Disclaimer: Twilight and all of its characters and plot all belong to the amazing Stephanie Meyer nothing belongs to me but my plot (except the parts were I burrow SM Plot) and the original characters that will be introduced in the future.

Please enjoy: D

Pain…was the thing that woke me that morning.

Usually it would have been Edward's soft murmurs or kisses.

However, today it was one of the worst hangover's I have ever experienced.

Though yesterday I haven't drunk that much but I guess being away from alcohol that long and then going back shocks the body.

I almost thought I might still be in Phoenix. I almost thought that the Cullens were a fragment of my imagination.

I almost had a heart attack when I thought Edward didn't exist.

I shot up from my bed so fast you would have confused me with Alice in one of her shopping highs.

I looked around through the hideous pounding mammals in my head; I let out a sigh of relief when I realized I was still in my Forks tiny bedroom.

A sigh that was as soon as was released was turned into a muffled scream when memories of last night came rushing back like a volcano erupting ; burning and erasing countries like it burned my heart and erased my identity .

Yesterday I came to the conclusion that it will be over soon but I couldn't let myself believe that.

My poor human heart can't take the unadulterated pain that will surely accompany such discovery.

I just couldn't.

I pulled myself together and stood up.

I blocked everything from my mind and started walking to my shower. I needed to erase all the alcohol's smell or Edward will certainly smell it.

I took my shower, disposed of the bottle -the evidence- and got dressed.

I swallowed two bills to clear the haze then drank two cups of coffee, thanking God I didn't throw up all over the bathroom.

Atleast my body wasn't as light weight as it once was.

I sat on my father's couch and took a deep breath.

I smelt dust, Jasmine-the little garden in our front yard-rain and dad.

I smelt home.

I looked at the clock hung on the wall.

Edward should be here in three minutes. I felt my heart starting to accelerate, every horrible break up line started circling my mind. I almost broke down...almost being the key word.

I took a deep breath and pulled myself together and started walking to my front door. I knew he will be here on time, he always is .By the time I reached it I heard the bell ring.

I rested my hand on the door handle and promised myself one thing.

If nothing happened today and if all my fears were nothing but a teenager meltdown phase, I will tell Edward and all the Cullens everything about my past no matter how hard that will be or what it might cost me.

Even if it cost me Edward...he had to know.

I opened the door, I tried to smile and greet him. I dodn't think he even noticed he just nodded as a reply.

"Let's go for a walk" he suggested in a cold tone or you might call it his usual tone as of late.

He grabbed my hand and started walking not waiting for my reply, just pulling me along.

My insides were burning by the volcano that was leaking some lava , before the eruption. My heart was beating loudly in my ears I was sure he could hear it loud and clear.

Even with all of that, I found myself marveling at the tingling sensation traveling up my arm from where is hand held mine. My hand missed his so badly, it was gone for a week. Far too long.

Out of the blue he stopped and so did I. He let go of my hand quickly as if he was burned by the lava spewing from my heart. My poor lonely hand moroned its loss.

He rested his back against a tree truck and started at me with cold unseeing eyes.

I let out a breath "you wanted to talk. Go ahead."I said.

My voice didn't quiver like my insides were. Atleast I still had my dignity intact.

He took a deep steady breath.

"Bella the Denali Clan came over from Alaska last night, I told you about them before"

I let out a breath I was holding…so that what he wanted to talk to me about. Then why was he being so distant. It still didn't explain anything. I didn't understand.

"Ok so when do I get to meet them?"

"You don't"

Cold so cold, his voice. The lava started to splutter harder. I didn't understand.

"Why? And why did they come in the first place"

He let out a breath as if bored with my ignorance.

"Because I asked them to do so, Bella. As a matter of fact I missed Tanya for a while now and I wished to meet them again after all they are like family to us"

The lava started boiling then. I started to see where this was going. Tanya.

The gorgeous strawberry blond perfect vampire, the one who wanted Edward.

The one he said he never loved or even cared about.

"Oh, why now then? And what does that have to do with us?"

He stared at me as if trying to read me then giving up he said.

"Well after your birthday. I took a decision but the family wasn't as convinced with it as was I, so I contacted the Denali clan to come over and assist me.

They came last night we talked and they approved of my decision and convinced the family and for that I am most grateful.

They were going to leave this morning however I asked Tanya if she would be so kind to stay…..She agreed. The rest of clan decided to stay as well, they can't bear to be apart. They are in the midst of looking for a property close to ours as we speak"

Burning everywhere…so much heat inside me yet I was so cold outside. The volcano hadn't yet erupted but it was itching to do so.

"Oh. I don't understand. What decision?"

He straightened up.

"Bella, I am leaving"

Oh I almost let out a breath of relief but I still didn't understand. I mean leaving would have been expected .Did this means he finally approved of turning me. Is that why his attitude have been so strange of late?

Is he still worried about my soul? I thought I was prepared but Charlie and Renee.

I thought I still had a year. Still I was willing to let everything go, maybe it was just all in my head. Edward still loved me.

I felt a glimmer of hope fighting its ways through the emotional turmoil that was burning my insides over and over again. Still there were too many unanswered questions.

