summary: Exhausted from the events with her mother, the baby, and Ryker, Sarah takes a break and turns down Graham's next assignment. With her not there to intervene, Casey's Intersect plan is realized- Chuck is thrown into a bunker. When she learns the truth through a twist of fate, Sarah realizes all she missed out on in not taking that mission, and the gift she never got to know. Discovering the bunker has isolated Chuck and shut down the Intersect, she decides she only has one choice: to fix it. What she finds in him, and he in her, might just change both of their lives.
note: Thanks for all the reviews. Any mistakes are my own because I am a tired soul lol. Here we go again!
disclaimer: I don't own Chuck, screens, or YouTube. I do actually own a mini screwdriver keyring. Thank you, Christmas crackers.
Well, as days ago, he's had better. A few worse, but this definitely isn't up there as a banner day.
The ties around his wrist are loose enough he can move them, but tight enough that they're starting to chafe a little. The rope around his feet is making his ankles press against the chair awkwardly. And the chair itself is pretty mediocre. No lumbar support; his back is already hurting from just a couple hours here.
"We have to let him go," one of his captors, a young woman called Kayla hisses. She's the youngest of all the group here, he can tell, and the most driven.
"No. He knows our faces and our names," replies the tallest dude, Eric.
"And whose fault is that?!" Kayla replies. They glare over at Nate.
The guy reminds Chuck eerily of Morgan. If Morgan were part of a trio of criminals, who kidnap government agents at random.
Which is the nicest way of saying Nate is a little bit of an idiot. Just a little.
Because when they'd sprung Casey, Sarah and Chuck at their drop site earlier, and grabbed Chuck, a gun to his neck, dragging him away to their car-- Nate had apologized. And introduced the three of them. Before Kayla had thoroughly slapped him, and Chuck had just kept quiet.
Fulcrum giants, these three are not. And their guns are fake. But Casey and Sarah didn't know that-- Chuck didn't even know that until he was locked in their van with them.
Which was kind of his fault. They'd brought in Broussard yesterday, and he'd spilled about his middleman, or group of... middlepeople? Moving his merchandise. But he'd refused to give them more than a location. So the team had checked it out. Sarah had asked him to stay in the car since it was such an unknown. And he'd seen movement, which he now knows was Kayla watching them, and the glint of a weapon, and he'd gotten out to warn Sarah and Casey. And now...
They'd driven him across town, to an abandoned storage unit they're using as a base. It's not very well-equipped, filled with mostly boxes and some old painter's tables they're using as desks.
And they have no idea that Sarah and Casey will be outside by now, watching. Waiting to move in. His watch light flashes intermittently, reassuringly. Listening.
So he knows he has to get them to say something. Sure, Sarah and Casey can burst in and arrest the kids on kidnapping charges, but that doesn't help their mission. That doesn't bring down Broussard's empire. And that's how this life, this job, has to work. Always the bigger picture.
He clears his throat.
"Look, you guys really don't have to fight over me. I promise you, I'm nothing to those guys I was with-- they don't care about me."
Kayla rolls her eyes, looking over at him.
"You would say that. That's what the government trains you to do, to earn our trust."
He snorts.
"You think the government trained me?! Oh, that's funny, that's hilarious."
Nate shuffles closer.
"Why is that hilarious?"
"Have you seen the US government right now, dude? The idea they're spending money on someone like me-- a college dropout who worked at a Buy More until a couple months ago, oh, that's funny."
Eric frowns.
"You're bluffing."
And just like that, he's got all three of them listening, and interested. Bingo.
"I'm not," he reassures them, making up a story on the fly. "Yes, they are government agents and I was with them. But I'm not important, at all. I'm an informant, for a bunch of agencies. I have a few connections from the Buy More-- even bad guys need tech support. So I just tell them the stuff that I see or hear about. They were following a lead today and they brought me along. They don't even know who you guys are!"
Damn. He wonders when he got so good at lying.
Eyeing him, Kayla shakes her head.
"I don't believe you. They were there for us, they must know who we are."
"Okay. I mean, you should believe me. But seriously, I have no idea who you guys are-- besides your intros, thanks Nate. I don't know what you do." To keep them believing him, he hams up the ignorance a little. "And the government definitely don't give a crap about three people what, making fake t-shirts in a storage unit? Selling bootleg DVDs? I don't know, I'm lost here."
Eric grunts.
"I think I believe the guy."
Nate hums.
"Me, me too, yeah."
Kayla, though, looks less sold. Two out of three isn't bad. She steps closer, looking at him, still suspicious.
"What's your name, guy?"
"Chuck."
"You worked at a Buy More?" she asks. Ironically, she's picked the only bit of the story that is true.
"Yup. Dropped out of college and got stuck there."
Reaching to her pocket, she pulls out a smartphone.
"This is broken-- you know how to fix it?"
"Oh, sure," he shrugs, confident in this at least. Without even realizing it, she's picked the best thing to test him on. "Bring it over, talk me through what happened."
With a distrusting look, she does so, heading his way and showing him the screen. The display is flickering intermittently, colors fading at the sides, a fault he knows how to fix right away.
"I don't suppose you have a screwdriver around here?" Kayla frowns, and he shrugs. "Never mind-- anyone wanna free my arm and I can fix this screen?"
Eric glares at him, coming over and loosening one hand.
"No funny business."
"None, I swear-- but I do have to reach into my pocket, if that's okay? Unless one of you wants to do it for me." Nate recoils. "Yeah, I figured."
He tugs his keys out, switching them around until his mini screwdriver is in his hand.
"You have a screwdriver on your keys?" Kayla asks, and he grins. He's aware, trying to talk to her could be misinterpreted, so he shrugs, adding to the cover, making his motives as innocent as he can.
"Yeah, my girlfriend thinks it's weird, too. Old Nerd Herd habit."
Kayla smirks a little.
"Girlfriend?"
"That surprising?" he mutters, only half paying attention as he unhooks the screwdriver.
Eric scoffs.
"I'll say."
Suppressing an eyeroll at the jibe, he focuses, instructing Kayla to turn off her phone and hold it a certain way for him, as he manages to eventually pry away the screen.
"What about you?" he asks quietly, as Eric busies himself sorting out boxes. He aims for conversational, casual. "You got anyone?"
"No time," she tuts. "Maybe when this is over. And I can ditch these two losers and go find someone."
"The two losers not your type?"
She snorts.
"That's one way of putting it, guy. Beyond the wrong type."
Ah. He shrugs, keeping up the pretense that they're not about to be arrested in probably just a couple minutes' time.
"Well, let's hope you get outta here soon. Is it gonna be long?" he asks, quietly, just in case Eric is listening out. He doesn't let the question linger, instead lifting the screen up. "Can you grab that?"
She takes it, humming.
"Another day at least. We're waiting for our shipment, it's late."
Now that sounds like something. He keeps up the lie he's set up, still focusing on the phone.
