A/N: So this was my hardest challenge yet as a writer, mostly because it had so many layers of feelings in it. I had already planned all the scenes out months ago, but I hadn't anticipated how hard it would be to bring Yi Jeong back from rock bottom. It was also going to be longer, but I decided to split it so I could end the long wait. I hope it doesn't disappoint!

(This chapter starts immediately after Ga Eul throws water at Yi Jeong at the end of their disaster date.)

Episode 19: Is this fake or is it real?

Should I offer her to you? What do you think Ga Eul, my dad's pretty good isn't he?

Ga Eul had been walking for nearly an hour, and her skin still crawled from what had just happened. She couldn't believe what Yi Jeong had done to her and what he had said to her. She'd never felt so filthy or humiliated in her entire life. There were a dozen names she wanted to call him, and it still wouldn't be enough to describe her fury.

Yet, the person she was most angry with was herself. She was everything that he'd called her when he'd rejected her at his studio, all the things he didn't want in a girl—he had been right about her.

One. She was a good girl, innocent and naive to a fault.

When he'd come to the porridge shop to pick her up, she should have known from the gleam in his eye that something was wrong. Instead, she had been so excited that he had accepted her confession and wanted to take her on a date—a real date, and not a fake one where she had to hide her feelings—that she had ignored her instincts.

Ga Eul had thought it strange when they entered the nightclub while she was still underage, but if this was what he liked, then she would go along with it and try to enjoy herself. Unfortunately, from there, the night began to quickly fall apart. Unlike their first fake date, everyone who saw her knew she wasn't supposed to be there.

In her mind, she had continued to make excuse after excuse—the beers were because he was thirsty; the women he was waving at were just acquaintances; the two he draped his arms around were just close friends. Surely he didn't expect her to share a date with two other women, did he? Then he'd whispered in their ears and they had laughed at her. Mortified, she'd fled to the bathroom. There, in the mirror, she finally saw what Yi Jeong saw—someone too plain and inexperienced for him. She was too much of a good girl to give him what he liked, but worse than that…

Two. She was an idiot.

When Yi Jeong had stopped her from leaving and invited her to experience the "highlight" of the date, she should have said no. He seemed unhinged and that didn't bode well. But then he'd grabbed her hand, and his loose grip reminded her of his injury. She could have easily escaped, but she'd felt that he needed her, though she knew whatever was about to happen wouldn't be good.

To Ga Eul's shock, Yi Jeong had brought her to the restaurant where his father was dining. His father had seemed pleased to see the both of them, yet she'd known this wasn't a normal family get together. Yi Jeong had become even more tense than before, barely making eye contact with either of them. Finally, his barely suppressed rage had broken when he announced that his mother had overdosed on drugs and was in the hospital, possibly dying, while his father was peacefully eating his foie gras. It was no wonder that Yi Jeong had been so upset.

At that moment, Ga Eul would have been willing to understand all of his behavior, except, he'd then outrageously offered her to his father. Yi Jeong had used her to taunt him, and she'd been stupid enough to follow him and let it happen.

Ga Eul sat down on a park bench, physically worn out from walking for so long. In her indignation, she had thrown a glass of water in Yi Jeong's face, but it wasn't nearly enough. She was so hurt and angry, and her chest felt clogged with emotion, yet uncharacteristically, the tears wouldn't come out.

She had met plenty of bad guys, but none of them had ever been this cruel to her. Yi Jeong didn't merely reject her—he had gone so far as to humiliate her and use her. She would never have forgiven anyone else but…

Three. She was his friend.

She smoothed her hands over her red purse with the brass buckle, the one that Yi Jeong had bought for her on their previous "date". She remembered how her eyes had lingered on the purse and its matching shoes at the store, and Yi Jeong had immediately asked the store clerk to wrap them up, no matter how much Ga Eul had protested. In fact, he had been thoughtful to her all day, doing everything she liked without complaint and sometimes even with pleasure. His smile, she knew for certain, had reached his eyes.

