Here is episode five. Not spectacular (if this was an actual televised series, this would be filler), but yeah.

Review replies;

avatarjk137: Thanks for that, constructive criticism is worth its weigh in gold. :) Anyway, I'll take your tips into account in future (although I've never been good at action. :/) Thanks again!

TweenisodeOrange: Don't worry, I'm not trying to neglect anything. I can just have these done quickly because I'm just fixing up older work so far. I do have some plans with to have muskets in the next episode, I'll see what else I can do. Anyway, thanks for the review!

Zim'sMostLoyalServant: Yeah, Wandissimo's fun to write. :D Thanks for reading!

Episode Five: The Golden Ship

Five soldiers and an officer walked through the caves, looking anxiously around them.

"You sure this is safe, sir?" asked one soldier.

"Of course it is," the officer snapped, "A ridiculous myth isn't going to stop me from claiming the mother lode."

"I just want to know what happened to the blokes we sent in first," a soldier quivered, "This place is ruddy unnatural."

They walked into a chamber, where a collection of golden statues stood, the moonlight shimmering out of a small hole in the cavern roof.

"Pure gold?" the first soldier gasped.

"I think that's twenty four carets," a third soldier observed in awe.

"Sir!"

The officer and the four other soldiers ran up to their comrade, who was looking at a collection of, cleaner newer looking statues.

"They look like the blokes we sent in ahead," noted the third man.

"I think we've reached the uncanny valley, sir," nodded the last soldier.

"I think these are the advance guard," the second man suggested nervously.

"Yes," agreed the officer, shaken, "Uh, I-I think we may be meddling with forces we don't understand."

He turned to the men.

"Return to the ship. We're sailing as far away from this godforsaken place as we can," he ordered.

They would be far away from the area when they realized something important.

The cave entrance had been hidden under a shipwreck on a sandbar. A shipwreck of solid gold.

Spongebob Squarepants grinned as he sat atop the crow's nest of the Krusty Krab, eating ships biscuit. Usually, eating ship's biscuit was a mind bogglingly horrible experience, but today, the captain was in high spirits.

He glanced at the horizon for the fifth time that morning, looking for signs of golden timbers on the horizon. The map Jimmy and Jenny had 'borrowed' from Plankton in Tortuga told them they were within an hour of the fabled Golden Ship, but there was still no sign of it – just a little shining yellow blob on a sandbar.

"Wait a minute…"

Spongebob squinted to get a better look. It was the Golden Ship, beached on a small bit of sand protruding from the sea.

"Guys!" he yelled, "We found it!"

He jumped off the crow's nest, realizing too late that he probably should have used the rope ladder. Landing face first, he took a moment to recuperate, then peeled himself off the deck and started running back and forth.

"We found it, we found it, we found it, we found it!" he chanted, running back and forth.

Timmy and Tommy watched the spectacle from afar.

"Anyone asks," suggested Timmy, "We don't know him."

"Anyone asks," suggested Skulker, "We don't know him."

Plankton was prancing around the deck of his ship, the Chum Bucket. The big pirate ship was far darker and edgier then the Krusty Krab, but about its equal in firepower. The ship was painted jet black, with red sails.

At last, Skulker spoke up.

"What exactly have you found, my captain?" he asked.

"Look," Plankton replied, ecstatic, "The Golden Ship! It's beached off that little island!"

"You mean the same island with the little sloop off the coast?" asked Skulker.

Plankton looked back at the island and saw the Krusty Krab approaching.

"It's that fool who stole my map," scowled Plankton, "Well, that just makes it even better! I'll sink them to Davy Jones and get filthy stinking rich, all on the same morning! Gimme five!"

Skulker's massive hand splattered onto Plankton, squashing him flat.

"Apologies, my captain."

"Uh…I could've worded that one a lot better…"

"Square-Rigger off the port bow!" yelled Danny, "It's heading right at us!"

"That's Captain Plankton's ship," mused Jimmy, "The Chum Bucket. They say it was created by a deal between Plankton and Davy Jones himself."

"Yeah, thank you, Mr. Exposition," nodded Jenny, sarcastically.

The ships came alongside each other at a quick pace, due to a high westerly wind. The Chum Bucket launched grappling hooks and brought the Krusty Krab crashing into its port side.

