A/N: Long time no see!
I can't believe it's been almost a year since my last update and, honestly, it makes me sad, because I really love working on this story!
Life's been hectic last year. From important exams I had to focus on to natural disasters (truly!) happening where I live. Things had settle down for now, so it's my cue to continue. I just had to warn you all again that I don't intend to abandon this story. It's almost done on my part; I just have to focus on polishing it the way I consider perfect.
Another thing that delayed this update has been this chapter in particular. I wasn't at all satisfied with how it turned out initially, even though it had everything I had planned. After working on it, I am still not one hundred percent satisfied, but it'll have to do for now. We'll see. (Do let me know!)
I do hope you enjoy this update. It won't be another year until the next one, I promise!
Happy reading!
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
Chapter 8: Ordinary Man
Her eyes opened slowly, almost sluggish the next morning. When her thoughts caught up with everything that had happened the day before, Sakura closed them again, fighting a defeated groan.
There was nothing for her to do anymore aside from waiting. Her fate was sealed in Pein's hands.
Quite literally.
Pein didn't come looking for her as was their routine. When she left her morning shower was to find the bedroom door already unsealed and the hallway outside empty. Sakura wondered if this was because he had work to do or something else…
Then she shook her head. There was no point in overthinking their interactions or fear they might figure out something. She was already here; if anything would happen, then it would happen, and she would continue to stay powerless to prevent it. At this time, it seemed easier to acknowledge it and move on.
With this in mind, Sakura made her slow way to the kitchen for breakfast, hoping more than ever not to find anyone in the way. She was still feeling very weird with the complete failure of her plan. It was all she had, all she had her hopes on, and now suddenly there was nothing.
There was no way she could expect something out of Pein when he himself didn't seem to know what he would do with her after their "agreement" was over. It was doubtful he would let her go back to Konoha as if she hadn't just spent weeks living in one of the Akatsuki's hideouts. He surely wouldn't feel enough pity for her to reach this point.
Thankfully, the kitchen was empty. Sakura prepared her usual cup of tea calmly, if not lazy. She had the strange feeling that she had slept more than usual this morning.
After breakfast was done, she decided to go looking for Pein. He didn't wait for her in her room, but he could be waiting for her somewhere, probably in the infirmary. She still had a job to do.
But as she came closer and closer to the door, she could already tell the room was empty. First by the sight of it still completely closed. No lights seeped through the small gap below the door, which reinforced her suspicion. No one would be inside in the dark.
Sakura went inside anyway and just decided to stay there for a while. She crossed the room straight to the windows and pushed one open. Immediately cold air met her face, making some wisps of her hair wipe back. The sky was dark and a fine sheet of rain fell relentlessly in the already wet street. Sakura reached out a hand for the small droplets, palm up as if to catch them. A few drops had fallen on her skin when she realized what she was doing and retrieved her arm abruptly. Tobi's voice echoed in her mind, telling her Pein could feel some things through the rain. She just hoped he didn't feel that and went looking for her, expecting to find her outside.
She stayed rooted to the spot, her eyes distractedly looking outside as the time passed by, slowly but surely. There was no movement in the city below. It was as if no one lived there.
"Haruno-san."
Pein's voice was as smooth as it was low, but it was enough for her to hear. She turned around, too fast for her liking, to find him standing a few feet away from her. The sight of his black cloak only served to remind her she wasn't wearing hers, which she should. But Sakura wasn't worried about that; she was more interested in the fact that he managed to close in on her without her noticing once again. That made her angry with herself.
He was looking at her in a different way, almost carefully. She couldn't put her finger on it. In the dark infirmary, that purple hint in his grey eyes got more pronounced; they seemed to almost glow.
Instead of lingering on it, Sakura crossed her arms across her chest. "There was no healing session today?"
His eyes lingered on hers before slowly shifting outside the window where he kept staring. He didn't seem to be seeing anything, though, and Sakura wondered what he could be focusing on; what was on his mind.
