Here is episode two. Incidentally, I based this fic's portrayal of Tortuga on a combination of the one from Pirates of the Caribbean, the real life island of Tortuga and 1920s Chicago. That last one sticks out a bit, doesn't it?
Also, yes, I know burgers didn't exist in the 1700s. Suspension of disbelief, chaps.
Anyway, review replies!
TweenisodeOrange: I'm very glad you liked it! Thanks for reading.
Episode Two: Enter The Antagonists
The ship sailed towards the mouth of Tortuga harbour. Tortuga was the biggest pirate haven in the Caribbean, where pirates could dock without the small problem of being hanged by the navy. It was rowdy and lawless, the French owners of the city taking a blind eye to the buccaneers (after all, pirates generally had a lot of money to spend on goods, mainly rum, and French merchants were happy to sell.)
A person could find just about anything in Tortuga, and could rub with people from all walks of life; pirates and merchants, naval captains and criminals, peasants and rich lords.
Spongebob and Danny sat on the railing of the ship, talking.
"So, that's Tortuga, huh?" asked Spongebob.
"Yep, it's better then it looks," replied Danny, "I used to live there before I started working on ships to make money. You've just gotta know the right places."
He shrugged, and continued.
"So, why'd you join the crew?" he asked.
"Me and Timmy were coming over here to find our friends," replied Spongebob.
"What happened to them?"
"Well, it all started two years ago, when me and my friends, Patrick and Squidward, were working for Mr. Krabs and Mrs. Puff in his company thingamabob."
"Eugene Krabs?" mused Danny, "The guy in charge of the Krusty Krab Trading Company? I thought he disappeared!"
"What?" asked Tommy, having misheard them, "We're naming the ship the Krusty Krab?"
"No, we're actually…" began Danny.
"I'll paint it on the side," said Tommy, grabbing a can of paint.
Spongebob and Danny looked at each other, before shrugging.
"It was great!" continued Spongebob, "I made Mr. Krabs' invention, these burgers called Krabby Patties, and gave 'em to Mr. Krabs' sailors. Only one day, all of his ships got sunk in a storm, so he couldn't pay money he owed to a pirate…this guy called…Plankton."
Danny spat out some water he'd been drinking.
"Captain Sheldon Plankton?" he gasped.
"You know him?" asked Spongebob.
"Only from legend," replied Danny, "They say he's the most black-hearted pirate in history. They say he's sunk almost as much as Bart Roberts himself! They say he's got a hidden fortress somewhere in the Caribbean where he keeps all his prisoners…"
"Its just legend, Danny," reminded Jimmy, walking over, "I mean, you heard some of the stories? The one that says he took down three British warships in one day? No-one could do that!"
"Plankton could," said Danny, grimly.
"Anyway, Plankton came to Mr Krabs' office and said he was taking us as slaves for payment," continued Spongebob.
"How'd you escape?" asked Jimmy.
"I jumped out the window and ran away," shrugged Spongebob, "Then I met Timmy."
"What did Plankton do to him?" asked Danny.
"Plankton's first mate, Denzel Crocker," replied Timmy, walking over, "Stole my fair…err…my friends that are definitely not magical in any way…yeah…to try to use their magic…which doesn't exist…to take over the world."
He gave a nervous chuckle, and rubbed the back of his head.
"Denzel Crocker," mused Danny, "The Caribbean Crackpot. He's supposed to be the craziest pirate in history."
"I'm not gonna challenge you there," chuckled Jimmy, "Fairies? Please!"
"We're nearly at port," said Arnold, walking over, "We going ashore?"
"You won't regret it," promised Danny, grinning.
"Sure, let's go ashore," nodded Timmy, "We need a break on land after two weeks in the dark!"
"He, sure, ashore," giggled Spongebob, "Good one, buddy!"
There was a short pause. A cricket chirped.
"It wasn't a joke," deadpanned Timmy.
"OK, drop anchor!" called Arnold, "We're going to Tortuga!"
Danny led the crew through Tortuga's streets to a small but well-lit building. It was made of wood, like all of Tortuga's buildings, and was run-down but somehow inviting.
"Guys, this is the Nasty Burger," introduced Danny, "They sell pretty much anything here!"
They went inside. The place had many people inside, but not so many to the point of being packed. The customers were eating, drinking, talking and passing out from the second thing on this list. A small bald man was at the counter, looking bored.
"Hey Sam," called Danny, coming over, "Remember me?"
"What'll it be, fellas?" asked Sam.
"Come on, Sam, you know me," said Danny, raising his eyebrow.
"Well, what'll it be?"
"Remember? I used to come in here with Tucker and…uh…Sam," continued Danny, acknowledging the name similarities.
"Look, ya gonna buy something or not?" demanded Sam.
"Same old Sam," chuckled Danny, "You guys sit down, I'll order."
The rest of the crew went to a table, waiting for Danny. Jimmy sat at the edge of the table, in earshot of the table next to them.
