I'd like to note that I got the idea of Ember being a siren from SOLmaster. However, I did try to keep this original. If SOLmaster wants me to remove this, I shall without hesitation.
Now, review replies;
TweenisodeOrange: *plays the Imperial March from Star Wars.* Good one. Thanks for reading!
Clockwork Oracle King: It was there. Damn you, Fanfiction, you made me look stupid! XD Thanks for the review.
Zim'sMostLoyalServant: Yep, they'll show up again. Of that you can be certain. Thanks for reviewing!
Episode Six: The Siren Episode Episode
The ship lay on the rocks, unmoving and badly damaged. Much of her hull had been ripped to pieces upon running aground, and the timbers were eerily slanted. She was illuminated by a bright moonlight. It was obvious that this was a shipwreck…and a salvage opportunity.
Suddenly, a small collection of torches began to light up the darkened hold of the ship. A Royal Navy officer, followed by a Lieutenant and six redcoat soldiers, walked down the damp lower deck, heading towards a door on the far side.
Captain Vlad Masters looked apprehensive as he approached. Suddenly, he turned around and barked out an order.
"Private Parks," he ordered, "Start drumming!"
George looked confused.
"Advance or retreat, sir?" he asked.
"Advance," Vlad replied, seeming not to care.
George shrugged, and began to drum.
Tucker Foley turned to Mark Silverstone and Lillian Deville, and hissed out a whisper.
"What's so important about this wreck?" he asked.
"Search me," shrugged Mark, "Probably just a salvage mission."
"If it's salvage, why did he ask George to drum?" mused Lil.
"What the heck's even worth salvaging here?" demanded Tucker.
"Mud?" suggested Phillip Deville.
The other soldiers stared at him.
"What?" shrugged Phil, "We were running out of that supply we had in the hold!"
The last redcoat, Eustace Strytch, turned to face him, aghast.
"You've been eating the ballast?" he demanded, "That's disgust-"
"Shh!" snapped Vlad.
They had reached the door, and Vlad was looking it over. George was still drumming.
"Can I stop now, sir?" asked George.
"No," snapped Vlad.
He turned to Lieutenant Calamitous.
"Here's where we find out if our contact was correct," he noted, "Foley, Silverstone, open the door!"
Tucker and Mark took their muskets and began to batter the door their bayonets. At last it broke free, and fell off the hinges.
Vlad and Calamitous stepped into the room, followed by the redcoats. There was a small desk, presumably the captain's, and limited furnishings. The captain was standing by his desk, looking sleepy and entranced.
"Captain!" called Calamitous.
The Captain put on a strange smile.
"Ember…" he muttered.
He repeated this name at irregular intervals.
"She's here, alright," nodded Vlad, "Very close. Very, very close I'd say."
He grinned unpleasantly as he walked behind the desk, Eustace and Calamitous following him. Eustace ducked under the table. There were a few bumps, and Eustace came out, collaring someone.
It was a girl, perhaps somewhere between fourteen and eighteen, with blue hair and emerald eyes. Her hair, if one looked closely, seemed to be on fire. Her skin tone was also a strange, unearthly pale.
"Men, present," snapped Vlad.
The redcoats pulled out their muskets, aiming them at the girl.
"So, I'm guessing you would be our little siren, correct?" asked Vlad.
"What does it matter to you, old man?" snapped the girl, "No-one can kill a siren."
"Oh yes, I'm perfectly aware of how you work," nodded Vlad, "That's why I brought this drummer, to limit your power while we enter negotiation."
"Negotiation?" asked the girl.
"I am offering you as many souls as you could possibly need," explained Vlad, "In exchange for an alliance, of course. Captain Vlad Masters, by the way."
He offered his hand. The girl seemed to think it over before grinning and shaking Vlad's outstretched hand.
"Ember McLain," she replied, "So, what is it you want me to do?"
The Krusty Krab was not far out of the British port of Nassau, not that it was intended to stop there. They were heading south, back in the direction of Tortuga. It had only been a day since the Golden Ship escapade, and it was still fresh on everyone's minds.
"I can't believe someone could conjure up a device to turn matter into gold," mused Jimmy.
"Will you stop that?" sighed Danny, "Can you stop trying to explain how it could possibly work without magic?"
"Certainly," nodded Jimmy, "All it takes is…"
Meanwhile, Timmy, Tommy and Jenny were patching up a sail that had been ripped overnight by rain.