"Itachi is unavailable." Was his simple, cryptic answer.
Sakura frowned, still watching him wearily as his eyes stayed rooted outside the window, her mind processing this new information. This could mean more time with the Akatsuki for her, which she wasn't sure how to feel about it now. In a way, she wanted to be free of them as soon as possible, but would that even be a possibility? She didn't know anymore.
"Well," Sakura said, drawing his attention to her again. "Is he going to be back soon? Or even use his eyes again?"
"It is not going to take long."
Fleetingly she wondered what that really meant. Externally, she only gave a terse nod. "That's good. I don't want to take longer with the treatment."
An orange eyebrow rose slightly, questioningly.
"So I can go back home," Sakura elaborated, fixing her gaze attentively on his face to try and see a possible reaction to her words. Differently from the day before, Pein only seemed to incline his head minimally, neither conceeding her point nor denying it, as if he himself was waiting something from her. Sakura thinned her lips, frustrated with his lack of answer.
They let the silence between them stretch. Outside, the rain fell just a bit harder, with the cold air entering the window with a little bit more force. Sakura felt a shiver on her covered arms and braced herself, never once breaking eye contact even though she wanted to already. There was no way she was going to win this little game they played, with his eyes like steel, hard and cold, where there was no forgiveness for her. In fact, there was nothing for her.
With this in mind, she deflated and took a step back, turning to close the window again, if only to have something to do with her hands, to have a reprieve from all of this heavy tension between them.
After the window was closed, she took a deep breath and slowly turned to him again. Pein didn't move from his place close to the cot, but his eyes were focused on her hands. With her movement, they rose to her face once more.
"Was there something you wanted?" Sakura asked finally.
He slowly stepped towards her, almost careful, as if she was a wild animal ready to spring. Her face tilted up and, before she could realize what he was about to do, there was a feather light, warm touch at the fine skin below her left eye.
The sudden contact was almost wondering, yet not so surprising as he had done this before. Still, her body tensed, her legs ready to distance herself from his touch. However, in spite of her self-preservation, Sakura stood her ground.
He frowned, and his hand dropped. "Have you already eaten?"
The question was out of place and it surprised her. Was he worried about her? Because of what happened yesterday? Maybe he saw something on the seal…?
She only had tea and, as he voiced his question, her stomach grumbled. "I had breakfast," she lied.
Pein's stare turned pointedly and Sakura asked herself if maybe he had heard. But to her surprise, Pein turned his back on her to walk towards the door. "Meet me on the first floor after lunch." His voice was stern and cold, as if she had done something to disappoint him. "And make sure you truly eat this time."
The first floor weren't really used, if at all.
It was the only one completely empty. She had been here before, in one of those times she would spend walking around alone, trying to get familiarized with the building and secretly looking for a way out. But the only thing one would see as soon as they came down the stairs was a large, square room… and it was it. No doors, no windows, no light. Only walls in the dark.
It was the same thing Sakura saw as she turned the corner to the last set of stairs. She stayed where there was still light, looking intently into the room ahead. It seemed empty. She was early.
Curiosity was gnawing at her, but she sat down on one of the steps anyway, hugging her knees to her chest. She didn't know how much time had passed when soft footsteps could be heard at a distance. Seconds later a pair of sandaled feet appeared by her side. It stopped for a mere second before continuing down.
"Follow me, Haruno-san," Pein instructed without looking at her.
Sakura hastily got to her feet. "Where are we going, Pein-san?"
He didn't answer immediately. She followed him into the dark, but when she reached him, he was making hand seals. Sakura stepped closer so she could glance around him to be able to see what he was doing, but it was too dark and he stopped as soon as she reached his side.
The wall in front of them changed. It went blurry on the edges and it slowly rippled to the center, changing part of what was a smooth looking wall into a grey, sharp-edged door very similar to the one in her room. Genjutsu, Sakura thought bewildered. How she never thought of it? And it seemed the most obvious place for one, since the room was suspiciously bare. It was so well placed that even her couldn't identify it.