No matter how much he pretended, Ga Eul knew the real So Yi Jeong, the one who had been there for her countless times protecting her, comforting her, or making her smile. Perhaps he didn't think of her as a friend, but in her heart she would always be one to him.

In the state that she'd left him in, there was no telling what he would do or how much worse things could get. Right now, he was somewhere angry and scared, and, if she were correct, feeling guilty.

Ga Eul would never abandon a friend in need, and Yi Jeong needed a friend. She would be that friend to him tonight.

#####

Jun Pyo… People like us can't have anything to do with things like innocence or love. No matter how you go about it, people like you and me, we do nothing but hurt the women we love.

Yi Jeong sat alone in the dim light of a quiet high-end bar, sipping on a glass of whiskey, the half-full bottle nearby. His clothes and hair were still slightly damp from when Ga Eul had doused him with a glass of water, but it didn't bother him. On the contrary, he was almost glad for it because it alleviated some of his guilt in a way.

How had he come so low?

Usually when his mood would take a nosedive, he would think of Eun Jae, who had always found him when he was down and been able to soothe him. He would desperately miss her comfort, and the way she would let him lay his head in her lap so that he could find rest when the world seemed to be crumbling around him.

But for the past several days, ever since she'd confessed to him, all he could think about was a certain sentimental bumpkin, one Chu Ga Eul. He kept seeing her eyes and the earnestness in them that showed she had true feelings for him beyond mere infatuation. Those eyes held a sincere entreaty that frightened him.

She wanted him to be her soulmate.

When they had first met, she'd declared she would hold on to her soulmate and never let go. Yi Jeong had thought her silly at first, but since then, he'd learned enough about her honest and devoted nature to know that was who she truly was. Now, without a thought to herself, Ga Eul had served her whole heart on a platter to him of all people, a self-declared rake and a Casanova.

Part of him was also a little angry. Did she even realize what it would mean to date the heir of the So family? Did she know what she was asking of him?

Though Yi Jeong had coldly refused her and that should have been the end of it, thoughts of Ga Eul just wouldn't go away. Images of her hopeful face kept coming to his mind, and torturously, they would get overlaid with those of his mother. He was reminded of his mother begging and screaming for his father, her supposed true love, and his father cruelly leaving her for his latest mistress.

He kept wondering if sweet, innocent Ga Eul only knew the truth about who he really was, that loving him would only bring pain, would she still feel the same way? Eun Jae had realized the truth and ran away.

As if the universe had been listening to his thoughts that evening, Yi Jeong's mother had overdosed yet again landing her in the hospital. She had called for him, but he didn't need to hear her to know what it was for. And so it turned out that Ga Eul would be able to witness everything first hand—his philandering ways and his toxic family.

Yi Jeong had planned to end things once he'd exposed his father's depraved behavior, but when So Hyun Sub had smiled at Ga Eul, something had snapped in Yi Jeong. It was the first time that he had brought a girl to meet either of his parents, and the damn lecher had dared to leer at her, like they were playing their sick game of competing over women. The thought of the degenerate defiling someone so innocent as Ga Eul, while his mother lay suicidal in the hospital, made him blind with rage. Yi Jeong had only meant to antagonize his father, but the words had flown out of his mouth before he could think, and Ga Eul had rightfully splashed water onto his face and left. What his father had said then cut him to the core.

Son, you were the cruel one tonight.

Yi Jeong had always been afraid to be like his father, but it turned out he was even worse than him.

He guzzled the rest of the liquor in his glass, heedless of the burning sensation down his throat. He had done the right thing in pushing Ga Eul away, but why did he feel no satisfaction? Why did he feel even emptier than before?

He raked his free hand through his hair, disheveling his carefully styled coif. Uncorking the whiskey bottle, he filled his glass again and again, draining each as if the answer lay at the bottom of the bottle. On his fourth glass, his hand slipped and he missed the cup entirely, pouring the alcohol all over himself. Yi Jeong abruptly stood up and his glass fell to the floor with a loud crash. Everything spun around him as he staggered, and he grabbed onto his chair to hold himself up. In the fog of his drunkenness, he could hear the other customers in the bar murmuring, probably gawking at and even enjoying the spectacle he made.