"You heard?" asked Timmy, "There's a new rule for Royal Navy captains."
"What's that?" asked Jenny.
"They're not allowed to spare pirates if their women anymore," shrugged Timmy.
"So before, they were allowed to spare them if they liked them?" asked Tommy.
"Yeah," nodded Timmy, "The Navy's against the new rule because they don't think woman pirates are as dangerous."
"What?" snapped Jenny.
"Well, it's true," shrugged Timmy, "How come all the famous pirates are all guys?"
"Take that back!" demanded Jenny.
Tommy glanced between them both.
"I…think I'm gonna man the bilge pumps," he decided, walking away.
"What do you mean, girl pirates aren't as good as boy pirates?" snapped Jenny.
"It's true!" argued Timmy, "I mean, I've never heard of a girl pirate stealing from the Navy!"
"I've never heard of you stealing from them either!" reminded Jenny.
"That's different!" snapped Timmy, defensively, "We just haven't gotten around to it yet."
"I can be just as good a pirate as you could!" growled Jenny, "Back me up here, Danny!"
"Huh-what?" gasped Danny, surprised at being called out to, "Uhh…yeah, whatever you say."
"Oh yeah?" demanded Timmy.
"Oh yeah!" snarled Jenny.
"Oh yeah?"
"Oh yeah!"
"Oh yeah?"
"Oh yeah!"
"Hi guys," greeted Spongebob as he walked up.
Timmy and Jenny turned to him.
"Oh yeah?" they thundered.
Spongebob stared for a few moments.
"What did I miss?" he asked at last.
Down in the bilge, Tommy was working on the pump, pumping out the excess water sloshing around his feet.
"This job really stinks," he sighed to Arnold, who was helping him.
"That's why you should wear shoes when you come down here," nodded Arnold.
Sandy walked down the stairs towards them.
"Timmy and Jenny are arguing again," she warned.
"We know," nodded Tommy, "That's why I'm down here. Seriously, that's the third time this week!"
"Timmy has been a bit of a jerk lately," mused Sandy.
"He's probably still mad about Remy," shrugged Arnold, "That 'secret' that Danny talked about must be something pretty important."
"I wonder what it is…" muttered Sandy.
"If he wanted to tell us, he'd tell us himself," shrugged Tommy.
They left it at that.
"Of all the mad, insane plans this captain has executed," decided George, "This is probably the weirdest."
He was standing on the bow of the Royal Charles with two sailors, drum ready. The sailors were carrying flutes, and in front of them, Vlad and Ember were going through the schematics of their plan.
"So, how far is the range?" asked Vlad.
"To the horizon, old man," replied Ember, "Way I see it, the only ships we're gonna get are three fishing boats and a sloop."
"It's the sloop that we want, madam," noted Vlad, "Now, how do we get started?"
"Your dipsticks start playing whatever the heck it is you Brits march to," replied Ember, "Stop when I give the word."
She pulled out a guitar. Vlad noted that it looked very different to any he'd seen. Of course, the electric guitar wouldn't be invented until the 1950s, so he had a right to be confused.
"Parks, drum," Vlad ordered, "You men, British Grenadiers."
"But we're not Grenadiers," interrupted George, "We're marines…"
"Just do it," sighed Vlad.
The men obliged, and started to play.
Jimmy looked away from the awkward argument that Spongebob had accidentally inserted himself into and glanced at a ship on the horizon. He could hear music playing from the distance.
"British Grenadiers," he realized, "It's a Royal Navy ship."
He grabbed a spyglass and looked closer.
"Leaping Leptons!" he gasped, "Guys, its Vlad's ship!"
The redcoats on the Royal Charles watched their comrades play.
"Gotta admit, they're quite good," mused Mark.
"Yeah," nodded Tucker, "It's kinda sad when we're better at playing music then actually doing our jobs."
Ember turned to Vlad, grinning.
"OK," she explained, "Stop the flute players and keep the dork with the drum playing."
"Hey!" snapped George.
Vlad held out his hand, and the flute players stopped.
Ember started playing the same music on her guitar. This time, however, it seemed different, and not just because it was on an electric guitar. It was somehow…distorted.
Back on the Krusty Krab, Jimmy's hand began to loosen around his spyglass. It slipped from his hand and dropped into the sea.
Timmy's arm fell away from repairing the sail and his face seemed to turn blank. Behind him, Spongebob's eyes became unfocused, and behind them all, Danny's eyelids began to droop.