Pein placed his right palm upon it, the same one where he used his ring on the thumb. The stone with the kanji engraved glowed a faintly clear blue light and then the door was opening with a low groan.
It seemed several things around here were connected to that ring.
"Outside," he finally answered when the light of day slowly illuminated their faces.
Her eyes widened. "Are we…?" She trailed off uncertainty.
Suddenly her mind went back to the day before, when she almost complained that there was nowhere for her to go. That time, he had said that there might be a place, but after what she found out, she wasn't interested in going anywhere anymore. Was he taking her to meet the village? His village?
Pein looked at her sideways. "Aa."
After that, they stepped out of what was the building's entrance to the street. Sakura stopped herself from staring at the back of his head to take a look around.
The sky wasn't as gloomy as all the times she had stepped outside the terrace and the rain had stopped falling momentarily since she had lastly looked outside the window in the infirmary. Sakura wondered if Pein did this on purpose now that they were leaving the safety of the building that served as Akatsuki's hideout. From what she knew now, probably yes.
Konoha had their own tall buildings, and sometimes, while walking through some narrow alley, Sakura would feel completely overwhelmed to be engulfed between them. Here, seeing the heights they could reach, Konoha's looked like small houses.
On the street they had stepped on, there were absolutely no trees, only grey–a mixture of metal and concrete. Despite the weather's small improvement, the street was very poorly illuminated because of the buildings that served more as some sort of shield against daylight. There was still a chill in the air and other than the two of them, there was no one else outside.
Pein's presence beside her felt like a shadow. He stepped in front of her, looking around calmly before walking forward to one side of the street. Sakura went right after without needing to be told, still looking around the main street and its alleys in wonder, but keeping closer than normally to him.
"So there's no people living in this area?" The immediate places around them seemed as abandoned as it was every time she looked outside.
Pein hummed, with his eyes watching her askance, his gaze almost careful. "While a little ways away from the central part, there are people living here."
Sakura nodded shyly when he stayed observing her, for what exactly, she didn't know for sure; she wasn't sick anymore, he didn't need to keep doing that. And she had realized that since yesterday, he kept staring at her more frequently, as if expecting something from her. On the other hand, it could be suspicion from the day before and her strange behavior after being sick. Did he think she was faking her sickness somehow? No. It wasn't that. He did examine the seal after all. Whatever it may be, he was watching her closely; she needed to tread carefully.
The central part he mentioned wasn't far at all. After walking a long, empty alley, they reached a large street that, despite not being the most populated, according to Pein, had more people around then the ones they passed by. There were some tents mounted, with people selling a variety of products, from food to necessity items like raincoats and umbrellas–things people seemed to really have a need for in this place since it was always raining. This street also didn't have trees or any form of nature visible.
Some of the stores and houses had a small origami of an angel hanging outside. She wondered if that was some sort of culture of this village.
They hadn't reached the more populated parts yet and people were already staring openly at her, especially her hair. Most of the ones who didn't bother wearing a hat were brunettes with brown or cool blue eyes and simple grey clothes, very similar to the ones she was wearing. So she supposed she called attention with her pale hair and bright green eyes. The people themselves seemed simple and none of them looked like they got more than the others. It was like everyone belonged to the same social class.
She only realized she had unconsciously stepped closer to her companion when she felt a palm being placed protectively at the small of her back. The muscles there tensed, but she didn't distance herself, only allowing him to guide her slightly in front of him.
When they saw who was beyond her, on the other hand, their reactions changed drastically.
They looked and greeted Pein as if he truly was a deity among mortals. They would first watch him reverently, then, when he would nod simply in acknowledgement, they would answer with a profound bow and after that would continue to stare at him until he was out of sight.
