Again, another historical disrepancy here - female redcoat. I don't care, you don't care, just roll with it.
Review replies;
TweenisodeOrange: Technically, Vlad would be a blue-coat. :P Also, I've never played the Zelda games, so Link probably won't appear. Sorry 'bout that one. Anyway, thanks for reviewing!
Zim'sMostLoyalServant: You can bet Zim will be in this eventually. (Incidentally, I still have one set of antagonists to introduce). Thanks for the review!
BlooMan2: Thank you very much! :D Thanks for reading!
Episode Three: In the Navy
The redcoats saluted, Tucker reluctantly, as the ship's captain, resplendent in a smart blue-and-gold uniform, walked out of his cabin.
Danny's eyes widened.
"No," he gasped, "It can't…you can't be…"
The captain swaggered up to Danny, a smirk on his face and Lieutenant Calamitous at his side.
"Hello, Daniel," greeted Vlad Masters.
"Yes, I can tell you find disbelief in this, can you not?" chuckled Vlad, "Questioning how I could not have possibly survived being sunk? How you saw my ship explode? How you thought I was gone forever?"
Vlad laughed heartily.
"You have to do better then that to rid the world of Captain Vlad Masters," he scoffed.
"But you didn't even leave that ship!" gasped Danny, "You…you're in the navy?"
"Surprising, isn't it," continued Vlad, "You'd find that the king is very forgiving when you offer to hand over fifty of your plunder."
"That doesn't explain who you survived!"
"Secrets, past experiences, nobody cares," sighed Vlad, waving it away, "Now lets see…I have you aboard as a known pirate just a few leagues away from other known pirates whom I can destroy quite easily. Daniel, I could hang you right now if I wanted."
Vlad leaned closer.
"I want you as my apprentice," he whispered, out of earshot of Calamitous, "I can pardon you for piracy, I can make you rich…"
"My answer isn't changing, Vlad," growled Danny, "I will never join you!"
"Tragic, tragic," sighed Vlad, "Mister Foley, take him to the brig."
Tucker nodded and dragged Danny away.
"He can't have gotten that far," mused Jenny, "I mean, he vanished about, what, an hour ago? He probably just found another of his friends around here! He'll turn up."
The pirates were still in the Nasty Burger, having looked for Danny to no avail.
"Yeah," nodded Tommy, "He can't have been arrested. This is Tortuga! The governor doesn't care what happens here!"
"Hey!"
The pirates glanced to the counter. Sam had grabbed a man and was dragging him to the door. The man was well-kept, in fact he seemed like some sort of…
British Redcoat.
"No soldiers in my business!" Sam growled.
"Get off me, I'm with the navy!" the redcoat snapped, "I'm acting under orders, you'd do well to let go right now!"
"Wait!"
Spongebob ran up to the redcoat, and looked him straight in the eye. He breathed in.
"Hi, did you see what happened to our friend, Danny?" he asked brightly.
Timmy facepalmed.
"Know the man?" snarled the Redcoat, "Silverstone and Parks collared him a few hours ago. He's currently under custody in the good ship Royal Charles out in the bay. You'll never be able to take in whatever tub you possess."
"Here we go again."
A second, female redcoat entered the Nasty Burger, looking more then a little bit miffed.
"Eustace, I leave you five minutes and you get into trouble," she sighed.
"I'm doing my duty for king and country!" snapped Eustace.
"Riiight," growled the second redcoat.
Sam walked over and collared the soldier, sighing heavily as he did so.
"Oh, no, I've been captured," sighed the redcoat, tonelessly, "Now I will have to betray my captain and help you save your friend."
"We never said you had to do that…" noted Spongebob, helpfully.
"Shh, I'm trying to help here," snapped the soldier, "Look, I'm Lil Deville, me and my twin Phil work for the Navy. We can help you save…Danny, wasn't it?"
"What makes you think we can trust you?" demanded Jimmy.
"Simple - I don't like the Captain," shrugged Lil.
"Mutiny!" snapped Eustace.
"Quiet you!" snapped Sam.
"That doesn't convince me," snarled Jimmy.
"We have a map to Captain Kidd's treasure that the captain thinks is a fake," added Lil.
"You expect us to…" began Jimmy.
"Deal," the others chimed.
