A/n: My dreams are so creative aren't they :D this was actually a dream I had during my LOTR obbsession. OMG I JUST REALIZED I SPELT GIMLI'S NAME WRONG D: i'm sorry, but hopefully you understood what i meant :D there might be more after this, hell i'm even working on a humor fanfic...people might get angry at me for dressing up Legolas like a girl in that fanfic, but I get bored easily :D so enjoy this funny fanfic. have no sense of humor...THEN YOU CAN SUCK MY FUNNY BONE AND GET ONE!

Choking up

Legolas and Gimili were in the camp, getting ready for the battle of the orcs in (i forget the name so insert name here). There were so few tents so they had to sleep in the same tent together with 2 different cots.

As soon as they got settled in, Gimili couldn't stand how too quiet it was. As much as he tried to quarrel the elf, he couldn't do it. Legolas wasn't the kind of person to start a fight with the dwarf. He learned to keep his comments to himself as he began to know and trust Gimili a little more.

"Don't get yourself killed out there, and see if you can beat my score" Legolas said, giving a small chuckle to joke around with the dwarf.

"Listen here, Knife-ear I can make it on my own!" Gimili said, feeling insulted.

"I was just wishing you the best of luck" Legolas said, calmly.

"Just shut your trap elf! I can fight off one million orcs!" Gimili said, tyring to look tough.

"Alright, if you say so" Legolas said, turning to face his friend. Gimili took a few grapes off a small bowl to feed his hunger.

"Why don't you just quarrel with me? Get angry do something!" Gimili yelled, eating one of the grapes.

"I prefer to save my rage and energy for the war, Gimili" Legolas said, laying down on the cot, but sitting up, with his legs straight. He still looked at Gimili who gave an angry look in his eye.

"Quit being so smug elf!" Gimili said as he threw one of the grapes at him.

"I'm not being smuuu-gah" Legolas opened his mouth to speak, but the grape went in his mouth and got lodged in his throat making him choke. He held his neck, coughing, weezing, and gagging to try and either swallow the grape, or cough it out.

Gimili stood up from the cot and walked over to Legolas to help him out. He got up on his cot and shook his shoulders trying to get the grape out.

Meanwhile, outside the tent Aragorn walked over to Legolas's and Gimili's tent. He wanted to see his friends one last time, just in case something were to go wrong. As soon as he was about to approach the tent he saw a light in the tent that caused shadows to appear on the tent's walls. All he saw was Gimili grabbing a hold of Legolas's shoulders and shaking him roughly and hearing the gasping and choking from Legolas. He tilted his head to the side, watching.

"Are they doing, what I think they're doing" Aragorn said to himself. Eowyn showed up next to him.

"Aragorn, I just wanted to say good-" her sentence was cut short when she turned to see what he was watching.

"Come now Legolas, come to me!" Gimili yelled at Legolas still shaking his shoulders.

Eowyn and Aragorn's imagination went wild with what they were witnessing.

Back in the tent, Gimili was still shaking Legolas trying to get the grape out of his throat. Gimili had an idea and turned Legolas around wrapping his arms around him and giving him a few squeezes.

"Legolas, lean down a bit!" Gimili commanded. At this point, Legolas would do anythign Gimili said to get this grape out of his throat and leaned down, putting his one arm on the bed to hold himself up and the other on his neck. He heeved and gasped for air. Gimili began to push harder on his stomach to try and get him to cough it out.

"It...hurts...Gimili...it hurts" he managed to say while choking on the grape.

Outside the tent, an audience was made out of warriors watching the 2 'go at it' as they said.

"I wouldn't have suspected the two. I mean they're always fighting and the species are different let alone they're the same gender" Aragorn said, still his head tilting as he watched.

"It's love, they never let gender or race! I mean what if one dies in war, the other one will be sad! They should enjoy their last night of passion together" Eowyn said, admiring the two and their 'love'.

"Aragorn, I wish to speak to you about..." Elrond said, walking over then seeing the show. "What in blazes...this is an outrage! An elf and a dwarf? I won't tolerate it" Elrond yelled in fury as he watched.

In the tent again, Legolas's eyes rolled to the back of his head and felt the grape about to come out. "Its coming, its coming...its coming!" Legolas screeched as he choked the grape. Gimili gave one last hard squeeze and a loud grunt as Legolas screamed out a breath of fresh air, ridding the grape from his mouth.

He fell on the bed, panting and heeving to get his breath back. Gimili hopped off the bed and stood looking over at the heaving Legolas.

"Are you angry with me?" Gimili said, a slight smile on his face. Maybe this is it, maybe Legolas will finally yell at him.