"Ugh, been there. Buy More deliveries never made it to us in time."
She laughs as he repositions a wire, using the plastic back of the screwdriver to move it into place.
"Buy More, criminal world, all the same, huh?"
"Yeah," he says, distractedly. Or so he tries to sound. "Almost there-- can you turn it into the light a little? Thanks. So, is it your client who's late? Can you not just call them?"
She tuts.
"No, we're the client. We're just doing this last job, moving this merchandise for Broussard, then we can leave."
"Okay, give me the screen?" he asks, not even acknowledging what she just told him. He slides it into place, not risking a look at her. "Where are you gonna go?"
"I don't know. Some place nice. Broussard has wicked money, his payment should get me a nice place in the Caribbean."
He hums, reattaching the screen, before he sits back.
"All good, turn it on."
She does so, and he watches as she grins as the screen turns on, no flickering in sight.
"Damn, Buy More, you are good!"
Eric grunts, moving over, zip tie in hand.
"Maybe, but you're not going anywhere yet." he says, and Chuck sighs as he finds himself tied up yet again.
"Well, if anyone wants a phone fixed, let me know."
"Eric, he doesn't know anything," Kayla sighs.
Nate, squirrelly, nods.
"Yeah, he doesn't. We-- we should let him go."
"Not gonna happen," Eric growls, and Chuck sighs, sitting back.
And then the door gets kicked down.
"CIA, NSA, put your hands up!"
Eric and Kayla turn around, eyes wide, and Chuck grins as he hears the steady thud of boots as agents swarm in.
Casey appears, making a beeline for Kayla. Others take Eric. Nate, surprisingly, runs-- and finds himself staring at a wall of SWAT.
And a hand brushes Chuck's shoulder. He wonders when the touch became so familiar he can identify it without even seeing her, now.
He looks up to Sarah with a smile.
"Did we get it?" he has to check.
"Oh, we got it," she says with a smirk. "Good instincts."
"Thanks."
And it's strange to realize it really is instinct now. He knew he was wired, and that they didn't have enough on the guys to take them in. So he rambled. He talked. And, while feeling disarmed by him fixing her phone, Kayla incriminated them all happily. At some point, this sort of thing became easier, without him even knowing it.
But Sarah nudges his arm, hard.
"Hey. But don't ever do this again, okay? Getting kidnapped," she mutters, shaking her head, but he just smiles at her.
He knows she's mad because she cares.
She goes to untie him, just as Casey marches past them with Kayla.
"Your agent. He's good," Kayla says, and Casey grunts.
"Agent. He'd be so lucky," he mutters, dragging her away.
The binds loosen around his hands and feet, and he stands, stretching up and cracking his neck in relief. When he moves to head out, though, Sarah touches his arm, light.
"Hey, I'm serious. We were lucky, with these three, being so harmless. It won't always be that way, and I don't..." She shakes her head. "I asked you to stay in the car. Please, Chuck."
Maybe one day he'll do it. One day. But not today.
Not when it would mean letting bad guys get away. Or letting Sarah and Casey get hurt. He just can't let that happen.
"I know," he says, because he knows if he told her the truth, she wouldn't like it. And the truth probably also involves some things they're not really supposed to say.
It's her job to save him, not the other way around.
But with the way he feels about her, he can't just stand by.
She smiles wryly, pulling out her phone.
"I'm letting Ellie know you're okay."
He winces.
"Damn. She knows?"
"I told her right away," she says seamlessly, and despite himself he grimaces. He loves that his sister and Sarah are such good friends-- but it makes it easy for them to team up on him. For good reason, he knows, sure, looking out for him.
But Ellie knows he got himself kidnapped. Which means he's gonna have to face her.
"Well, I'm in trouble," he murmurs, and he just loves how Sarah grins at him, so knowing, as they head out of the storage unit and outside again.
Back at Castle, Beckman's debriefing is quick, thanking them all for their work-- Chuck isn't surprised anymore that she doesn't mention him directly, apart from saying it's concerning that the Intersect was kidnapped. Nothing about him as Chuck. But he's used to that by now.
When they're done, he does think for a moment about asking if Sarah wants to come over. It's been a while since they've managed to find the time to just watch a movie, be together. But it's been a heavy day, and while he doesn't think Sarah would mind if he just fell asleep on the couch, he minds. They're not exactly dating, but he tries to at least be awake when they get to spend time together. So once his report is done, he heads home, letting Sarah's smile across the Castle conference table warm him instead of her company.
And when he steps into the courtyard, he's not surprised when the door across the way opens and his sister emerges, sending him a knowing, familiar look. The kind of expression he got when he came back from school after he got into a fight to defend Morgan.
"Hey, sis," he says, and she closes the door behind her as she walks up to him. Through the window, he sees Devon on the couch, and he realizes why Ellie's out here.
"That was not a fun text to get from Sarah," she begins, and he sighs.
"I know. I should stay in the car and let Sarah and Casey get ambushed rather than trying to warn them."
"That's not what she means," Ellie says gently, and he sighs.
Yeah, that was petty. He nods, an apology.
"I know."
"She cares about you. And I do, too."
"And I care about her," he points out. And Ellie knows that too, of course, but he just thinks it's so fucked up that Sarah would never let him be hurt, but he's supposed to be okay with that not being the same with his feelings for her. "Look, I promise I'll try not to get kidnapped, or put myself in danger. But it's part of this life, and it's hard to avoid that. Every mission has danger-- today was supposed to be an easy mission, checking out a location."
She nods.
"I get it. And I know that none of this is planned or what you expect on any mission, of course I do." But she eyes him, serious, pleading. "But I want you at my wedding, little brother."
He nods. And he knows there's someone else she wants to be there.
But it's hard to find a man who doesn't want to be found.
So Chuck knows, the the least he can do, if he can't find Stephen, is make sure he's there himself.
"I know, sis. But you know how I am-- and you're the same. We want to help people, if we can. I can't just sit back when people I love are in danger." He shrugs. "It's Sarah. I can't."
She sighs, but he can see in her eyes that she gets it. She knows how he feels about Sarah. And she knows that no matter the danger, the hurt... he's always going to choose her.
Reaching out, she squeezes his arm gently.
"Okay. You're still coming for your scan tomorrow?"
"Yeah. But I didn't even flash today," he reminds her, and she sends him another knowing, sisterly look.
"But you were under plenty of stress," she points out, and he acquiesces.
"I'll be there."
And she just eyes him a moment more, like she's figuring something out, before she steps back, nodding.
"See you later."
And he says the same before heading into his apartment, trying to ignore the somewhat unsettled feeling deep in his gut. The unresolved sense of it all. Sarah wants him to stop putting himself in harm's way. Ellie wants the same. And hell, he wants it too. He didn't want to get kidnapped. He doesn't like fearing for his life.
But with how he feels for Sarah, he knows, he's never going to change. And that just leaves so much unsaid.
