Delays from A to Z

The Kingdom of Town was almost the second or third most wonderful thing Strong Bad had seen since he had began his adventure. As he ran out of the shadow gate and onto the soft grass a little ways from the entrance the kingdom shimmer in the noonday sun. For a second the fire prince wondered how long he was north, but there were more important things to think about.

"... You owe me, fai-" Strong Bad stopped himself, shaking his head as his feet moved towards the entrance way. Homestar didn't owe him a thing. In fact after nearly killing him it was more of the opposite. "Never mind..."

He sighed and quietly stepped towards the opening in the not-so-tall wall bordering Town. He was about to get to the other side when he was stopped by a green gloved hand.

"Storp right der! Only humens are allowed through!" Before the fire prince was a tall foot soldier with a bright green tunic under dull brass armour. He looked to be a little on the old side to the young prince, lanky and a bit on the shambly side. Strong Bad sneered.

"Look man, my friend here is sick. I need to go see Marzipan."

"That's Princess Marzipan der to you," The foot soldier slurred with an slight overuse of syllables. He smirked as he added. "Elf boyor."

The fire prince bristled. He hated being clumped as an elf. Few things infuriated him more than being called one of those flaming preppy hippies. "I. AM. NOT. AN. ELF!"

"Den whort are you?" The soldier shrugged, a little amused at how grumpy this magic-folk seemed to be. Normally he wasn't a fan of conflicts, but the way this blue haired guy was practically spewing fire, yet seemed so nonthreatening made him chuckle; on the inside at least.

"Holy crap, are you blind? I'm Strong Bad!" If his arms weren't full of giant fairy he'd be flaring them at the idiot before him. "Let me through!"

Slowly the soldier shook his head and chuckled. "Sure, and I'm Zee, king of Town..."

Then he noticed the white wings poking out from under the cape. His laughter melted into a frown as he took a better look at the pale slightly glowing thin figure in Strong Bad's grip. His eyes narrowed and he pulled out his sword. "Or maybe ye are the wickid prince. Is yer so called 'friend' an angel? Yer plannin to use our inns to finish yer dirty werk with der lady?"

Strong Bad backed off slowly, giving a wided eyed look of shock and confusion at the foot soldier. "What?"

"Just like yer father did der to yer mother." The soldier, Zee, wave his sword, but didn't put down his guard.

The soldier's statement blew the prince mind. Sure his father was a powerful man, a concuring man; but he loved his mother. And his mother was, as far he remembered, a half shadow elemental. That's why him and his brothers were such good casters. He couldn't help wondering where this dirty rumour came from.

"Yeah, dat's the way der story goes. Dat's why yer a threat and yer brother's leave us alorn. Wickid Prince."

Strong Bad wanted to beat the ever loving snot out of this guy, but part of his new he had to get Homestar into Town before he woke up. He didn't know how much time he had left. He cleared his throat. "Ok, if that's all true, will you let us pass so I can find Marzi-- I mean Princess Marzipan?"

Zee just gave a suspicious look and kept his slightly chipped sword at the ready.

"Look I can assure you; one: my friend is not a lady, he's a dude, and I don't want to hurt him any further than he already is; and B: I have to see the princess, she's the only one who can help him! I need her healing powers and I can promise you nothing else."

"I can't trust a demon. I'd lose my joerb." Zee looked from Strong Bad desperately fierce eyes and down. "But... Er... Howr much monies you got thier; princey?"

Strong Bad didn't hesitate, despite his moment of surprise at the so called guard. He knelt slowly, supporting Homestar on his knee as he yanked off his money bag and tossed it towards Zee. "Here take it, if it gets me in to see Marzi."

Stumbling the guard just barely managed to catch the money from the air. He opened the bag as the fire prince tried to pass him, but stopped him with his sword. "Norw Wait a tic. Dis is herdly a princely ranserm, 'Wickid Prince'."

Strong Bad stopped before getting sliced, and glared. "Its all I have, jerkwad. What more could you possibly want?"

The guard grinning for a moment, having the prince at his mercy. "How 'bort dat mask or doze farncy gloves?"

"Next you're going to ask for me to give you my pants or boots? Want me to walk into Town buck naked?" Strong Bad snarled, powering up his fire magic. At least until he realized he was about to set the very fairy he was trying to save on fire. He stopped, staring up bitterly. "I should just let you burn, but I have more important things to do."

"Oh, and how are yer planning gettin past me?"

"Zee!" The sound of the woman's voice caused the guard to freeze. Strong Bad looked back towards the gate, and that's where he saw her. He could only assume by the way she held herself this was Marzipan.

She was a tall blond with pale pink eyes and a thin frame. At least until Strong Bad's eyes found their way to her large curvaceous hips and thick thighs.

"Whoa..."

Marzipan walked over, taking the bag of money from the quivering guard. Zee wasn't quivering from fear, though. Ever since the princess was a young teen he considered her a nymphic goddess, and being that close to her was driving his senses wild. She just graced him with a disapointed and concerned look.

"Guard Zee, I know rules don't allow non humans in the kingdom, but that being is clearly injured. Have you no mercy?" She quickly made her over to Strong Bad and Homestar. "What happened to your companion?"

"Er..." Strong Bad sighed, looking away. "He's a fairy. His tail was cut off."

Marzipan's eyes sharpened. "I've heard about that cruel, horrible ritual. Tricking innocent fairies into giving up their lives for 'all powerful' trinkets. People who do that make me sick."

"Dat der's the wickid prince. He musta done dat to der angel girl." Zee pipped, resisting the temptation to touch the princess.

"He's a dude!" Strong Bad snapped at the guard.

"Quiet!" Marzipan held up a finger at each of them. "Strong Bad! I've heard of you too, and I know about your plans. I should throw you in jail, you little monster."

"What the crap? What did I do to you? I just came to get your help, not cause you trouble. Trust me, if you don't help Homestar then I will cause you such trouble it'll make your fat daddy's head spin!"

Marzipan gasped. Then her countenance softened. "Fine, Strong Bad, follow me."

"Finally!" The prince rolled his eyes and followed the princess. She led him towards the kingdom. He followed her through the kingdom, glaring at anyone who seemed to be staring at him. The staring just grew more intense. "I don't suppose you could move that vivacious butt a little quicker, hm Marzi?"

She glanced his way, then looked away, not picking up her speed. "That's no way to talk to me."

"'Cause you're a princess? We're kinda on the same level there, lady." Strong Bad scoffed.

"No.. Because I'm a powerful druid and I'm helping you." She pointed out with an exasperated sigh.

"Well excuse me princess." Strong Bad snarked as he bowed at her for a second. "Help away."

Marzipan muttered something to herself as she led him into a side entrance of the castle, passing a few more guards before arriving to a room full of bed. "Go put 'Homestar' on one of those. I'll see what I can do for him. Then you can go outside and wait there."