Graphic descriptions in this chapter. Not for the faint hearted. You were warned.

Chapter 5: Does This Mean It's Over?

BPOV

How was that the most peaceful sleep I have ever had? I slept on the couch...didn't I?

I felt a thick warm blanket around me, a soft pillow under my head and a huge space to spread out and get comfy. .. I'm in Edward Cullen's bed! HOLY SHIT!

What the hell happened last night? I looked over to the opposite side of the bed, highly expecting Edward to be sound asleep next to me. But as I slowly opened my eyes, he wasn't there.

Where the hell was he?

I glanced around his dorm room, nothing. But then I heard heavy breathing coming from the couch. Had Edward moved me to his bed so I could get a good nights sleep while he looked as uncomfortable as all fuck on the couch? Well, I didn't expect that at ALL.

I got out of Edwards bed and walked towards where he was sound asleep.

There was Edward in the most oddest position, his left leg handing over the back of the couch trying to stretch out, the blanket was only covering his right leg. I stopped assessing his position, and moved onto actually looking at his inhumanly perfect body.

His sculpted chest rose and fell as he snored softly, I decided I would make it up to Edward for last night. I totally freaked out on him, I should have known tonight would lead to this. Stupid me, not thinking. I just want to lay with him right now.

I was trying to figure out how I could climb onto Edwards chest and just lay on top of him. After about two seconds I decided to just slowly lower myself over him. As I started to lay down, Edward slowly opened his eyes.

"Good Morning Beautiful" he whispered in a half sleepy tone, that he still somehow made seductive.

"Hi" I whispered timidly. I leaned up and kissed his jaw.

"Look, im really sorry about last night Edward, I didn't mean to get so worked up." This was the make or break in our relationship, Edward would blame himself for not being more careful and aware, then I would put it back on myself saying how it's my fault that it happened, then we would just go back and forth until I finally gave up and walked out. This was it.

"Bella" That's all Edward said, he said it in that concerning way. I knew what was coming next. He sighed and continued talking.

"It's not you fault, I should have been more careful. I didn't even think about the other night. All I knew right there and then was that I wanted you." As if right on cue, my exact guess was playing out, this was it. I knew it was over.

I pushed off his chest, so, that now I was straddling him.

I contemplated grinding into him, I just needed to feel something but I thought that wasn't such a good idea considering what occurred last night. My full fledged panic attack.

I knew these next words would hurt Edward but he needed to hear them, I hadn't told him much about my past, just the part about my parents. Nothing about what happened when me and Mike dated, and what broke us up and caused him to go to jail, but we work at the same place now, and I just have to act like nothing happened.

"Edward, it's not your fault at all. I knew you wanted me, and I pushed you. I wasn't even thinking about the other night until you went and got the condom, then it finally clicked and it all came flooding back. There are things you don't know about me, things I want to tell you but im afraid of what you will think."

A stray tear slipped down my cheek. I waited for Edward to answer me before continuing. I needed him to know im not perfect, im not pure, im not innocent, I have done bad things and have had bad things happen to me.

"Bella, please dont cry. Whatever you need to tell me you can."

Edward sat up and wiped the tear from my cheek, I was still straddling him, which was a bonus I could maybe use when things got too emotionally intense.

"Okay, Do you remember what happened the other night?"

Okay, I know that's a stupid question to ask, but I just needed to make sure.

"Bella, I wont ever forget something like that." He said, his voice getting angry.

I dropped my eyes from Edwards face to his chest. "Well, that's not the first time something like that has happened to me." I whispered timidly.

"Bella! Wha-" I cut him off, I needed to finish this before I break down.

"Edward, please. Just let me finish." his expression was getting angry, but I kept on talking. What im going to tell him is like ripping off a band-aid, just do it fast and quick.

"It happened back when Mike and I were dating. I was 18 at the time, and it was about a month before my parents accident." Edward winced at this memory, not sure why though. He wasn't there, just heard about it from me...I put this aside and kept on talking.

"Mike came and picked me up at around 7pm, he had asked my parents if he could take me out on a date and little did I know he asked my father for his permission to ask for my hand in marriage, my father gave his best wishes to Michael and told him he was sure I would say yes and we would have a perfect night." I smiled at this happy memory. Things were so perfect.

"I had no clue what was going on, Michael took me to the little restaurant in Forks that was my favourite place to eat." I decided to skip all the happy things and move straight onto the worst part of that night.

"I had said yes to Michaels proposal, and he took me back to his house so that we could tell his parents the good news, Michael told his parents that we were going to bed. He led me up the stairs to his bedroom, I didn't think anything was going to happen, but me being my naive self thought nothing was wrong."

"We laid down on the bed and started kissing, we were in that happiness bliss of realising we were going to spend the rest of our lives together" Edward looked away, I could tell he didn't want to hear this.

"Things started to get...intense...I started telling Michael to stop, we didn't have protection and I didn't want my first time to be like this, I wanted it to be passionate and not rushed. But he wouldn't stop, no matter how much I tried to push him off he just kept going"

I started to remember things clearer than I had ever before, the memory came raging into my mind.