Knowing there's nothing he can do about it now, he turns the TV on, finding some music on YouTube to keep him company, then pulls out a microwave burrito for dinner later. Shrugging off his shoes and jacket, he heads upstairs to get changed out of his mission clothes.
As he passes his office, he smiles at the photo of him and Sarah, hung upon his wall, right by the doorway. Ellie had snapped it when they went on a double date, a walk through Griffith Park. His arms are around Sarah's waist, her smile so bright... It's perfect.
He moves on, walking past and-- he pauses.
There's a little red light on his webcam. Which means it's on. He always turns it off. Always. It shouldn't be filming him right now.
He blinks, heading into the room slowly, looking around for anyone who might've been here. But there's no one-- and that's more worrying; is someone watching him remotely?
He moves toward the desk, sitting down and about to reboot his computer-- when suddenly the screen comes to life, words appearing on it.
I BELIEVE YOU'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR ME.
He gapes. Is this... No. Surely not. Although this hack is... very, very cool. Closing his mouth, he weighs this.
"Who are you?" he asks aloud, going to type a similar question on the keyboard, but the words fade and more appear:
YOU KNOW WHO I AM, CHUCK. I'M ORION.
"You can hear me?!" he asks, and then he blinks, realizing that's really not the most pressing issue right now. "Um... right, yeah, I've been looking for you."
ARE YOU SECURE?
"Am I..." He's never been asked that before. Are there protocols? It feels like there should be protocols. "Uh, sure, I guess. I'm at home. This is my computer, I've safeguarded it."
GOOD.
And then, like this couldn't get any weirder, the screen flickers again-- and a figure appears onscreen. It's just a shadow, silhouette, but Chuck can tell it's a man. In a hat. Made up of binary code. It feels like something out of some modern PI thriller, and while he's unnerved, god this is also so cool.
"Hello, Chuck," says the voice. It's robotic, filtered.
But it's Orion. He thinks.
"How do I know it's really you?" he asks, and Orion moves a little-- hitting a button, Chuck thinks. Something appears onscreen, a symbol of some kind, and he frowns... before the flash hits.
He gasps, emerging from the flash with a sudden knowledge of the blueprints of a bank in downtown Washington, D.C.
Holy crap. Orion just made him flash. On cue. Orion knows he has the Intersect. Orion knows it's in his head.
"How did you know that would work?"
"Because I put those schematics into the Intersect," Orion says simply, and Chuck sits there, reeling.
Not only does the scientist know Chuck has the Intersect, he really did program it, and he knows what's in it in such detail that he can prompt a flash.
He gulps, unable to resist any longer.
"Do you know why I wanted to find you?" he asks, and Orion nods.
"You want it removed." He gapes. "I know everything, Chuck."
He sighs, running his hands through his hair. He knows he shouldn't just tell a stranger this. There are government protocols and rogue agents alike who mean he should never admit these things, never share to just an unverified stranger. But it's Orion, and...
"Look, it's, um. It's hell. I wasn't trained, nobody prepared me, and it's... taken a while to get it under control. And the government aren't gonna let me go with it. I'm gonna be stuck with this, in this life forever, and I never asked for any of this. I have a life I wanna live..." Orion just looks at him-- or at least, he doesn't move or say anything. So Chuck broaches the subject. "Can it be removed?"
"Yes." Orion says simply, and he jolts, sitting upright.
"What?"
"Yes, it can be removed. It requires some particular programming, but I can put something together."
"I..." Well, this feels almost too quick and easy. "You'd do that?"
"Yes. The Intersect... it was never meant to be used like this. Not in someone untrained. It was never supposed to put someone in danger, not this way."
He nods, right as his phone vibrates. With a wince, he pulls it out-- it's a text from Ellie. She forgot to tell him they have wedding food tasting next week.
"Sorry, that's my... neurologist. Checking in." Quite the timing for it, too, when he's here talking with the scientist they've been looking for for months. "She'll be glad there's a way out of this," he says with a smile.
But Orion shakes his head, immediate.
"You can't tell her, Chuck."
His voice is harder, somehow. Less pleasant and personable. More insistent.
Chuck pauses.
"What?"
"You can't tell your neurologist about this, about me," he repeats, and Chuck frowns.
"But... she's the reason I've been looking for you. She wants this out of my head-- trust me, you can trust her."
Orion shakes his head again.
"It's best, this way. This method, it's not something a neurologist would approve. On the surface, it'll look just like an Intersect."
He sighs, shaking his head. He's not gonna tell a stranger that Ellie would be fine with that because she's his sister; he's not gonna tell Orion that she's his sister at all.
But he doesn't seem to want to back down.
"She wants what's best for me," he tries again, and when the scientist stays stoic and quiet, he changes tack. "What about my handlers-- can I tell them?"
"Tell no one."
No one? At all? Okay, at that he has to protest.
"I... Look, my handler, Sarah, I have to--"
Orion shakes his head, cutting him off, and Chuck feels his stomach sink.
"You can't trust your handlers, Chuck," he says, and somehow Chuck knew those very words were coming. "I know that they tell you that you can. I know they might tell you that one day after all this, things will be better. But as long as they work for this government, you can't trust them."
He gulps, that strange unsettled feeling from earlier returning again. A sour taste in his mouth.
He knows this guy has dropped off the government's grid. He knows his own experiences are influencing his words here. And Chuck knows he can trust Sarah. He knows there will be a time after this when things are better, for them.
And yet it hurts to hear this. A small amount of doubt starts to creep in. Not about Sarah, but about using this scientist. About all of this ever ending. If the only person they know can get this thing out of his head doesn't trust Sarah, then how can this work? How will this ever end? He knows Sarah truly believes this will all be over one day... but does Chuck?
Orion continues, twisting the knife.
"If you tell them about me, they'll do everything they can to keep us from meeting, because they won't be able to confirm who I am. Even if they're looking out for your safety, they'll say you can't trust me. But Chuck-- you can only trust me."
No. No, it's Sarah. She knows how much he wants to find Orion. She wouldn't just give up because they can't prove who Orion is, can't guarantee they trust him. Surely not.
"This isn't negotiable." Orion continues, not giving this up. Chuck doesn't even know what to say. "I've been in hiding a long time, Chuck. There's a reason for that. I'll help you, but you can't tell anyone that we spoke. I'm sorry."
"I--"
"I'll be in touch soon with questions." He interrupts. "Once I start, the program should be done within a month."
And then he's gone, screen blank. The red light on the webcam fades out. Nobody's there, watching, anymore.
Silence falls. And Chuck wonders what the hell he's gonna do.
He never expected that finally finding the man they've been seeking, after all this time, would leave him wondering if they should never have never looked at all. He never thought that finally finding the one person who can help him, would mean not telling everyone else that he cares about, who cares about him. He never thought the scientist would make this conditional.
And now he has to decide... tell no one, or possibly never get this computer out of his head.
Yeah, this really hasn't been a good day.
