DO NOT OWN. Thank you for all the wonderful reviews they keep me writing! Shit's going down in this chapter. Dramamamamama. R&R, please!

CHAPTER 10: Connor LOCATION: Bridget's Apartment

The memory was like a flashbulb going off in the dark. I stood on the other side of the elevator from her just looking at her. In some ways she was still that little girl. She never looked scared and she still had that attitude. My way, highway. She was looking at me too. She remembered earlier this morning. Meegan was in Ireland just like I was. Fuck.

She hit the emergency stop button on the elevator. "You remember." She said. I nodded.

"Hold me?" Her face was in pieces.

"Come here." I held her tightly; one hand on her back and one hand on the back of her head. She buried her face in my t-shirt like she did then. I thought I could smell fire again. I closed my eyes slowly hoping when they were closed I didn't see flames. All I saw was her surrounded by evil men. Everyone I had ever killed standing around her. I couldn't stand it. I heard her gasp.

"Connor," she breathed. I was squeezing her too hard. I let her go like a rubber band snapping.

"Sorry." She stood on the other side of the car from me, looking at the floor.

"It's okay," she said, pushing the button to get the elevator moving again. She finally looked up again with a slice of black hair over her eye. It was how she was then; shaken but not scared, shivering but not screaming.

We got off the elevator and walked the length of the hall stopping at Bridget's apartment. Before Meegan could knock I tried to tell her, "Meegan, I…"

BRIDGET

I couldn't explain how it happened by somewhere between pillow talk, eggs and morning news he figured out I was keeping something from him. And I told him, thinking that I could come back from it, but that assumptions seemed so stupid after. And the way he looked at me. I couldn't get that out of my head. I never would.

"I didn't break up with Liam last night. I know how you must feel, but just because it's not official doesn't mean-" His face was… broken…

"No. Stop speaking." He said cut me off. Then silence for a long while.

"That's fine. I don't know what to say."

"That's because there's nothing you can fucking say. I trusted…" His voice faded, he looked confused, like he might cry. It was the worst thing I had ever done. It was the first time since high school I had wanted to cut myself. The temptation was so strong. That face… I'd ruined his life; just because my life was falling apart didn't mean I had to ruin anyone else's. I realized, in that second, I had done exactly that. I felt words bubbling up in my mouth, but when I looked over at him I couldn't say them. He was staring down at the blanket he was wearing because I was washing and drying his clothes. He had trusted me so much. I had fucked this up royally.

"I am so sorry. This isn't like me at all."

"Good to know you only act like an ass around me." He was angry now. That was actually a good sign. I could deal with angry. Then he said something that surprised me. "Don't fucking tell anyone about this."

"Sure. Sure." I agreed quickly. He and I sat there quietly watching re-runs waiting for Connor and Meegan to get there. Where the fuck were they?

After a few minutes I couldn't stop myself, so I got up and went to the bathroom. I couldn't believe I made it there before breaking down. I sat with my back to the door and started crying. Crying with the wires in my face wasn't easy at all. It hurt like hell when I had first gotten them; when my life started falling apart.

I wish I could have just told Murphy what Liam said on the phone, but it was too embarrassing and if I told Murphy he would think what I did was for revenge. It wasn't revenge; I just wanted something different. I wanted someone to love me and he offered. It was too perfect. I should have known.

"Bridget?" It was quiet, but it was my name, and it was Murphy. I wiped my eyes, nose and took a deep breath. I opened the door.

"Yeah?" I said, knowing by his face that he heard me crying. He looked sweet.

"Hey, I know there's something going on with you and I like you. But I'm staying out of it. Okay?"

That crushed me, but what could I expect? I nodded. Then he kissed the top of my head and gave me a quick hug. It was hope. It hurt.

"Can I get my clothes now?"

"Haha, yeah, let me get them," I said. I grabbed my keys in the kitchen and was on my way to the door. When I opened it Meegan and Connor were standing in the hallway like they were chatting. I gave them a look. Maybe they had been up to the same thing Murphy and I did last night.

"Good morning, or afternoon?" I said.

"Aye, afternoon," said Connor. I gave him a fierce stare. No love interest of Meegan's ever went without one from me. I wanted to make sure that they knew she had a bulldog watching out for her. I hoped Connor wasn't the same way about his brother. I'd be dead before dark. I felt the urge to cry again just thinking about what I did. There was no way I'd ever forgive myself. It was one of those things I would never talk about again, just keep it to myself and die slowly.

"Jesus, you need a coat rack," said Meegan looking at my pile of jackets and sweaters. She opened the closet by the entrance, "Or maybe some hangers." I shrugged. Whatever. Meegan commented on my flaws whenever she could. I hardly ever did the same.

"Okay, I'll be back in a second." I said walking past Connor, he gently grabbed my arm. I looked at him and there was something in his face so soft and so sweet it lightened my heart. "Yeah?"

"Where's Murph?"

"He's in my room, channel surfing."

"Cool, thanks. Hope you didn't give him too much hell."

I just nodded and walked out. I didn't want to lie. In the elevator I cried again. There was no one in the laundry room so I washed my face in the sink and waited for my nose to be less red. My red nose was always the tell tale sign that I had been crying. I just couldn't stop thinking about it; how his breath felt on my neck, his voice whispering, how his skin felt on my skin… I closed my eyes and leaned back against the wall. I was lost in the memory.

