I own nothing you recognize. Only original characters are my own.
Chapter Nine
By the time we got to the new charter's clubhouse my thighs were on fire. We'd only made two stops and they were just to use the facilities and stretch. I didn't have enough time to truly work out my cramped muscles. When we finally stopped in front of the clubhouse I couldn't stop my groan of appreciation.
" Now you can stop plotting the destruction of my bike babe. Shit, what went down here?" I looked up with him and saw the bullet holes dotting the club's exterior. My breath caught and I tried not to think about what went down, tried not to think of my man dead from another bullet wound.
"Let's go." He took my command in stride and I wondered if I was becoming even more like my mom than previously thought.
As I walked in I felt my fear turn to hurt and pain as I saw Juice sitting at a table with a girl in a bikini top and little shorts whose hand was conspicuously absent as Juice made noises I was all too familiar with. It took everything in my power to keep from stalking to the table and ripping off the offending hand and appendage. I saw him give his "O" and a grunt and she removed her hand to wipe off the excess with a napkin. Just as Juice was coming around, Bobby came out of the back with a girl under each arm and caught my eyes.
"Shit!" It came out louder than he intended and Juice looked up with a satisfied grin that vanished from his face as soon as he got a look at me.
"Baby!" He got up just as I turned and walked back outside. I heard some scraping and looked back to see that he had tripped over his pants and was trying to get to the door.
I said nothing and just kept walking, I would have went into the desert if a pretty woman in a tiny skirt and cowboy boots hadn't grabbed me by the arm and pulled me after her.
"Hey, it's not a good idea to go out there. There are Mayans around." She gave me a look and her eyes lingered on my wrist, "You an Old Lady?"
I looked at the tattoo and felt my throat close. How could I reconcile what I just saw in there? I trusted him and the sad thing was that I still did. The motto "what happens on a run, stays on a run" flashed through my head and I didn't know what to do. I felt the first tear escape and the girl brought me to a picnic table in a little patch of shade. I took off my duffle and set it on the table as I sat down.
"I'm gonna get you water, ok, just stay here. It's not safe to go wandering the desert." She went in and the tears started falling. I had resolved that I was going to have a little cry, and then I was going to find this Jury guy and start the paperwork. I'd get it done in record time and find a ride back to Charming. I needed time to think.
"Here's the water. I saw Juice in there getting held back by the brothers. I'm gonna guess that you're Milla. All he could talk about since he got here was that he was going to marry the most beautiful, smartest woman in the world. It was nice to hear someone around here talking like that. That guy he came with, Tig? Well he called him a fag and wouldn't give it up until he indulged with the other brothers. It meant nothing babe, he's yours through and through. I've seen enough guys who couldn't give two shits about their old ladies; you have the real deal here. You should see how he looks now. I didn't know a guy could look like that." I sipped the water as she put a comforting hand on my arm. "I've already told Ginger that this was a one off thing, she won't touch him again."
"What's your name?" I asked as I steadied my voice.
"I'm Cherry and I've appointed myself your guardian." She smiled and I couldn't bring myself to smile back.
"What if they need a beer or a blow?" I was hurting and felt the need to hurt back but she just smiled.
"Then I tell them I'm with the Pres' daughter and they can wait. Wanna stay out here for a while or go in where there's air conditioning?" I was starting to sweat but I refused to go where Juice was.
"I need to speak with Jury. I'm supposed to do the administrative work." I decided that simple answers were best, especially since my heart was trying to crawl out my throat.
"Alright, let's go talk to Jury." She came around to where I was sitting and hauled me up. She threaded an arm with mine and we walked into the bar. I kept my eyes to the floor and didn't even look up when I heard Juice.
"Milla! Baby! I'm so sorry, please look at me. It meant nothing!" He almost sounded like he was getting hysterical.
"Grow a pair. You don't have to apologize for being a man, especially not to your property." I bristled as I heard Tig, leave it to him to make things worse.
Cherry stopped me at a table and I finally looked up to see an older man, probably a few years older than my dad with a pleasant smile and kind eyes. He broadened his smile and motioned for someone to bring me a chair. Cherry left my side and got a chair for me and one for her.
"Cherry this is business, go see if anyone wants a drink." She started to get up and I stopped her.
"Mr. Jury, please let her stay. She's been so good to me since I got here. I'd just feel better if she stayed." He nodded and Cherry sat down.
"It's just Jury. Clay said you're an administrative genius. I need you to take care of my forms and files. We have the Sons of Anarchy Charter form to fill out and the docs adding Clay as a silent partner to former Tribe businesses. Just a bunch of shit I don't want to deal with. Clay said you'd be willing to work with his Intelligence Officer to do the online stuff, you still up for that?" He asked as he looked to where Juice was sitting with his head in his hands.
"I'll do whatever I have to to help the club. Where can I find your office?" He smiled congenially and made a gesture with his fingers and a very handsome man with long hair and sharp, bright eyes came over, "This is Simon, he's our Club Secretary, he'll be able to help you find things."