"Then why did the family needed convincing? Why did the Denali's had to convince them. I thought the situation was reversed weren't they were trying to convince you? Besides why now? I thought we agreed upon waiting another year "

He shook his head and started talking slowly as if to a little child willing them to understand.

"Bella, we aren't leaving Forks and I am not turning you. The Denali's are here because I came to a decision concerning our relationship and the family didn't agree but got convinced"

The glimmer of hope as fast as appeared it disappeared as if it was never there in the first place.

"What decision Edward?"

A tiny whisper yet I was sure he heard it as loud as if I screamed it from the bottom of lungs.

The volcano started shaking , shaking my entire body with it .I was waiting in anticipation, waiting for the moment of truth, for the moment that I have been dreading for so long.

Cold, Frigid and Sure came his answer.

"I am not leaving Forks. I am leaving you Bella .You are not good enough for me"

RED, burning, destructive lava gushed through my veins.

The volcano finally erupted breaking my cold yet fragile façade. I felt the heat penetrating the walls I kept so carefully around my mind, melting them to the ground. I felt my heart wailing, breaking yet screaming for my love to take it back.

To take my heart back and weld it together the same way he broke it, into tiny little pieces only visible to his improved vampire sight .

Red all I could see was red. Anger. Pain. Denial .A bloody red haze filled my mind.

I wasn't aware of anything but Edward standing right infront of me. Staring right into my glassy eyes. All my mind could understand was "he finally realized I wasn't good enough for him. Leaving. Leaving me …."His words over and over in my head they repeated themselves. Scalding me once then again.

His lips starting moving as if it was a speech he was reading off a piece of paper. He covered one point and now he is on to the other .A speech, not my life ending, just a few word of information.

I heard his voice through the maroon haze penetrating it like he penetrated every obstacle I have ever built around my mind and heart.

"The family wanted to still be in contact with you however they were convinced otherwise. I discovered what was always infront of me.

Tanya.

We are together now. She will be staying with us as the newest Cullen family member .We don't want to move ,so I hope you do understand how it is very vital that you don't contact us in anyway. It really isn't necessary. I know you will find someone else. You will get along with your life and soon we will leave and it will be like it never happened.

"Us" will be like it never happened.

You will forget .Your human memory is built for such tasks"

Fire ate me up. I couldn't breathe .I just wanted to die.

How cruel is that man infront of me. The man I am in love with. The man I couldn't stop loving no matter what. Tanya, Tanya, Tanya the name kept repeating in my head torturing me. Burning every good memory I have ever had of us, marking her name over my heart in an angry sign of victory.

She had Edward. She always did. He never loved me. He was always hers. All our memories meant nothing. She had him and now she had my heart too. I gave it to him and he gave it away by loving another.

Alice why didn't she come, Emmet where is he. Esme, my second mother I needed her. Why were they doing this to me? I loved them so much I will always love them .How could they be convinced so easily. Was it all a game for them all along? Toy with the human and make her believe that she had a family whom she loved then throw her away and watch her fall apart.

No Edward No. I won't find someone else. No, I won't forget. You will never be like you never existed.

All of that I wanted to scream .All of that I wanted to tell him. All of that I will never tell him. For one simple reason, he made his choice and that choice wasn't me. He didn't have to suffer because I loved him too much. Tanya will be perfect for him.

Like I will never be.

I took every ounce of strength in me to open my mouth but I had to. It maybe my last words to him. It was just a tiny whisper in a small voice I have never heard myself use.

Weak oh, so weak.

But yet again I was weak without Edward. I was no one without him, my life had no meaning. No purpose. No reason to survive.

"I understand. Tell them goodbye for me Edward. I will never forget you, any of you"

"Yes, you will Bella. You will. But promise me one thing Isabella. You have to be careful I am not going to be there to protect you anymore. Promise me Bella"

I nodded incapable of speech at the moment .He nodded and gave me one more look.

Just for one second I saw remorse, guilt and love.

Then it was all gone, and then he was gone.

I fell to the ground yet I didn't feel the impact.

Numb so numb.

I felt tears falling in rivers down my cheeks yet I couldn't stop them nor did I understand their significance.

All I could think about was Edward he left me .Every horrible memory I have suppressed came rushing back. Every wall I have built came melting and crumpling under my feet by the same lava Edward had erupted in me the moment he left me.

The pain was far greater than anything I have ever experienced.

Blood, destruction, black dresses, coffins, death, memories of grief were burning me, tutoring me. The pain was too outstanding for my human mind to comprehend.

Terrified screams echoed through the forest. Loud and frightened .

They shook the trees. They were screams of pain, loss and pure angst.

Terrified from the dark corners of my mind I was.

Yet there was no one there to rescue me.

I was being suffocated by my past and present. I was being suffocated by my mistakes of blocking the past and now everything came back to haunt me and I have nothing left in me to fight back.

Edward was my guardian angel; he was my knight in sparkling vampire skin, my savior.

My angel deserted me in a hell he started its fire.

My haunted angel.

My beautiful perfectly sculptured Adonis is no longer mine.

And fire consumed me and into the blazing darkness I melted.

Author's note:

Hi I am so sorry for the late update I will try to update faster. Please review people…I need some criticism….thx

Lots of love. Specially to those who reviewed already.

A.E.