Author's Note: I'll admit I'm copying off E350 here. I can't help it. I freakin' LOVE Oregon Trail, and I figured if I was going to waste my time playing it, I might as well use it for this. Oh, Bold is me talking, Italics is what happened in the game, and normal font is of course the characters talking.
Control
Oregon Trail is a game of chance. You have little control over the outcome. That still does not explain how this happened.
Loading the Wagon… Oh, how clever!
Timmy, a Banker with $16000 came to Independence, Missouri in 1848 with his friends Cosmo and Wanda, their baby boy Poof, and Molly. He bought five yoke of oxen, 1000 pounds of food, twenty sets of clothing, fifteen boxes of twenty bullets, and three of each spare part. Overall, it cost him $820.
"So guys, you ready to go?" Timmy asked his companions.
"Where did you get all that money?" Molly asked him suspiciously.
"I'm a banker." Timmy explained.
"No you're not."
"Well, I got the money from a bank."
April 1, 1848. Out from Independace
Ok, let's get started then. I think we can start the journey out 'Strenuous'. Oops, I set it 'Grueling'… let's see how this pans out.
"Timmy, are you sure we should have brought Poof along, this is a lot of hard work for him. Especially when we're going about 17 miles a day!" Wanda complained.
"Hey, it's a lot of work for me too!" Cosmo added.
"You guys think you have it bad?" Molly asked dryly, "You guys can float. We're the ones walking over hill and vale."
"Don't worry guys, we'll get used to the traveling in a few days." Timmy assured them. "With this pace we'll be in Oregon in no time!"
April 7, Kansas River Crossing
"Hey guys, want a tip for river crossing?" Ned Bigby asked the party as they rolled up to the river.
"Sure." Timmy said, "I heard river crossing is one of the hardest things on the trail."
"It is, if you don't know the right way to do it." Ned assured them. "Just remember, if the river is deeper than the wagon box, at about two-and-a-half feet deep, you won't be able to ford it."
"How deep is this river?" Wanda asked.
"About three feet deep." Ned said.
"See, talking to people is helpful!" Timmy told Molly, "I would have just forded it if he hadn't told me that!"
In Oregon Trail II, the version I'm used to playing, you can still get away with it up to three-and-a-half feet, most of the time. If I hadn't talked to anyone, I probably would have forded it.
Timmy caulked the wagon and floated it across the river safely.
"Oh my gosh, we made it guys!" Timmy yelled in amazement when they reached the other shore.
"Yeah, I'm just as surprised as you are, but you don't hear me yelling about it." Molly snarked.
April 10, Big Blue River Crossing
"Don't drive your animals too hard." Sam Manson told Timmy, "They look tiered. Are you treating them alright?"
"They're fine, the exercise is good for them!" Timmy insisted. Sam, and the rest of his party, glared at him, "But just to be on the safe side, I'll go back to strenuous."
Timmy caulked the wagon and floated it across the river safely.
Ok, we are seriously tempting fate here. They made it again?
April 13, on the Trail. Timmy passed a grave.
"Peperony and chease?" Wanda read in confusion.
"Oh, poor Chase! WHY?" Cosmo moaned.
"Get a grip, Cosmo." Molly demanded.
April 15, Fort Kearney
"Let's check our supplies before we buy anything." Molly advised.
"Good idea. Let's see, we have ten oxen, twenty sets of clothing, 300 bullets, three of each spare, and 790 pounds of food." Timmy inventoried, "Looks like we don't need to buy anything.
"But… shopping!" Wanda exclaimed. Molly gave her a withered look, and no more was said on the topic.
April 24, Chimney Rock
I don't want to tempt fate, but this is going too—
"DON'T SAY IT!" The party yelled as they came into Chimney rock. They looked around and camped next to another wagon-party full of people singing.
"Why are they singing Auld Lang Sing in April?" Cosmo asked.
