Bellatrix the cheerleader

Author's note: Yeah, so this is the result of my sister and I discussing Harry Potter. This is completely crack XD Not sure how we came up with it ... We have a scary imagination some times ...
Oh yeah, this isn't beta'd, so any mistakes are mine and therefore I'm sorry ^^

Warnings: implied yaoi (I couldn't resist XD) and pure crack XD

Disclaimer: After reading this, I think we can safely assume that I don't own Harry Potter ^^

Dedicated to: pokeyspot, my crazy friend and my little sister because she gave me the idea ^^

Enjoy the crackfic XD

It had been six hours since the start of the ultimate battle between Harry Potter and Tom Marvolo Riddle aka Voldemort.

On both sides, many people had grown exhausted and were now half heartily firing spells at each other, hoping that they hit an enemy and not one of their comrades.

However, everyone's attention was soon drawn to the two men who were playing an important part in the war.

Harry finally stood right in front of his archenemy Voldemort. Now he finally had the change to take revenge for the deaths of his parents, his godfather and Cedric. If he played his cards right, he would be the only one surviving this terrible fight.

Black clouds were gathering over the field where the battle was fought and rain drops were falling down hard. In no time everybody was soaked to the bone, but nobody wanted to take shelter or cast a Shield spell in order not to miss anything from the sure to be epic fight.

"So, Potter, we finally meet again." Voldemort hissed, his red eyes glowing eerily through the falling rain.

Harry rolled his eyes. "Yes, we finally meet again, though it only has been a year since we last met."

"And yet, you're still not dead." Voldemort softly hissed.

Harry shrugged and pushed his glasses back since they were in danger of falling of his nose due to his wet face. "Not my fault that you don't seem to manage to kill me properly. Must be the old age. Maybe you should think about retiring, hm?" He suggested with a smirk.

"You insolent fool! Now I'll really make sure you're dead by the time the dawn breaks." Voldemort spat furiously and whipped out his wand.

Harry did the same and immediately they started firing spells at each other: both attacking and defending spells.

By now everyone had stopped fighting and instead choose to watch the fight.

They were fighting for over half an hour until suddenly they heard a yell and when both Harry and Voldemort turned around to see Bellatrix in the middle of the group. She had exchanged her long black Death Eater's robe for a black tank top that reached her belly button and on which the Dark Mark was stitched on and a short black skirt that barely reached her thighs. She had conjured up some pom-poms and was shaking them quite enthusiastically while shouting: "GO VOLDIE, GO VOLDIE! WHO IS GOING TO WIN? YOU: VOLDIE!"

Harry stared at it stunned. "You brought your own cheerleader?"

"Why, of course, little Potter. All powerful men have their own cheerleaders." Voldemort smirked.

"But couldn't you have gone for someone prettier? Like Narcissa Malfoy?" Harry suggested.

Voldemort frowned. "I wanted her as my cheerleader too, but Lucius didn't want to know about it. He didn't want to share her." He pouted.

"That sucks, mate." Harry said sympathetically.

"Tell me about it." Voldemort sighed.

"GO VOLDIE, GO VOLDIE! KILL POTTER, KILL POTTER!" Bellatrix continued to cheer.

"Well, Potter, let's finish …" Voldemort's red eyes widened when he saw the green curse racing to him. It took only ten seconds for the curse to reach his body and envelop it. When the green light disappeared, Voldemort had a surprised look on his face when he fell to the ground. He was finally dead.

Leisurely Harry walked to the dead body and nudged it with his foot, while picking up the fallen wand. "Nobody messes with a Potter and gets away with it, bitch." He smirked and stood up again.

For a moment it was silent, until …

"OH SHIT! OH SHIT!" Bellatrix looked shocked for a few minutes before she resumed her new chanting: "GO HARRY! GO HARRY! I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT! GO HARRY! I ALWAYS SUPPORTED YOU! GO HARRY! GO HARRY!"

"Of course you did." Harry said sarcastically.

Remus, who stood next to Bellatrix sighed and whacked her firmly against her head, knocking her out in the progress.

When Lucius looked at him with a raised eyebrow, Remus answered: "She was annoying me."

Lucius nodded. "I understand. I would have done it sooner, but in the beginning it was sort of amusing to see her embarrass herself in front of the Lord."

"You're sadistic." Remus remarked casually.

Lucius shrugged. "Maybe, but your honorary godson isn't being a saint now either."

When Remus looked at Harry, he saw the boy jumping up and down in joy, grinning madly and singing in an off tune voice: "HE'S DEAD! OLD VOLDY IS DEAD! HE'S DEAD AND HE'S NEVER COMING BACK! OH HELL YEAH, I'M GOOD!"

Remus looked at the others and shrugged. They shrugged too before joining in with Harry.

"HE'S DEAD! HE'S DEAD! HE'S NEVER COMING BACK!"

The celebrations lasted a whole month. Lucius declared he had always known that Harry would win and had retreated back in his manor to enjoy the cheerleading show his wife Narcissa gave him.

Bellatrix herself had decided that killing and torturing people just wasn't any fun anymore without a master to impress and had immigrated to America where she had joined a cheerleader's team. Later she declared she had never been so happy before.

And Harry? Well, he got together with Draco after having had a fling with Ginny and had three children with him who loved to hear their father tell them the story about the downfall of 'good old Voldie'.

THE END

AN2: So yeah, what do you think of it? My first attempt at a crack fic XD It would be nice if you left some reviews for my little sister (no really, you should because she can be a bitch if she doesn't get her way ... And if she's bitchy, then I can't concentrate on my stories and then there won't be any chapters ... You don't want that, do you? XP)

All right, now I'm off to post two other oneshots and the next chapter of Will you be my daddy?

Lots of love

Melissa

P.S. For information about the rest of my upcoming and posted stories, please visit my profile