Disclaimer: As usual, all characters are the property of JE. I am making no money yada, yada, yada

WARNING: For Adult Content & Language. Not Cupcake Friendly. I don't know why, but even when I don't intentionally try to hurt Joe I still manage to rip him to shreds. Sorry!

CHAPTER 4

SPOV

I woke up when I heard my hospital room door open. A rather large, bald, black man, dressed in all black, walked in the door, but I figured he couldn't be all bad because he was carrying a Pino's bag. I also saw that Ranger was sitting in the chair beside my bed and I knew he would never let anyone hurt me.

Turning my attention back to the man carrying what I hoped to be my lunch, I gave him a small smile. "Do I know you, too?" I asked him curiously.

He granted me a huge smile, showing me large white teeth. "Yes, you do. You call me Tank."

"I can definitely see that. Is there something for me in that bag?" I asked him hopefully.

"I value my life too much to ever bring a Pino's bag within a mile radius of you and not make sure there is something in it for you." He told me with a chuckle as he reached inside and pulled out a large meatball sub and handed it to me.

"I love you." I told him.

"I love you too, Bomber." He told me with a laugh.

"Bomber?" I asked wondering what that meant.

I spent the next hour being regaled with stories of the cars that I had destroyed. I couldn't believe that Ranger still spoke to me after I had destroyed his Porsche and gotten his Beamer stolen. He was definitely more than just a friend to me, but I couldn't really figure out what.

After lunch, the doctor came in and checked me out. He told me that I would probably be able to go home that night. I was extremely happy to hear that, but I wasn't sure what I was going to wear because I only seemed to have the stupid hospital gown that I was wearing.

I looked in the closets in my room while trying to keep my ass covered when Ranger knocked on the door.

"Looking for something?" He asked as he entered the room.

"Yes, I was looking for the clothes I was wearing when I came in last night. I'm pretty sure I wasn't wearing this gown when they brought me in." I replied, slightly annoyed that I couldn't find anything.

"The nurse said they had to throw your clothing out. It was covered in blood and glass. I asked my house keeper, Ella, to put a few of your things together for you and she just dropped it off." He explained and held up a small overnight bag.

I was happy but a little confused as to why he had some of my things.

"Since you work at my office, you leave a few changes of clothing there." He explained, answering my unasked questioned.

Huh, I guess that made sense. I was so happy to have real clothing to put on I didn't think much about it. I walked over and grabbed the bag and gave him a quick peck on the lips without thinking about it. It just seemed like the natural thing to do, but it was anything but.

My mind flooded with memory after memory. Four years worth of memories bombarded my brain– my car getting repossessed, blackmailing Vinnie for a job, Morelli and all of our on/off phases, Ramirez and finding Lula on my fire escape, meeting the Merry Men at my first redecorating job, becoming fast friends with Lula and Connie, and all the bits and pieces in between. And most importantly, I remembered Ranger. I remembered the first day we met at the diner; how he got shot when he helped me bring in my first FTA; that I called him to unlock me from the shower rod because I somehow trusted him from the very beginning. I remembered, his face when he pulled me out of the cabinet at Stiva's, the way he held me wrapped in his coat at Mama Macaroni's funeral, the deal and our amazing night together, how much the morning after had hurt, his calm demeanor when he walked into my apartment to face Scrog, and the way he crumpled to the carpet when he was shot that day and how terrified I was that I'd never be able to tell him how much I loved him.

"Babe, are you okay?" He asked, sounding worried.

"What? Oh yeah. I'm good. I'm just going to go put these on." I told him as I made my way into the bathroom.

As soon as I shut the door, I sagged against it. I remembered everything. All four years were back, but something still felt different and I wasn't sure what it was. Trying to stall by taking as much time as possible to put my clothes on, I finally took a deep breath for courage, opened the door, and walked out into the room.

Ranger was sitting beside the bed and looked at me curiously. "Are you sure you're okay, Babe?" He asked again studying me intently.

"Yeah, I'm good. I'm just feeling tired. Would you mind if I took nap?" I asked, hoping to get a little alone time.

He looked at me for a second and I could tell he didn't believe me, but fortunately he decided to let it go. "Sure, I'll leave you alone so you can get some rest. I'll be back to check on you a little later though, if that's okay."