She didn't hear much from him last night. Just a quick text, replying to her checking in, nothing more. No cute memes or GIFs. Which isn't that strange, but it reminds her of different times. When they first moved out to Burbank. After he got the governor. It reminds her of when they'd taken a break, from their thing under the undercover thing.
But they haven't done that again. Not since the suburbs. In fact, recently they've just gotten even closer. When her Dad showed up and left again in such a rollercoaster, and she'd had a realization about the extent to which she'll go to defy orders and protect those she loves... something in her shifted a little. The lingering sense that what they're doing, their closeness, might come back to haunt them some day, it's gone now. She no longer cares about the repercussions of this connection she has with her asset. And with that has come a comfort, in her time with Chuck. It's terrifying, but she feels it so much more now. She knows that, if the time came, just like she did for her father, she'd take Chuck's side. She'd protect him, save him, over any order.
So unless there's something Sarah's missing, there must be some other reason Chuck was being quiet last night.
Which is why she waits for him outside Castle. Just in case.
She sees his car pull up, watching as he emerges and walks toward her. He's looking at his phone as he crosses the lot, and when he looks up she watches as he jolts a little when he sees her. Apparently surprised she's here. Maybe he was just in his head a little.
"Hey, stranger." she calls. He smiles a little, nodding as he gets closer. He looks tired, she thinks, eyes a little dark, and she frowns. "Late night with the searches?"
"The search-- oh, yeah." he says, looking back down at his phone.
"No luck?" she guesses, and he hums, a little distractedly.
"No, nothing."
Frowning at how quiet he is, she shrugs, chalking it up as another result of the late night. Looking for two people who don't want to be found, an endless fruitless search, can get you down.
"It'll happen eventually, Chuck, I know." She reaches for him, squeezing his arm, but he just smiles a little tightly. And she while she wasn't sure she'd actually do this, she decides there and then to tell him about something she's been considering, the past few days. "I... have an idea. For your Dad, at least. I can try it out soon, I'll just need to take a laptop from Castle without the surveillance catching me."
"Oh," he says, a little surprised, eyes widening. "You'd do that?"
"Of course," she says simply. But his eyes stay wide, and she leans in, frowning again. Something feels... unsettled, within him. "Are you sure you're okay?" she asks, and he nods, clearing his throat.
"Yeah. Yeah, perfect."
And while she senses there's something more, she lets him be, nodding as they head down into Castle. She'll keep a close eye on him. Maybe it is the searches, or maybe yesterday's kidnapping has rattled him more than she thought. Maybe it's something else entirely. But it's her job to protect him, and that means making sure he's okay, too.
Casey greets them with a grunt.
"Bartowski, take a look at this," he says by way of greeting, tossing a file toward Chuck, and Sarah rolls her eyes at his antics. Although, really, nowadays they're more of a comfort. A constant. Part of the routine.
Which is why she's surprised when, rather than quipping back to Casey like he always does, Chuck just nods and takes the file, sitting down. Sarah frowns, busying herself with reading the file Casey has left for her.
She thought the Broussard mission was wrapped up yesterday, but apparently they have one more loose end. Danny Reyes, a member of Broussard's security detail, escaped overnight during a transfer. They suspect he's returned to his apartment to grab his things and go on the run-- his apartment building got an alert about access to his place at 5am. He might still be there, and it's up to their team to find him.
Two minutes later, Chuck looks up.
"Got it-- find Reyes, bring him in, same as always," he says simply, and Casey grunts.
"Any flashes?"
Chuck shakes his head.
"None yet. But the lead on the apartment seems pretty solid, right?"
Casey grunts, and Sarah shrugs, in agreement. They don't always need a flash to be able to leave Castle, and the first place to look is the apartment.
But still, something feels strange.
She shrugs it off as they gear up and head out in the van, Chuck talking a little but somehow more muted than he usually is on missions. Maybe the excitement of the job has worn off for him, now. It happens to all spies, Sarah knows.
And, by the time they pull up to the apartment complex, she's put all concerns about Chuck aside to focus on the mission.
She might not be as good at compartmentalizing feelings as she once was, but she's still got it when it counts.
Casey pulls out his badge at the desk, and they get let up to Floor 8 easy enough. Sarah pulls out her picks, unlocking the door with ease. And Casey takes point. It's all regular, just like the missions always go.
"Walker, take Bartowski and go right. I'll take left."
And she nods, and he pushes the door open and they break.
In the part of her brain not fully focused on clearing the space, she registers that it's a pretty nice apartment. Modern, pretty clean, a good city view. They know Broussard pays well.
The rest of her focus is on clearing each room, gun drawn, ensuring it's empty and safe. She checks the closets, bathroom, all empty. After five minutes, it's done. No sign of Reyes.
She eyes Chuck.
"Anything?" she asks, and he shakes his head. No clues, no flashes. She sighs, shrugging.
"Casey, we're clear!"
She hears a responding grunt.
Chuck sighs.
"We must've just missed him."
"Hey! Dammit, Walker!" Casey shouts, and she turns around, looking over Chuck's shoulder to see their suspect running straight toward them. He has a knife in his hand-- and she recognizes the look in his eyes. He's a man with nothing to lose.
"Sarah--" Chuck says, but she knows what's going to happen before it starts. Reyes immediately makes a beeline for Chuck, the person closest to him, and grabs his arm. "Hey!"
As Chuck struggles, Reyes turns, clearly trying to pull Chuck in and hold him hostage in front of him. Probably going to raise his knife to his throat, threaten to kill him unless they let him go, the usual.
So without even thinking, she brings up her gun, aims through the struggle, and shoots Reyes in the shoulder.
He drops Chuck's arm, drops the knife, falling to the ground with a cry out, gripping his arm.
"You bitch! You shot me!"
Casey grunts, following up the rear.
"Fucker was hiding in the laundry closet."
She huffs as he hauls Reyes up, dragging him away, blood still dripping onto the lovely apartment floor.
Turning to Chuck, she sees him standing, clearly a little stunned.
"You okay?" she checks.
There's a tiny bit of blood on his cheek. And she doesn't know why, but she doesn't even want him to know about it. Not just because he'd faint at the sight of it. So she steps closer, smoothly bringing her sleeve down and brushing it off, stroking his jaw briefly. His eyelids flutter, and he swallows.
"You saved me," he murmurs, and she just smiles at him.
"I'll always save you," she says, simply.
Because it is that simple. Just the truth.
And for some reason, he frowns a little as he nods.
"Yeah. Can-- can you come over, later? I... there's something I wanna talk to you about."
A little surprised at that, she nods, dropping her hand to find his, squeezing gently.
"Of course. What's wrong?"
"Nothing, I... Well, it's not nothing. I'll tell you later?"
"But you're okay?" she has to check, and he nods.
"I am now."
And then he smiles, and she can't help but think it's the first real smile she's seen from him all day.