Jenny looked at the crew on the deck.
"What in the…" she mused.
"So the drumming is protecting my own crew," mused Vlad, "While the guitar grabs the attention of everyone else. Interesting."
"It gets better," promised Ember.
The music she was playing began to melt into something extremely different.
"Ember…you will remember…"
Tommy and Arnold were sitting in the muck and water at the bottom of the ship, looking vacant.
"Guys," called Sandy, waving her hand in front of Tommy's face, "Is anyone home?"
She strained her hearing. The music was still playing.
"Ember…one thing remains…"
"Ember…" said Tommy, in a low, trancelike tone.
"You will remember my name…"
"Catchy, isn't it," mused Lil.
"That, or depressing," nodded Mark.
"It's supposed to be catchy," realized Tucker, "That thing's a siren, remember! Vlad's taking over the minds of everyone in hearing range!"
"Including the Krusty Krab," gasped Lil.
"Uh-oh," gulped Phil.
Vlad looked through his spyglass at the nearby fishing boats. Each one was lowering their original flags and raising a new one…the Red Ensign of the Royal Navy.
Jenny was attempting to snap the other pirates out of their trance, to no avail. They were now lowering their normal flag, replacing it with the navy's flag.
"What the heck is going on here?" demanded Sandy, stepping out from under the decks.
"Don't know," shrugged Jenny, "Where'd we get a navy flag from?"
The two turned to look to the horizon. There, they could see a familiar ship.
"Vlad," they realized.
"You will remember my name!"
Ember's song finished. The crew looked at each other, shrugged, and applauded.
Ember turned to face Vlad and Calamitous. Vlad was clapping politely.
"So," said Vlad, "Where is it you make port? I need to discuss something."
Ember rolled her eyes.
"Sirens don't make port, old man, they have havens," she explained, "And I'm not just letting you drag a whole bunch of ships into my haven just so we can talk."
"Quite right," nodded Vlad, "Calamitous, gather some soldiers. We'll board the pirate vessel and take it to her 'haven.'"
"Foley, Silverstone, Parks, Deville, Deville, over here," snapped Calamitous.
"How did I know it would be us?" muttered George.
Jenny and Sandy were still trying to wake up the rest of the crew when they heard a clunking noise over the side.
Slowly, they brought out their cutlasses as Vlad appeared over the side of the ship. He glanced at the remaining crewmembers and grimaced.
"What the – Ember!" snapped Vlad.
Ember crawled up the side of the ship, looking annoyed.
"What now, pops?" she sighed.
"I thought you said you would control everything!" he snapped.
"You never specified wether or not everything meant girls, genius," shrugged Ember.
Vlad facepalmed.
"Very well," he snarled at last, "Men, deal with them!"
"Wait!"
Sandy gave a confused look as Jenny raised her arms.
"We'll come quietly," assured Jenny.
"Jenny, what're you…" whispered Sandy.
"Play along," hissed Jenny.
"Easier then expected," nodded Vlad, "Very well, I accept your surrender. We'll head to Ember's haven, and then I'll hang you both. You know, the new legislation, not that I ever planned to spare any of you…"
"Since when has he cared about legislation," muttered Phil.
"Foley, Silverstone, take them below and don't let them escape," ordered Calamitous, "The rest of you, guard the crew."
"Aye, sir!" saluted Tucker, leading their 'prisoners' under decks.
After 'failing' to chain the 'prisoners' up in the hold, Tucker locked the trapdoor to the deck.
"Alright, now what?" asked Mark.
"We wait," replied Jenny, "Vlad's taking the ship to Ember's haven, right? We wait until we get there, follow Vlad and then beat both of them the old fashioned way."
"The plan seemed perfectly stable until the 'follow Vlad' part," noted Tucker.
"That's where you two come in," nodded Sandy.
Ember's haven was a simple cove not far from their position, only an hour's sail, in fact. It was surrounded by palm trees, and a small strip of beach indicated where Vlad and Ember would be 'negotiating.'
Tucker and Mark walked ashore, carrying one of the ship's dinghies.
"What are you doing?" demanded Calamitous, walking over.
"Taking a dinghy ashore in case the tide comes in," replied Tucker, "We chained up the prisoners, don't worry about it."
Calamitous eyed the dinghy for a while, then nodded, and walked back to Vlad and Ember. The hypnotised crew and the marines stood nearby.