Simon gave me a curt nod and I could see him sweep his eyes over my body and a small smile of appreciation upturned the corners of his mouth. I held out my hand and rather than shake it he leaned down and kissed it. He'd seen the tension between me and Juice and decided to capitalize on it. Cherry tensed beside me as Simon refused to let go, rubbing his thumb over my hand in an intimate gesture and I found myself liking the feel of his hands, they were softer than Juice's and it had been a long time since I'd been openly appreciated. Suddenly there was the sharp sound and a thump that had to be a chair crashing and before I even had a chance to react Juice was on Simon, clutching his cut and pinning him to the opposite wall. He grabbed Simon's hair and slammed his head against the wall a few times before he punched him in the gut and spun him around slamming him down on the table where we were sitting,
"Look you asshole, you see that woman there? You see her?" He punctuated his questions by slamming Simon's head against the table, "She's mine, Mine! You don't touch her again or I'll take off your hand and shove it up your ass."
"And you." He let go of Simon and grabbed my wrist.
He hauled me out of my seat and dragged me to the rooms in the back. I followed, truly scared of him for the first time. He kept opening doors until he found an empty room and he threw me into it. I managed to catch myself on the bed but not before my hip slammed into the nightstand. I rubbed the area and looked to where Juice was leaning against the door, his body thrumming with tension and his fists clenched tight. I said nothing and just waited to see how it would play out, it wouldn't end in sex unless he was willing to take me against my will and I had faith he wouldn't do anything as irreparable as that.
"How could you humiliate me like that? First, you don't listen to my order. Second, you ignore me to talk to a sweetbutt. Third, you openly flirt with another brother. I feel like hitting you right now. I've never wanted to hit you. Maybe, I should, maybe then you'd learn what it means to be an old lady. To shut up and do as you're told. Not to overreact over a meaningless hand job." Nothing was making sense; the words coming out of his mouth were not his words.
"Who are you?" I spoke is as soft a voice I could manage and he finally looked me in the eye. His eyes were hurt but there was also steel in them, something new.
"It's still me; Tig just opened my eyes to a few things. I'm a prisoner to your pussy. I let you manipulate me and control me. I haven't gotten pussy other than yours for the last two years and that's not right, a man has needs." He unclenched his fists and flexed them; they must have heart from the assault on Simon.
"You apologized to me in there, did you mean it?" I was afraid of the answer. I started playing with my engagement ring; it didn't feel right anymore nothing felt right.
"Yeah I meant it. She was nothing, hell I could go back in there and fuck her against the bar and it would mean just as little. Maybe I should. What would you do if I did?" There was fear in his eyes.
"I'd go to the office, start the paperwork and work with you to patch the systems. Then I'd go home, pack my stuff and move in with Luanne. Then I'd separate myself from everything in my life that's "Us". Maybe I'd move on someday, but I doubt it." I kept my voice even and decided that I deserved a fucking Oscar because inside I was dying.
"Dammit Milla! If you left it would kill me. I wouldn't have given you that ring if you weren't everything to me. I fucked up; I fuck up all the time. Can't you forgive me, like you always do when I do stupid shit?" Now I was hearing my Juice, the Juice I loved. He pushed off the door and knelt in front of me grabbing my hands and pressing them to his lips.
I had nothing to say, I was hurting and still confused by everything he said earlier. Part of me wanted to tell him everything was ok and another part of me wanted to castrate him and still another part wanted to go out and suck off Simon to teach Juice a lesson. All of these were warring as Juice looked up and searched my face. It must have been unreadable because he got on the bed beside me and drew me into his arms. Despite everything it still felt like the only place in the world where I belonged but I couldn't cave, my Morrow and Madoc blood wouldn't allow it. I pushed him away and walked to the window.
"What about being a prisoner to my pussy? Aren't you going to put me in my place? Would it make you feel better if you hit me?" I felt the heat leech out of my blood and I couldn't understand how Mom could survive this shit. I knew Dad got strange on the road and I knew she knew. Had she ever seen it? Walked in on Dad? I couldn't imagine it because Dad was still alive and kicking.
"Shit, shit shit! Why did I listen to Tig? Who listens to Tig about relationships? Baby, I didn't mean any of it, I love your pussy, yours is the only pussy I want. That sweetbutt in there I never would have fucked her, I probably couldn't have gotten it up. The only reason the hand job worked is because I got revved up listening to your voicemail from last night. The one where you told me what you weren't wearing to bed." He stood behind me, not touching, just a presence at my back. "I have no place to put you Milla, you're my partner, yeah that sounds gay but it's true. You're my fucking partner and I'd probably have died of some stupid shit if it weren't for you."
He turned me around and lifted my face to his. He must have been surprised by what he saw because he released my face and pulled me into his arms and I stayed still. He held me for a long time before I pushed him away and went to the door.