"…so what do we do with the loot, captain?" asked a large, mechanical ghost.
"Spend it, duh," chuckled a small green speck on the table, "Do I look like Krabs to you?"
"What do we do about that Navy ship in the harbour?" the ghost mused.
"Ignore it, Skulker, it's not after us," replied the speck, "We'll go out the other side of the bay, it probably won't even notice us!"
"Aye, Captain Plankton," nodded Skulker.
Jimmy gasped. He elbowed Jenny, who was sitting next to him.
"It's Captain Plankton," he whispered.
"What?" demanded Jenny.
"Should we tell the captain?" asked Jimmy,
Jenny thought. As she did so, Plankton and Skulker got up to leave.
"We'll follow them," replied Jenny, "If they know anything about Spongebob and Timmy's friends, we'll make them tell us."
"How do you suppose we do that?" asked Jimmy.
"Jimmy," sighed Jenny, "You have a sword."
Jimmy looked down at the sword on his belt.
"Oh, yeah," he nodded, "Well, all genius' miss things sometimes. Should we tell the captain?"
"No," replied Jenny, "He might do something…"
"Naïve and stupid? Good point," agreed Jimmy.
He stood up.
"I need to use the bathroom," he announced.
"Me two," nodded Jenny, "Be right back!"
The two ran off.
Timmy glanced over to the door for a second, then he shrugged.
"Well, when you've gotta go, you've gotta go," he mused.
"I wonder what's keeping Danny," wondered Sandy.
Danny, as it turned out, had met an old friend in the line. It was his best friend, Tucker Foley, who he had lost contact with a year earlier.
"So, how's Sam?" asked Danny.
"She joined a pirate crew a few months back," shrugged Tucker, "Haven't heard from her since."
"Oh," nodded Danny, being handed the crew's orders, "So, what d'you do these days?"
"Just stuff," shrugged Tucker, "I work for a guy, no big deal."
Danny nodded again.
"So, you wanna come over to our table?" he asked.
"Nah, I'm meeting with…the guy," said Tucker, quickly.
He walked away.
"Well, that was weird," mused Danny, walking away.
Tucker walked out the back, turning to a short, bald, hunchbacked man in a blue-and-red naval uniform.
"Ah, Private Foley, what held you?" asked the man.
"I met an old friend, sir," replied Tucker.
"Who was he?" demanded the officer, suspiciously.
"Danny Fenton, Lieutenant Calamitous, sir," answered Tucker.
Calamitous nodded, a smirk printed on his face.
"Your shore leave is up," he ordered, "Return to the ship."
"Yes sir," replied Tucker, walking away.
As soon as he was out of earshot, Tucker scowled.
"I hate the navy," he groaned.
Jimmy and Jenny hid behind some barrels as Plankton and Skulker met another man.
"Ah, Crocker, buddy of mine," greeted Plankton, "You got it?"
Crocker grinned, showing a map in his hands.
"This is it," gasped Plankton, eyes wide and shining, "The map to the Golden Ship! We're rich! RIIIIIIIICH!"
He started to laugh evilly, Crocker joining in.
"Stop that," growled Plankton, pointing to Crocker, "I'm the one who does the laughing here."
"So, where is it?" demanded Skulker.
"Not far from here," replied Crocker, "About three days sail…that way."
Crocker pointed in a seemingly random direction.
"Of course," he added his eye twitching a little, "A ship made of gold is only possible by the use of…FAIRY GODPARENTS!"
Crocker twitched.
"Please, stop that," sighed Plankton.
Jimmy looked over at Jenny.
"You know," he mused, "That map could lead to something pretty valuable…"
"Yeah," nodded Jenny, "We probably shouldn't let greed cloud our judgement…"
They paused for a second.
Then they jumped out from behind the barrels, swords drawn.
"Hand over the map!" yelled Jimmy.
Plankton turned around.
"Who are they?" he asked.
"Uh, who cares?" shrugged Skulker.
"Good point," nodded Plankton, "DESTROY THEM!"
Crocker and Skulker drew swords and charged.
Jimmy ducked under Crocker's sword blow and grabbed the map, before jumping over another attempted slash. He threw the map to Jenny before hitting Crocker back, only to be blocked.
Jenny caught the map, before blocking Skulker's attack. She struck under the big ghost's legs, tripping him up, before running for the Nasty Burger, Jimmy behind.
"GET THEM!" yelled Plankton.
"You could help, you know," growled Skulker.
"Quiet, fool, I'm the captain!"
"What's holding them?" demanded Timmy, "I need to go!"
The door slammed open, and Jimmy and Jenny ran inside, Skulker and Crocker at their tail. The two ducked under the table, but Skulker cut it in two.
Danny finally walked over with the orders, and stared.
"OK, what happened while I was gone?"
Jenny stood up and blocked another blow from Skulker, before whacking him with the flat of her sword, knocking in to someone else's table.