000000
"Chuck?" she calls out, opening the door and looking around the ground floor of his apartment. It's empty-- she sees the kitchen a little messy, various things lying around. A saucepan on the stove, askew, burner off.
"Just a minute!" he calls, and she looks to the landing upstairs, seeing him emerge, drying his hands with a towel. He's also completely shirtless. Which she pretends to not notice.
She smirks, deliberately not looking at the broadness of his shoulders. That olive tan to his skin.
"What did you do?" she asks instead.
"It's not my fault, the can of tomatoes exploded on me."
She laughs, drawn to him, making her way upstairs as he heads back into his room. A lightness fills her, unstoppable. All him.
"Were you cooking? For me?" she calls, and she hears a quiet laugh.
"Trying to. Maybe third time's the charm."
She grins, although she has to wonder why he was cooking, today. Usually they just hang out, maybe get takeout. Cooking feels big.
"You didn't need to do that," she murmurs, and he emerges from his room, shirt open and over his shoulders. Despite herself, her eyes drop to his chest. She swallows, turning around as he starts to button it up. "Still nothing on the searches?" she asks, absentminded, looking into his office.
But she blinks as she sees something flash up on his computer screen. A black screen with blue writing.
From behind her, Chuck races past her, hitting his monitor to close it off.
But it's too late. She saw what it said.
CHUCK. WE NEED TO TALK.
He turns to her, closing his eyes, apologetic. He knows she saw it too.
"What was that?" she asks, and he chews his lip. She swallows.
Why does she think she knows exactly what that was?
"It..." He sighs, apparently realizing his pretense is pointless. "It's a message... from Orion."
Her heart sinks.
"You made contact?" she asks, distantly.
"Yeah. Well, he did. This-- this is what I wanted to talk with you about."
But the way he says it, she knows that's not all. And with his behavior today, how different he's been... she has to ask.
"When did he contact you?"
And his face shutters a little, eyes closing, before he admits,
"Yesterday."
"Yesterday," she repeats, clearing her throat, folding her arms around her stomach. "And... and you didn't tell me."
"No. I wanted to, now, but..."
He trails off, leaving it unsaid. But she hears it.
He didn't tell her, yesterday. Or this morning, when she'd asked about the searches. And sure, he was gonna tell her now, make her dinner, all that, but... He didn't tell her.
Looking away, she tries to hold back the instinctive hurt and anger bubbling within her. The sense of betrayal.
The almost scary realization that maybe they're not on the same page, the two of them. She's been thinking about how if it came down to orders or Chuck, she'd choose him-- and he's keeping major secrets from her. Because it's clear now that for some reason he kept this from her.
Instead, she forces herself to stay calm. The reasoned handler. The sensible... whatever else she is, here. Maybe he has a reason, and she needs to hear him out on that before she knows how she's going to react.
She takes a deep breath.
"Why?"
He sighs.
"Look, I wanted to, but--"
"Chuck. Why?" she interrupts, because his answer is gonna impact how she deals with this, and at this point, she just needs to know it.
He pauses, hands in his pockets, rocking back on his heels.
"Because... Orion told me not to. He said I shouldn't trust you."
Oh, there it is. And damn, if it doesn't feel like a punch to the gut.
"And you believed him."
"No," he says firmly, stepping closer. "Sarah, I wanted to tell you--"
"But you didn't," she says calmly. God, this hurts more than she'd thought anything like this would. Shit. "That's clear, Chuck, you didn't tell me. So you didn't trust me."
It's a simple path. One implication leads to another.
Chuck shakes his head.
"You know I trust you," he implores, and she does know that, of course she does. But the evidence was right there on his computer, so bright. The hurt bubbles up more, as Chuck sighs. "Look, Orion told me--"
"But why did you listen?" she interrupts, that hurt spilling out. "One guy shows up claiming to be Orion and suddenly, everything we've been through, that doesn't matter?"
"It's not like that--"
"Then what is it, Chuck? Why did you keep it from me? We wanted to find him, we were in this together. So why did you lie to me this morning? Why pretend he hadn't contacted you?" she asks, imploring. But he just gulps, and she knows he doesn't have a reason. And god, that hurts even more than if he did, somehow. If he had a reason he could stand behind, she'd get it. This just hurts. "You should've told me."
But Chuck frowns, eyeing her, and she knows he's not done.
"Would you have let me meet with him? Not being able to vet him? Honestly."
And it's such an unusual question from him, a change of direction, she knows that the scientist is the one who put this into his head. And she knows her answer will disappoint him. That's clearly what Orion intended. Stirring shit up, seeding doubt.
"No." she says simply, because she knows she wouldn't.
He straightens up, shaking his head.
"See, this is exactly what he said!"
Oh, that was not the right thing to say. Whoever this scientist is, or whoever's claiming to be him-- because who knows who the fuck could be impersonating him-- Sarah isn't such a fan anymore. In just one conversation he's turned Chuck against her. Her Chuck. And now he's on Orion's side? Is that what this is? The scientist trying to sow division against the agencies that wronged him?
She narrows her eyes.
"I wouldn't because I want to protect you, Chuck. I'm not gonna let you walk into something that might be a trap. You know that. Fuck, yesterday you were kidnapped, today you could've been stabbed if I hadn't shot Reyes! Do you have any idea what that feels like?" God, there's a physical pain in her chest, now. "It's my job to make sure you're safe. Something like this, a contact like this, it takes time, we have to verify Orion's identity, find a safe place, you can't just get one call from him and go where he says to."
He shakes his head.
"He showed me an image that was in the Intersect and I flashed-- I know it's him."
And oh, how much she usually loves his innocence. That remaining little bit of naïveté in him, untouched by all he's had to see in this world. Usually she adores that, wants him so desperately to hold onto it.
But he just can't see things the way she does, here. She's been trained to see the threats all around them, all the time. The past two days alone, he's been in such danger. And she barely managed to save him, both times. They didn't know that Broussard's team's weapons were fake. She only just stopped Reyes from getting to him with that knife. And she doesn't know if he'll ever understand how terrifying it is, for your job to be to protect the one person you love more than anything, and to realize if he's ever hurt, it's all your fault.
Taking a deep breath, she forces calm. Wills him to see things the way she does, has to.
"The real Orion could have been captured and had that intel tortured out of him, Chuck. This could be the real Orion who showed you that-- but maybe he has ulterior motives! Maybe he'll want to kidnap you or kill you so you're not under the government anymore. Maybe he's being monitored by Fulcrum and he doesn't even know it. Proof of identity doesn't mean it's a safe meet!"
Chuck shakes his head. She can see the hurt in his eyes, the pain he's feeling over this. But she can't back down.
"I trust him. And-- and honestly, that should be enough for you."
She jolts at his implication. That by questioning this she's somehow questioning Chuck.
Now that-- that, is hurt.
"Chuck... you know I would never gamble your safety like that. Not for you."
He just shrugs, folding his arms over his chest.
And she wonders how the hell they got here.
