Animal Magnetism

Disclaimer: I, sadly, own nothing of the Harry Potter 'Verse. I just like to play with them time to time. Especially Severus.

Chapter 14

The dark-haired spy found her bleeding and barely conscious on the floor of the great hall. She didn't even have the energy to make it to the medical ward without anyone seeing her. But surprisingly, except for a few choice expletives, he didn't tear into her. Thank goodness for small mercies, she thought tiredly. She'd taken out a lot of men after she'd finally tracked them down, even nearly getting her hands on Lucius Malfoy, but as she'd turned to leave one had surprised her and fired some nasty spells. "You could've been killed," he said detachedly. "I know." "Foolish hot-headed Gryffindors." She summoned up a weak smile. She didn't want to reply that it was worth it because he was holding her. The beast inside her was purring at his touch.

Surprisingly instead of the medical ward he took her back to her room that was just a few feet from it. She didn't ask him how he knew the password, she figured the Headmaster had given it to him. "One of the hexes that hit you is slowly shutting down major organs like your heart and lungs, it's working like a poison. It's a very complicated hex, it's going to take a while to heal," he murmured, taking vials from a pouch inside his robes. She knew it was habit to carry them after two decades of service to Voldemort. "Figures." She was getting light- headed and it was getting hard to breath. He lifted her head, raising the bottles to her lips and helping her to swallow. Hermione was surprised again at his gentle treatment and lack of 'I told you so's'. Peering at him from under her fringed bangs, she tried to discern his motives or his thoughts/feelings but came up with nothing.

He murmured his spells, his oddly graceful hands poised over her body, and she closed her eyes, letting the soothing warmth seep over her. "It was incredibly stupid to just rush off like that without planning or back-up." Her brow furrowed even as the painful pinching on her lungs eased. "Then why help me? Why not let them find me?" She heard him sigh, "What good would it do our cause to have you locked away in a misguided attempt to save you?" She cracked an eye, coughing at the sudden rush of air to her lungs, "Is that your way of telling me you need me?" "Hardly." She had a feeling that he was lying but couldn't tell for certain. He was too practiced at deception. The various cuts on her body started to knit up and fade with a few more soft-spoken words. "Then-"

"I still find you completely insufferable, I just have too much invested in this cause to lose now because you Gryffindors don't know what you're doing." She tried to hide just how much that hurt her. "And you're still a snarky dungeon bat," Hermione retorted childishly. He didn't dignify that with a response, just continued working, which made her feel even pettier. Probably his plan all along, she thought with a pout. Then she felt a sharp pain in her head and a brilliant white light flashed right behind her eyelids, then an all too familiar intrusion. Before she could speak she was plunged into the memory of the attack and she couldn't shake it off as she was forced to relieve each curse, each cut, each kill. She was swamped by it and it stole her voice. Until it kept cycling backwards so she found herself in a memory of her intimately locked with Harry. He backed out with a sudden rush of air, clearly shocked and then as they just stared at each other.

Then they heard a knock at the door and the aforementioned friends' voice. "I heard your voice, are you alright Hermione? I have dinner." Apologetically, she reached out to him and Snape jolted up out of his chair, looking at her with disgust. "Severus-" she started groggily, feeling the need to explain even if he hated her and didn't care. "That formal use of my name is not only inappropriate but highly offensive, Miss Granger. I'd deduct fifty house points for your temerity, but as school is not in session I'll just have to remind you to use my proper title." Then he whirled out of the room. She fought the urge not to call after him.

Watching him leave after pretty much saving her life, Hermione was filled with a bevy of conflicting emotions… the foremost being an odd sense of shame and loneliness. She shouldn't be surprised, just because they'd shared maybe two moments of something other than derision or avoidance. This was his usual behavior, so she should feel relieved. She knew how to handle his usual behavior- it was the other stuff that shook her. So why didn't she feel relived? Rolling over, she told Harry she wasn't hungry and had to convince him to leave. He only made her ache worse right now. Cause or not, he could've gotten anyone else to take care of her. Pomphrey knew how to be discreet- to a point. What a mess.