"That's what I'm wondering…" Timmy said. "Hey, wait a second, you know what Auld Lang Sing is?"
April 27, Fort Laramie
"Hey, isn't that T_O's character, Erika?" Wanda asked as they pulled their wagon into the field outside the fort.
"Yep." Timmy confirmed, "She must be staying here in Wyoming."
"Actuall, I'm staying on the other side of Wyoming." Erika said, "I'm here delivering a package of winter stocks."
"By the way, you guys need to be careful not to get caught in the snow." She advised them, "You got enough cloths?
"We happen to have four sets each." Timmy said proudly.
Erika cocked an eyebrow and left without saying anything else.
May 1, on the Trail
"So, I noticed our health has taken a drop. I decided we'd better slow down." Timmy announced, much to Molly, Wanda, and Poof's relief.
"But Timmy, what about the…" Cosmo began to object.
"It's May, I'm sure we can make it to at least Fort Hall in five months." Timmy assured him.
May 5, on the Trail
"Well, I see that everyone's gotten back to full health." Timmy said as the wagon trundled through some large sandstone formations.
"Poof, get down from there!" Wanda called to her young son. "You might…"
"Aaaaah!" Poof fell and landed on his shoulder.
"Oh NO!" Cosmo and Wanda cried.
"Wait a sec…" Molly thought out loud, "He floats! How'd he fall and break his arm?"
Chuggaaconroy says Nintendo Logic. Or Apple Logic in this case.
"There's a river just a little further down the trail" Timmy tried to calm his godparents down. "Maybe we should wait to rest there. That way we'll have plenty of water."
"Plenty of water?" Molly asked sarcastically. "It's raining. We should rest now."
May 9, on the Trail. Poof has a fever
"I knew we should have left him at home!" Wanda lamented.
"I knew we should have rested first." Molly said darkly.
"Ok, Ok!" Timmy cried, "We'll rest for five days, how about that?"
"But Timmy, what about Winter?" Cosmo asked worriedly. He was shut up by a death-glare from Wanda.
May 14, on the Trail
"Let's see how supplies are…" Timmy checked the wagon's inventory. "355 pound of food? We need to go huntin'!"
Molly and Timmy ventured about a mile off the trail in search of game. They were lucky enough to find a buffalo
Shot 949 pounds of meat, but was only able to carry 100 pounds back.
"Wimp." Molly stated as they tramped back into camp.
"Oh, I don't see you carrying anything!" Timmy shot back.
In Oregon Trail II, you can carry back 200 pounds of meat. Another reason I prefer the sequel.
May 17, Independence Rock
"Let's graffiti the big rock guys!" Cosmo shouted. Timmy and a newly recuperated Poof cheered and ran off with him to find a blank portion of rock.
Let us take a moment of silence for the men and women who died not far from here at Martin's Cove.
"… Those people won't come through here for another ten years." Molly reminded T_O.
I SAID SILENCE!
May 22, on the Trail
"Bad water… no big…" Timmy murmured to himself as he checked the inventory. "335 pounds of food? We must hunt!"
This time Timmy and Molly brought Cosmo along with them, only after much begging on Wanda's part. She was tired of trying to keep him out of trouble, apparently.
"Yeah, so give him a gun and bring him out to the middle of the wilderness." Molly deadpanned.
"Maybe she's hoping he'll get shot, or mauled by a bear. That'd slow him down." Timmy reasoned.
They shot one buffalo before Cosmo scared off all the game trying to shoot a rabbit.
Shot 860 pound of meat, but was only able to carry 100 pounds back.
"I'm going back for that wabbit!" Cosmo declared after they brought the meat back.
"Uh, Cosmo, are you ok?" Timmy asked. Needless to say, Cosmo scared the remaining game off.
May 25, on the Trail. Timmy found some wild fruit.
"Aren't these strawberries a little green?" Wanda asked.
