[Bella's POV}

I sat silently listening to Jasper's story. He skipped telling me what little he could he remember about his human life, since I still had his notebook from then. He started where the notebook left off right before his change. He explained the pain of the change that I already had a taste of. He told me about his first battle, and climbing up the army's ranks. About training the newborns and meeting Peter.

Char jumped in when he got to the point where he let her live. She told me about her and Peter setting up a life. About leaving the war behind. About how worried they were about the friend they had left behind. She explained the plan they came up with to get him. About the fight they had over Peter wanting to go after Jasper alone.

Jasper took over again when she was done. Telling me about traveling with the mated pair. How Char would bring home dead humans for him to feed on, so their emotions wouldn't bother him. Peter is studying the psyche to find a way to help Jasper. They worked together to find a way for Jasper to feel better about using his gift.

After they told the whole story Char got up and heated up the food Esme bought earlier. Placing it in front of me she sighed.

"I know it's a lot to take in, but you needed to know." Jasper spoke looking at his hands. "I'm sure this changes some things, and I understand if you need some time to think about everything. I can get Emmett to drive you home."

"No." I pushed the food around the plate with my fork. I knew I needed to eat, but I wasn't feeling very hungry. "You are right there is a lot I need to think about, but Charlie isn't home right now since we told him I was sleeping over. No point in going home to an empty house."

I took a bite. The food was good. Pasta from the dinner in town. What I always ordered when I went with Charlie. I smiled at Jasper and Char. But as good as it was, I just didn't feel like eating.

"I'm not very hungry. I think I'll go on up to my room." I stood grabbing my plate, and placing it in the fridge. Jasper didn't follow me as I walked up stairs, but we both knew I didn't have my own room.

I looked down the hallway. I didn't have my own room in the house, but there were a few places that were always open for me to use. I passed by Jasper's room not wanting to take up the space if he needed it to calm down after the fight. HIs study was also passed by without a glance. Carlisle had told me I was welcome to use his study whenever I wanted, so that's where I went.

Entering the room I grabbed the blanket that was kept on the back of the couch before moving under the larger desk. Placing my back to the side of the desk I curled up using my foot to pull the chair closer so that I was fully hidden. I felt Jasper's false calm fade away as I naturally calmed down. I tried to push gratitude toward him, but I wasn't sure I managed.

I had wondered why Sam was so angry when I got here. I worried someone had been hurt, but the pack entered the house quickly after him. Grabbing the girls before rushing them out the door. They didn't even get them a chance to grab their stuff. The fire in Sam's eye's promised pain to whoever stood in his way. I had seen it before when I had come over to his house crying that Renne wouldn't let me come back the next summer. We were too young to do anything to stop it at the time, but the same fire lit his eyes then too. As soon as the girls were out the door he rounded on Carlisle.

"How dare you send him to fight for you!" HIs voice was so calm.

I raced up the stairs as soon as I saw who that burning rage was for. I knew Sam wouldn't hurt me, but I wanted nothing to do with whatever had caused that fire. Most of what I heard was snarls and hisses. Pieces of sentences that I couldn't make sense of. I heard something about a seemingly endless war, and unwilling soldiers. I knew they had to be talking about Jasper, and now I had the full story.

The story of a man who went from one battle to the next. A man who at times knew peace but didn't know how to be at peace. He didn't need to fight anymore. He didn't have to train the others to fight that army, yet he did. He always chose the people he loved over his own safety. He was guarded but loved freely.

His past didn't scare me. He had no more control over it then I did my mother's choices. What did scare me was the way he seemed to refuse to admit he needed help. He was as unwilling to hold out his hand as I was, but he had so many people who were willing to take it. If only we could help him see that. Maybe I should get Sam to talk to him. Sam's great at getting people to realize things that they didn't want to.

Honestly I should just put all of the people who want to help him in a room with him and not let them out till they talk about everything. Very hypocritical of me I know. I pulled out my phone, opening the new group chat the girls set up for us. I had about twenty missed messages all asking why Sam was so mad.

I guess Jasper and Sam had a heart to heart at some point while they were out, because Sam is raging at Carlisle. I won't go into details, but honestly I think Carlisle needs this wake up call. Rose joined in the screaming match and two new vamps I hadn't met. Turns out they're Jasper's friends. I sent a back.

Oh shit! You good? No one pulled you out of there before shit hit the fan. Kim replied.

Also don't worry about there being a dead deer at your place. Jake had to change plans to come get me, so I told him to wait till the next time Charlie goes fishing or something. You were right he's not asking any questions.

OMG I told you he wouldn't question you! LOL And thanks for putting a hold on that plan.

Yeah didn't think you'd make it home tonight. Anyway no avoding the question. How are you?

Yeah yeah. I'm fine Jasper told me his backstory, so now I'm just thinking about everything.

Does this change things? Kim wondered.

About how I feel? No. About how quickly we get together? Maybe. He seems to think that this changes what I think about him, but I'm just worried about him. Oh and one of his friends that showed up is as pretty as Rose, and I don't know how to deal with that.

"Bella? Where are you?" I glanced up at Sam's call. I didn't want him to find me. I wanted to be alone for a little while longer. I glanced back at my phone to see KIm's message.

Girl you can't let her scare you!

