Diary of a... Girl.

Dear Diary,

I know this was supposed to be a journal to record all my wonderful fangirl findings relating to me housemates... but I need to write about something a little bit different today. I heard it's good to write down you're feelings when you can't say them out loud, and that kinda sounds like bullcrap to me, but I'll go ahead and give it a try anyway.

See, the problem, Diary is with my- my-

Dammit even that is a problem. I don't even know what he is anymore.

When we were younger, just naive, hormonal children, I follow my rash emotions and seduced him. For a while, everything was good, even great! We weren't happy, we've never had a taste of peace long enough to know what happiness is, but we were content, I think. I know I was, and I really did think he was as well. I could sense it when he held me, or when he said my name. I thought... it was love.

For me, it wouldn't matter what he did, who he became, or even what he put me through, I would follow him forever. He thinks I do it because he's my oldest friend and like my leader, but that isn't really why.

It's because I love him.

Oh, sorry, Diary, you don't even know who I'm talking about, do you? It's Nagato of course, it's always been Nagato.

He has such wonderful dreams, but he doesn't know how much I need him, how much I love him. I don't think he knows it at all. Every time I try to tell him or to get him to take me to bed, he either changes the subject or ignores it all together. It's starting to piss me off!

I don't even care which body he used, I just wanted him to touch me! It wouldn't matter even if it was just sex, he doesn't have to say anything as long as he shows me that he's still attracted to me. I'm so desperate i'd take anything I could get at this point. Even just a kiss...

I don't know what his problem is, and of course he'd never talk about it. I can't push him, either, because he isn't very strong lately, and I have to do my best to look after him.

Personally, I think sex would help his situation, but what do I know?

I guess I'll just wait it out. Maybe if he finally achieves peace we can be really happy together. Well, a girl can dream.

On a separate but less depressing note:

Nagato decided to let all of us go to a really fancy hotspring resort just outside of Amegakure. He figures that if he lets them out willingly they'll stop trying to escape and cause so much trouble all the time. I'm not sure how well that's going to work, especially since he's only sending his God's realm body and me along to babysit. We're leaving tomorrow.

The best part is the many yaoi opportunities that present themselves at a spa. Steamy open baths, private rooms, and relaxation; a recipe for romance!

Maybe I can finally catch Hidan and Kakuzu going at it. They've been particularly sneaky since the park incident and they figured out what I'm after. I snuck into their room using my wallpaper jutsu the other day, but Hidan was just putting his pants on. So not what I wanted.

Anyway, I do feel a bit better getting all that Nagato stuff off my mind, but sorry for being depressing, Diary. Wow, I should have started a diary years ago, this is really pretty fun!

I'm sure I'll write more soon,

-Konan

Sorry for the shortness but... yeah.

KeikoPanda102