The pirates on both sides began fighting each other in a series of barely describable swordfights. Plankton jumped on Skulker's back.

"You!" he ordered, "Take on the sponge kid!"

Skulker nodded, and charged towards Spongebob, sword drawn.

Deep in the caverns under the Golden Ship, the statues began to shake.

Spongebob blocked Skulker's blow with his cutlass, before thrusting another at Skulker's stomach. The big ghost jumped over it with surprising agility, and lunged at the captain again. Spongebob ducked as Skulker swung his sword at neck level (never mind that Spongebob didn't have one).

Spongebob put out his leg and managed to trip Skulker as the bigger one made a step, bringing him crashing down. Plankton slid off his shoulder. Skulker failed to notice.

"Oh, you'll pay for that one, whelp," he snarled.

He lunged towards Spongebob.

"Hey!" snapped Plankton, "Get back here! I wanna see you rip him to shreds!"

A shadowed figure smiled as the statues in the cavern began to glow, dully at first, then brighter and brighter.

Spongebob backed against the mast, Skulker edging towards him with an evil grin on his face.

"Any last words?" asked Skulker.

"Yeah," replied Spongebob, "Why is the ship shaking?"

Indeed, the two ships had begun to shake violently and the sea was frothing madly.

Plankton stormed up to Skulker.

"Skulker, when I tell you…"

BOOM.

The ships seemed to rock at a high magnitude and a bright light shone across the decks. Spongebob felt himself thrown back into the starboard side, and then forward onto his face.

He faintly heard Plankton yell.

"HOLY SHRIMP, I'M FLYING!"

Then everything went black.

Spongebob's eyes opened. His vision was blurred and he could make out nothing but the solid gold timbers of the ship.

Wait, what?

Spongebob blinked and got to his feet, looking around. The ship had been completely turned into twenty-four caret gold. The sails were gold. The crates were gold. The dried up seagull waste on the railing was gold.

The crew was also gold.

"Uh…this could be bad," shuddered Spongebob.

He walked across the deck of the ship, still smashed onto the side of the also-golden Chum Bucket. He happened upon Timmy, who was frozen solid. He waved his hand in front of his face.

"Timmy?" he asked, nervously.

Getting no response, he tried other members of the crew. Danny, Jimmy, Arnold, Sandy, Tommy and Jenny – all had been turned to gold by the strange light. So had most of Plankton's crew.

Most was the key word here.

Sheldon Plankton was looking around in wonder. His eyes were wide and his jaw dropped. At last, he managed to speak.

"Wha…" he croaked.

There was a short pause.

"I'M RIIIIIIIIICH!"

The evil pirate began to dance around the decks, kissing the gold timbers and laughing evilly.

"YEAH! I'M RICH! RICHER THEN THE KING OF SPAIN! YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, KING CARLOS; I'M TALKING TO YOU! I'M…"

"Uh…Plankton," interrupted Spongebob.

"What is it, cretin?" snapped Plankton, "I'm busy celebrating my greatest success!"

"Your crew's kinda been turned into gold statues," Spongebob pointed out.

"Replaceable," shrugged Plankton.

"But…how're you gonna sail a slab of gold to port?" asked Spongebob.

"I…"

Plankton paused, realization dawning on his face. He had just remembered one of the most important rules of the sea.

Gold. Does. Not. Float.

"I'm rich and I'm marooned until I starve to death," said Plankton, calmly.

There was another pause. Plankton's face was deadly calm and stoic.

Suddenly, Plankton fell on his knees and reached for the sky.

"CURSE YOU, LAWS OF !"

Plankton fell into a sobbing wreck on the ground.

"Cheer up, Plankton," reassured Spongebob, "Don't let this horrifying freak accident which there's probably no way to reverse get you down."

"I hate you," sniffled Plankton.

"Maybe if we go onto the Golden Ship, we might find a way to…fix this, maybe?" mused Spongebob.

"That won't work!" sobbed Plankton.

"Why not?"

Plankton froze as another thought entered his head.

Why not?

Finally, Plankton pulled himself off the deck and look Spongebob in the eye.

"Alright, scumbag," he snarled, "We'll go with your plan…for now."