The wonder on those people's faces was something she didn't expect and the realization caught her off guard. They love him, Sakura suddenly realized, looking back at those they passed by. That look in their eyes was the same some civilian villagers in Konoha would give Tsunade; bright and hopeful and respectful. They really saw him as a leader, as a kage, as…
Her breathing went shallow while thinking this through. He really must have done great things for his people if he was regarded with this much respect. No one would give them fearful looks. There was curiosity directed at her, sometimes suspicion like they had an inkling she didn't belong in their village, but only admiration and respect for Pein. Sakura wouldn't have believed it if she hadn't seen it.
Looking back at the side of Pein's pierced face, she felt a twinge in her chest, a feeling long forgotten, but one that she knew very well because she had felt it before. She felt bewildered and confused, like she had missed something. How could a rank-s missing-nin be this adored by such seemingly simple and innocent people?
But what truly came to bother her at that moment was the fact that she didn't know much about Pein at all. All of it was surprising because he was the leader of the Akatsuki; but what had been his life before?
What had he done for these people to have such high regard for him?
She wanted to know.
Sakura didn't know where that thought had come from; what she came to realize, however, was that she was still staring wide eyed at Pein's face and he now was staring right back, a curious look on his swirling eyes, and deeper, something else. Sakura blinked and sobered quickly, recomposing herself and turning her gaze ahead slowly.
The landscape of the village was pretty much what could be seen from the window in the infirmary, with pretty much only tall buildings, but none as high or as different in design as the Akatsuki's. The streets were narrower than Konoha's and, combined with the seemingly permanently darkened sky, it gave the impression the buildings were closing in on the people below.
All in all, it was a very industrial village. Sakura wasn't impressed by the architecture nor did she care for being stared at, and perhaps she just preferred to stay inside.
They walked calmly through more empty streets the more they distanced themselves from the market, in the opposite direction of the more populated places. Sometimes a villager would walk by them, bowing low and staring at Sakura's hair, either curiously or frowning, or normally when it was a child, fearfully. Sakura just decided to ignore them all, lest she would be forced to consider what good things the man by her side had done to them and that was unacceptable. He was her captor, after all.
Though his hand stayed placed on her back longer than she would like to admit.
"I assume you are like a kage here, then," Sakura said after they stayed in silence for a long while, trying to distract herself from her startling thoughts. It sounded more like a question.
"Kage?" Pein's deep voice reached her ears, questioning and with a hint of disgust hard to miss. Sakura's eyebrows raised in surprise. He tilted his head down to conceal the lower part of his face. "This village is not like your typical hidden village. As such, I am no kage."
Not the typical hidden village? Truthfully, she hasn't seen a single person using a hitai-ate and only now that he mentioned it she realized it. But if this was truly Ame, they had shinobi; she remembered quite a few of them in her first chunin exam. In all fairness, she didn't see them very often as with the other villages, but still. They were basically all the same in their system and their way of doing things.
A thought came to her then that if this was truly Ame, they had a kage; and it was definitely not Pein.
"But it is still a hidden village," she concluded from his earlier words, hesitantly. Pein didn't say anything to rebut her. "So it means there was someone like a kage here before. A leader." Even though he wouldn't say where here was.
"There was," Pein said curtly. "Not anymore."
Sakura frowned and, despite her brain warning her against it, she questioned, "What happened?"
For the longest time he stayed in silence. They walked to the end of that street, turned a corner, and proceeded forward on another filled with buildings. She hugged herself against a shiver. This one seemed colder.
"The last one made the country into a battlefield of sorts for other nations in a war that didn't belong to us in the first place, thinking of his own motives. I was only a child, then." Pein's voice sounded, sudden and low, at her side.
Sakura was surprised and had an almost unconscious urge to just say something, but refrained from making any noise lest he gave up on telling her anything.
"Needless to say there were a lot of deaths, unnecessary ones, like civilians from small villages in the vicinity and even shinobis. People died in combat, or in the crossfire. Afterwards, from hunger. However, no one ever took responsibility for it. Not even the one who was like a kage, who actually was only worried about his own safety."
