Disclaimer: Twilight and all of its characters and plot all belong to the amazing Stephanie Meyer nothing belongs to me but my plot (except the parts were I burrow SM Plot) and the original characters that will be introduced in the future.

p.s. This is the second chapter I upload today. Such an improvement don't you think? Please leave a review and let me know.

P.s. URGENT: This chapter is dictated to my best friend Nanooz who is out of the country at the moment. Get back soon babe. I love you.

Please enjoy: D

I woke up feeling empty.

It was such a great start for an insured horrible day. I was for the very first time in a while feeling fear creeping on me.

I was going back to school today, I couldn't even think of the pain it will bring me. Part of me was anticipating seeing his face and a part of me was dreading it with everything in me.

I couldn't help it though.

I couldn't wait to see him, all of them actually.

I really missed the feelings that his face used to bring me, the high I used to get off of his beauty.

I showered and dressed in a daze, I felt every nerve in my body tingling in anticipation, almost ruling over the emptiness that I was so used to.

A new feeling yet again, both aroused by the mere thought of seeing him again.

It simply terrified me.

I went down stairs; my dad looked up from his newspaper then smiled at me and mumbled a good morning. I could see his happiness, he thought I was improving.

I tried to smile back; the look on his face told me I didn't do much of a good job at it.

I took a bite from an apple and then throw the rest.

I mumble a little goodbye, and go to my car.

She took her sweet time getting back to life, she roared and grunted. Then finally started. I drove in another self-induced daze.

I saw the tiny school building coming into view and like clockwork goosebumps erupted all over my arms.

I almost wanted to turn around and go back home, to my secure room.

But for the life of me I couldn't ,I needed to see him ,I have gone too long without my fix of his beauty.

I tried to remind myself that numbness is way safer than eagerness, that unlike before he wasn't going to smile at me if he caught me starring more like glare.

I swallowed my fear, and parked in the furthest parking lot possible from his their usual parking spots.

A hush fell all over the place, everyone recognized my truck.

I got out.

I felt the numbness taking over. I feel stares on my body .I kept walking, someone stood in front of me, a girl, and she hugged me.

I tried to snap out of it, to answer back but at the moment I was trapped in my mind.

In a moment it finally registered with me that the girl was Angela. But then another girl and then a group of people surrounded me. My brain started focusing and noted all of my old group was around me, even Lauren.

Everyone was talking at the same time; they were asking me what happened.

How was I?

What disease did I catch, if I am still sick?

Lauren didn't ask anything she just she just said I look Like I died.

I probably did, because in so many ways I really did die.

I tried to talk but nothing came out.

I guess my voice was too rusty. When I did answer, my answer came quietly and directly, the dialogue I memorized with Charlie spilled out.

My voice only a whisper from what it once was.

A car zoomed in the parking lot.

Then another. A silver shiny Volvo then a red Jeep.

Every nerve in my body was suddenly hyper aware of his presence, I felt butterflies erupting in my stomach.

I felt nauseated. The whole group fell in a hush, I didn't understand their silence. I tried averting my eyes but it was physically impossible to do so.

I loved him too much.

I stared at his car, my eyes glued to the driver door. It opened as if in slow motion.

My heart started beating out of order, his feet, long lean legs, his torso, and his head.

My heart stopped.

I relished in the perfection that is my love.

He went around the car and opened the other door; I was confused why he was opening the door. A memory of him doing the same thing to me flashes through my brain, pain rushes through my heart eating through the remaining pieces all over again.

I looked closer; he opened the door, a stilleto, a perfectly sculptured long leg, a mini skirt, a torso and then a head.

A beautiful strawberry blond head.

My hearts stopped again but this time from the intense agony not joy.

A face appeared , a perfect beautiful face.

His strong arm went around her thin waist. I couldn't breathe.

For a moment the pain was so intense that my flimsy legs gave away, someone caught me. I couldn't decide who, I didn't care.

I was on my feet again .All my brain could register was that he got over me already, he really did.

Maybe a part of me thought he would be in pain too, maybe he still loved me, and maybe it was all a mistake of judgment on his part or even a horrendous nightmare.

It wasn't, it was reality. A cold harsh unbearable one but one nonetheless.

So fast and he already forgotten, my fear that he really never loved me proved itself accurate .

Pain so much pain it blinded me; I thought I was over it.

I thought I was too broken, that my heart couldn't feel any of it anymore.

I was sadly mistaken.

It took Jessica physically shacking me as I looked at her blindly, to wake me up.

"You didn't know did you?"

I shook my head; I was in capable of speaking. Yet, it was a lie. He told me that day that they were together. I just thought that he will wait.

That maybe he was in even a small amount of pain. I never considered that he might flaunt her in my face like this.

Lauren chuckled and surprisingly it hurted me more than I will ever care to admit

" so, he dumped you eh?"

Again she managed to twist the knife, I nodded.

she chuckled again" well if I could dump you for her, I will"

I agreed with her, Tanya was too beautiful.

I simply couldn't compete with that.

I zoned out again, they talked and walked to class. I walked slowly behind them.

I thanked god they didn't relate the break up to my absence. I didn't think I could tolerate the pity looks.

I shuffled through my classes. I acted mechanically. Taking notes, nodding, acting like an actual human being and not for once did I feel like one.

Author's note:

Hey guys. Do you see this little button please press it. Leave little old me a review. I assure you it will make my day. I am sure it will inspire me into writing the next chapter ;)

More reviews = Faster updates

Lots of Love.

A.E.