"Sure, that's fine." I told him and smiled. I knew I'd want to talk to him later, right after I got done talking to Joe.

As soon as he walked out of the door, I threw myself on the hospital bed in my thinking position. I quickly figured out what was different. When all my memories of the past four years flooded back, the feelings of inadequacy I had felt over the past few years didn't come back with them.

The sense of anger and genuine disgust I had felt towards Joe Morelli for the better part of my life was back though. I honestly couldn't really come up with one good reason that I'd ever let him back into my life after I'd proven his innocence. I think I just started caving to the pressure of my mother and the Burg wanting me to find someone to get married. And honestly, I didn't want to be alone.

I was actually disgusted with myself. My grandmother was right. I had lost the part of me that made me Stephanie some where during the past four years. Fortunately, I seem to have found her and I wasn't about to lose her again. My first order of business would be to tell Morelli what I should have told him four years ago.

I would also need to have a little chat with my mother. I was tired of being treated like I was twelve years old and she needed to know that if she wished to be part of my life then she needed to learn how to respect my decisions even if she didn't always agree with them.

My final order of business would probably be the hardest, but that was because even before my bump on the noggin I wasn't too sure about where Ranger and I stood. Now that I had my memory back, I could actually read into a few things that Ranger had said to me. I wanted to know what he meant when he said that he'd spent the past year trying to make it possible for him to make things right between us and that he was worried that he might be too late. Could that mean that he would finally want a relationship with me? Because, without a doubt in my mind, I knew I wanted one with him.

When I said I got all my memories back, I meant all of them; even the very last one I had, right before the wreck. I was done with denial.

I was brought from my musings when my door opened and my mother came in alone. This couldn't be good. Oh well, it looked like this was one conversation I would be able to get out of the way.

"Stephanie, how are you feeling?" She asked crisply.

I knew that it was just a formality. That wasn't the real reason she was here.

"Better. I should be able to go home this evening. I'm surprised to see you back here." I told her giving her the opening I knew she was looking for.

"I wanted to speak to you alone, Stephanie. I've had enough of you acting like a selfish spoiled child; always putting your wants and your needs above Joseph's and your families' wants and needs. Have you ever thought about what your family wanted or what Joe's family wanted? No, of course you haven't! It's time for you to grow up, get married, and start a family. You're not getting any younger. I expect you to go to Vinnie's tomorrow and give your notice. You will tell Joseph that you will marry him and you will start planning your wedding. Do I make myself clear?" She demanded.

"Yes, Mother, you've made yourself perfectly clear. Now, let me make myself clear. I'm your daughter, not your slave. I don't have to do whatever you say. I won't be marrying Joe. As a matter of fact, after tonight, I won't even be dating Joe. If this isn't something you can accept, then that's fine with me. That's your problem and you will have to deal with it. You can disown me, never speak to me again, whatever you feel necessary. I really don't care anymore. I'm tired of having you brow beat me and make me feel like I'm not worthy just because I won't become a "Burg" wife. I want to be Stephanie. There's nothing wrong with the woman I am and if you don't love me for who I am, then I don't need you to love me at all." I told her finally.

By this point, she was staring at me in complete shock. It took a few minutes, but she finally got enough control of her senses and began to rant. "How dare you talk to me like that? I'm your mother..." She started.

"Enough!" I said loudly. "For the past thirty years, I've put up with you insulting me and treating me like less of a person because I was different and I'm done. I'd like you to leave and until you decide to treat me with the respect that I deserve, I see no need for you to contact me at all." I told her.

"Stephanie Michelle Plum…" She yelled.

"Ram!" I yelled, knowing that he and Junior were outside.

My door immediately opened and Ram and Junior walked inside.

"My mother was just leaving. Would you mind escorting her out?" I asked them.

I watched as both their eyes widened, but they both nodded their heads.

My mother turned to me. "You wouldn't?" She asked stunned.

"Oh, I would!" I told her honestly. I was tired of having her bully me.

She just huffed and stomped her way out of the room. Damn that felt good.

Ram and Junior stood and looked at me with smirks on their faces for a few seconds before they shook their heads and went back outside. I figured that I'd just blown my cover on my memory, but honestly I figured Ranger knew when he left my room the last time. The only person I was still holding out on was Joe. I had one question I wanted to ask him before I told him I had my memory back.