He made a pause, where Sakura could see his jaw clenching uncharacteristically, and looked around. His distant eyes told her he had personally witnessed these events and was now remembering. "Even now, years after his death, they scramble to become what they once were."
That explained why the people seemed so simple. Sakura wanted to ask him if he had murdered the kage, but bit her lip, thinking it to be too forward. Besides, he didn't look like he would tell her more. Perhaps she should leave it for another time.
"Not like a kage, then," Sakura conceded instead, hesitantly returning to her earlier question, "but still a leader of some form. At least, they seem to regard you as one." She gestured with her chin to a group of men ahead, observing them the same way the others had.
"I told you before, Haruno-san," he murmured and his eyes seemed to glow as he stared ahead. There was that feeling again, the one she felt a couple times before around him. A dense, almost overwhelming feeling that raised goosebumps along her arms and at the back of her neck.
When she only stared at him in bewilderment, leaning more towards him to hear, he slowly stopped in his steps to lock eyes with her, as it seemed he was liking to do as of late.
"I am God; and they know it."
And now, nervously staring into his eyes, Sakura wondered if she was starting to believe it.
The rain started to fall again as soon as they took a turn back at the street with the Akatsuki's base.
Sakura crossed her arms to hide her trembling hands and quickened her pace, not wanting to get drenched on the street. Pein was right behind her, but Sakura didn't spare him much thought. He was making her even more confused, and whatever it was she was feeling towards him that seemed to change every few moments. She didn't want to think about it, she didn't want to recognize that he was making her doubt herself and her beliefs because then she would be in trouble. It would be admitting he had some sort of influence over her and that was inconceivable.
And truly, she wasn't certain what it was, but something about him shifted in their last interactions, something that wasn't there before. It had started ever since that first conversation in his office, days ago. That day felt so far away. Now it was like she could see him clearly, even though she didn't know him that well still.
When they arrived in front of the building, Sakura stepped aside to let Pein do his thing with the door. She watched carefully, even though now she knew she wouldn't be able to replicate his techniques without that ring. The door appeared and opened slowly at the touch of his hand and Sakura stepped in front of him again, but before she could take another step towards the dark place, an invisible something halted her.
It was an incredible and terrifying force all at once, one that prevented all movement she tried to make as if she didn't have control over her own body. Something almost primal twisted behind her navel, an inappropriate feeling of being completely overpowered. She hated it.
Out of the corner of her green eyes, Sakura saw Pein's hand, slightly raised and turned towards her. A memory came to her right there, of her body swaying and only not meeting the ground because of a mysterious pull that kept her upright, right before that same hand met her arm in a firm hold.
She opened her mouth to speak–to scold him of all things, she realized suddenly–but there was movement ahead of them, leaving the building.
Tobi's swirling orange mask greeted them and then, as soon as it came, the pull released her, at once giving back her will over her body. She stumbled a little, but otherwise stayed put. He looked from one to the other calmly, as the slight tilt of his head indicated. Inside the hole in his mask, a red glow shone in his eye, distracting her momentarily.
"Pein-sama," he said curiously, but his voice lacked the usual cheerful quality. It seemed a completely different one–more grave and serious. "Sakura-san? Is something the matter?"
He must have found it weird she was outside.
"It is nothing," Pein replied for her, his face set and his eyes cold. "I am merely escorting Haruno-san back inside."
There was something unexpected in the tone of Pein's voice that left her intrigued, but she couldn't put her finger on it. She was surprised he even elaborated at all.
As if he was answering to his leader and not the other way around.
Sakura frowned. Her eyes took in Tobi's entire lanky form, keeping in mind what she knew about him. His shoulders seemed rigid, but with the cloak on top, there was no way to be sure. He was entirely covered and now, for the first time, Sakura wondered if that was intentional for some hidden reason.
His head turned to one side casually. "Well, don't let me stop you, then." His voice was back to being cheerful, but seemed forced.