She straightens up, shaking her head. The truth, this time.
"I'm not caring about this as just your handler. I'm not even thinking about this as a CIA agent. But what we are, Chuck..." She takes a deep breath. "You know how I feel here. You know what we are, and you know that doing this is dangerous, but you know I know you're worth all of it. So for you to do this... to act like I'd keep you from talking to Orion out of duty or protocol because I just want to... You know it's so much more than that."
This is someone she's willing to defy orders for. Someone she's in that deep for. Someone that she's closer to than anyone else in this world, than she's ever been, with anyone.
She shakes her head, feeling her eyes mist a moment, blurring her vision of him, stony-faced.
And for the first time in a long time around him, she forces her mask back on. Forces the emotions away, forces a calm she feels anything but.
He has nothing more to say, she knows that. So she just eyes him.
"You should've trusted me."
And with that, she walks away.
The day after Sarah walks out of his place, they haven't had one, single, non-work conversation. Only "pass me that file, please," or "stay in the van". No smiles. No quips. Just utter professionalism.
And he hates it. And it's all his fault. He can't even pretend it's anything but.
He should've told her. He knew that, god, he did. Lying to her, keeping Orion's contact from her, and from Ellie, he knew it was wrong. It didn't sit right from the second he decided to keep the scientist reaching out to himself. But he didn't know what to do.
Orion was so insistent. And the idea of losing the scientist after he'd only just found Chuck-- it felt like he couldn't tell Sarah. It felt like he was cornered in, like he had no choice.
But he'd hated every minute of lying to her, the sick feeling it left him with, the way he couldn't even concentrate on a mission file because of the turmoil it caused him, and when she'd saved him from Reyes yesterday he'd realized what a huge mistake he'd made, even if it was only for a day or so. He'd planned to tell her everything, explain it all, and then do the same with his sister, since he owes her an apology too.
And yet, when he'd asked Sarah over to talk, she'd found out before he could come clean. She'd been upset-- and Chuck can't even blame her.
And for some stupid, defensive, heat-of-the-moment reason, he rubbed salt right into that wound and made things so much worse. Questioning her about everything Orion had pulled out. That tiny bit of doubt planted in his mind just coming up to the surface again. That they'd never really be able to escape this. That protocol would stop any attempt to meet with Orion.
He'd basically accused her of not trusting him. And he hates that just the one guy could get to him so much. One guy could make him behave so out of sorts.
Yeah, he was frustrated that he couldn't tell Sarah as planned, annoyed that the scientist himself, trying to contact him again, had foiled it all. But it was Orion's words in his head, twisting that knife, that had made him lash out. Made him do anything but admit that he was just confused, unsure how to balance an ultimatum from the scientist they need and his feelings for Sarah, his duty to let her know.
He fucked up. Majorly. Implying she didn't trust him, choosing Orion over her, arguing against her... And when she told him she wasn't even thinking about things as his handler, but as the so much more they are now, what he'd said had dawned on him. That this is about more than the job, now. This is them, the two of them. Together. And he'd doubted that. Even just for a second, he'd questioned it.
Which just seems like utter insanity in the light of day. Not Sarah. Not him and her. Not them, after all this time fighting just to be.
And even the mere thought of losing her had been enough to jumpstart his brain and make all of his choices hit him, cold.
But she'd left before he could start to apologize, and he knew he had to let her go. To not hurt her anymore in just one night.
He'd spent the evening toiling with it all. Wondering whether to tell Ellie, or if that would just make things even worse. He's still yet to explain things to his sister, which is a whole other issue. Reiterating to her why he kept things quiet, admitting to her that the mythical scientist sought him out, not the other way around, but that the man they've been looking for for so long is so jaded, has conditions, doesn't want her or anyone else to know about him... It'll be heavy. But she's his sister, and while she'll be pissed, and he'll have to make things up to her too, he knows it won't hurt as much as with Sarah. He knows the stakes are different, when it comes to his handler. The woman he loves.
Months ago, a lifetime ago, he was alone, scared, isolated and fading in a bunker below ground. He hadn't interacted with anyone, truly, in months. He missed his best friend, his sister, the sunshine. He missed truth. And one person, just one, walked into his hallway and looked at him, and truly saw him. Noticed him. And she said his name and his whole world changed.
She got him back to LA. She made sure his sister was read in. She discovered Orion. She fought for him, time and again.
And now he's almost lost her. He almost let all they've been through been undermined for a chance at freedom.
But he loves her. More than anything on this earth. And he trusts no one else with his life, his future, than her. Not a scientist. Not Casey. Just Sarah Walker.
And he doesn't know how to make it up to her. How to make this right. But he knows he has to.
Even one day of pure professionalism with her is killing him.
He jumps out of his thoughts as Beckman ends her debriefing from today's assignment, dismissing them, and Sarah turns to them both, nodding.
"See you tomorrow," she says, and with that, she's gone. Up the Castle stairs and past the secure door before he can even echo her words.
"What's gotten into Walker?" Casey grunts in the silence that follows. Clearly, he's noticed things today. Clearly, even he's gotten used to Sarah being the warm, open handler she is-- and not being far more like Casey. Removed. Answering in single syllables. Now, the Major narrows his eyes Chuck's way. "What did you do?"
"Why do you assume it's something I did?" He pauses. "You're right, it is, but--"
"Something I need to know?" he presses, and Chuck sighs.
"It's personal," he admits. Because while Casey probably does know to some degree that he and Sarah aren't just handler and asset, Chuck sure as fuck isn't gonna admit that in a surveilled government base. And maybe the boy scout Major is operating under the idea that if he doesn't know outright, he has no reason to report anything to Beckman. Chuck hopes it's that. "I just... I didn't trust her. And I should've done."
"Damn straight, Bartowski." Casey nods. Even now, Chuck has to admit, it's kind of surprising. The man who found him all those months ago, confused and scared shitless after an awful date with Agent Jones, that man loathed the CIA. Now here he is, defending one of those agents. Defending Sarah. It's the kind of person Sarah is. The kind of change she can instill in you-- the kind of trust. Something Orion didn't understand. "Not a lot of things you can trust around here anymore... but Walker's one of 'em."
"I know," he murmurs in reply, sighing. Like he hasn't thought that a dozen times over, today. "God, I know."
"So why'd you fuck up?" the Major asks, and Chuck shrugs.
"I thought I didn't have another way. Now I realize... Sarah's always the way." Casey raises an eyebrow. Maybe that was a little much under the surveillance, but Chuck realizes, he doesn't care anymore. Not about this. So he eyes his handler, takes a step back. "I gotta go apologize."
Casey nods.
"See that you do." Well, Chuck wasn't expecting that. He pauses in his step, looks at Casey, questioning, until the older man narrows his eyes. "What? An apology goes a long way."
He smirks, unable to resist the tease.
"I thought you'd say something hyper-masculine about apologies making you weak."
But Casey shakes his head, firm.