"Great!" cheered Spongebob.

"But be assured, fool," continued Plankton, "This is just a temporary alliance, and when this gets resolved, I will not hesitate to defeat you in glorious battle to…"

"You coming?"

Plankton glanced over to the side of the ship. Spongebob was already getting into one of the dinghies (strangely, these were still made of wood. Just roll with it, people).

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming, I'm coming," nodded Plankton, shambling towards the boat.

The Golden Ship was golden, but to be honest unspectacular. Its distinct glow was, upon closer inspection, dulled by dust and the other punishments of the weather.

This did not stop Plankton from drooling at the sight of it, of course.

"If I could tow this back to Tortuga, I'd be rich…" he was muttering to himself, "Or better yet…New Providence…"

"What's a new providence?" asked Spongebob.

"You don't know New Providence Island?" gasped Plankton, "What kind of pirate to you think you are? After Tortuga, it's the biggest pirate haven in the Caribbean! All the really sophisticated pirates sailed out of there! Jack Rackham, Black Bart, Blackbeard…"

"Henry Morgan?"

"No, simpleton, he was a privateer, get it right," snapped Plankton, "Of course, Tortuga's the best place to get rum, so most people go there."

Plankton froze suddenly.

"Why am I telling you about this?"

"So you don't start talking to yourself again?" suggested Spongebob.

"I don't talk to myself, I monologue!" snapped Plankton.

"Ooooohhhhhh."

"Hey, wait a minute," mused Plankton, "Something's struck me. The only people who weren't turned to gold were me and you…sea creatures."

He paused impressively.

"So where the heck are ManRay and the Dirty Bubble?"

Back on the Chum Bucket, ManRay and the Dirty Bubble were playing poker on the golden deck. Suddenly, they had a sneezing fit.

"Did someone just mention us?" asked the Dirty Bubble.

Spongebob and Plankton had now entered the caverns under the ship, which were not made of gold, and were also very dark and creepy.

"This place is creepy," shuddered Spongebob.

"Get a hold of yourself, boy," snarled Plankton, "If there's any de-gold-if-I-err-thing, it'll be down here."

They entered the chamber of statues, unchanged since the earlier visit by the soldiers.

"On second thoughts, maybe we should go back," mused Plankton, nervously.

"No," replied Spongebob, "I'm not letting my friends be gold statues for the rest of forever."

"Your grammar is horrendous," snapped Plankton, "Anyway, who's to say we can't just signal another ship? There's a lot of burnable stuff in here, and besides, we can sell everyone back at Tortuga!"

"Plankton!"

"Alright, fine, be moral," sighed Plankton, crossing his arms.

Spongebob inspected one of the statues, a sailor in what appeared to be a state of mild surprise. Nervously, he touched it.

"WHO DARES TOUCH MY PROPERTY?"

A shadowy figure jumped into the middle of the chamber, the light revealing him as a fish in some very nice clothes.

"Howard Blandy?" gasped Plankton, "That old Company merchant? They said you got sunk off the Bahamas!"

"Not true," nodded Blandy, calmly and stoically, "I entered a business deal with a 'Prince' Aragon. In exchange for 'looking after' his sister, the Company gets an alliance with his kingdom."

"What does 'looking after' mean?" quizzed Spongebob.

"Simple," replied Blandy, "Ms. Mattingly, as the Company has codenamed her, is being held in a small section of a world of the dead, so to speak…"

"Davy Jones' Locker," breathed Plankton.

Blandy nodded.

"Yes, Aragon loves shoving his junk in there," he explained, "As it would happen, Princess Dora felt your presence touching my statues, which I intend to sell. Naturally, I got a little bit annoyed."

"You call devilish screaming 'a little annoyed?'" demanded Plankton.

"Perhaps, but enough business talk," nodded Blandy, "Time for you two to join your friends…"

"Umm…I was actually hoping to ask if you could kinda-maybe-possibly un-goldify them," explained Spongebob.

Blandy grinned, slightly interested.

"All right," nodded Blandy, "If you can best me in a duel, I will allow Ms. Mattingly free and all of these people will be returned to normal. If you lose, I throw you both in the Locker, done deal?"