Sakura followed him with her eyes until he disappeared halfway through the street. Then, she looked at Pein meaningfully. He nodded lightly, as if he knew of her thoughts, then stepped inside. Sakura only hesitated for a moment before following. Behind them, Tobi had already disappeared.
The rest of the day was very monotonous. She almost wished Itachi was around so she could have something to do. Pein truly meant what he said about escorting her inside. After he left her safely inside her room, she didn't hear anything from him anymore, which was an indication of him probably being busy. Or maybe he was avoiding her… but what was there for him to avoid?
Sakura also didn't linger around that day, even when she had to eat. She wasn't that hungry, she decided, when the thought of going down in the kitchen, and potentially meeting someone, crossed her mind. It wasn't fear; it was something else not even her mind was able to decipher.
She reclined back on the bed, her eyes observing the lamp on the ceiling thoughtfully. She imagined outside the rain was pouring down now since they were inside again. She imagined Konoha and how it must have been sunny, hot and sticky at this time. She thought about her parents. Did they miss her yet? Were they worried? And Naruto, who had been training with Jiraiya before Tsunade sent him out on a classified mission. Was Yamato and Kakashi helping him instead?
But Ino and Chouji were the ones she worried the most and not for the first time Sakura saw herself questioning their whereabouts. At this point in time, they should have already reached Konoha. If so, did Tsunade take any measurements for her to be rescued?
But then again, if she had, it would be for nothing. They didn't even know where Akatsuki's hideouts were. They probably didn't even know her disappearance was Akatsuki's doing.
A sad feeling made her heart squeeze inside her chest. She missed them so much already. Curse the time Tsunade finally decided to let her go on her much awaited mission as team leader. But there was no helping the fact that her own poor decisions landed her in this situation to begin with, even though it was essentially a trap. She should have listened to Ino; somehow, since the beginning, her friend had sensed that something was amiss with Kazuo. Ino had warned her not to go back to the village alone, to help with the fire, and she insisted on going and even made a treat of sorts if they didn't follow her orders.
Regret filled her chest thinking of it now. There was no point, of course. It had been days already. But, somehow, these thoughts only really downed on her now that she was free of any plans of escaping or not thinking about her predicament with Akatsuki. She was late for it and Chouji and Ino and their supposed mission only felt like a distant memory now.
Was she naïve for still having hope that Pein would set her free once she was finished with Uchiha Itachi's eyes? She certainly didn't believe until recently because how could he? It wasn't logical in the least. She already knew too much.
She thought back on their earlier conversation, how he sort of talked about his old life in this country, wherever it was. It very much sounded like he had problems while growing up. Was he another Naruto, a war orphan who never got to meet his family, or was he like Sasuke, who lost his parents at an early age? Whatever it may be, it saddened her. It sounded so much like Sasori's history too and that didn't end well for him. Even Sasuke's…
Pein, from what she came to know about him, seemed like the type of man who would have been a great and admirable shinobi for the right reasons if something traumatic didn't happen to him. Still… These thoughts brought her back to Naruto again, someone who had a very traumatic and lonely childhood and still was always trying to be the best he could be to protect the people important to him. Pein could have suffered whatever it may be, but it didn't give him a reason to destroy other people's lives as if they were at fault for how the world had failed him.
And even with all this, and against her better judgement, she still felt sadness for him. He didn't mention anything that might have happened to him, but somehow she could feel it. Could see it from his empty look while talking about the kage responsible for tearing the village with a pointless war. She wondered if he ever would tell her if she asked…
But why would he? She was the enemy here. He would never trust her with anything like this. He told her part of what happened, but it was vague. There was nothing compromising. In the end, it was the best option; she would be telling Tsunade everything she knew if escaping was a possibility.
It all went back to that ring of his.
Sakura sighed tiredly and got up from the bed, letting her feet carry her towards the door. Pein wasn't as bad as her preconceived notions had initially provided. Between him and all the others, she would choose him at any chance she got. Just the fact that he worried about her well-being and made sure she wasn't hurt was enough of a reason. Of course, he had an agenda, but still, any other person in his place wouldn't have such caution with her life, preferring instead to just use her as a means to an end.