"Job isn't all helicopters and guns, Chuck. Sometimes, you gotta admit you're wrong. It's not a weakness-- not with Walker, at least."
And, unsure quite what to make of that, Chuck nods, heading out.
He's missed Sarah by the time he gets upstairs, but he doesn't mind. Best to give a little time before he shows up, anyway.
So he heads home first, changing out of his mission attire and sending a glare to his computer. The webcam is blank, no light watching him. It's both a surprise and not; he hasn't contacted Orion since he tried to make contact last night-- and until Chuck has spoken to Sarah, he's not going to.
He's not gonna talk to the guy again until Sarah's there. Until Orion knows, they involve her, or they don't do this at all.
But that does entail apologizing to Sarah. And she's not the only one he owes an apology, he's very aware. There's someone else who doesn't even know he kept this from her, yet. The other person who's turned his life around since that day the CIA and NSA dragged him into a bunker in D.C. And he's had enough time to debate motives and bad instincts-- he knows, it's time to admit it. So, knowing Sarah needs some time, he pulls out his phone and calls his sister.
No more secrets.
She picks up after a few rings, hospital beeps and chatter audible down the line.
"Chuck?" she asks, sounding a little surprised to hear from him.
"Hey, sis. Are you busy?"
"I'm on break right now-- are you okay?"
He hums. He's not-- but there's no use saying that. This isn't the kind of not okay that Ellie can help with, anyway, besides the reason he's calling her. This is all his fault, and no medical advice is going to aid his cause.
"I'm fine, I'm home. I'm gonna head over to Sarah's soon."
She hums, too, a curious tone in it.
"Okay. So why are you calling?"
He winces. Yeah, he wishes they had the chance for casual chats more now, but pretty much every call has a purpose. Just like this one.
"I... I think I need some advice, sis. I need to apologize to Sarah. And I don't know how to."
"You don't know how to apologize?" she asks, thick with sarcasm, and he sighs. If anyone taught him empathy and when to say sorry, it's Ellie. She's the one who told him to apologize to the little kid in his class for taking his pencil without asking; the one who told him to say sorry to Tara Jacobs in fourth grade because he said he didn't like her hair. Ellie raised him, she knows that.
"I do know how to do that. But not about something this big. I... I really fucked up, sis."
"What happened?" she asks, softer, and he winces.
"Don't freak out."
"What--"
"Orion contacted me--" he interrupts, and she falls silent. "And he told me not to tell anyone, he said if I did he wouldn't help with the Intersect. So I didn't tell you, or Sarah. And I realized how shitty that was, so I tried to tell Sarah, but she found out before I could explain, because he contacted me again. And... I sort of said that I trusted him more than her and that she should trust me rather than protect me."
Again, there is silence down the line, and he holds a wince as he waits for his sister's reply.
"He contacted you," she repeats, slowly. "And you didn't tell Sarah. You didn't tell me? Why?"
Funny that her question is the same as Sarah's-- and the one he doesn't have an answer to.
"I don't know," he murmurs, honestly. Looking back, all he has is his fear, of losing this possible-ally. Nothing more concrete. "I... God, I want this thing out of my head so bad, you know that. And... he told me he can do that."
Ellie makes a strained noise, and he knows despite everything she's focusing on that.
"He can remove it?"
"Yes," he insists. "And, and Sarah is worried it's not him, but I know it is, El. He showed me an image he knew would be in the Intersect and I flashed, right away. He's the real deal. He knew about me, and he knew I want it out, and he says he can do it."
Again, Ellie stays quiet a moment, processing.
"Is that why Sarah was mad?" she asks, and he sighs.
"We... argued. About if we can trust him. She said even if it is Orion, we don't know his motives. And because I trusted him and did what he asked... She thinks I chose him over her."
"You did, Chuck. Even for just a day, that's what you did. You chose him over Sarah, and me." And shit, he knows it. For once, he doesn't even need his sister to tell him such a thing, get him out of his head. "Why, then?"
And he gulps, still wondering himself.
"I wanted to tell you both, but he said I couldn't," he begins. "I mentioned you-- I just said you were my neurologist-- and he said I couldn't tell you. He said everything Sarah had told me, about getting out of this, one day, about living a normal life, was just a lie. And I didn't believe him, but I knew he was our only shot at this. He wasn't gonna help, if I told you. And I thought if I fought more he'd cut the call and disappear again, and I'd lose any chance."
Ellie sighs again, and he knows she's weighing things in her head.
"I get that. I don't want you to lose this chance, either, and I know Sarah doesn't want you to lose it either. We wanted to find Orion and he found you, it's great. But..."
"But I never should've kept it from you both," he concludes for her, and she just hums. "I know it was beyond shitty. And I'm so mad with myself, for letting him get into my head. Above you, above Sarah. I just-- I don't know how to apologize. To Sarah. I know I hurt her, what I said."
"I don't think you can apologize," his sister murmurs, and he blinks. She knows him well enough that she hurriedly follows up: "I'm not saying it's unforgivable, Chuck-- but, shit, you did fuck that up. You should've known, cutting us out... It's not gonna work, with Orion, if that's what he wants. I'm your neurologist, Sarah is your handler. We need to help you, Chuck. Even if you don't tell Orion... I don't think you can do this without us." He grimaces, but she keeps going. "I just... I think you can't just say sorry for what you did and move on. But you can apologize for making her feel the way she did. And you can apologize for making the wrong choice. You should let her know how you feel, how bad you feel about this."
He sighs.
"I was just so caught up in Orion, in what he can do... It took over. But Sarah was right-- right now we definitely don't know if we can trust him. I can't just go give up everything and trust someone who contacted me in cool but very mysterious ways, y'know?"
"Chuck... Tell her all of this, not me."
And he knows he should, he will, but how can he just show up at her door, casually, when he's messed up this much?
"I just, I feel like I need to make it up to her, really let her know--"
"Chuck, you love her. That's enough for her, trust me." Oh. Ellie pauses a moment, like she's letting him realize that, and he wonders how it took him so long to recognize it. How simple all of this actually is. "She'll forgive you eventually. But you need to tell her all of this, and she'll understand. She'll know how much this has been weighing on you. How much you never want to do it again. Okay? Go to her."
"I'm going. Thanks, sis." He really doesn't deserve her sometimes. By now, he knows that. All those childhood scrapes, the Stanford blues... Ellie is beyond the best sister on this earth. "And, when I'm back, I'll tell you about Orion, okay? We can figure it out."
She hums.
"Yeah, I'm not done with you yet about that, little brother." By now, he's willing to pay. "But go."
He nods, murmuring another goodbye before he hangs up.
And while he debates taking something, flowers, wine, the dinner he was going to make last night-- he knows nothing will be enough to make it up to Sarah. Nothing but himself. Even he might not cut it. So, steeling himself, he gets in his car and he drives to her hotel.