MEEGAN

Connor was in Bridget's room talking to Murphy. I looked in the fridge for breakfast. I took out bread and eggs for fried egg sandwiches. I didn't care that I was about to use a ton of butter. I didn't have clear direction since I held a dying stranger who recited a bizarre prayer over me.

There were already dishes in the sink so I assumed Murphy and Bridget had already eaten. I cooked two eggs almost perfectly as I toasted the bread and buttered it. I wondered why Connor and Murphy were talking for such a long time. Maybe they were making plans. Maybe they were talking about how we all knew each other. They were so connected it made me jealous. I had never been that close to anyone, including Bridget. That was my fault though. I had a nasty habit of being jealous of her.

Guys had always liked Bridget better she was prettier than me, more feminine too. She was mysterious and shy then when you got to know her she was sweet and understanding. One of the best listeners I knew. It was hard not to compare myself to her because we were always together and if we weren't friends would ask me where she was. When Bridget was out with our friends somewhere no one asked her about me. It had been that way since high school. People would guess that I was over it seven years later but I still wasn't. Some says I was awful to her because I felt like I could never be as cool or as good a friend as her. Our match against each other was one of those days.

She hit me with a signature shot that was a particularly dirty move. The crowd cheered for her like crazy. I lost it. Within the next four minutes I broke her eye socket and shattered her jaw. I was really lucky I didn't blind her. And as much as I had tried since then I couldn't feel bad about it. I felt vindicated now since I was a crowd favorite and her career was at a turning point, like I was right about something the whole time. It didn't mean I didn't love her. It meant I loved myself more, and I knew that was wrong. I just couldn't fix it.

"Hello? Meegan?" It was Bridget with a pile of clothes in her hands.

"Hey," I said, actually really glad to see her. I was happy to see her when I got to the door this morning, too: memories of Ireland and all.

"I said your name twice," she smiled. "What cha makin'?"

"Fried egg sandwiches."

"Not food for people with a wired jaw."

"I thought you ate-"

"I did, just… commenting." Her face fell a little bit. Something was up. Maybe she was mad at me for the mess we were in. Maybe something bad happened with Murphy. Maybe her and Liam finally fell apart. She had been holding onto the cracks in their foundations for so long now. I hated how he was treating her, but she said she was happy.

"You okay?" I asked quietly. She sighed. That meant she couldn't tell me what was bothering her. That always annoyed the shit out of me. She could trust me, but she never did.

"I will be okay. Let me take this to Murphy." She walked away with the pile of clothes, realizing now that they were Murphy's. If they…. If he…. I will kill him.

MURPHY

After I got dressed everyone met in the kitchen. Meegan and Connor sat eating and Bridget had her eyes on the table. There was something weird about Bridget and Connor at the same table, especially because I was keeping secrets. Maybe that was the only reason. Connor and I didn't have secrets and we didn't lie to each other.*

"So, what's the plan for today?" Meegan asked, picking up her coffee and sipping it.

"You're gonna learn how to use a gun- both of ya," replied Connor through a bite of sandwich.

"Why me?" Bridget asked, "There's no cross around my neck." She was quiet today, and biting again.

"This is dangerous business. Everyone in our lives has to know how to protect herself." I said, wanting to reach and touch her hand. I had no reason to, she had used me.

"I know how to protect myself," she grumbled, "I carry two lethal weapons every day." She made fists. Meegan smiled into her cup. It was true. If they ever just punched somebody it was assault with a deadly weapon. They were boxers.

"You know what happens to people without guns that go up against people with guns?" Asked Connor. Bridget shook her head like she knew the answer but didn't care. She was too pretty to be this petulant. It was fucking annoying.

"They die. If we use guns we equalize," Connor explained.

"I'm sold," replied Meegan, not knowing Connor said that all the time. There was destiny to them. I was sure of it. Dad had picked Meegan for Connor that's why she was given the cross, not Bridget. I still had a feeling we all knew each other from before.

"Agreed. Also, Meegan and I figured where we had met before." I froze, Bridget did too. We did know each other. "The Church on Finley street-"

I didn't hear anything else he said. I went straight into a memory of fire, ash and a small girl crying as I protected her from debris. Bridget was looking at me with wide blue eyes, glazed over with terrifying memories; things that changed for life. She held her hand over her heart. I was sure her heart was pounding. It was clear we weren't listening anymore. Connor just stopped in the middle his sentence. Meegan was patting Bridget's back.

"You girls are… those kids with the messy hair and untied shoes?" I said, looking between them.

"You're those boys?" Bridget said with her face softening. She was looking at me like she had been last night. Like somebody she liked.

"Aye," said Connor with a serious face. "There's no doubt in my mind and I think it means something."

"Like something big is coming and we have to stay together." Meegan added. My heart started pounding. It had been a huge transition when we took The Saints public, now we were adding new members and anticipating a huge event. On top of what happened last night it was too much. We all just continued to sit and look at each other. Then Bridget spoke.

"Well, then what are we waiting for?"

A/N: Artwork for this story (by my little sister ^_^) is coming soon!