Jimmy facepalmed.
"Sometimes it really stinks to be the smart guy," he groaned.
Danny sat in the brig, not talking. Tucker, Mark and George were standing guard.
"…and that is yet another reason why the French suck," finished Mark.
"Not as much as the Spanish," mused George.
"You call yourself a Briton, George?" demanded Mark, "Britain and France are like cats and dogs – they're natural enemies!"
Tucker was not involved in the rather un-politically correct conversation taking place and turned to Danny.
"Danny, I'm sorry," he sighed.
"I have nothing to say to you, Private," snarled Danny.
"Seriously," continued Tucker, "I never wanted to join the navy. It's just…"
"Just what?" demanded Danny, "You just felt like doing exactly what we vowed not to do? Did you?"
"I got press-ganged," replied Tucker.
Danny's emotions changed from bitterness to shock.
"You what?" he gasped.
"This ship landed in Tortuga, looking for new sailors," explained Tucker, "Some guy came up to me and offered me the King's Shilling…payment in advance."
"You took it?" gasped Danny, "Tucker, that's the oldest trick in the book!"
"He asked me to get him a drink and promised to pay me," sighed Tucker, "He paid me with the Shilling and his goons dragged me on the ship."
"Heh, think yourself lucky," shrugged George, "They shouted me at the tavern. Next morning, I wake up on this bucket."
"They hit me with a shovel," added Mark.
"Man, that's harsh," sighed Danny, shaking his head, "Why don't you just get rid of Vlad?"
"None of us want to get hanged," sighed Tucker, "There are too many sailors who like Vlad on the ship…that, and he pays the bills."
"Hey, lads."
A sailor entered the brig, smiling brightly. He was dirty and had a stubble.
"Evening, mate," greeted George.
The man gave a friendly wave, and Danny felt a sudden liking to this man.
"Evening, Danny," greeted the sailor, completely informally, "I'm the executioner. Sorry 'bout that one."
Danny's face fell.
Even with the torches of the buildings of Tortuga around it, the harbour was poorly lit. As a result, no one noticed a small ship douse its torches and begin sailing for the Royal Navy ship not far away.
The Krusty Krab was completely unlit and…
THWACK!
"ARG, MY FOOT!"
"Shh..."
Timmy cursed as he hopped to the bow of the ship, where Spongebob, Jimmy, Sandy and Lil were already gathered.
"What's that?" asked Spongebob, hearing drumming.
Lil's eyes widened.
"The drummer's signalling the crew," she exclaimed, "They're gonna hang someone!"
"I think we all know who," growled Sandy.
"Load the port cannon," ordered Jimmy, "Fire at the sails."
The crew nodded, and set to work.
The ship slowly drew close to the British vessel, flag's lowered and looking thoroughly innocent.
George drummed on his drum as the crew of the British ship gathered on the deck. The flogger (constantly apologising) led Danny onto the stern of the ship, ready to be pushed off with a rope around his neck.
"Right, Daniel," said Vlad, smugly, "Last chance. Join me, or face the noose."
"Sorry 'bout this, mate," said the flogger.
"Shut up," snapped Vlad.
"Vlad, I have one thing to say to you," growled Danny.
Vlad leaned in close to hear what the boy had to say.
PZZZZZT!
Vlad cringed as Danny blew a raspberry in his face at point blank range.
"You're on a noose, boy," snapped Vlad, "You're confidence is misguided!"
"So's your sight," shrugged Danny, "Mind looking to starboard?"
Vlad glanced in that direction to find the darkened shape of a ship approach alongside.
"Oh fudgenuts!" he exclaimed.
"BLOW THE CANNONBALLS INTO THEIR SHIP!" yelled Spongebob.
There was a short silence.
"Uh…the word you're looking for is fire," reminded Jenny.
"Oh, yeah," nodded Spongebob, "FIRE!"
The ship's port cannons blasted against the sails of the Royal Charles.
"Chain shot!" exclaimed Vlad, "They're ripping the sails! They don't want us to escape…"
"Thanks, Captain Exposition!" said Danny, brightly.
The second volley of fire pierced the rope and gave Danny even more to smile about.
"Flogger, tie him back up!" barked Vlad, "The rest of you, prepare round shot!"
