Chapter Notes - This is a "talky" chapter, not a lot of action. However, it is (I hope) setting up the rest of the story and the summary will begin to make sense in the coming chapters. Thanks again to all who have been reading and reviewing. Since this is my first attempt at fan fiction, your constructive criticism is really appreciated.

Previously:

"Tell me what's wrong," Ranger said.

"It's just….I don't know. He kissed me. He forced his tongue into my mouth and cut my lip with his teeth. He marked my neck, Ranger. I can't get the feel of him off me. I've been hurt so much worse physically, but I've never felt so violated. It's like his evil is in my skin and it won't come out." I tried to roll away from Ranger. "I'm sorry. I don't want you to touch me. You'll get infected too!' I was crying harder now, but the more I tried to pull away the more tightly Ranger held me.

"Shhh, Babe…Stephanie, you have to listen to me," Ranger said soothingly. "Those marks don't say anything about who you are as a person, except that you are strong and brave and good. You deal with scum like that and put yourself in danger so that other people, in this case, other women, will be safe. You are the antithesis of evil. You are everything that is right and good, Babe. Do you hear me? The only thing that could possibly infect me is your spirit, and for that I would be proud and honored."

I couldn't speak, just shook my head. He didn't know how wrong he was.

The next morning, after the smut (!):

I looked at him seriously for a minute. "You did it. You chased all the ugly away. Thank you, Ranger."

Ranger and I slept again, my back to his front, with his arms protectively around me. I wanted to stay wrapped in his arms forever. I lay as still as possible, willing my breathing to remain steady so that he wouldn't wake up. I wished with all my heart that we could stay that way forever. I knew that reality would come, Ranger would remind me that he doesn't do relationships and all the rest. Honestly, it would break my heart, but I wouldn't have given up this time together for anything. It wasn't the sex, although that was spectacular, but the total sense of peace and serenity I felt inside, that this was so right, that he was my life. Ranger was my best friend and I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize that. I had to make sure that I didn't do anything to push him away. If he knew how much I loved him, he would send me away, or take himself out of the picture, move to another RangeMan city. I would do whatever it took to stay a part of his life, in whatever way he would accept me.

"Something burning there, Babe?" Ranger said softly.

"I thought you were sleeping," I answered back to him. "How long have you been awake?"

"As long as you have, but I like lying here with you," Ranger said as he kissed my neck and shoulder.

He gently rolled me over so that we were lying on our sides facing each other. "We need to talk, Babe."

My heart started racing and I focused on breathing in and out, trying not to let Ranger see the panic in my eyes. "Do we have to?" I whined. Oh great, whining. That will really turn him on.

"Everything about you turns me on, Babe," said Ranger with that almost-smile of his playing at the corners of his mouth.

"Did I say that out loud?" I asked. I have got to stop doing that!

"I want to ask you about Morelli. Are you and he finished for good this time? I know that in the past I've encouraged you to work things out with him. Forget about me for a second. What do you want? Do you want a future with Morelli?" Ranger's eyes never left mine as he spoke.

"I do want a future with Morelli," I started to answer. I could feel Ranger stiffen next to me. "Wait, let me finish. I want a future with Morelli as my friend, and that's all. He's been in and out of my life for as long as I can remember. I love him and he'll always have a special place in my heart, but I don't love him the way he loves me. I never did. It was more that I loved the idea of being in love with him. Right now he says he can't be my friend, but if he ever feels that he can be my friend, then that's what I want."

"What about me?" Ranger asked. "Do you want a future with me?"

My heart was beating so loudly in my chest that I was surprised I could hear Ranger's voice over the pounding. "You're my best friend, Ranger. I don't ever want to do anything to lose you."

"Why would you think you would lose me? I've told you that I love you. Do you think I take that statement lightly or that I've said that to a lot of women?"

"No, I don't think you have, Ranger. I'm in awe that you would feel that way about me. I don't know why you would when I blow up your cars and break your men with frightening regularity." I answer back.

I continued, "But, you've also made it clear that you don't want a relationship with me. I'm afraid that eventually you'll push me away, or you'll just go away and never come back. I don't want to get married and have kids right now, and maybe I never will, but I can't settle for less than a committed relationship. I'd rather give that up and remain your friend forever, than have you get tired of me or feel that I want more from you than you are willing to give, and then have you push me away."

"Stephanie, think about it," Ranger said. "I know I said that I didn't want a relationship, but friendship is a relationship. Besides my core team, the men who have saved my life more times than I care to admit and whose lives I have saved as well, you are my best friend. Your friendship isn't based on the bonds men form in war, when trust in your fellow soldiers is the only thing that keeps you alive. You see me in a way that nobody else does. You see past my 'blank face,' as you call it. I can see it in your eyes, when everyone else around me, including my men, thinks that I am showing no emotion, you know how I feel. You see past the mask. It scares the hell out of me."

Ranger took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a minute. I waited for him to continue. He had spoken more to me in the last few minutes than the last 3 years, but it wasn't enough yet. It still felt unfinished.

"Babe, can we try this again? I want to be your mentor, friend, and your lover. Only you. I don't share. I won't pretend that I like the idea of you being friends with Morelli, but I won't stop you. I won't try to do to you what he tried to do. I'm not going to stop trying to get you to eat better, exercise more, and improve your skills. That's just who I am. But I do love you, in this moment, exactly the way you are and I don't want to change you."

I was stunned. Ranger loved me? And he didn't qualify that love? He's pouring out his heart to me? Who is this guy?

"I have always been this guy, Babe." Oh geez. I said it out loud again!

Ranger continued, "I'm also a mercenary and a bad ass. I've done scary things and I've seen more than my share of horrors. I've seen people at their absolute worst. You see all the parts of me, even the parts that nobody else does, parts that I didn't even realize were there. I'm tired of fighting my feelings. I love you."

I felt a lightness in my chest and thought I would float away. I never expected this. I hoped and dreamed and I would have sold my soul to the devil if given the chance, but I never expected it.

"I love you, Ranger. I have for a long time. It scares me and thrills me at the same time. I know that you have a scary past and you can be a scary guy. The thing is, I wouldn't change those things if I could, because they are part of who you are. I'd be shocked and probably disappointed if you didn't push me to do better, be better, eat yucky green stuff." I was rewarded with a grin. "Even when you are pushing me, I never get the feeling that you don't respect who I am or accept me for who I am, donuts and ice cream and all."

My heart was still pounding and I had one more thing that I needed to say. "I don't share either, Ranger. I don't need a ring. Hell, I don't even need a condom - I've got the birth control thing handled on my end. But I need to know that you are committed to us, and a future together. And if it doesn't work out, for whatever reason, you have to promise me that I won't lose your friendship. I couldn't survive that."

"Babe, if I didn't feel that I could do all those things we wouldn't be having this conversation. I'd already be back at RangeMan, telling myself that we couldn't be together and that I couldn't think about the future. I'm here now, with you, having this conversation. That's a big step for me."

I looked into Ranger's eyes and saw the love there that I knew was reflected in my own. "You love me," I said simply.

"I love you," Ranger replied.

"Thank you," I said. "Thank you for believing me, for accepting me for who I am, for helping me believe in myself, for loving me."

"Thank you," Ranger said. "Thank you for allowing me to live again, to feel again, to love again. Thank you for loving me."

"You really love me," I said again. I couldn't stop a huge grin from spreading across my face.

"I'm afraid so," Ranger returned my smile.

I stretched and arched my back, feeling the tension release from my body. "Show me," I said.

"Gladly," Ranger said simply.

And he did.