Nearly finished :) Thanks for sticking with it, and thanks for the reviews. Let me know what you think of this chapter x

Chapter 16

"You're an idiot." Nancy repeated for the hundredth time. Catherine just shook her head, which was resting on in her hands.

"She hates me." She mumbled desolately.

"Well let's see; you refuse to be seen in public with her, you deny the relationship exists, you slam her into a locker and try to fuck her in the car. And when she actually comes back to give you a second chance, she finds you groping some random dude you met in a bar." She paused. "Yeah, I'd say it's a pretty safe assumption." Catherine glared at her darkly, not moving her head.

"Not helping sis." She muttered.

"What do you want me to say, Cathy?" Nance said tiredly. "You screwed up."

"I know." Cath ground out between her teeth.

"So..." Nancy pressed. "What are you going to do about it?"

"What can I do?" Catherine asked, looking up. She ran a hand through her hair wearily. "She's gone."

"So that's it? You're just going to sit here and mope." Catherine didn't answer, but her moody silence was enough. Nancy rolled her eyes and stood up. "You're pathetic." She sighed. "I'll call you tomorrow." She placed a kiss on Catherine's head and paused in the doorway to offer a final titbit of advice: "If you don't do something now, it might be too late."

x x x x x

Later, Catherine was curled up on the couch, pretending to read when she heard the familiar roar of Sara's motorcycle. She leapt up, running to the front door, her heart skipping with new hope. She flung the door open, just as Sara was raising her hand to knock. One look at the brunette, however, drained all of her hope. Sara stared at her with blank confusion for a moment, her hand still hovering halfway between up and down, and then her dark eyes clouded over with hurt.

"You came back." Catherine murmured quietly.

"I came for my things." She answered; her voice devoid of emotion. Catherine swallowed hard and stepped aside. She caught the scent of Sara's hair as she drifted past and had to clamp down on the surge of lust growing in the pit of her stomach.

In the bedroom – their bedroom – Catherine sat on the bed watching Sara pack a bag wordlessly, silent tears trekking their way from her blue eyes.

"You don't have to do this." She said at last, her voice hoarse. Sara didn't answer. A thought suddenly struck Cath: "You're lease is up." Sara nodded. "Where are you going to stay?"

"For now, Greg's couch. Then ... we'll see." She shrugged. Catherine shook her head slowly.

"You don't have to." She repeated. "You can stay here."

"No, I can't." Sara replied in a soft voice. She slung her bag over her shoulder and headed down stairs, followed closely by Catherine.

"Just one night then. You can have the spare room, or our room. I'll take the couch. Or you can have it... just, stay. One night." She rambled, trailing behind Sara all the way to the front door. Sara reached for the handle, and as soon as her skin made contact with the cool metal, she felt Catherine's hand close over her own. "Do you love me?"

"What?" Sara asked, looking over her shoulder into Cath's eager gaze.

"Do you love me?" She repeated, stepping closer, so they could feel each other's breath.

"Cath..."

"It's a simple question."

"Of course I do." Sara sighed. Catherine smiled weakly.

"So stay. Just one more night. Sleep on it." She pleaded.

"Why, because maybe tomorrow you won't have cheated on me?" Sara said sarcastically. Catherine's face fell.

"Please..." the blonde begged. "I know you don't want to leave. And I don't want you to." She paused. "Neither does Lindsey." There was a moment's silence.

"Cheap trick, Willows." Sara mumbled.

"Did it work?" Cath asked hopefully.

There was a dull thud as Sara's bag hit the floor.

x x x x x

Catherine didn't go to bed that night. She helped Sara set up the couch, since she refused the bedrooms, and checked on Lindsey. After that she just sat at the top of the stairs, leaning against the wall, waiting. Waiting until she was sure Sara was asleep.

After a while she decided to risk it and crept downstairs. Sara was curled up on the couch, her breathing relaxed and even. Catherine brushed the hair from her eyes and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. It was unbelievably tempting to crawl under the covers next to her, but decided instead to just watch her sleep.

And that's where she was 6 hours later, sitting Indian style on the floor, when Sara blinked her eyes open. "What are you doing?" She asked softly, letting her tired eyes drift shut again.

"Watching." Cath answered simply.

"Why?" Sara frowned and, though she couldn't see it, Cath shrugged.

"I like to watch you sleep." She said. Sara sat up slowly, letting her muscles wake up.

"Is that why you asked me to stay another night?" She asked, stretching. Catherine shook her head.

"I thought by morning I might have figured out a way to make you stay." She answered honestly.

"And have you?" She shook her head again, slowly.

"Just this." Without giving Sara a chance to react, Catherine knelt up and kissed her. It was a deep, passionate kiss. "I love you." She whispered. "I screwed up. And I know that I can say sorry a thousand times and it won't make a difference, because it's just words." She explained, taking Sara's hands in hers. She looked away to gather her thoughts. "Remember when we were first dating, and we were trying to figure out what counts as 'fourth base' when two women sleep together?" Well, I figured it out." Sara raised an eyebrow. "It's more of a sensual thing, like a joint emotion, rather than a physical act. It's when you let go; you trust them so completely that you're totally uninhibited. When, for that short space of time, you live off them; like they're your life support. And if they let go, you feel like you'd die." She swallowed back her tears. "That's what it's like all the time Sara – when I'm not around you it's like I'm drowning. And then you save me. I know I don't deserve another chance, but I have to try because if you leave then I'll drown. And there'll be no one to save me." She latched her eyes onto Sara's and waited for her to speak, drained from her little speech. Finally, Sara spoke, her voice thick with tears.

"Then why did you pounce on the first guy that walked past?" Catherine dropped her gaze, before lifting it back to Sara's face. There was only one answer she could give.

"I don't know." She sighed. "I wish I could answer that but I can't. But it did show me one thing: you're the one I need, the only one. No one else has the same effect on me that you do – it's like a different sense ... maybe I needed to be with someone else to recognise that for what it was." She shrugged helplessly, clutching at straws. "No one compares to you Sara, not even close."

Sara was quiet for a minute. When she did speak, she had lost all emotion from her voice again, which hurt Catherine almost as much as the words she spoke.

"You're right Catherine. It's just words."

Despite Catherine's desperate pleadings, clinging onto her with all her strength, Sara managed to reach her discarded bag and get outside into the early morning drizzle. Catherine practically crawled after her, still trying to pull her back. At the top of the wooden steps to the house Cath gave up, letting her girl go.

She watched Sara tear away from the house in a swirl of sand and gravel. Dust in the wind.

And Catherine was still there four hours later, sitting in the pouring rain with tears streaming down her face – still waiting for that guttural roar to come gunning back up the road. For her girl to come back to her.