Luckily someone, likely his driver, caught him before he fell over. Yi Jeong must have mumbled directions to him, because he eventually found himself in front of his pottery studio. At the door he fumbled with his keys with his one good hand, but he was too dizzy to match the key to the keyhole. Frustrated, he threw his keys to the ground and sat down, leaning his head against the cold brick wall. Even his place of refuge wasn't cooperating with him tonight, as if it knew he would no longer be its owner, and it was punishing him for the offenses he had just committed.

Yi Jeong deserved as much. He had only meant to expose the worst sides of himself to turn Ga Eul off, but in doing so he had unforgivably hurt her, the very thing he hadn't wanted. It was inevitable, just like he had told Jun Pyo.

She would never give him that warm, glowing smile again. Her eyes would no longer sparkle at him. Just like Eun Jae, he would never see her again.

Yi Jeong heard the clack of shoes on the wooden walkway, and a familiar pair of red heels with brass buckles came into view. There was the scrape of keys and the squeak of the door opening. A hand tugged on his arm to pull him to standing, then draped that arm over a slim but sturdy set of shoulders. The waft of a sweet, honey vanilla scent filled his nose, and something that should have been impossible registered in his brain. Ga Eul had found him. She had come back.

Together they stumbled into the building, Ga Eul guiding him until he collapsed onto his studio bench. To his surprise, she didn't reprimand him—in fact she didn't say anything at all. Yi Jeong could see her hazy form in red turn away, and he grabbed her wrist before she could leave. He needed to tell her.

"I was scared that I would make her cry. Like my father. Like my mother. I was afraid she would cry because of me, so I ran away."

Yi Jeong's hand dropped and everything faded to black.

#####

Staring down at Yi Jeong's unconscious form, Ga Eul felt her heart ache. His parents had shattered the idea of love for him, such that he believed himself a bad guy incapable of it. Was this why he had done what he'd done and said what he'd said to her tonight? To chase her away so that he wouldn't hurt her?

Ga Eul couldn't decide whether to kick him or to comfort him. She still felt angry and hurt, but at the same time, she couldn't help but be touched by his desire to protect her, however idiotic his attempt was. She felt compassion for his misery and for his fear of love, but with it came a small sting of jealousy. Had he been speaking of his first love?

Shoving that thought to the back of her mind, Ga Eul turned away to resume what she had been about to do before Yi Jeong had grabbed her wrist. After searching for a bit, she successfully found some clean washcloths and a mug to fill with water. She returned just in time to see Yi Jeong start to heave. She quickly grabbed a large mouthed vase, likely priceless, and angled his head into it as he retched. Ga Eul sighed, as she wiped his face gently with a damp cloth. Judging from how inebriated he was, it was going to be a long night.

Once he had finished emptying the contents of his stomach, she searched for a way to make him more comfortable. She found a bed in the corner of the largest of three storage rooms, but it was surprisingly modest and meant for only one person. Ga Eul blushed at what she had assumed she would find in the F4 Casanova's studio.

Fortunately, she was able to shake Yi Jeong awake enough so he could be assisted to the bed. There, she removed his jacket, waistcoat, and tie, but only unbuttoned the top few buttons of his shirt, too embarrassed to go further though he still reeked of alcohol.

Once she had tucked him in, Ga Eul pulled up a stool next to the bed and watched him, thinking about all that she had learned about him tonight. It had been an overwhelming evening of revelations, and it had been a shock to see the normally cool and unaffected Yi Jeong so out of control. Tonight, he was in pain, angry and afraid.

Ga Eul understood what it meant to be afraid.

- Flashback -

Young Ga Eul put on a brave face as she watched her mother pack her bag to leave for the hospital. Her mother had smiled at Ga Eul as she explained that it would just be for a few weeks; that the doctors would certainly cure her and she would be back healthier than ever. Her father had said the same, but he couldn't seem to smile no matter how hard he tried. His haggard face with its dark circles under his eyes showed that he hadn't slept in days.

