The Diary of a Fag-hag:

Dear Diary,

You know what's weird, Diary? Genjutsu. Genjutsu is really weird. And complicated! Not to mention cheap as hell in a battle. Of course, I'd never want Itachi to hear me say that. Genjutsu is like, his "thing," you know? I'll bet he hasn't had to physically fight someone in years, not that I hold it against him. Hell, if I could get the job done without getting my hands dirty that'd be great! Not that I really mind fighting or killing or anything. Itachi's different though... He never seeks out a fight(unlike Hidan, Deidara, or Kisame), and when he has to fight someone, there is no bloodlust in those deep red eyes of his. It's strange, especially since he's supposed to be this big time villain who murdered his whole family and all. When I first heard he was joining Akatsuki, I had a completely different image of him. When I met him I was very surprised at how calm he seemed, as if he controlled everything around him, planning it all out so things always went his way. I don't know why, but I feel like no one really knows the real Itachi. I think he's hiding something... but I'm not sure what.

Oh well, I guess it's not that important. After all, he's never done anything suspicious, I'm probably just being paranoid.

See, Diary, the reason I've suddenly realized how weird genjutsu is, is because of the incident that occurred yesterday...

I was passing by Kisame and Itachi's room and I heard this arguing going on inside. It seemed to be getting a little heated, and of course my fangirl senses were tingling, so I decided it couldn't hurt to try and mediate their fight just a little. Honest, I had good intentions when I opened the door into their room.

I opened the door, saw those spinning red eyes, and then black. I waited a few seconds, then slowly opened my eyes, only to find myself in some twisted alternate reality, obviously of Itachi's making. Everything was inversely colored and a silvery grey, except Itachi's eyes, which I could see glowing from where I was a few meters away. It took me a minute to get used to my surroundings. The sky went on endlessly, a few unusually colored clouds floating past every now and then. On the ground there were a bunch of walls, only a few feet thick, and about 12 feet tall, placed randomly and looking as if they were just there for decoration. They also seemed to go on for miles, although I didn't really see what use they were, since Itachi wasn't doing anything with them, except for one.

It was Kisame's voice that finally made me look over at the two of them and realize what was going on.

"Do you really need to use the black and white 'tachi?" he asked, staring down at his partner from his position; tied and hanging from one of the walls so he couldn't move a muscle.

There was a quiet, and then Itachi blinked, and colored instantly returned to the strange genjutsu universe, although it was muted. Suddenly, I realized how awkward it would be if they noticed I had somehow been sucked into the jutsu. It was pretty clear Itachi had wanted the conversation to be private, why else go to all the trouble of creating the alternate world? I hid myself behind the nearest wall, lucky for me, it was turned just at the right angle for me to still be able to see and hear what the two demons were up to.

I watched as Itachi slowly removed his akatsuki cloak and Kisame tried to turn his head to look at his newly returned colors.

"That's bet- YOW!" Even I was surprised when a sword suddenly appeared in Itachi's hands and sliced straight through Kisame's shirt, even nicking him a little in the chest and drawing a bit of blood. Kisame exhaled and stared down at Itachi patiently.

"Look, Itachi... I'm sorry, ok?"

Completely ignoring his partner's apology, Itachi used the sword slower to cut up the rest of Kisame's shirt. I could see the way Kisame sucked in his chest with each slice, trying to avoid any more bloodshed on his part. Can't say I blame him, I know I wouldn't last long in front of a glare like the one in Itachi's eyes.

After Kisame was completely shirtless, Itachi started to slice through his pants, and it looked to me like he was being even less careful where the sword went. Kisame was gritting his pointed teeth with every slice, but when the pants were finally just shreds on the ground, he let out a long exhale.

"I know you could just make the clothes disappear if you wanted to, why do you have to cut 'um off like this?"

Kisame made a good point, one that was ignored by Itachi who went back to making sure every piece of clothe was on the ground and not on Kisame. Then, I think I figured out why he didn't just vanish away the clothes. Ripping them off was waaaay hotter, and If you ask me... Itachi liked to watch Kisame squirm!

