"Just try it. You'll feel better." Brittany is on her knees in front of him, in the cheerleader uniform that does nothing for him. He sits back and crosses his legs, putting one leg over the other the way he's practiced.
"I don't know," he says, his voice cracking. "Um, shouldn't that be my line?"
"No?" Brittany says, her voice low and something else that he can't describe, because if he was a girl (and he doesn't want to be, even though it would be easier), because if he were a girl he would be a very goody-two-shoes kind of girl, kind of like Rachel, but with less ego, okay maybe just about the same amount of ego, he still wouldn't be able to match that tone of voice.
He's not quite sure what he was thinking.
Oh, except that if Puck or Finn said something to him in that tone of voice he would have jumped them immediately.
He thinks that's kind of why it's working now. Thinking about Puck - or Finn - so separate, but so so delicious - he licks his lips, and his penis twinges a little bit.
"Um," he says, and leans back into the back of the chair. "Are you sure?"
Brittany licks her lips. Kurt watches that, and immediately licks her lips too.
"Won't you feel strange?" Kurt says. "I mean, I'm not like other guys. I'm, gay, you know?"
Brittany makes a gesture with her shoulders that's half a shrug. Kurt notes that it makes her breasts move. It's a very good move in terms of attracting guys. He knows what attracts guys. He just can't attract them. He has a penis.
"So'm I," Brittany says. "Sometimes anyway."
"Oh," Kurt says. "Well...I mean...I knew that."
He does. But sometimes, and he doesn't like admitting this even to himself, Kurt can be a smidgeon self-absorbed. He thinks that Brittany - and Santana - have a more normal life, and so he doesn't think of what their relationship actually means.
Maybe he does have the same ego as Rachel. The same self-indulgent self-absorption.
He shudders.
"It won't be that bad," Brittany promises. "Just try it."
"Um," Kurt says, furrowing his brow. On the one hand, he's not at all attracted to her. She doesn't have a penis.
His penis twinges.
On the other...crude as it is, a blowjob is a blowjob, right? If he pretends that it's Finn Hudson on his knees in front of him instead, looking at him with those gorgeous eyes and soft hair he can run his hands through -
Ooh, there went his penis.
"You do want to!" Brittany says, and brings her hands to cover his knees.
He covers her hands with his, noting that her hands are rougher than his are. But she has longer nails. That makes up for things.
"Well...are you sure?"
Brittany looks at him.
He looks back.
She nods, her hair moving in its ponytail, and she moves his legs apart. She undoes his belt buckle and his zipper with her teeth, and takes his flaccid penis out with her tongue alone, sucking it into her mouth.
Kurt groans. He thinks of Finn, and instantly his penis gets hard, the tip of it brushing the roof of her hot, hot mouth. She starts sucking on it, her tongue waving around the tip, and he ignores the fact that her lips are soft around the base of his penis, where Finn's or Puck's would be rough and chapped. He closes his eyes and spreads his legs wider so that she can get better access.
"You're so big," she whispers, and even Kurt can't help but get a slight boost in his ego. He would have, from anyone, he knows - but if it had been said in tones of slight penis jealousy he would've had a great deal more reaction.
Kurt smiles. "Thank you," he says, his voice rising in a kind of squeak as Brittany chooses that moment to begin sucking, bobbing her head up and down his cock.
(He's not attracted to girls, at all, but this is feeling, and if he pretends that Puck is between his legs, his body all muscle and his hands coming up to caress his thighs then he's definitely attracted to the sensations)
(But he's also not experienced.)
Brittany sneaks a gaze up at Kurt. Kurt matches her eyes for the three more movements she makes down his shaft before his eyes have to close in his orgasm.
He keens. Not grunts, like Puck did, or Finn's silence, but keens as though he were Santana just on the edge. Without the edge of gasping and panting, but clear and pure.
Clean.
Kurt looks Brittany in the eye as she swallows.
Then she withdraws, and does his pants up again. With his penis tucked safely away, he can only watch her with his chest heaving, his throat trying to work.
"Thanks," she whispers. "I've missed that. And you tasted really good."
She smiles, then licks the corner of her lip. "Missed some."
Kurt gasps a little. "I try to stay on a strict diet."
"You know oranges are just gay lemons, right?" Brittany says. "My grandma gave us a whole basket once. They were really sweet."
Kurt furrows his eyebrows.
"I tasted myself after that. I tasted really good. Do you eat lemons?"
"Um, no," Kurt says, biting his lip. "I do really like mandarins, though."
She smiles. "Those, too! So little, and then you can eat them in one go, and they're still healthy!"
Kurt smiles. He can't help it. He smiles a lot anyway, but the way she's acting is contagious.
"Kiss me?"
Then Brittany dives on him.
And then his father walks in.
"Excuse me, dad, but we're having intimate sexual relations."