"I'm asking you to gather a fleet so that I may destroy a few…local admirals," explained Vlad, "Honestly, no one will miss them, anyway."
"What about us?" asked George.
"You don't count."
"That'd take a lot, gramps," mused Ember, "I'd need about…six months to gather your fleet."
"Six months?" demanded Vlad, "It only took you three minutes to get this crew!"
"It's not like your giving me much of an incentive to work," shrugged Ember.
"I gave you souls!"
"Err, earth to dipstick," sighed Ember, "Sirens don't want souls. I just wanted a bit of fun, you were offering, and now I'm done."
"You are not done," snarled Vlad, bringing out his rapier.
"What did I tell you before?" chuckled Ember, "You can't kill sirens!"
"No," nodded Vlad, "But I can do better. Parks, give the Lieutenant the drum."
George gave Calamitous the instrument.
"Calamitous, you know the beat."
Calamitous began to drum in a strange, slow tone. Ember suddenly began to hold her head and cry out in pain.
"Still want to betray me?" he asked.
He turned to Tucker and Mark, and let out a heavy sigh.
"Foley, Silverstone, it would take an idiot to not know what you're doing," he sighed, "Move the dinghy."
Mark and Tucker moved the dinghy a small way to the left.
"Turn it by ninety degrees."
Tucker and Mark turned it, revealing…nothing.
"What the-"
He looked around, sighting a nearby rock. He was about to dismiss it when Jenny and Sandy jumped out from behind it. The former had a cutlass, and the latter had extracted a plasma sword from her right arm.
(A/N: I am aware that plasma swords don't exist now, never mind the eighteenth century. To anyone who is complaining – shut up.)
"I'll talk to you about this later," hissed Vlad to Tucker and Mark.
"Let my people go!" demanded Jenny.
Sandy glanced at her, confused.
"I'm sorry, couldn't resist."
"Of course, the remaining crew of the Krusty Krab," mused Vlad, "I should have guessed Mr. Foley's ineptitude would allow escape."
He brought out his own sword, sneering.
"Well, it hardly matters," he boasted, "I am rather adept at the whole duelling business. If Daniel represents your swordplay standards, they have…much to be desired."
"I'll take him," whispered Jenny, "You get that drum."
Jenny rushed towards Vlad, who quickly blocked.
"Nice try," he snarled.
"What do we do now?" asked Phil.
"Cheer," replied George, bluntly.
The redcoats looked at each other, before shrugging and rooting on the pirates.
Calamitous glared at them.
"I am really going to have to talk to the Captain about our morale," he sniffed.
He cringed suddenly as the flat of a large metal bladed object hit the back of his head. He stepped forward, and missed a beat.
Ember's hair began to burn a little more, but subsided as Calamitous got his act back together.
Calamitous turned, to find Sandy readying another attack.
"Fool!" he exclaimed, "You want this drum? You'll have to get past my bodyguard!"
"Bodyguard?"
Calamitous began drumming another beat. Ember's blue hair suddenly changed to a deep red, and she stood up. Her eyes opened, revealing no pupils.
"Attack!" demanded Calamitous.
Ember nodded, grabbing a musket off Phil and walking towards Sandy.
"I should've seen that coming," she deadpanned.
Vlad ducked under a swing from Jenny, before attempting a blow of his own. Jenny jumped over it.
"Not bad," complimented Vlad, "I'm beginning to see what the king saw in that new legislation."
"Will everybody just stop mentioning that new rule!" demanded Jenny.
"Of course," nodded Vlad, "Back to business."
He made a jab at Jenny's torso, with she dodged.
"If I may ask a personal question," mused Vlad, blocking Jenny's leftward swing, "What has gotten your blood up; or at the very least, the robotic equivalent of your blood up?"
"I'm trying to prove something," replied Jenny, blocking a downward strike from Vlad.
"Interesting," considered Vlad, jumping over a blow at his legs.
Sandy and Ember were now in full duel mode, Ember's bayonet proving rather capable. Ember fired the shot from the musket, but it missed.
Sandy managed a hit on Ember's leg, tripping her up.
"That one's for my friends, you varmit!" she snapped.
"Friends?"
Calamitous was still standing aside, watching.
"You consider the rest of your crew 'friends'," he mocked, "Don't make friends on a ship, girl…the sea is a dangerous place, especially with our cannons tracking you."
"Sure," taunted Sandy, "Tell me when you can get 'em to work."
By now, Ember had gotten to her feet, and they began to fight again.