"Michael STOP!" I started to feel numb, dizzy, had Michael put something in my drink?

"It's okay baby, we are getting married. This is what is supposed to happen" Did he not realise I didn't want this?

"Michael, please..." I was crying now, I didn't want this to happen, I loved Michael and I knew this would happen eventually but not like this, not now. I felt this searing pain, oh god, please no, please not be what I know that pain is from..

"Bella, you feel so good, you dont know how long I have waited for this" He was enjoying this?

"Michael STOP! I dont want this just stop! Stop! Stop!" My cries were getting weaker, I had definitely been drugged. My finance had drugged me? I wanted this to stop, now, but I couldn't move, I physically tried to move and I couldn't.

I felt like I was in one of those dreams where you see something bad happening and you can scream. I snapped back to reality, not wanting to remember the memory.

"Bella? He raped you?" Edwards voice was thick with emotion.

"Yes" I climbed off Edward and started to walk towards the door, I have never remembered that much of that memory before, I couldn't let Edward see me like this.

I heard his footsteps following behind me, then I felt his warm hand around my wrist pulling me back and crushing my body into his chest.

"Bella, please dont leave. I'm so sorry about what happened. Bella. Bella look at me." He tilted my head my face his, and placed a chaste kiss on my lips. My head was reeling.

"Bella, I- I love you" his face was as pure as an angels.

"Edward, how can you love something so broken as me?" It was true, I was a mess.

"Bella, I love you" I could now tell he truly meant it.

"I- Edward, I think I love you too" I stretched up onto my toes and placed a chaste kiss on his lips. He pulled me closer to him and deepened it.

I had never been kissed like this before, so much emotion, so much passion and something I haven't felt in a very long time.

Love.

I guided my hands from Edwards waist and placed them into his hair, tugging gently, exciting a groan from Edward, and the vibrations from his lips excited a moan from me.

This was getting intense, and I didn't want to stop, this felt right. I wanted Edward. Now.

"Bella" Edward mumbled against my lips, and pulled away softly.

"Hmmm" I was in a rational state of thinking I knew this is what I wanted.

"Bella, I want to do this right. I dont want to rush things with you" He was being so sincere, such a gentleman. I knew, right then, in that moment I was truly going to marry this man someday.

"Edward, I have never wanted anything so bad in my entire life, Im finally happy again, and in love. Please make love to me." It was a request, if he turned me down I would understand.

Edward placed another chaste kiss on my lips. "Bella, are you sure?" I just nodded and kissed him, gliding my tongue along his bottom lip, wanting to gain entrance. He gladly let me in.

I moaned from the amazing sensation and our tongues danced around eachothers. Edward started to guide me towards to the bed. Not once breaking our kiss. He gently lowered me onto the soft bed, so that he was hovering over me.

I lifted my hips up to meet his, not wanting to wait. I felt his erection through his boxers, and as I pushed up again he moaned.

"Kitten, wait. I want to do this right." He was being so kind, I was being so jealous.

I felt his warm hands glide up the sides of my body, pulling my singlet up with the motion, he repeated this motion with my pants until I was completely bare before him.

"Bella, you are glorious. Do you have any idea how amazing you are?" I could see the love and lust in his eyes.

"Time to remove your clothing now, Mr Cullen" I placed my hands onto his hips and found his boxers waistband, I pulled them down and Edward kicked them to the floor.

"Now you, are the glorious one Edward" I ogled over his body, all the coutures from his muscles felt amazing under my hands.

I looked back up at Edward and started kissing him again.

"Bella, are you ready?" he looked down at me

"More than ever" Edward glided gently into me.

"Oh God, Edward." This felt amazing, so natural, our bodies fit so perfectly together.

"Bella, you feel so good, this is what it is meant to feel like" He started moving in and out of me, the sensation was almost too much to handle.

"Edward! Faster please" He granted my command, this was truly what it as about, you needed to be in love to feel this.

Edward groaned above me, I could feel myself starting to fall of the edge.

"Edward, im close" He was still moving in and out of me.

"Me too" He groaned and released inside of me the same time I did.

"EDWARD! OH GOD!" I growled against his shoulder.

"BELLA!" Edward moaned.

We both lay there in silence together, just in utter bliss. He hadn't removed himself from me just yet, we just we both too lost in each other.

After about five minutes had passed, he pulled out of my and put his boxers back on and climbed back into bed, I did the same.

"Wow" that was all I could say.

"I know" was all Edward replied.

I had just had sex with Edward Cullen, oh my god and it was the best sex I had ever had.

I curled into Edwards body and placed my head on his chest and pulled my right leg over his hip, grinding into his still exsisting erection.

"Bella...again?" Edward sure was confident.

"No, I think I just want to sleep. That was amazing Edwa..." I drifted off to sleep, in the most utter bliss. I couldn't care less if I missed classes today. I was in bed with Edward Cullen and that's all that mattered.