"Angry yes, but it was a mistake. I understand. Thank you for helping me though" Legolas said, his breath slowly coming back to him.

"No! You were suppose to be angry at me! Heck, after what I just did you'd think you be angry with me! The least you can do is do the same to me!" Gimili yelled at the blonde elf.

Legolas let out a sigh. "I wouldn't wish such things for you. Good night" Legolas said, laying in the covers and trying to fall asleep.

Gimili got angry and tackled the elf on the bed. He grabbed the elf by the ears and pulled him off the bed. Legolas had sensitive ears so it caused him to fall off the bed, holding them in his hands.

Legolas got angry and unleashed hell on the dwarf. "That's it! Nobody touches the ears!" Legolas said, grabbing the elf by the beard and pulling him down on top of him then rolled over so he was on top, pulling at his beard.

"HAHA! Yes! Pretty boy snaps! About freaking time!" Gimili yelled at him.

Legolas grabbed his neck and began to choke him a bit, not enough to stop his breathing, but tight enough for him not to get up. He slammed his head, not hard but sort of gentle as he talked.

"I...going...to...teach...you...a...lesson!" Legolas yelled, as he threw the dwarf's head down a few times.

Outside the tent everyone in the whole camp was watching now. Heck, you would've have probably saw Arwen there watching as well.

"Score 1 for elves!" Elrond said as he saw Legolas get on top of Gimili. As long as Legolas was on top, he didn't care.

Back in the tent, Gimili kicked Legolas in the *clears throat* baby barers causing the elf to wallow over in pain. Gimili got back on top of him, as Legolas laid on the ground with his buttocks in the air. Gimili grabbed Legolas and gave him a small bite on the behind which caused Legolas to yelp in pain.

"You're not playing fair you cheater!" Legolas shouted, shifting himself around a bit. Doing that caused Gimili's beard to get knotted up in Legolas's belt and he was stuck close to a certain part of Legolas he didnt' wish to be stuck on. His face closed to Legolas's crotch.

"Gah! My beard is stuck" Gimili said, trying to pull his beard off his belt. Legolas tried to push his head away from his crotch.

"Hold still, you stupid dwarf" Legolas said, trying to untangle the beard hairs off his belt. "You're struggling is hurting me" Legolas complained a bit, trying to get Gimili to calm down.

"Well forgive me for panicking on getting this close to a man's precious manhood for the first time" Gimili complained, putting his hands on the ground and trying to yank himself. Legolas had his hand on Gimili's head trying to pull him off but winded up getting whipped back and smacked him hard against Legolas's precious jewels and he screamed out in pain.

Outside, was well...a different story. They never heard the line where Gimili said "My beard is stuck" and just kept watching. Hell, Boromir came back from the dead to see the show.

"I'm disgusted yet can't look away" Elrond said, still watching.

"It's so romantic" Eowyn said, breathlessly.

"And to think it was the fellowship that brought those two together" Gandalf said, watching with them.

"Don't we have a war to be planning" one of the soldiers said.

"After this" Eowyn said as she held her hand up to keep the soldier shut.

In the tent again Legolas and Gimili yanked and pulled to try and get themselves out of the predictment they were in. Legolas moved his hand to squish a grape that Gimili dropped and the juice shot up and hit Gimili in the eye.

"OUCH!" Gimili said, pulling back as his beard pulled off the belt and rubbing his eyes.

"I didn't mean to do that" Legolas said, innocnetly getting up and checking up on him. "Are you alright?" Legolas asked.

"It shot and hit me in the eye" Gimili said, holding his eyes.

Outside the tent the juice that squirted out looked like something else as it hit him in the eye. Everyone gasped, and looking at Legolas as a calm, collective person just shattered.

"Well great, now that we are even. Let's get some sleep and forget this ever happened" Legolas said, getting up off the ground and laying in his cot.

"Stupid elf, you couldn't at least said sorry for looking at...that" Gimili said, crawling into his cot.

"Good night, Gimili" Legolas said, not wanting to argue with him any longer and went to sleep.

"GAH! Stupid elf" Gimili said, keeping under the covers.

Outside the tent everyone stood with shocked look on their expressions.

"Score 2 for Elves, and one for the Dwarf. It proves that elves can make more passionate love than anything else" Eldorn said, a smile to his face and walked away.

As the Elf and Dwarf slept, they didn't expect to be greeted by the stares of people, heck even getting a few claps.

"Do you know why they're clapping at us" Legolas asked, innocently.

"I have no idea, and I don't care" Gimili said, hopping on his horse with Legolas in the front like always.

"So beautiful" Eowyn said, looking at the two. They cocked they're eyebrows at her and rode off into war.