Nothing you recognize is mine, all original characters are my own.
Chapter Twelve
"So Kip, you moving in or what?" I asked Kip as he sat cuddled with Cherry on the couch.
"Umm, no...I thought… I just wanna be with my lady…umm...Milla…" He started to stammer and I laughed at his discomfort.
"She's teasing you baby." Cherry smiled and sighed contentedly while I sat in the recliner and read my book. I wanted nothing to do with whatever sport they were watching. I was getting to an exciting part of my novel when I heard the back door slam and the unmistakable sound of a chair scraping. He didn't come in to see us, so I knew something was up. I set my novel down and walked into the kitchen to find my man sitting with a brew and a thoughtful expression.
"What's up baby?" He looked up and waved me over.
"The Club's in trouble Milla. We all need to come up with money and I'm tapped." He sighed and set down his beer.
"How much money does the club need?" I reached and took his hand in mine; he didn't protest or pull away.
"Two Hundred K in two days." I whistled and he nodded.
"Yeah, unless a miracle happens we're pretty much fucked." He picked his beer up again and took a long pull.
"What if I said I could help you out baby?" I looked down and thought about the ramifications of what I was about to do.
"Baby, everything we have is tied up in the house; even if you got an advance from Luanne we wouldn't have enough to even make a dent. What are you trying to tell me Milla?" He studied me and I rose and tugged him until he got up and followed me upstairs to the bedroom.
"Sit on the bed Juice." He did as he was told and I went to the loose floorboard. I lifted it up and started removing what I'd stashed.
"What is that shit?" He asked as he saw the gun and the box, I had hidden the birth control inside the money box for less of a chance of discovery.
"This is my secret stash, everything I didn't want you to find baby. I have my berretta and in this box I have my birth control, a shitload of money and fake ID." He looked sharply at me when I mentioned birth control.
"Did you just say birth control?" He looked upset and I felt my stomach clench violently.
"Yeah, I've been on it since about a month before your Patch party. I'm sorry I never told you." I looked down and unlocked the box.
"You've been on birth control this whole fucking time. Makes sense, I thought my boys were swimmers and we've been riding bareback for a while. Shit Milla, why didn't you tell me?" He stood up and angrily paced the end of the room.
"I'm scared ok! The thought of having a baby, even your baby, scares me deep into my bones. If it had the flaw, died, it would kill me Juice. I'm not strong, not a survivor like my mother. I couldn't do it, can't do it." I started to cry and Juice sat down on the floor next me and sighed.
"You're one of the strongest people I've ever met and you're not alone in this. I'm with you forever; no matter what happens…you have me. I'll be strong so you don't have to baby. Look at me." He reached over and caressed my face as I turned to look at him. "I love you and nothing will change that."
He wiped my tears away and brought his lips to mine. He kissed me slowly and gently, biting my bottom lip as I started to pull away. When the kiss finally broke we stared at each other.
"I've got no more secrets. We're a clean slate." He reached his hand behind my neck and started to caress the skin.
"What about the shitload of money and fake ID?" He asked as he nodded to the open box.
I nodded and drew out a plain paper bag filled with money and a manila envelope. My birth control fell out and he pocketed it. I figured things were already out so I said nothing. I was already considering going off of it and it looked like he had made the decision for me.
"It's twenty five thousand. Before you say anything I wasn't going to use it to leave you. It was a reserve in case serious shit went down and I had to leave the country. I've been collecting it since I was sixteen and was involved in my first ATF raid. It terrified me and I wanted to know I could leave if I needed to. I got the IDs and papers a few years ago when all the shit was going down with the Nords. I figure I have you now so I don't need to worry, you'll protect me." I looked up and he nodded.
"Damn right I'll protect you. You sure you wanna give this up?" He looked at me and didn't even glance at the money.
"It's for the Club; you guys need it more than I do." I opened the bag and held it toward him; he looked in and grinned at me.