Ga Eul hadn't been able to sleep properly in days either. The more her parents had reassured her, the more Ga Eul's worry and doubt grew. Her mother had been getting thinner and weaker over the past several months, with the trips to the hospital becoming more frequent. As young as she was at six years old, she understood their message–they didn't want her to be upset, and so she pretended to believe them. Without knowing the truth, her mind could only imagine the worst.

"Ga Eul-ah, can you be a big girl and help appa out while I'm gone? You'll have to make sure he doesn't burn the house down." Her mother laughed gently.

Ga Eul smiled brightly at her mother and hugged her. Her mother hugged her back, almost too tightly.

"Umma, don't worry. I can take care of appa. I can make the rice and do the dishes by myself!"

Her mother kneeled so that they were face to face. "Our wonderful daughter. What would we do without you?" She placed a firm kiss on Ga Eul's forehead, and her voice shook slightly as she said, "Umma will be back soon."

Ga Eul held her tears back as best as she could when they said their farewells at the hospital. Though she failed for the most part, she promised her mother that she would be brave for her. Once they returned home, she secretly sobbed into her pillow wondering if she would ever see her mother again.

- End flashback -

Thankfully her mother had recovered fully, but Ga Eul had always held in her heart that she had to be strong for her parents so as not to burden them. Even when she was older, they had hidden details about Hoonie's health, as though they couldn't trust her, whispering and crying when they thought she was out of earshot. This had always left her feeling alone in her fears. Unfortunately, they had only been forthcoming about the severity of her brother's condition when it was almost too late.

Of course, Jandi had been there for her as much as she could, though she had troubles of her own. However, Ga Eul hadn't really confided in her since they had met the F4. Strangely, as of late, Yi Jeong had been the one beside Ga Eul during her hardest times.

Ga Eul's musings were interrupted by the ringing of a phone. Not wanting to wake him, she gingerly pulled Yi Jeong's cell phone out of his pants pocket. She was about to silence it, when she saw the display said "Mother's secretary".

After a moment's deliberation, Ga Eul answered tentatively, "Hello?"

"I'm calling for Young Master Yi Jeong. Can you give the phone to him?" a man replied without a hint of surprise at her female voice.

"He's sleeping right now."

"Very well. I'll call him in the morning."

"Wait," Ga Eul interjected before the man could end the call. She was being intrusive, but she knew how worried Yi Jeong was. "Is his mother okay?"

"Neh? The young master… Young Master Yi Jeong told you about that?" the secretary said, his voice full of confusion.

"Yes. He said his mother was very sick and in the hospital."

There was a long silence, and Ga Eul wondered if the secretary had hung up and if she had made a mistake by prying.

However, the man eventually answered, "You can tell the young master that his mother is sleeping comfortably and they expect her to recover within a few days."

"I'll let him know. Thank you." Ga Eul replied with relief.

It was getting late, and she knew she'd have to pay precious money for a taxi if she stayed any longer, but Ga Eul couldn't bear to leave Yi Jeong just yet. Why had she been the one he had sought out and revealed himself to tonight? Instead of making her dislike him as he had intended, seeing his weaknesses only drew her to him more. She had always thought him mature and sophisticated, far out of her reach, but absent his jaded smirk, he resembled a vulnerable child needing tenderness.

Just as she decided to leave him a note and go home, Yi Jeong started whimpering. He was mumbling something in his sleep. Ga Eul leaned in closer to listen to what he was saying.

"Umma… Umma!" Yi Jeong curled into his body and held his hands over his ears, blocking out whatever imaginary noises were haunting him. "Umma, please don't die!"

He was having a nightmare, though his dream wasn't far from reality, Ga Eul thought with sadness.

"Umma…" His voice shook as tears slid across his face.

Ga Eul instinctively reached out her hand to wipe the drops streaking his cheeks and nose. She wondered with a pang at what kind of anguish such a sweet, kind boy could have endured to become so cynical and distrustful of love.

All of a sudden, Yi Jeong grabbed her wrist and hauled her towards him, forcing her to sit on the bed. He wrapped his other arm around her waist and buried his head into her lap.