May 26, on the Trail
"Guys, our health is down again, and we have less than 400 pounds of food. There's only one thing to do. Hunt!"
One day and no game later
"Cosmo, you are never coming hunting with us again." Molly informed the green fairy.
May 29, South Pass
You guys are going to Fort Bridger.
"Are you sure?" Timmy asked T_O, "Cuz' it looks kinda out of the way.
YOU ARE GOING TO FORT BRIDGER, OK?
"… um, yes?"
Meanwhile, Molly and Wanda were trying to solve the food problem.
"Maybe we'll have better luck if we try trading for food." Wanda suggested.
"Hey, I'll give you a set of clothes for 109 bullets." Squidward offered.
"Actually, we need food." Wanda explained. "Hey, where are you going?"
"This isn't working." Molly surmised.
May 31, out from South Pass. Timmy found some fruit.
"Oh boy, more green strawberries." Molly deadpanned.
June 2, on the Trail
"We're almost down to 200 pounds of food." Timmy told Molly, "We need to hunt."
"And Cosmo is not coming with us this time." Molly added.
They shot a bear and a squirrel
Shot 172 pounds of meat, but was only able to carry 100 pounds back.
"So, this bear was running right at me…" Timmy told his godparents after they'd come back from hunting.
"It was 100 feet away." Molly corrected, "The squirrel was running right at you."
June 6, on the Trail. Poof has a fever.
"Again?" Molly asked incredulously.
"We're almost to the Fort, he'll make it." Timmy insisted.
June 11, on the Trail. Wanda has Dysentery
"Ew…" Cosmo held his nose.
"Must have been those green strawberries." Molly reasoned.
"It's only twenty-three more miles to the fort, we'll make it."
"Yeah, that's what you said about Poof." Wanda groaned.
"Hey, he's getting better!"
June 14, Fort Bridger
"So, what's so important about Fort Bridger?" Timmy asked T_O.
Oh, you'll see.
"Is that Dave, T_O's other character?" Cosmo asked.
"Oh, that's right, Dave and Erika are staying here!" Timmy remembered.
Yep, I put them here in blatant character insertion. I like Fort Bridger, because I've actually been there several times.
Later, Timmy was checking the inventory.
"We have less than 300 pounds of food! I've gotta buy lots of food while we're here!"
Timmy bought 300 pounds of food for $25.
"Oh, what the heck, let's buy 100 pounds more."
Timmy now has $740.
Later that day, Dave invited everyone to come take a rest at his family's place.
"Great, we need a rest, our health is only fair." Timmy agreed.
"Are you sure, Winter is coming, ya know." Erika warned him.
"Give him a break, Erika, it's June." Dave rolled his eyes.
Rested three days. Health is still fair.
"Maybe three more days." Timmy suggested.
Rested three more days. Still fair.
"Oh well, we've gotta keep going." Timmy and his wagon party bid farewell to T_O's characters.
"I hate being an insert." Dave muttered.
"Oh, get over yourself." Erika rolled her eyes.
June 22, on the Trail. Wanda has a broken arm
"Again, you guys float, how did you manage to fall and break your arm?" Molly asked.
"Keeping Cosmo out of trouble can be dangerous." Wanda explained.
June 23, on the Trail
"We can't rest here, the water's bad!" Timmy tried to explain to Cosmo why they weren't stopping.
"My wife has a broken arm! She needs rest!"
"We'll just go a little further. Calm down."
June 27, on the Trail. Rested 3 days
"It took a while to find a place with water!" Timmy explained to an upset Cosmo.
June 30, on the Trail. Wanda has a fever. Rested three days
"See what you did?" Cosmo yelled angrily at Timmy.
"Oh Cosmo, calm down, it's not that bad!" Wanda yelled at him from the wagon.
"We'll rest a bit, stop at Soda Springs, and rest some more." Timmy assured them.
July 4, on the Trail
"Yeah, it's Independence Day! Let's PARTY!" Cosmo cheered.