Suddenly the wall Kisame was attached to began sinking into the ground so he was his usual height and only a little bit taller than Itachi. The red eyed demon slowly reached up and pulled off Kisame's headband, tossing it to the ground a second later. From where I was standing, Kisame was starting to get nervous, although I wasn't really sure why. Itachi swept a hand through greenish blue hair and Kisame snarled, only making Itachi grab a handful of said hair and pull.

"Ow, ow, ow!" Kisame muttered, avoiding Itachi's sharp eyes, "I said I was sorry, didn't I?"

Itachi didn't reply, he just released Kisame's hair and grasped into the air with his right hand until the sword from before almost magically appeared there. He held the blade to Kisame's throat for a moment, and I felt myself swallow in time with the shark, worried about the thoughtful look Itachi had on his face. Itachi then moved the blade down and cut a line through one leg of the boxers Kisame was left with, ripping the rest and leaving him bare.

And just in case you were wondering, Kisame is the same color blue down there as the rest of him. *wink wink*

Now Kisame was gulping for real, pure terror was in his eyes as he watched Itachi run the blade down his chest towards a very sensitive area a bit lower. Kisame, who could do nothing but close his eyes and yell,

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

over and over again, was starting to really regret whatever it was he had done to piss Itachi off so bad.

I have to admit, even I was beginning to get curious as to what the hell he could have done! I mean, Itachi was really giving it to him good, and scary. I imagine it takes a lot to freak out a giant, half-man, half-shark... so what could possibly have made Itachi so angry?

Suddenly, the sword was gone from Itachi's hand, and his punishment changed forms just a little. He let his thin fingers roam Kisame's broad chest, and almost instantly the shark understood that something was different.

"Oh no Itachi please don't..." he begged as Itachi moved his hands lower.

This was where it really started to get good, Diary! I mean, I could see everything! I had a front row to the Kisame/Itachi show! And let me tell you... If I ever thought Itachi was sexy before this... that's nothing compared to how sexy and downright scary he looked when he was just inches away from stroking Kisame's now raging hard-on.

Itachi looked like a master at seduction, the way he almost gave Kisame what he wanted... but never really did it. The frustration was starting to show on Kisame's face and I understood why he would be even more terrified of this than he had been of the sword. Of course, I was still curious as to why in the world Itachi was doing this, especially since it seemed to me that, whatever he had done, Kisame was very, very sorry.

He kept mumbling it over and over as he watched Itachi slowly strip in front of him, giving him a show that it was quite clear Kisame wanted more of. He was straining against the wall he was strapped to with intense desire to relieve himself and just to touch Itachi, at least, that's how it looked from where I was hiding.

"Holy fuck I'M SORRY, ok!"

Itachi stopped what he was doing, which had been blowing gently on Kisame's giant erection. He stepped back and raised his gaze confidently.

"For what?" he asked coolly.

Kisame, panting as if he'd just ran a mile, dropped his head for a second, then glanced back up. He made a very unhappy face, which Itachi ignored, and waited for him to reply. Finally, Kisame quietly muttered,

"For... trying to kiss you while you were sleeping..."

I stood, dumbfounded, behind one of the unused walls. That's all he did! He tried to kiss his while he was sleeping so Itachi had to use the nightmare genjutsu on him? I just didn't think that was very fair! Then I looked up and saw something in Itachi's eyes I hadn't noticed before; amusement. He liked having such control over Kisame, I could see it in the way he looked at him, all hung up on the wall, so painfully in the palm of his hand. Itachi was just using his anger as foreplay! He's way sexier than even I gave him credit for!

Kisame, on the other hand, didn't seem to understand as much, and it seemed that underneath the playful way Itachi was messing with Kisame, Itachi was serious about something too. Kisame tried formulating the right words a few times, until finally he just shouted,

"You looked so cute and innocent when you were asleep! You didn't have your guard up like you always do. I just wanted to see that Itachi for once..."