Calamitous seethed in his corner.
"Our cannons do work," he snapped, "We just couldn't use them because you insisted on sailing so close!"
He began to drum harder in his annoyance.
Jenny made another blow at Vlad, which he ducked under, before booting her in the chest. Jenny fell back, dropping her sword.
"That was cheap," she spat.
"Welcome to the Caribbean," sneered Vlad, "Cheating is a viable action here."
"Really?"
Jenny extracted a pistol from her left arm, pulling back the flintlock.
"No powder," snarled Vlad, "You're no-death policy dictates that."
"You sure about that?" challenged Jenny.
Vlad froze.
Was he?
He looked down the barrel. He was pretty certain it had no powder, but not certain enough to bet his life on it.
He grinned evilly.
"I win again," he gloated, "You, madam, have been corrupted. For you see, threats like that are the first step on the road from where you are…to where I am."
He dropped his sword.
"Of course, that means nothing, given that Calamitous is both extremely annoyed and controlling Ms. McLain over there," he continued.
Jenny turned to face them. Realization clicked in her mind.
"The Drum!"
Sandy was cornered against a large rock, cutlass still in hand.
"Go ahead, do your worst!" she snarled.
"I intend to," nodded Calamitous, "Ember, you know what to do."
Ember picked up her guitar and began to strum wildly.
Phil glanced over to the brainwashed pirates.
"Hey," he asked, "Are they supposed to be glowing?"
"No, you lummox!" gasped George, "She's draining their energy! She attacks, and they get drained dry!"
"…and by the looks of Calamitous, so does Ember," mused Lil, noting the wild grin of Calamitous' face.
"So what now?" asked Mark.
"Keep cheering," replied George.
Jenny darted over to the drum as Ember began to fire her blast.
Calamitous grinned evilly and turned to see how Vlad was doing.
A large foot filled his vision.
Calamitous' head fell backwards.
Jenny landed on the ground and dramatically lunged her sword into the drum (quite unnecessarily).
Ember let off a small tinge of her attack, which very lightly pricked into Sandy's arm.
This was followed of three seconds of everyone looking very confused, and, in Calamitous' case, bleeding from the nose.
Then Ember's pupils returned and her hair turned to its normal blue.
Angrily, the siren turned to Vlad.
"You son of a…" she snarled, readying her guitar.
She stopped and thought for a second, before grinning.
"That ship is yours, right?" she asked Jenny, pointing to the Krusty Krab in the cove.
"Well…yeah," nodded Jenny.
"OK, here's the deal," explained Ember, "I'm gonna let all of Masters' little slaves free. Then you can leave this frootloop behind with the dinghy…figure he can row home."
"I AM NOT A FROOTLOOP!" bellowed Vlad.
"Sounds good," nodded Jenny, "I just want one thing."
"I don't…" Ember began.
"I want the rest of our crew to keep their memories of this," said Jenny, "Every. Last. Detail."
Sandy walked over to find Ember shaking Jenny's hand, and the latter grinning her head off.
"What did I miss?" she asked.
"Say it again," smirked Jenny.
"You saved my butt," sighed Timmy, moodily.
"And again."
"You saved my butt."
"OK, I'm done now," grinned Jenny.
The Krusty Krab was sailing away from the cove, leaving Vlad, Calamitous and the unfortunate band of redcoats to row the hour's sail to their ship manually. They had felt a little guilty about leaving the redcoats behind, but if they ferried the marines back to the Royal Charles, Vlad would probably suspect them of assisting the pirates.
Well, more then he already did.
The broken sail from earlier had finally been patched up, and Timmy was more then happy to get away from Jenny, who was savouring the buck-toothed boy's humiliation. He entered the captain's cabin (unused, as Spongebob slept with the rest of the crew in the hold) and looked angrily out the rear window of the ship, watching the cove vanish.
"What're you doing?"
Spongebob walked into the cabin, looking confused.
"The crew keep saying…"
"I've heard them," snapped Timmy, "I'm a jerk, I'm moody, whatever. Honestly, if I could tell them, I would! D'you think I like keeping this a secret? So what if I'm a jerk, I haven't been lying to everyone for two years just for Remy to ruin it all in one night!"
He sighed, and sat down.
"Why do pirates even need rules?" he groaned, almost to himself.
He buried his head in his hands, both he and Spongebob unaware that they were being watched from the door. Sandy shook her head and walked away, deciding not to intervene.