July 5, lost the Trail for five days
"That was some party." Timmy stated as they wandered through the unbroken sagebrush.
July 12, on the Trail. Wanda still has a fever.
"Your slave-driving pace and small rations have done this!" Cosmo accused Timmy.
"Cosmo, we're going as slow as we can and eating as much as we can. There's nothing else we can do!" Molly told him.
"Nothing, except hunt." Timmy said.
"… you are so weird." Molly deadpanned.
"I'm coming too!" Cosmo insisted.
"Cosmo, I don't think…" The green fairy fixed Timmy with a death-glare, "Ok!"
Unable to shoot any meat.
"Ok, Cosmo, why don't you stay here with Wanda and take care of her this time." Timmy suggested.
"Uh, you guys don't have to do that for me…" Wanda protested weakly.
"Do you want food or not?" Timmy asked
Shot 130 pounds of food, but was only able to carry 100 pounds back.
"That bear. Walked. Right. Up to. Us!" Timmy said, shaken.
"Yeah, scary, right?" Molly asked, not looking scared at all.
July 17, Soda Springs. Rested six days.
"Guys, our health is poor. We've got to rest." Timmy informed the party.
July 23, Soda Springs
"Well, health is still only fair, but that's better than poor, and we need to hunt." Timmy said.
Shot 100 pounds of meat.
"That bear weighed all of 100 pounds." Timmy said in amazement.
"Yeah, how disappointing." Molly remarked.
July 27, on the Trail. One of the oxen is injured.
"Sheen! NO! How could this happen?" Cosmo lamented.
"Stupid prairie dogs." Molly muttered.
July 30, Fort Hall. Rested three days.
"So, we need lots of food, a new ox, and that's it." Molly reminded Timmy as he walked into the fort.
Timmy came out later with 1000 pounds of food and $340.
"You spent $400 on food?" Molly asked him incredulously.
"We're both lousy hunters, I figured this would be easier." Timmy reasoned.
"We are no longer getting a new ox."
August 5, on the Trail. Molly has dysentery. Rested three days.
"You make on joke and you're dead." Molly threatened.
"Poor, poor Molly." Wanda said.
"I suppose we should rest." Timmy said.
August 11, on the Trail. Timmy found some wild fruit.
"Uh, Molly, are you sure you want to eat those?" Timmy asked her worriedly.
"I'm sick of eating bear meat." She replied moodily.
"Ok, fine, get dysentery again."
August 21, Snake River Crossing
"Great, we're all back to good health just in time for a river crossing." Molly said sarcastically.
"Well, the guide says we should ask an Indian guide to help us cross the river." Wanda informed the party.
"Ok." Timmy went to find an Indian guide, "Sanjay?"
"You must give me three sets of clothing in order to gain my assistance!"
"… Ok…"
Wow, they make it again. We are just having too much lu—
"Shut up!" "Don't jinx it!" Everyone yelled at T_O.
August 21, on the Trail.
"Hey look! Someone left their wagon sitting on the side of the trail! And they also left twenty bullets and some neat bones!" Cosmo showed the party.
"Uh, let's just take the bullets and go, sweetie…" Wanda pulled her husband away, "Poof, put that down!"
September 1, Fort Boise.
"DON'T SPEND ALL OUR MONEY ON FOOD AGAIN!" Molly warned Timmy as he went into the fort. He came out with 100 pounds of food and $295
"It was only $45!" Timmy insisted.
Suddenly… Blip! Welcome to Oregon Trail!
What? NO! I was so close to Oregon, and with zero deaths! NOT FAIR!
Well, let's just say that Timmy's wagon party decided to just stay at Fort Boise instead of moving on to Oregon, and helped found the capital city of Idaho. And they lived happily ever after.
Dang iiiiiiit!
I was not happy when the game just stopped. I tried everything to get it back. I miss my Oregon Trail II.