This was what she was afraid of, she realized with a small pang of sadness. Giving in to her urges and investing any emotion whatsoever into it, then having him just walk away from her like she was nothing. Or blowing it before they even had a chance because of some flaw in her character or because he looked inside and found her wanting. Punching her pillow, she wondered again why he mattered so much to her, if it would've been different if she'd been normal. How she ached to touch him… Inside she was feeling all cagey again, like the creature there was angry at her, or hungry despite feeding on the Death Eaters. But Sev-Snape didn't want her touch. Didn't want closeness from her in any kind. What had changed, when he had seemed to tolerate her just fine just moments ago?

The small flames of hope she'd been nurturing deep in her heart sputtered out and only then did she recognize them for what they were. Had she seriously considered him a prospect, or a goal to reach after Harry failed to work for her? Maybe she was more screwed up after that Lake incident than she thought. She was uncontrollable, this thing inside her was uncontrollable. Somebody should just put her out of her misery and keep her from doing this crazy shit anymore. Like attacking innocent people in Hogwarts [not that Malfoy was entirely innocent], or risking everything to storm off and kill Death Eaters by herself, or going after Snape. She felt sick inside and tears trickled down her cheeks. No wonder most of the castles' occupants wanted nothing to do with her. No wonder Snape didn't want her.

'There's no other choice. You are one of us now. You can't undo it.' The insidious voice crept into the back of her mind like poison. It was different than before, hateful. But it was right. She wasn't herself anymore, wasn't even human, and she was a danger to everyone around her. She touched her sharpened teeth and blood welled on her fingertips. Weird how that made her hungry too. Licking her lips, she remembered the one kiss she'd shared with the object of her desire. She'd kill to press her lips to his once more and kiss him until the nightmare faded. Insanity. She drew a deep, shuddering breath. Instantly she recalled every detail of the night at the Lake with startling clarity, shaking at the memory of those sharp claws digging into her, tearing her flesh open as blackness seeped in.

She could've died then. She could've died in that hellish in-between place too. She never would've known what hit her. Never would've seen his face looking at her with concern or desire. Never would've felt the things she did for him, bad or good. Never would've touched him, or tasted him. 'If you care at all for any of them, you will end this before they get hurt. Before your hunger or your recklessness kills them.' She lurched from the cot, throat knotted with emotion. What was she waiting for? To attack someone else? For someone to get the nerve to kill her? She swallowed past the thickness in her throat. She cared too much for them to do that to them. Hermione clutched her pillow, nuzzling it to her cheek, seeking what comfort she could while she waited.

She vowed she wouldn't leave this task to any of them. Not her best friends/one time lovers. Not Minerva, who was like a second mom to her. Not Dumbledore, who cared too much for those under his charge. And not Snape, though she was sure he'd love to have the honor. She would not add to this. She pressed her lips into a firm line. The waxing moon outside was oddly insistent she do something, feeding into the power and the beast inside her that demanded more to sate its dark appetite. It was growing. No more lying to herself. The voice knew the truth- so did she. She struggled with the urge to go to her friends, to hug them and tell them 'good night' because she couldn't say 'goodbye.' She was sure they could take one look at her and know something was up.

Heavy footsteps echoed in the hall and she held her breath, heart aching imagining Snape standing there, imagining him looking in on her. Silently she begged him to enter, to give her one more memory, something to take into eternity with her. But at least he moved on, his footsteps receding down the hall again. And the breath escaped her lips in an almost disappointed sigh. She would wait until his watch ended. Until they thought her asleep from the "calming" draught he'd left next to the bed. They'd never hear her creep down the hall and up to the Astronomy tower. Never realize what had happened until it was all over.

Next Chapter:

"Damn you," she hissed, hot tears pricking her eyes. He grappled for her flailing hands. Giving up, he folded her into his arms and jerked her against him, chest to heaving chest. She struggled until they both fell back down. "Why are you doing this?" she cried, the floor cold and unforgiving beneath her. "If you can't do it, just let-" He silenced her with a hard kiss.