Hello, everyone! I'm so sorry for the delay. Both of my computers (the laptop and the desktop) have been very weird lately, and they finally shut down. I tried to update, but the file had errors or something. Anyways, I'm updating right now, so that's good :)
I have made the decision of not continuing the List of Gratitude anymore. It takes too long so find out who has left reviews and alerts. It does NOT mean that I don't appreciate your response to my story. It just means I want to update faster for you. Reviews are always, always appreciated.
Before we go on with the story, let me remind you that all recognizable characters and settings belong to the amazing Stephenie Meyer!
The response to my groan was immediate. Edward, who had been leaning over me, leaned in even closer so that his face was literally three inches away from mine. His anxious eyes searched my face for any other signs of stress or pain. He spoke quickly, his delicious breath fanning my face. "What's wrong, Bella? Do you need medical help? I would take you to Carlisle, but he's in Maine with the rest of the family. If it's an emergency, I can help you, I guess. I've been to medical school a few times . . ." While Edward babbled panickedly, I was busy fantasizing about his cold lips on mine, my hands in his hair, tasting his sweet breath . . .
I shook my head, meaning to shoo away the disturbing thoughts, but Edward thought I was answering to his babbles. He pursed his lips and continued to stare.
During this little babbling and fantasizing, Jacob was trying to push Edward off my bed. He wasn't making much progress even though he was pushing with all his might.
Jacob finally gave up with a huff. Edward smirked at his. "Are you done now, pup?" he taunted.
Jacob scowled and started to growl. Abruptly, his scowl turned into a victorious smile, and I was flung off the bed and into his arms. I looked at him, surprised.
Jacob planted a kiss on my lips, and I relaxed instantly. "Yes," he smirked at the surprised Edward.
Edward narrowed his eyes and got off the bed. I noticed that he was in a new set of clothes. An emerald green turtleneck clung to his body, emphasizing his muscles, like the one he had worn yesterday. His beige pants were slightly wrinkled from sitting-or parly lying-on the bed. Edward felt my gaze and looked up, smiling brilliantly. I blushed, and looked back at Jacob.
Jacob was staring at me worriedly, but his worry didn't seem to be entirely on my health anymore. His deep, dark brown eyes searched my face, missing nothing. I winced, knowing that my blush would give away everything he needed to know.
Jacob looked up and gazed at Edward meaningfully. After a minute of hesitation, Edward nodded and started towards the window. I panicked. Was he leaving already?
"Edward?" I croaked. I cleared my throat. "Are you leaving already?" I tried to make my voice as casual as possible, but it sounded too pained, even to me. Edward turned, and it was easy to see from his smile that he was satisfied with my response.
"No. Jacob just wants a moment with you. I promise not to leave, so don't worry," he assured. He gazed at me, showing only love in his eyes, then turned and jumped out the window.
It was silent for a moment. I stared out the window, and I could feel Jacob's eyes on me. Jacob put me down gently, holding onto me until I gained my balance. When I was safely set on my fett, he turned and walked to the other side of the room. I froze.
Jacob didn't say anything. He just stared at the pictures of us that I had pinned on a bulletin board. One tense minute passed.
"Jacob?" I called hesitantly.
He didn't turn or make any other sign that he had heard me. I frowned and took one hesitant step towards him. He didn't object, so I walked up to him slowly, giving him time to step away if he wanted to. Since he didn't, I wrapped my arms around him from behind, but he stayed motionless.
"Jacob." My voice was even softer now. I doubted he could hear, even with his sharp hearing.
He sighed and started to turn. I unwrapped my arms and took a step back. I looked up, and I was sad to see that the cold mask I had thought as gone for good was back.
"Jacob, I'm sorry," I whispered.
Jacob closed his eyes, and his hands started to shake. "It's settled, then? You're leaving me?"
"No!" I shouted, horrified. "Why would you think that?"
He opened his eyes. I flinched at the anger in them. He had never set those kinds of eyes on me. Whenever he looked at me, he would smile lovingly, even if he was furious at somebody. Even when we fought, he had been more sad than mad. "I'm not that stupid, Bella. I can see it in your eyes that he loves you, and you love him back."