"Thank you baby." He leaned over and kissed me before he crawled over and started pressing me toward the floor.
"Babe, shouldn't you bring this to the clubhouse?' I asked as his hands moved to my jeans and he unbuttoned the top button.
"Doesn't matter if they get the money now or two hours from now. I want you baby." I couldn't argue with his logic and submitted to his very welcome advances.
After he made love to me by the bed we made our way to the actual bed and cuddled. It just felt good to be in his arms without any barriers between us anymore. I turned around and ran my finger tips over his face. He smiled lazily at me.
"What are you doing?" He leaned down and kissed me before he pressed our foreheads together.
"Just studying your facial structure, I love your chin and lips, I hope our kids get those, though I think I'd rather they have my ears. Sometimes your near absence of lobes freaks me out." He rolled us over and started tickling me while I shrieked.
"Freaks you out huh? My ears are just fine miss-perfect-everything." He leaned down and kissed me again while his hands stilled, before he pulled away and looked at me seriously.
"We're really gonna do this now aren't we?" He asked as he rolled to his side and propped himself up to look at me.
"Yeah we are." I smiled a tentative smile at him and he got thoughtful again.
"Let's make this thing official." He got out of bed and fished in his jeans pocket before he held his hand out to me and pulled me out of bed.
We walked into the bathroom and he had me stand by the toilet while he brought out the birth control pills. He opened the package and popped each pill into the toilet. Once every pill was accounted for, he flushed and threw the pill case on the garbage.
"It'll still be a few months before my hormones even out, but we can keep trying." He chuckled and held my hips in his hands while he leaned down and kissed my nose.
"I have to go to the clubhouse, give them this money then I'll be back and we can try again." He kissed me quickly before her went into the bedroom and got dressed again.
He grabbed the bag of money and made his way downstairs. I went to the closet and threw on a sundress before I went downstairs and saw Cherry and Kip asleep and naked on the couch. It seemed that they had the same idea Juice and I had. I averted my eyes but couldn't stop smiling as I put a blanket over them. I went to the kitchen and grabbed the landline; I needed to tell someone about everything that had just happened.
"Hey Mills." Hearing Donna's voice made me smile wider.
"Hey babe, you'll never guess what went down tonight." I could almost hear her frown.
"Is something going on with the Club, Opie's been gone a lot lately." Her accusation made me uncomfortable so I decided to spill everything that went down to her.
"Well there's always shit going on with SAMCRO but that's not what I wanted to talk about. I showed Juice my stash tonight." I could hear her gasp.
"Is everything ok? I heard a bike a little while ago, did he run out?" Donna loved reminding me that we were neighbors and I should visit more often.
"It's not bad Donna; actually I think things are pretty good. Umm, we're gonna try for a baby, he flushed my pills." I expected her to sound affronted, instead she laughed.
"He flushed your pills? Damn, oops sorry, darn." I could tell that Ellie and Kenny were still up.
"It was an official act, symbolically showing no more fear, but I'm freaking terrified right now." I could be completely honest with her about this.
"Honey, your family has a lot of health issues but you can't let that control you. You'll be an awesome mom and Juice will be an awesome dad. Just let things happen, you know you have me to help you through it, right?" Her voice softened and I felt my eyes tear up.
"Yeah, I know I have you. I should let you go and put the kids to bed, tell the little monsters I love them. I love you to pieces too, you know." I held the receiver and heard her chuckle.
"I love you just as much babe. Sleep tight and don't worry so much, everyone's scared at the prospect of having kids. Call me in the morning if you wanna talk." I agreed and we hung up.
I went to bed a few hours later with Juice's arms around me and contemplated my future. I had my family and the man I loved to support me and it didn't look too frightening anymore. With one last look at my man's freakish lobeless ears I giggled and snuggled closer, finally falling asleep.
Author's Note: If there's something in the story you think I haven't addressed or you would like to see more of, just let me know. I actually listen to you guys and your reviews are appreciated.