blood and the gloomy skies above did as well…
Alexia awoke with a start, her body covered in a light sheen of sweat and her clothes rumpled. She took a few deep breaths as she tried to calm herself and rid herself of all the varying emotions she had felt in the dream. She still felt a little panic and looked over at the chair that her brother had been occupying before she had fallen asleep only to see her was no longer there. She quickly looked to her right and found him sleeping peacefully in the spot next to her. She smiled to herself, thankful to find him safe. She didn't think anything the dream had showed her to be true but it did seem to have a lasting effect on her. She lay there for some time thinking of everything that had happened in the dream but one thing that seemed to stay with her particularly was the song. Despite it's fragmented lyrics, it had been quite a beautiful song.
She couldn't resist, she needed to write it down since she didn't wish to forget it. Opening the drawer of the bedside table closest to her, she drew out a notepad and a pencil. Remembering notes and what she could of the scant libretto, she attempted writing the song. She decided to omit the part about secrets kept and ruling the kingdom as that part of the song seemed to detract from the simplistic melody of the other two verses. She hummed the tune to herself absently as Alfred started to stir from his own sleep.
He awoke with a frown upon his face, having also woken up from a troubling dream. But now being conscious of his every thought, he couldn't seem to remember anything that had happened in the nightmare. He looked up at his sister who was humming a song that he found to be entrancing. Once he had heard it a few times he looked up at Alexia and said, "That's a pretty song. What is it called?"
Alexia hadn't been aware that Alfred had been listening to her but didn't feel startled at all and instead pondered on his question. She had yet to give a name to the song she was writing down. Even though the lyrics weren't soothing, the song itself possessed qualities of a lullaby. "Berceuse." She replied tentatively. One of the subjects she studied was the French language and she recalled that berceuse meant lullaby. She placed her pencil on the bedside table and picked up her notebook from her lap to check over the words upon the page written in her own flowing cursive. A slight pressure on her vacated lap told her that Alfred had rested his head there.
"Could you sing it again?" He asked, closing his eyes again.
Alexia nodded even though she knew he brother couldn't see her and began to sing the song once again but with the words she had penned. "There was a friendly but naïve king, who wed a very nasty queen. The king was loved but the queen was feared. 'Til one day strolling in his court an arrow pierced the kind king's heart. He lost his life and his lady love." As she vocalized the lyrics she had begun to gently stroke Alfred's soft blond hair without realizing she was doing so.
"I was thinking when you were sleeping…" He mumbled, once again getting drowsy. "You should try to get a job with Umbrella and be a head researcher as soon as you finish University. Then maybe he'll notice you when it is announced that you're the youngest person to ever have that job, just like you noticed him when he did the same thing." Alexia simply stared down at her brother as he yawned quietly. It seemed like such a simple solution that she felt positively idiotic for not thinking of it. It may not have immediate results like she wanted but it would be worth the wait if… "Then maybe you'd be able to meet Birkin."
I have a few author notes to add to the end of this just to clear up some stuff in case anyone is wondering.
1. I chose Princeton for Alexia's university simply because of aesthetics. XD; Well, that's not the only reason. I looked up some things and I found a list of universities that had good science programs and it was on the list. Plus with a motto that translates into 'Under God's power she flourishes' it just seemed perfect for Alexia.
2. Don't ask me about any of the torture methods I researched, I would rather forget them. DX But if you're curious, Wikipedia is your friend and Higurashi no Naku Koro ni is an awesomely twisted anime. :D
3. The set-up of Alexia's bedroom is different than how the two we see in the games are, so that's why any description given does not match them. :P
Anywho, in other news I made up another crack pairing that I want to write a slightly AU fic about. That pairing would be RebeccaxSteve. Yeah... I don't know how that pairing came to me either. But in any case, I just wanted to see if anyone would bother reading such a fic since it's a random pairing that I'm not sure if in anyone would be interested in... So tell me your thoughts. :D
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. And next we're off to university!