I didn't say anything. I wanted to object, but I knew he would see through the lie easily. Jacob continued to glare accusingly.
"Jacob," I murmured a while later, "I won't lie and say that I have no feelings for Edward, no matter how badly I want to. But that doesn't mean I'm leaving. I need to think things over."
"So you'll stay for now, but you might leave with him later?" he growled.
"Yes," I whispered, scared to say more.
Jacob started to vibrate convulsively. He started towards the window. I followed him, reaching out, but he slapped my arm away. A stab of pain shot up my arm. I clenched my teeth, supressing a cry. Tears started to well up, but he didn't see, because he was climbing out of my window. He disappeared.
I stared out the window and into the peaceful, sunny day. I could hear birds chirping cheerfully outside. I walked over to the window, shut it, locked it, and drew the curtains. Then, I stumbled to the bed, collapsing into it.
The tears I had been holding back spilled over, but I didn't try to stop them. I let them pour out.
Sleep took over my senses as I watched my tears make dark circles on Edward's brown coat.
I woke up at the sound of Charlie clumping around downstairs.
I blinked a few times and looked around the room. It was completely dark except the green light from my alarm clock. I blinked and tried to make out the numbers. It was seven-forty.
As I got up, I grimaced at the pain on my arm wher Jacob had unintentionally hit me. I touched it, and gasped in pain. I knew I was going to have a huge bruise by tomorrow. I changed into a long sleeved shirt that would cover the soon-to-be-bruise and hurried to the bathroom. The reflection of me in the mirror confirmed my fears-I looked exactly like I would after crying my eyes out.
After washing my face with cold water, brushing my hair and teeth, and applying some make up to hide the dark circles circling my eyes, I checked the mirror again. I grimaced at my empty, sad eyes. I tried to smiled. Better.
I ran down the stairs, which was a huge mistake without Edward or Jacob around. Halfway down, I missed a step and fell down.
"Bella?" Charlie called from the living room. He hurried over and kneeled down next to me.
I winced at the pain on my hips. "I'm fine. Or I will be," I added at Charlie's incredulous expression.
As a worried Charlie checked for any injuries I was trying to keep from him, I saw Edward's anxious face outside the window. I bit my lip when Charlie poked the place where Jacob had hit me, and shook my head no.
Charlie finished his inspection and straightened up. Edward disappeared. "When you get your own place, make sure that it has no stairs," Charlie joked as he helped me up.
I grinned, relieved that he wasn't making a fuss. "Sure, Dad. I was just thinking about the same thing."
We walked to the kitchen, where I was surprised to see a table set for three. A huge bowl of spaghetti rested in the middle.
"I was at Billy's today, and he sent this," he gestured to the bowl of spaghetti, "because he thinks you deserve a break from all the cooking you do for me and Jacob," he explained. "But honestly, I think he just wants to show off his new cooking skills."
I laughed, remembering how proud Billy had been when he first cooked for us after his first cooking lesson down at the reservation.
"So, where's Jacob?" Charlie asked as he got up to get some water. I stopped laughing at once and looked down.
Charlie turned when I didn't answer. "Well?"
"Jacob had to go down to see his friends today," I answered in an expressionless voice. It was the best I could do. Charlie's question had brought back a new round of pain: the pain of Jacob's absence.
"Oh, that's too bad."
We ate in silence. Charlie had noticed my discomfort, but he didn't question me, for which I was very grateful.
As I was cleaning up the table, the phone rang. I ran to get it, knowing it was Renee making her almost-daily calls. No one called except her during this time.
As I had guessed, it was my happy, carefree mom who spoke when I got the phone. "Hey, honey. Have you changed your mind yet?"
I smiled. Renee had been trying to make me come over and visit her in Jacksonville for spring break, which was in two days. I had refused everytime because I didn't want to be away from Jacob for any length of time. I started to refuse like I always did, but something entirely different came out of my mouth.
"Sure, Mom. I'll buy a plane ticket right now. See you tomorrow night."
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