Surprised at this unexpected intimacy, Ga Eul froze.

"You came," Yi Jeong sighed. "You found me."

Ga Eul tried to pull away, but he held onto her even tighter. Yi Jeong placed the hand he was holding onto his head. He had never done something like this before, but then again, this had been a night of many "firsts". In his semi-conscious state, was he mistaking her for someone else?

"Don't go. Just stay with me for a bit so I can sleep."

Not knowing what else to do, Ga Eul lightly stroked Yi Jeong's hair. She told herself it was just like soothing a child, though her fluttering heart knew differently. The comforting touch put him at ease, and his breathing gradually evened out. Yi Jeong's head grew heavy in her lap, the arm around her waist loosening. He was finally asleep.

Ga Eul felt something wet drip onto her hand. She touched her face and found tears. Her heart broke for the boy who was so hurt and in need of comfort.

Her heart broke a little for herself too.

#####

Yi Jeong's head felt like it had been cracked open. He'd had many hangovers in his life, but this one had to be the most impressive. He squinted at the bright sunlight pouring through the window, which seemed to pierce his head making it pound even harder. He threw his blanket over himself and pressed his face into his pillow.

He took a few deep breaths, when a faint scent entered his nose. It was a sweet honey vanilla fragrance that only one person he knew wore.

Ga Eul yang.

Yi Jeong bolted up to sit, causing a wave of dizziness to hit him. He grabbed his head to stop the room from spinning. He must have been imagining things in his confused state, but then a vague memory of her helping him inside his studio surfaced. He took a good sniff of his sheets again—there was no denying she had been there. In his bed. God, what had he done?

In a panic, Yi Jeong threw off the covers and examined his clothing. His jacket, vest and tie were gone, but thankfully his pants were still on. He was an unrepentant playboy, but he had always prided himself on his sense of right and wrong. The thought that he could have… and to Ga Eul yang of all people. Cursing himself, Yi Jeong slammed a fist into the bed. He swore this was the last time he would ever drink that much again.

His eyes searched the room, and he noticed a blanket folded up neatly on the armchair in the opposite corner. On his side table were a mug of water, a box of painkillers, and a takeout container of porridge. The porridge was still warm, which meant that she had only recently left. He realized Ga Eul had stayed with him all night.

Next to the porridge was a note in neat handwriting. It said:

Yi Jeong sunbae, your mother's secretary called while you were sleeping. He said she is okay. As for last night, I'll pretend as if nothing happened. –Ga Eul

Did it mean she had forgiven him? What he had done to her was so unforgivable that he'd been sure he would never see her again. Yet, she'd not only come back, but had even taken care of him all night. His memories after he'd gotten drunk were coming back in scraps and pieces: Ga Eul patting his back as he vomited; a cloth wiping his face; her small shoulders supporting him as she guided him to his bed; a gentle hand in his hair soothing him to sleep.

Yi Jeong put his fingers to the side of his head where she had patted him. He didn't know what he'd done to deserve it, but outside of the F4, the only one he trusted to give him such mercy and kindness was Chu Ga Eul.

She might be able to forget, but how could he ever pretend that last night hadn't happened?

He picked up the mug to drink some water when another piece of paper fell to the floor. It read:

If you ever do anything like that again, I'll pour more than water on you.

With that, for the first time since before he'd lost his way forward in life, Yi Jeong smiled. It was just like Ga Eul yang.

#####

Up next: Can Yi Jeong and Ga Eul really pretend as if nothing had happened?

A/N: Whew, so glad that's over with! Hopefully this gets easier from here on out. I hope this gives a good explanation of how we go from the disaster date to them smiling at each other at Jandi's just a few days later. (The transition in the show was so abrupt!) I see Ga Eul as a character with a lot of backbone, but with a heart of gold—she is no fool about Yi Jeong's faults but she knows him well enough to forgive him. I really believe he went to her of all people, because he subconsciously trusted her to understand him. He knew she would be the only one able to prove him wrong in his belief that he isn't worth loving!