Hey can one of you text Sam? I guess he's done yelling at Carlisle and now wants to find me.

Yeah give me one sec. Kim sent.

I heard a sigh and then his footsteps moved away.

Thanks Kim.

No problem. He's not very happy about leaving you alone. He's bitching about it in my messages.

Sounds like a you problem. Anyway I got to go. I have an early morning shift tomorrow, so I got to get to bed.

Okay bye Grace.

Whatever old lady. Bella need anything else?

I don't think so. I think I might just go to bed too.

I lean my head against the desk, getting comfortable. I used to sleep in weird places all the time to avoid Renee's crappy boyfriends, so I was perfectly fine sleeping here. It wasn't long before I was asleep.

I could hear the soft turning of pages as I woke up. There was a pillow behind my head and the desk didn't feel as hard as I remembered it feeling. Opening my eyes I saw I had been moving to the couch in the room. Carililse sat in his chair reading a thick book.

"You're awake now."

"What time is it?"

"Twelve a.m." He sat the book on the side of his desk. "How are you feeling? I can't imagine that sleeping under my desk was very comfortable."

"Not the smallest place I've fallen asleep." He just raised his eyebrow at me. "Really I'm fine."

"Alright, but why were you under the desk? I do have softer places to lie down in here."

"I wanted to be in a small space."

"Do you like small spaces?"

"Yeah. They make me feel safe."

"I see. We'll have to add a space like that to your room then."

"My room? At Charlie's?"

"No your room here. You didn't really think we wouldn't give you a room, did you?" He smiled at me.

"I guess I didn't think about it."

"I see. Well I think Esme is designing it, but I can let her know if you want anything special in it. I'm sorry you got stuck here during the fight we had. I think Sam forgot you were here, and Rose was more worried about her brother than you. She jumped on the chance to yell at me."

"It's alright. I didn't really hear a lot."

"Jasper said we scared you."

"Yeah, but I thought someone got hurt. Knowing everyone is physically okay I feel better."

"Yeah I seem to have not thought past physical well being in quite some time. I'm a doctor, yet I keep looking past my own childrens wounds."

"Is that why you're in here right now, and not sitting with them? Do you feel guilty?" He smiled.

"So quick to help everyone, aren't you? To answer your question, yes I do feel guilty, but I'm in here to talk to you. Don't worry Jasper is out with his friends and Rose and Em left the house as well."

"Oh." I could feel my face heating up. "Where's Alice?"

"Also with Jasper. She wanted to talk to him."

"I see." This is definitely about what he overheard earlier. I wondered if I could somehow stp this conversion.

"Bella, it's alright. I just thought you might have some questions about the mate bond. I won't bring up anything else unless you ask."

"Okay," the blush still didn't fade. "What is a mate bond?"

"As the name states its a bond between mates. This bond lets the mates communicate with each other mentally, and always have a sense of where the other is at."

"Wait mates can read each other's minds? Starting when?"

"Once the bond starts forming thoughts and emotions slip though, but it's only when its fully formed it can be controlled."

"How does it form?"

"Well that depeans. With two vampires it starts forming when the mates make eye contact. With a shifter and a vampire it starts forming with skin contact. In the case of a human and a vampire the human won't feel the bond until either their change or the first time the pair has sex."

"When does the vampire of the pair start to feel the bond?"

"It forms slowly as the vampire spends more time with the human. Their instincts well tell them to follow the human in question, but the bond won't form for some time. It's hard to pinpoint just when it starts as there aren't many who find themselves in this bond type. For Rose she knew the moment she saw her mate he was important but it wasn't until after I changed him she knew why. I didn't recognize Esme until the second time I smelled her blood. I know a guard in the Volturie who knew based on the taste of their blood."

"So there's no easy way to know if they're human?"

"That's right. I will say that the vampire always knows before the human, but they tend to wait till their mate finds out for themselves. A mate bond can be broken while it's forming if one of the members of the bond doesn't want it."

"I see. The vampire wouldn't want to risk the bond breaking just because the human gets scared by the thought of it."

"That's right," he smiled slightly. "Does it scare you?"

"No. Even before I met this family I didn't fit in with the people in my life. I didn't understand why other girls drooled over boys, or why the kids in my classes acted so childishly. I read books to escape my life. The thought of a bond like that doesn't scare me. A broken family is much scarier."

"I see. In that case I think you should talk to Jasper about how you feel."

"Like you should? You're his father but even I can see the distance between you two. It's not there with the others. Does he scare you?" I met his widening eyes my voice firm.

He sighed, turning his face to the window behind him. His shoulders were lower than they normally sat.

"A vampire is ruled by their base instincts. Those don't change even if the higher thoughts do. Jasper greatly scared me when he first joined our family, and as much as I now love him there will always be that base fear. I saw his scars and saw a threat to my family that I had no chance of protecting them from. That first image is still there all these years later." His hand ran through his hair as he spoke. "A vampire is unchanging."

"Why?" He glanced back at me.

"I'm not sure. Rose would be able to tell you. She studies the minds of both humans and vampires."

"I see." I guess I would need to speak to Rose. He stood up.

"Alright come on. You must be hungry, you haven't eaten yet."

He held out his hand to help me. Once I was standing he led me back to the kitchen. I still have so much to learn about my new family.