Skulker looked at the people at the table.
The people looked at him.
The customers looked at the wrecked table.
They then looked at each other.
Then they immediately started fighting.
Skulker was whacked by a barrage of blunt instruments, but knocked the people hitting him out of the way and stormed back towards Jenny. She blocked his attack, knocking him towards Tommy, who brought out his own sword and whacked him over the head with the flat of it. The door then burst open, and the rest of Plankton's crew barged in, joining the fight.
Spongebob, Timmy, Arnold and Sandy fought them off with the flats of their swords.
"So, how're things?" asked Timmy, whacking away an alien called Ooblah.
"They're fine," nodded Arnold, hitting a super villain, Man Ray, "So, we called the ship the Krusty Krab?"
"Yeah, that was kinda an accident," admitted Spongebob.
"Not a bad name," nodded Sandy, karate chopping Crocker into another table, "So, what do we do when we're done here?"
"Pirate stuff, I guess," mused Spongebob, knocking away a large bubble, the Dirty Bubble, "Jimmy and Jenny got a map, maybe it leads to treasure or something?"
"They find a map, and we get attacked," mused Sandy, "There's a connection here…"
Not far away, Danny was holding back random angry and most likely pickled customers with a chair leg. He ran up some stairs to the balcony, where people who paid more got to sit. Two British redcoat soldiers walked up to him. One was bespectacled and short brown hair, while the other had a totally unenthused look on his face and messy, red hair.
"Sorry about this mate," the redhead apologized.
"Sorry about what?" asked Danny.
WHACK!
Danny fell unconscious as the other hit him over the head with a bottle.
"You could've been more subtle, Mark," sighed the first redcoat.
"What?" shrugged Mark, "If the captain wants 'subtle' he can come down here and kidnap this guy himself, George."
The fight continued, but Plankton's crew were getting hit hard by both the crew and the angry customers. Sam growled, pulled out a flintlock pistol and fired it into the air.
The fight stopped.
"Alright, break it up!" he yelled.
"He started it," a customer accused, pointing to Skulker.
"I don't care who started it, I'm finishing it!" barked Sam, "Whoever did this is paying damages!"
"Oh, Mister Barkeep, I do apologize."
Plankton walked out of the crowd.
"Captain Plankton?" gasped Spongebob and Sam.
Timmy looked across the recuperating crew.
"Denzel Crocker?" he gasped.
"Hey, it's that sponge kid," noticed Plankton, "How's it doing? Things been alright with you?"
"Not since you kidnapped my friends," growled Spongebob.
"Yeah, that would put a crimp on your day," nodded Plankton, casually.
"Where are they?" demanded Timmy.
"You'll never find them, Turner!" shouted Crocker, "They're hidden in a place only our crew knows the way to! Our secret fortress!"
The crew glared at him.
"Perhaps I said too much," he mused, sheepishly.
There was hushed whispering.
"So the fortress really does exist," gasped a customer.
"I'll find it!" promised Spongebob, "I'll find it and…"
"And then what, whelp?" yelled Skulker, "Then you'll get past all of our guards, find the secret key, unlock their hidden cells in the dungeon and get out alive?"
More glares.
"Oops, sorry," muttered Skulker, rubbing the back of his head.
Plankton laughed.
"Alright, if you want to mess with us, consider yourselves my nemesis…es!" he chuckled.
Man Ray walked over and handed Spongebob a blank piece of paper with a black spot burned on it.
"Here you go, I burnt it myself!"
"Yo do realise I want my map back, Neutron," reminded Plankton, "I'll be back! You know I'll be back!"
He walked away, laughing.
"The Black Spot?" gasped Tommy, "That means…"
"…Plankton's after your blood," interrupted Sam, "Better start writing your wills."
"No," said Spongebob, shaking his head, "We can't give up already. This just means we've gotta keep going, keep fighting Plankton and find our friends!"
"Yeah, and get rich too!" yelled Timmy.
There were a few stares.
"What?" shrugged Timmy, "Can't hurt to get a bit of treasure on the way."
The crew nodded, and began to cheer.
"Wait a minute," noticed Sandy, "Where the heck's Danny?"
"Ugh…"
Danny opened his eyes to find himself lying on the deck of an unfamiliar ship. He was surrounded by the red-coated marines of the Royal Navy. One of them was familiar…
"Tucker?" he gasped.
"I'm sorry, dude," whispered Tucker, looking at his feet.
"Captain's coming!" yelled Mark, "Quick, pretend you have any respect for him and salute!"
The redcoats saluted, Tucker reluctantly, as the ship's captain, resplendent in a smart blue-and-gold uniform, walked out of his cabin.
Danny's eyes widened.
"No," he gasped, "It can't…you can't be…"
The captain swaggered up to Danny, a smirk on his face and Lieutenant Calamitous at his side.
"Hello, Daniel," greeted Vlad Masters.