"Round shot?" demanded Danny, "Are you nuts? You'll hit their magazine at point blank range! It'll explode!"
"Sir, begging your pardon, but wouldn't that kill us all?" asked Bill.
Vlad cringed.
"Darn it, prepare for boarders then!"
Danny looked at Vlad's crew. Many of them were on Vlad's side, of course, but just as many hated the captain for press-ganging them. If he could get them to fight…
"Captain Masters sucks!" bellowed Danny.
There was a short silence. Then Tucker gave a nod of agreement.
"Got that one right," chuckled George.
"Insolence!" yelled Calamitous, glowering.
"Stuff you!" yelled an anonymous sailor.
"Stuff yerself!"
"Come 'ere and say that!"
"Sure, I'll twist yer bloody kneecap 'till it pops, you hear?"
"Oh yeah?"
"Oh yeah!"
Danny smiled as the crew descended into pointless, uncontrolled bickering. His work here was done.
"NO!"
Vlad drew his sword from his belt and lunged at Danny. Danny ducked under the swing, and grabbed a musket and bayonet from the top of a crate. He dodged another sword thrust, and jammed the bayonet on the musket.
Vlad was infuriated. He had underestimated Danny's willingness to resist him. He had been willing to hang rather then betray his friends. He had distracted the captain long enough for his pirate friends to place him in this situation. He had spat in his face. He had reduced his crew to a bickering rabble.
All of this in the course of about three hours.
The two duelled, each blocking each other's blows as they dodged around each other. In this time, the crew of the Krusty Krab had been able to simply walk aboard, ignored by Vlad's fighting crew. They were now watching the fight.
Vlad smirked as he dodged a blow from Danny.
"You were aiming to miss with that one, Daniel," chucked Vlad, "Too afraid to draw blood, boy? Pah! You'll make a poor pirate at best!"
"I'm not gonna kill you, Vlad," snapped Danny.
"Then you are weak," chuckled Vlad.
He threw his sword to the side.
"Here you are, Daniel, standing before your hated enemy," he explained, "The one who tried to murder your father. The privateer for Holland who became feared across the seas as 'Plasmius.' The one who is now in with the Royal Navy, a trusted man of his majesty's armed forces, who willing to kill your new friends…and who is completely unarmed."
Danny didn't move. His face turned to a death glare.
"Then I win, Daniel," chuckled Vlad, "Even in failure, I succeed. As long as I live, you cannot win."
Danny's expression hardened.
"I will, Plasmius," he growled, "I'll work out how you survived. I'll find out how you got in with the Brits. I'll bring you down…and then I'll win."
Danny turned his back and walked to the plank. The pirates glanced at each other, before following.
"Hey, wait up!"
Tucker, Lil, Mark, George and an unfamiliar marine (who looked similar to Lil except a male) struggled up to them through the bickering mob.
"Hey, it's Lil, Tucker and some other guys we've never met!" exclaimed Timmy.
"Look," explained Tucker, "I'm sorry I have to work for him…"
"I know, Tuck," nodded Danny.
"Hey," mused Spongebob, "Why don't you all come with us? More pirates mean more fun, right?"
Timmy facepalmed at his friend's optimism.
"We've got a better idea," Tucker stated, grinning, "We're gonna sabotage Masters behind his back."
"Yeah, he's probably got more dirt on him then Phil on a good day," nodded Lil.
"Hey!" the other marine snapped.
"Good luck, lads," farewelled Mark, "We're rooting for you!"
Tucker watched as his friend and his new crew walked across the planks back to their own ship. He glanced back up to his captain, who was watching the Krusty Krab calmly, but darkly.
He was still there half an hour later.
Early the next morning, Tucker was on guard duty on the deck. He noticed Vlad storming out of his cabin towards his second-in-command, Calamitous.
"Calamitous, you did run that errand in Tortuga?" he demanded.
"Of course, we got Fenton…"
"The other errand, Lieutenant," growled Vlad.
"Oh, of course," nodded Calamitous, "The man was very specific. They're active off Nassau. I have reason to suspect our good pirate friends are going that way."
"Why is that?"
"The Golden Ship is also rumoured to be off Nassau," replied Calamitous with a sinister grin, "And that motley crew has the map to get there."
Tucker made a mental note to himself, and carried on with his duties.