"Are we ok?" The hope in his voice almost made me flinch.
"Not by a long shot." I opened the door and stepped out, only to find Cherry sitting across the hall.
"Jury wanted me to make sure you were ok. He's gonna have me take you to the office and get things started. Despite what you may think I do know how to file." She led me to a satellite building which housed Jury's office. It was surprisingly spacious with a workstation and a nice computer system. There was even a workspace set up for me on the desk facing the computer.
I got to work right away and eventually the knot constricting my throat and heart unwound itself and I could joke and laugh again. Cherry was great company, smart, great sense of humor and she held no illusions about her life. She was definitely Old Lady material. After about hour two of paperwork Juice came into the office and got to work on the computer. Cherry talked to him but I only gave syllable answers or occasionally helped him fill out something. Eventually I needed a break so I went out to take in the cooling air and received my first call of the day.
"Hey doll, how's the paperwork going?" My Dad's voice was welcome so I didn't even have to modulate my voice.
"Good, I've got the first stretch done. Did you know that the Devil's Tribe owned twenty seven legitimate businesses? That's a ton of shit I have to process." I leaned against the wall and enjoyed a breeze that had sprung up
"I'm glad it's getting done. How are you Milla? Bobby's worried you're going to off yourself." Leave it to my Dad to be painfully blunt.
"I'm not a selfish coward Dad. Well, I'm putting the wedding on hold, that's a given. Juice took some relationship advice from Tig, now I'm not sure he's the same man I fell in love with." I didn't know where my honesty was coming from; Dad didn't need to hear that shit.
"No one in their right mind would take relationship advice from Tig. You need to figure out what to do and I'll let your Mom know what's up. Keep working and I'll see you in a couple of days. I love you kiddo." I could hear his smile over the phone.
"I love you too Daddy." I hung up and turned around only to find myself face to chest with Juice.
"You're putting the wedding on hold?" There was accusation in his voice.
"We're not exactly in pristine condition Juice. We have shit to work out before I can be Mrs. Jean Carlos Ortiz." I intentionally used his given name to piss him off.
"What's there to work out? I fucked up, I'm sorry we move on, it's simple." He crossed his arms as if daring me to a rebuttal.
"This is anything but simple. Yeah you fucked up. Did anyone tell you I was coming down today?" That was a question that had been plaguing me since I had gotten there.
"You think I'd let another woman touch me if I knew my baby was coming? Use some sense Milla." I laughed and leaned against the wall again.
"Honestly, I never thought you'd let another woman touch you period. I feel so fucking stupid and naïve. Was this the first time, have you gotten any other "assistance" on runs?" I wasn't afraid of the answer anymore; if he told me he had I could process it.
"Yeah, I was honest before. Yours is the only pussy I've gotten since we got together. Losing you would be worse than death. Death would be over quick but if you left me I'd still have to see you all the goddamn time and know that I couldn't touch you, couldn't fuck you, couldn't make you come with all those hot little sounds. Shit Milla! Now you've made me horny and you're the only one that can fix this." I looked down and saw that there was indeed a bulge present.
"I'm sure Ginger could help you with that." I pushed off the wall and walked in the office with Juice trailing behind me.
"Who the fuck is Ginger?" He asked as I sat down and Cherry handed me a folder of business receipts and deeds.
"She's the piece who was giving you a handjob." Cherry was ever so helpful.
"See baby, I don't even know their names. Let's finish up here and I'll take you to one of the rooms and show you just how much better you are, just how much I need you." He sat down opposite me and gave me puppy dog eyes, ruined slightly by the erection I knew he still had.
"That reminds me, Cherry, are there any motels around here I could spend the night in? I really don't feel like staying in the clubhouse."I finished getting the folder ready for Rosen and handed it to Cherry to file in the box with the rest of the deeds.
"It's too dangerous, especially after what happened this morning. If you don't want to stay in the clubhouse I'm sure Jury could manage to put you up at his trailer." She handed me another folder.
"Naw, I guess I'll have to stay here. I think I can sleep in the office tonight." I started planning on where to put a bedroll when I heard Juice heave a sigh.
"There is no way in hell you're sleeping here. We'll take one of the rooms and you get the bed while I take the floor. I promise not to try anything. I'm not going to have you in any danger, no matter how pissed at me you are." I looked at him and had to look away, if I would have looked even a second longer I would have went to him. What he just said was the right thing to say on many levels. He would protect me at all costs but he wouldn't do something that made me uncomfortable and he wouldn't force anything on me.
"I can live with that." I finished up the folder and went outside to enjoy the sunset. It would have been romantic if the thought of my fiancée touching me didn't cause my stomach to turn.
Juice and I shared the room that night but he didn't keep his promise. I woke up in the middle of the night to find him in bed with me. Rather than leave I stayed in bed and fell asleep again. I was going to find a way to work things out. I loved him too much not to.