His plea was very heartfelt, even to me, the simple bystander(and fangirl). I think it got to Itachi too, because he moved closer to Kisame and held the taller mans face in his hand, trailing his fingers along his cheek and gills softly. He leaned in so I could barely hear when he said,

"I like you, Kisame. I shouldn't like you. You're rough and cruel, and murderously evil, not to mention a literal monster. I shouldn't have let you, but you broke into my heart."

I felt like I was going to cry, especially when Itachi leaned in to kiss Kisame's rugged lips, and the shark stopped him by muttering,

"But I'm still not first, am I?"

With a slight smile, Itachi closed the distance between their lips, and my tears began to pour. The kiss was very sincere, and seemed to hold both of their feeling in balance with each other. I wish Nagato would kiss me like that sometime...

At the same time, the wall Kisame had been pinned too started to fall back and transform. By the time it was flat, it was a bed with silken silver sheets and Kisame's body was free to move about. He took instant use of his freedom to cup Itachi's face in his hands as he deepened their kiss.

Soon he was pulling his large hands through Itachi's long black locks, tossing the band he used to tie it to the ground and letting it flow all down his pale back. Kisame broke apart from their kissing to make a track of love-bites all down Itachi's neck and chest, spending extra time around his obviously sensitive nipples. All the while his fingers moved down, quietly preparing Itachi's backside for later.

Once again, I found myself amazed at just how sexy it was possible for someone to be. Itachi made just the right sounds and just the right movements at just the right time. Kisame treated Itachi like a god, and it was obvious in the way he touched him. Like he was fragile, and something to be protected, but also with a breathtaking excitement that I felt as if I could even feel from where I was.

And here, Diary, is where I have to tell you something very embarrassing about myself. It's going to make me very glad this is a private journal and isn't going public! See, I have a little... problem... when I see too much hotness all at one time. It was bad enough that I was crying because of how sweet Itachi and Kisame were to each other! Now... with all the insanely gorgeous sex going on right in front of me, as if a really good porno were being acted out live, but better, I just couldn't help it! I- I- I... I started to... drool... I didn't even notice it, and then all of the the sudden it was dripping down my face! I was so shocked and embarrassed I nearly got myself caught. I suppose it could have been worse... It could have been a nosebleed. Oh shit... I just jinxed myself, didn't I?

Anyway! Back to Kisame and Itachi in bed! It seemed like Kisame had gotten impatient, and Itachi actually felt the same. Kisame was sitting up halfway, with Itachi on top, and then the dark-haired demon slowly impaled himself onto Kisame. Kisame threw his head back with an animalistic snarl, but it was nothing compared the the cry Itachi let out. I'd never thought I'd never hear the reserved Uchiha make a sound anywhere near what that! There's no good way of describing it, except that he was in pure ecstasy.

The way Kisame and Itachi moved seemed like slow motion. They were beautiful, and I know I have to take back every thing I ever said about Kisame being ugly. It was obvious from the way he held Itachi that he felt a great deal for the younger man, maybe he even loved him. That was enough for me. He would have my respect as long as I lived for that reason.

Itachi is a complicated individual. He always seems too calm, too together, or too intelligent for the things around him. But when he was, to put it vulgarly, letting Kisame fuck him, he looked much more peaceful.

They both came at the same time, together, and when Itachi collapsed, I just barely saw Kisame catch him before it all faded, and I was back in the doorway of their room staring into black eyes instead of red. I turned and left as quick as I could, rushing back to my room so I could wash off the drool that was dripping from my chin.

I'm not sure if Itachi knew I was there, but from the way he smirked at me before I ran away... I have a feeling that nothing really slips by him. I think he knew I was there the whole time. Somehow, I feel like I should thank him, but if I did, he would probably just deny it.

If I regret one thing, it's not getting any of it on film. Genjutsu is a funny thing... if you aren't careful, you could confuse it with a really strange dream...

I don't have anything special to go with this, but I think it's a darn fine chapter! I like making KisaIta stuff sweet... idk why. It just seems like if they really were gonna do each other, it'd be sweet. And I think that the way Kisame treats Itachi in the real Naruto is a bit sweet in it's own way... XD

Please review!

KeikoPanda102