Spongebob nodded, pulling his cutlass from his belt.

"Deal."

"Oh boy," sighed Plankton.

Blandly lunged at Spongebob without warning and swung his longsword towards his leg. Spongebob barely had time to block, and the fight was opened.

Spongebob brought his sword free of Blandy's and attempted to whack him on the side of the head with it. Blandy blocked him.

"The flat of your sword?" he mused.

"We're non-deadly pirates," noted Spongebob.

"You're also pretty poor ones," taunted Blandy, knocking Spongebob back with a hit from the flat of his own sword.

Spongebob jumped to his feet, and tried to trip Blandy, but his opponent was quicker, and landed another hit to his arm, knocking the sword aside.

"Pathetic," snorted Blandy, "Hope you enjoy the locker…as for your friends, a nice trip to be melted down in Tortuga would…"

"NEVER!"

Spongebob grabbed the cutlass and jumped to his feet. With newfound strength, he lunged at Blandy and whacked him in the spleen. Blandy fell back as Spongebob launched another hit to the side of his head. Finally, he made another blow to his opponent's arm, knocking free his sword. It was grabbed…

…by Plankton.

"Checkmate," he grinned.

Blandy scowled as he got to his feet. He pulled what appeared to be a compass from his pocket.

"I was told only to use this to visit company premises, but desperate times call for desperate measures…"

He turned a knob.

Blandy grinned as the still golden figures of Timmy and Sandy, bringing out two flintlock pistols and aiming at them.

"Stand down or I fire," he snarled.

"But-but you promised…" stammered Spongebob.

"I'm sorry," sneered Blandy, "My Company authority overrules the Rules of Engagement."

"That's low even for the Company!" snapped Plankton.

"That's rich coming from you."

"Yeah, it probably is."

Spongebob continued to gape at Blandy's blatant cheating, unable to think of what to do next.

"Well, too late," shrugged Blandy, "Say goodbye to…"

"Not so fast, Blandy."

BANG!

Spongebob felt himself fall backwards as the same glow as from the beginning of the whole escapade filled the room. He shielded his eyes as it waved across the entire vicinity.

Then it dulled, and normal light (or lack thereof) returned.

The gold statues were no longer gold statues. They were instead a collection of confused sailors and in some cases soldiers.

"What the heck just happened?" asked Sandy, "How did we get in here?"

"Why do I feel like a rock?" mused Timmy, rubbing his head.

"We'll explain later," replied Spongebob, "Let's just say you all turned to gold and me and Plankton were forced into an unholy alliance to reverse the effect."

"Hey, where's Blandy?" demanded Plankton.

The group turned. Howard Blandy was standing, flintlocks still drawn. He was looking very surprised, and was completely converted to gold. On the ground in front of him was a letter.

Spongebob picked it up.

"To Spongebob and Plankton. Thank you for saving me from the locker. Unfortunately Blandy didn't say where I'd be freed if Blandy was defeated, so I'm being sent back to Aragon. Yours, Princess Dora."

He looked up.

"Hey, we're heroes!" he smiled, "Now, Plankton, about that fight…Plankton?"

Plankton had left, and Blandy had vanished as well.

The Chum Bucket sailed away from the small sandbar, Crocker looking confused as they did so.

"Why aren't we destroying them?" he asked.

"I figured we had a bit longer left in the truce," shrugged Plankton, "Now hurry up, I wanna sell Blandy in New Providence."

Crocker nodded, taking the statue down into the hold.

Spongebob, Timmy and Sandy were rowing back to the ship. (They still hadn't worked out how the rowboats had failed to turn to gold.)

"Hey, Timmy, do you know the Company is?" he asked.

Timmy and Sandy gaped at him.

"You read a five-hundred page book on pirates and you don't know what the East India Trading Company is?" Timmy demanded.

"No, I skipped that section," shrugged Spongebob, "It wasn't very piraty."

"They're the number one enemy of all pirates," informed Sandy, "They're even worse then the navy and other pirates."

"Darn those other pirates," snarled Timmy, "They ruined piracy!"

"If those varmits are after supernatural stuff like this, they're probably planning something mighty big…"

Spongebob looked back at the Golden Ship. The prospect of the East India Company some how made it seem just a little bit darker.