Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are owned by Disney. All registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

When You're Lying Awake with a Dismal Headache

Shego stayed and ate a couple more cookies when the next batch came hot out of the oven. But she said little and then got up abruptly, "I'm going back upstairs and lying down."

"Please stay," Anne asked, but Shego ignored her and exited the kitchen.

"I expect you to eat dinner with us this evening," Anne called at her retreating form.

"Well, looks like you made a little progress," Kim said.

Anne Possible sighed, "I was making a lot of progress until you came in the door. I don't know what happened. You came in and she shut down."

"Sorry," Kim apologized. "Maybe it's the fact we've fought for so long. I'm not sure how comfortable I am sitting at the table with her."

"Perhaps. But at one point while we were talking she said something about respecting you-"

"What!" Kim asked in disbelief, "Shego?"

"She saw you as an equal, enjoyed the fights you had. Of course, as she tells it she always beat you-"

"Oh, right!" Kim snorted.

"Regardless," her mother said sternly. "You need to try and reach out to her. Go upstairs and talk with her."

"She didn't say a word to me for two and a half days!"

"Well, I got her started talking now, don't let the moment slip away." Anne put three more warm cookies on a plate. "Take these up to her."

Kim knocked on the door, "Can I come in?"

"Go away," Shego called.

"Mom sent me up with two cookies for you. Thought you might still be hungry."

"The cookies are welcome. You aren't."

"We're a package deal," Kim told her, opening the door.

Shego sat up on the bed as Kim came in and handed her the plate, then the redhead plopped down on the chair. Shego stared at the plate for a second then held it out, "Want one?"

"No, they're both for you."

"Peace offering?"

"I, ah… Mom sent three. I ate one on the way up."

They laughed together. Kim leaned back in the chair and Shego ate the cookies, then lay back on the bed.

"So, how you doing, really?"

"You want the truth?" Shego huffed. "You want the truth? You can't handle the truth!"

Kim giggled slightly. "Seriously."

"Seriously?" Shego lost the smile she'd had briefly and stared at the ceiling. "Try finding out your whole life is a fucking lie. Try being told everything you think you know is fake. Try discovering that you can't even trust your own fucking brain because some blue loon scrambled your memories and morals and everything that makes you who you are. And then tell me how you're doing."

Kim remained silent for a minute, then softly said, "I'm sorry."

Shego sighed. "Not your fault. I want to find Drakken and kill him. I want to go rob a bank after that. But I know he was the bastard who made me want to be a thief." Kim noticed tears in Shego's eyes. "I can't even trust my own mind. I don't know who I am. I'm not real."

"You are real," Kim assured her, leaning forward and taking Shego's hand. "See, I can touch you."

"Doesn't make me real. All my memories are fake."

"They aren't fake. The one's from the other Shego are real memories. They shaped the person you are. You have real memories of the things you've done. Some of your, uh, desires… If you know they're programmed into you, can't you learn to fight them?"

"Do I want to?"

"You want to be a thief?" Kim asked, puzzled.

"Well, doh! It's how my brain is wired, of course it's what I want… But, let's imagine I can isolate those feelings of wanting to commit crimes. Let's pretend I can ignore them. I… Oh, hell, let's take a better example. Drakken probably changed a lot. He… I… Let's look at Hego. Rebecca of Sunnybrook farm thinks he's God. Maybe I can respect him for the fact he worked his butt off to keep the family together. But the man is a pompous jerk! I don't want to go back to worshipping the big idiot."

"Okay, maybe you have grown up and learned things," Kim said reassuringly. "Maybe there is some compromise between worshipping him and hating him."

"Yeah, maybe," Shego sighed. But there are other things where I don't want to…"

"Don't want to what?"

"Never mind. I won't tell you. I need to figure out who I am… If I am…"

"You know who you need to talk with?"

"I'll bite, if you let me… Sorry, who is it I need to talk with?"

"You need to talk with you."

"With me? Rebecca of Sunnybrook farm? The idiot who thinks good will conquer evil because it's nicer? Oh yeah, that will make me want to change my ways."

"Seriously, she can provide you with a baseline, a reminder of your original values. You need to uncover your default mode even if you don't go back there."

"I doubt if she wants to see me. You heard the way she hates me."

"She thought you'd stolen her identity. You're as much a victim as she is."

Shego rolled her eyes, "You and Rebecca have a lot in common."

"Please, I'll talk with her," Kim promised.

"And if she says no?"

"I can beat her in a fight."

Shego grinned at Kim, "Maybe you're more like me."

Kim had a request after dinner, "Will you let Wade scan you?"

"Scan me? Why?"

"He's scanned Drakken clones before. They were never stable. We want-"

"So I'm a lab rat," Shego said glumly.

"Please," Anne spoke up, "the technology might have medical benefits."

"Okay, where to I need to go?"

"We can do it here, the Kimmunicator has the capability," Kim assured her.

"Do I need to take off my clothes?" Shego asked nervously as Kim contacted Wade.

"No."

"Okay, but that scanner better not see through clothes."

"Thanks," Wade told Shego five minutes later.

"Can you tell anything from the scan?" the green woman demanded.

"That just gathered data," he told her, "may take weeks to get it analyzed."