A/n: As a request from Zelda12343 who wanted one with Merry and Pippin, here it is :D i thought it would be kind of amusing to once again get the men of LOTR to be confused with Legolas's gender. I mean, look at that long blonde hair and tell me he doesn't look like a girl from the back. So anyway here it comes. Yes, I do take requests. Feel free to say an idea like...Aragorn gets a bath for the first time in ages or something like that. Anyway enjoy!
Over in Isenguard after Merry, Pippin and all the other tree herders defeated the orcs and Saruman came a drinking party with drinking games to celebrate their success. After Gimli passed out due to too much achohol, Legolas walked away and went to watch Merry and Pippin sing and dance on the table. The amused look on their faces caused Legolas to smile and laugh, even clap to their singing. Merry and Pippin were drunk off their noggin, as Merry swung an arm around Pippin's shoulder and whispered something in his ear.
"Check out that blonde, elven maiden checking us out. Do you think it would be kind of awesome if we went back to the Shire and told everyone we were able to get with a elven maiden" Merry said, as he held his mug and took another sip from it. "Oi, indeed it would, Merry. We should as her to dance" Pippin said, as he looked over at this 'elven maiden'. His vision was too blurred from the achohol to see the male features of Legolas planted on his face and only noticed the blonde hair. "Yes, we should, Pippin" Merry said, as he gave him a slight pat on the back. Pippin pointed over at Legolas. "Hey, come here. We have a surprise for you" Pippin said, his words sounding as drunk as he was. Legolas wondered what it could be, curiousness took control of him as to what it was and why they would give him a surprise.
He walked over to the table and looked up at the two hobbits. "Yes? What is it you two?" Legolas asked. Merry and Pippin leaned down and grabbed Legolas's hands and pulled him up on the table with them. "Dance with us, it is a celebration after all" Merry said, as she kicked his feet out and continued to dance. Legolas stood sheepishly nervous, especially at the attention that was drawn to him. Merry and Pippin hooked arms with Legolas on both sides and began to circle the poor elf around.
"Come on, Legolas! If you can't beat them, join them" Eomer yelled from the crowd, a large smile on his face and laughing. "I suppose your right" Legolas said, as Merry and Pippin let go of his arms and danced with him. Legolas kicked his legs like they were doing and danced with him, he also seemed to be having a ball while doing so. Laughing, dancing and singing with the two hobbits.
Then it all ended, when Merry and Pippin went from behind him and whispered to each other. "You ready, Pippin?" Merry asked him. "Ready, Merry" Pippin said as the high fived each other. Legolas wasn't paying attention till he felt a swift smack on his behind from two hands. Legolas placed his hands on his buttocks and rubbed it. "Merry! Pippin! I'm appauled that you would do such a thing!" Legolas snapped a bit. Though it got quite a laugh from the audience that watched them.
"Oi, relax beautiful Elvish Maiden. We'll treat you good" Merry said, as he gave another quick wack on Legolas's butt again which caused him to let out a shriek of surprise. "Wait, elvish maiden?" Legolas questioned, a bit confused. "Beautiful Maiden of this Tavern, there is no other that I rather Fathern, for your looks make me swoon, so now let's fly to the moon" Pippin sung to Legolas, drunkly. Merry gave Pippin another high five. "Nice way to impress the lady" Merry said to Pippin.
"You think that I'm a-" Legolas was interrupted by Merry hooking arms with him and swinging him around. Legolas tried to keep up, but wind up stumbling. "They must be on a drunken spur" Legolas said, to himself as he yanked his arms back, but once he did he lost his balance on the table and fell on the group of men that were watching the show. Merry and Pippin stopped their dancing and looked at Legolas worriedly, or in their eyes the "elvish maiden". Legolas got up and apologized to the men and dusted himself off.
"This is just like that incident with Boromir" Legolas complained as he dusted himself off and helped the men up. Merry and Pippin gave apologic looks to Legolas, as Legolas turned around and gave them sort of a scowl. He went to go storm off when Merry and Pippin hopped off the table and grabbed Legolas's shoulders pulling him down and they both gave Legolas a kiss on both his cheeks. Legolas yanked himself out of this and yelled at the top of his lungs "GAH! I can't wait for you two to sober up!" Legolas yelled, getting rather annoyed with the hobbits.
"Relax, gorgeous" Pippin said, as he wrapped an arm around Legolas's waist in which Legolas replied by pushing his arm back off his waist.
"We know how to treat a lady" Merry replied, with a hiccup. Legolas slapped his forehead. "I think I'm going to be sick" Legolas said, though it could have been the achohol from the drinking game that was talking. "Here, why don't you come to our room and relax" Pippin said, as he grabbed Legolas's hand to try and lead him out the door. Legolas yanked it away and went to walk away when another hand grabbed him. It was Merry's hand. "Yes, indeed. Why don't you come up to our room and have a rest? A woman of your standards shouldn't be left in a tavern full of dirty men" Merry said, as he dragged Legolas out of the tavern.
"Let me go you two" Legolas said, as Pippin regrabbed the other hand again. The other men in the tavern watched and laughed as he was lead out by two hobbits.
"So now that leaves Eowyn" one of the men in the tavern yelled, as one of the people who thought Legolas was a girl too. "No! Not my sister!" Eomer said, as he grabbed his sister and threw her over his shoulder and walked out the tavern to protect her from any men that laid eyes on her.