Having these conclusions in mind was what made her think of the times he had let pieces of information slip to her benefit. Why, she couldn't say, but the important thing was that he had and he could very well do that again. Would he say something if she asked about her uncertain future again? In their first conversation about this topic, he led her to believe he wouldn't kill her. Then, logically, the only other option left would be to let her go. Would he follow this through, though? Could she trust him?
And after being free from aiding her village's enemies, where would she go? Would Konoha take her back?
That question made her pause in her stride along the hallway. She had no idea.
Deciding to keep this question for a later, more careful evaluation, Sakura followed her very familiar way to the man on her thoughts.
It was then something strange happened.
There were noises.
Sakura frowned and tried to listen better. Though the sounds seem muffled, it was like a person. A man, specifically.
Someone was getting sick?
It was on that level, though. She walked on slowly, trying to determine where it was coming from. This level was full of very similar doors, just like the one in her room, by the end of the hallway. It could be that they were all bedrooms. It would make sense.
Halfway through, she stopped abruptly in front of one. Even through the thick door, she could now hear loud, deep coughing coming from the inside.
Despite who might be on the other side, her mind went immediately into medic mode. Sakura took off and stormed into a room very similar to hers, to find Itachi bent over a wooden desk shoved in a corner, with his back to her.
Her eyes were wide with surprise. She could never guess the person making those sounds would be him.
"Uchiha-san."
Itachi wasn't away then. Sakura wondered if Pein knew of this.
Her voice was soft, but it was more than enough for him. His back went rigid and he rose a little from his position, but there wasn't much improvement. If anything, he seemed to turn his back on her even more, as if wanting to hide something.
He didn't want any help; he wanted her to leave.
At that time, the first thought in her mind was to let him be. Her deal with Pein was to heal his eyes, not anything else that might be affecting his health. He was still her enemy, after all, still the man who betrayed their village and killed his entire clan. He was still the man who mentally tortured and drove her teammate to seek revenge. Nothing of it had changed.
Still…
Since when she turned her back on people who needed her? She was a medic and medics didn't look at their patients' entries in the Bingo books. And Itachi was her patient now. Would she be able to let him suffer, knowing that she could have helped? Was denying help going against the 'do no harm' principle?
But then her heart clenched when he choked and supported more of his weight on the desk.
As Sakura stepped forward, she could clearly see the shivers raking his body. He was wound tight, one of his hands holding the edge of the desk in a white-nuckled grip, while the other covered his mouth. There were spats of blood everywhere, including a handkerchief thrown haphazardly on top of the desk and a half full glass of water that was smeared in it.
She grimaced at the sight. Who would have imagined the powerful Uchiha Itachi in a harsh predicament like this?
Her hands met his back in a way to better support him upright. He stiffened under her palms and closed his eyes. There was no more coughing, but Sakura could feel his body jerking with the suppressed need. His temples were glistening with perspiration, the hair around his forehead was damp. The extenuating hold he had on himself was visible. That day in the infirmary came to mind. That only made her angry.
"Don't," Sakura said entirely too harshly.
His eyes snapped to hers. On any other day, perhaps she would see fury in them, but now they looked feverish and tired. His eyebrow rose to convey a silent question.
"Don't suppress your body's needs because you think it'll make you look weak," she scolded a little more softly this time.
"Why are you even here?" He removed the hand covering his mouth to reveal thick blood covering his lips, his chin and his palm, slowly scurrying down his long fingers. His voice was hoarse and Sakura almost wished he hadn't said anything.
Yes, why.
Her eyes traveled back to his dark ones, where she could handle looking. Her lips tightened.
"Despite everything, you're my patient. I can't just watch you suffer like this without at least trying to help."