He's been here enough times that the concierge recognizes him, lets him right up with a polite smile and nod. And Chuck can't help but remember how lucky he is to be a recognizable feature in Sarah Walker's life. To be a constant, so much so even a stranger becomes familiar with him. All for Sarah Walker.
Fuck, he needs to make this up to her.
He jogs to the elevator, waiting anxiously as it takes him up, and then he rushes down the hall until he reaches her door, knocking multiple times.
"Yes?" He hears, from near the door, and he sighs, leaning his forehead against the wood.
"Hey. It's me. The very, very sorry asshole who lied to you. And who missed you all day, even though you were right there."
He steps back as he hears the light jingle of the lock, pulling back as it opens. And he sees her on the other side, hair pulled back in a messy ponytail. She looks drawn, tired-- and fuck, he knows he must be the cause.
And yet his heart aches at just the sight of her. God he loves her. And he's missed her, so much.
"Hi," he breathes.
She smiles a little, but he sees it's weak. Not much heart in it.
"Hey. Look, Chuck, I'm--"
And though he knows he has nothing owed, here, though he knows he hasn't earned anything... he steps forward and he wraps his arms around her and he holds her.
She doesn't move.
But he keeps his arms around her, shifts them lower, squeezing her tight, gentle, close to him, burying his face into her neck, a pained kind of love washing over him.
She shifts, but she still doesn't move.
And he stands taller, pulling her in, murmuring,
"I'm sorry."
And, after another beat, she slides her arms around him, holding him in return, sighing out against him. He presses his lips to her neck, murmuring apologies again, and she breathes out, leaning into him, squeezing back.
And he breathes in the moment, takes it in, relishes all of her. Because god, he knows he can't lose her.
When she pulls back, he eyes her, shaking his head.
"I'm sorry," he says again. "I... god, I fucked up. So badly."
She nods.
"Thanks. I... I overreacted, a little--"
"No. No, baby, you didn't," he interrupts. "I... You were right, I let a stranger get into my head and I did what he said, rather than doing what I knew was right. Trusting you, telling you. Even if he is Orion, I never should've trusted him over you. Believe me, I'm not making that mistake again."
And she smiles just a little, shaking her head.
"I get it, Chuck. You didn't wanna say no and have him cut you off right away."
"Yeah," he murmurs. "But after today... it's not worth it. You were right. You and me, us... It's worth more than anything Orion could be, it means more than anything else."
She sighs, a thick contentment in the sound, leaning back into him, head against his nape.
"Thank you," she murmurs, and he breathes deep.
"Sarah, I'm never gonna keep a secret from you again. Trust me."
And she pulls back, smiling at him, before she leans up to kiss him gently, and he sighs against her, losing himself in her.
But then she pulls back again, leaning her forehead against his.
"I missed you too," she says quietly, and oh, he wonders how he can still fall for her more, even now.
With a content sigh, he pulls back, eyeing her.
"I told Ellie. About Orion." Sarah raises an eyebrow. "I... I needed some advice. And I needed to tell her. This whole thing, it's you and me, and her. I mean, it was the two of you sneaking around with the CIA archives that found Orion in the first place."
And he can't believe just one man, one scientist, made him think about lying to the two most important people in his life.
She tugs him to the bed, hopping up to sit farther back, curling up her feet.
"What did she say?"
He rubs the back of his neck.
"More about me than much about Orion. Which I get."
"It happened. We can move past it, Chuck."
He shakes his head.
"I don't want to. At least... I don't wanna forget this. Honestly, Sarah, I was thinking today, and if it weren't for you, and for El, I'd still be back in that bunker. And I'd still be so fucking alone, and miserable."
She smirks a little, so light.
"And pale."
He smirks, too, falling back against the mattress, facing up at the ceiling.
"Point. I just think sometimes that feels like such a lifetime ago, now, I almost forget how much it sucked. There were moments I thought I was just gonna die down there, or that at least they were gonna do what Jones wanted and tell Ellie I was dead... You got me out of there. And where I am now is so much fuckin' better than then. I'm here and I'm with my family, and... And with you."
She smiles down at him, soft. Her hand reaches out, strokes his cheek gently.
"We've come a long way."
And then she shifts, lying down next to him and resting her head on his shoulder. His arms embrace her, pulling her in, as he presses a kiss to her head.
"What are you going to do? About Orion?" she asks, eventually, and he shrugs gently.
"I don't know. I'm gonna have to wait anyway and see if he contacts me again. But if he does, I'm gonna tell him you and Ellie know, and if that's it... That's it."
"Just like that?"
"Orion might be the guy who invented this. He might be the only one who can get it out of my head. But there are other scientists out there who were involved with the Intersect. And there's Ellie."
"And you," Sarah murmurs. He shifts, eyeing her, and she smirks. "Orion's an engineer. So are you. With what Ellie knows, and what you can do..."
"You think we can rig an Intersect removal device on our own?"
She shrugs.
"I don't know. But Fulcrum made an Intersect, and a lot of them are idiots."
He laughs, watching as she just grins widely,
"True," he says through a laugh. "With Ellie's brain we've already got a way better chance."
She nudges him.
"And yours."
He rolls his eyes with a smile.
"And mine. When it's not making me do dumb stuff like yesterday." She just holds him closer, and he sighs. "I promised Ellie I'd tell her more, I should go soon."
But Sarah slings her leg around his, propping herself up on her elbow, eyeing him with a dark, warm look in her eye that he thinks he could drown in.
"Soon. But not right now."
And then she kisses him, and god, he swears he'll never do another thing on this earth to lose her. As her hands run through his hair, he swears. As his hands encircle her hips, he swears. As her teeth graze his lips, he swears. As--
A beeping sounds out, and Sarah pulls away, pushing herself up with an "Ugh" so annoyed and an expression so stony he can't help but giggle. Wordlessly, she clambers over him to her nightstand, pulling up her phone and almost glaring at it as she checks the notification.
But he watches as her expression turns, from annoyance to surprise, just like that.
"What is it?" he asks, because he knows it's something.
She chews her lip.
"I know we just said no secrets, but... I might have a secret."
He leans back, raising an eyebrow. Surely, she's joking.
"You're kidding me."
"I ran the search last night, results just came in."
Frowning, he waits as she heads back toward him, showing him her phone screen. He sees an address, plain and simple, but it's not one he recognizes. And as he looks up at her, he realizes this is something she's expecting him to know, react to.
"Search? Results? What is this?" he asks, and she smiles softly.
"I found your Dad," she murmurs.
And, with that hell of a secret, he thinks they might be even.
note: Again, I view this story as looking at how one change can cause so many changes later down the line. In canon, Sarah is already pretty hurt when Chuck keeps the fact that Orion found him from her, but here they're so much closer, the stakes are higher, and there's Ellie to include too-- so it felt a full chapter dealing with it and Chuck realizing what he'd kept from them was needed. Still, this chapter was a doozy to get through! Next chapters should be a little speedier. Please review, see ya soon!