He watched her face for a while; his eyes, although directed on her, far away and blurry. When she thought he wouldn't do what she ordered, his body started to shiver. Slowly and sporadic at first, and then without pause, growing until he was jerking violently against her with every deep cough. Sakura almost wasn't able to hold him up, but she tried to the best of her abilities without chakra. More blood scoured out to the point she was surprised with the amount. After what felt like forever, he finally started to settle down against her.
He was exhausted, she could tell when he simply leaned against her more heavily and didn't seem to mind he was doing it. Sakura sighed deeply and waited until there weren't any tremors anymore. When he was completely calm, she half guided, half carried him to the bed in the center of the room. He let her without any protest, leaned back against the headboard, and closed his eyes.
Sakura busied herself looking for something to try and clean that mess that was Itachi. There was nothing to absorb the blood in sight, except the handkerchief. She collected that and took it to the bathroom to dampen it. Her eyes followed in the bloody fingerprints in the walls and the blood scurrying in the white sink with growing concern. She grimaced, then quickly made her way back.
She dabbed on his face, very slowly at first so he would know what she was attempting. He didn't offer any resistance, so she continued, now more to the point of cleaning his face. When that was done, she returned to the bathroom to wash the cloth, then sat by his side again to clean his hands. His cloak was open at the front, showing that the usual vest he wore beneath it was also stained with red.
When there was nothing else to clean, Sakura gave him more space. His shorter hair at the front was matted to the sides of his face. He still had his eyes closed and his breathing had evened out considerably, but she was sure he wasn't sleeping; not with her there, sitting so close. His face was very pale, the lines under his eyes seemed more sunken. And, despite his eyes, he seemed fine and healthy just the day before. There was something very wrong with this man.
She couldn't believe she was pitying Uchiha Itachi.
Sakura sighed deeply. "We should warn Pein-san. I need to examine you."
She could do nothing in the sense of figuring out what was affecting his body without Pein knowing. Chakra was necessary, after all. For the intensity of the coughs and the amount of blood being expelled, it wasn't anything simple and it already was in an advanced state.
Her words seem to interest–or scare–him because he opened his flat eyes to fix them on her.
"No."
Her eyebrows raised incredulously. "Excuse me?"
"I do not need to be examined."
Sakura scowled. "Your condition is nothing simple." He was the stubborn type of patient, then. Just one of the worst. "And I should be the one to determine that, Uchiha-san."
Itachi blinked slowly. His slight narrowed eyes were directed at her face, but not really focusing on anything. This gave away his unseen vision easily, something that wasn't so clear the last time she healed him. He was just looking at her general direction.
"Not when there is no need," Itachi answered in that same plain tone.
"No need?" she demanded, irritated. "Not five minutes ago you were half dying. Do you have any idea of how much blood you manage to expel?" she shook her head in disbelief. It was unbelievable they were here, wasting time having this conversation. "How come there's no need? Do you have a death wish?"
His face darkened suddenly, but instead of appearing menacing, which surely was his intention, he looked more sickly, if that was even possible. She was taken aback and felt her eyebrows furrowed in concern.
"Do us both a favor, Haruno-san, and let this go." His eyes closed momentarily and he cleared his throat. It sounded like it still had mucous secretion. "Forget this ever happened and do not mention it to anyone. That is my wish."
His tone was final. Sakura didn't agree, but she couldn't force him to do something he didn't want. Her part was complete. At least she tried.
Sakura rose from the bed and made it to the door, feeling like this wasn't enough. Before leaving completely, though, she turned to his weak figure again.
"You know, I once had a patient like this," she started, watching as he opened his faraway eyes and slowly turned his head in the direction of her voice. "He ended up dying."
It wasn't a don't tell me I didn't warn you type of thing; she really did have a patient who had basically the same symptoms. His were more severe and he was older, but it was probably the same disease.
It was a last ditch effort to make him rethink his choice, but he would probably just be another one.
It was a sad reality she couldn't change this time.
Itachi didn't say anything, merely watched her until she left the room.