This world isn't mine

Only the situation and

anything you don't recognize

Thoughts always vibrate through the walls of the mind. Whether they be petty concerns, ideas or plans, thoughts bounce through the brain at every given moment. Edward's mind has been riddled with millions of thoughts in his lifetime, usually more than one crowding it. Today, his busy mind was preoccupied with a single thought. Her face appeared at every corner inside his head. Everywhere he looked, she seemed to be just waiting for his gaze to meet hers, just a few steps away but as he got closer, she was not.

Edward ran through the hallway, pushing dozens of bodies out of the way, scanning every inch of space inside the school, taking a good glance at every passing female, desperately tying to find Bella. The most frustrating thing about his frantic search was the fact that he had no idea what he would do when he found her. In all his time spent in Forks, he had never shared more words than he had to with any other being. He couldn't recall the last time he'd even uttered a word. It is reasonable to say that even if he found this one girl among a thousand students, Edward was not prepared to engage with her in conversation. In his hormone raged madness, Edward had no time to consider his actions.

To his dismay, she was nowhere to be found. With a look of disappointment, Edward slowed down his steps and dragged himself to his next class. Like every other gym period, the girls were in their own gymnasium, and like every other gym period, Edward sat on the bench, watching dully at his fellow classmate's attempts to prove their athletic superiority to each other. Even though the images of them exercising their egos flashed before his eyes, Edward was only able to see Isabella. Or Bella as she preferred to be called.

The next period happened to be English. The class was set up in a very special way so that every student would get to sit next to another. Before today, the class had an uneven amount of students and Edward was happy to be the odd one out, the only one without a partner. He remembered this during gym and couldn't help hoping that Bella, being the student to even out the class, would have no other choice but to sit next to him. As the sweat ran through the boys' foreheads and their breathless grunts echoed through the room, Edward concentrated on everything he knew about interacting, everything he knew from experience, everything he'd observed others do in the past, everything he'd watched on the television and in movies, and everything he'd ever read. It didn't take him long to realize that he had almost no socializing experience, throughout the years he had never taken interest in others, he didn't watch much television or movies and he never retained anything he read in books. When the bell rang for period's end, Edward felt terrified, delighted and thirsty all at once.

He tried his best to construct and map out possible topics of conversation but he found it difficult because he had no idea what to say to Bella that might be interesting or appropriate. He'd never felt so many things at once and couldn't currently tell if it was a good thing or if it was a bad thing. His facial expression twisted anxiously while he took his seat and looked at the open door, waiting for her to arrive, waiting for her imminent presence to change his life.

Bella walked into the room, one hand nervously brushing her hair behind her ear, the other holding the few notebooks she had decided to bring into class. She kept her eyes trained at the floor, not daring to glance at anyone other than the teacher. Her long legs took small strides towards the teacher's wooden desk, then she attempted to explain her arrival in as few possible words. The teacher nodded in approval to her story then proceeded to instruct her to walk to the back of the class after receiving a copy of the textbook.

Since her arrival, Edward was not the only male to be smitten. Edward, who is usually trapped in a zombie state of mind, was unable to notice that most of his classmates had spent most of the day having conversations about Bella. It was not until now, when she took her shy steps towards the end of the class, closer and closer to Edward, that he finally heard what the others were saying. The vile thoughts that had claimed the others sub consciences. He could not help but tense up at the fact that most of the students only saw her as a toy, a game, a conquest. He was sickened at how all the girls thought of her as a pest, a threat that needed to be isolated. But as she sat down next to him and gave him a small, weak smile, he couldn't help but feel his now uncontrollable and unquenchable thirst. As much as he wanted to see her as a friend, a romantic interest, a possible place of comfort, he could only see her as a meal.

Edward sucked in his breath and averted his eyes. The color flushed from his face and he turned to the plain white wall to his right, doing his best not to look at Bella. His whole body froze in this unfriendly pose and every small morsel of hope he had built up in his mind until now was shattered to pieces now that his animal instincts took over. His hands dug into the side of his desk, crushing the wood, the splinters trying to force themselves into his pale skin. He attempted to take a quick glance at her only to find her looking confused and most likely hurt by his inexplicable actions.

The class went on the same way during the whole period. Bella stared only at the professor and her books, saving herself the trouble of feeling insulted by Edward's defensive pose. Edward didn't look anywhere else but the wall, attempting to save himself the trouble of feeling tempted by Bella's scent. She stole the odd glances at this mysterious boy who treated her so strangely, so rudely. He couldn't help but risk looking at her once but all he saw was her body hunched over, her hair covering her face. Returning his gaze back to the wall, he considered that maybe this was the perfect moment to look at her undisturbed. She was doing her work and so were all the other students. This might be the only chance he'll get to take a good lasting look. A look that might define what image of her will haunt his thoughts for the next few hours. He took a deep breath and turned back to her.

Edward was caught off guard when he turned to see her looking up, her eyes meeting his. They both stared at each other for a few, silent seconds, none of the two willing to end this moment. Her face was fixed into a quizzical stare, very innocent, full of curiosity while his was filled with a flame in his eyes. A flame that could easily be passionate or dangerous. Edward did his best to say something, to blurt out "hello" or to ask her how she was but his mind closed up and his muscles tensed up. Bella wanted to say something, let him know that she was someone he should feel comfortable around. She wanted him to know that she wouldn't mind having a conversation with him but his intense glare startled her and left her speechless. She could sense an odd desperation in him and felt this strong desire help him stop feeling this desperation, to see him more relaxed. He turned back to the wall in one swift movement, never daring to turn around again. She was sitting right next to him but he still felt like there was a large degree of separation between them.

Edward counted every single second left in the period, not really caring for the work assigned to him. Every tick of the clock brought him farther away from her. He thought that he could put his nature aside and try to be normal for once, try to be happy but he just wasn't normal, instinct won over willpower. Just as he counted six hundred seconds left in the period, the teacher stopped the class for a few seconds to announce that he felt that they had all worked magnificently today and deserved a break. His nails scraped against the wood as he glanced to the left and noticed Bella's nervous expression, no doubt the expression one might get before attempting to break the awkward silence between two pale skinned, socially impaired outcasts.

"Umhh..he-hello," she nervously blurted out, her words barely audible. "I'm Bella Swan. Seeing as we're going to be sitting next to one another I thought maybe we could sort of try to get to know each other a little better. That is unless you're not okay with that because I can definitely understand if you're not."

Edward was thrown off guard, not sure of what to respond, how to react. His mind stopped working and he had no idea what to do to kick start it back into action. He scanned through a few dozen things he could say before being able to open his mouth. "No, no, no. It's okay. I mean it's fine," he managed to say. His hands were shaking and he was finding it hard to think what else to say to continue the conversation. "My name is uh, Edward Cullen. It's nice to meet someone. I mean, to meet someone different. No, not different! I mean uh, someone new."

He put an urgent emphasis on that last word. His face was clouded with obvious uncertainty and he didn't know if he could stand another second in her irresistible presence. He tried to give her a small grin but it didn't come out quite as friendly as he'd hoped.

"Ummh, okay. Have you lived in Forks all your life?" she asked with undeniable desire to keep their awkward conversation going. "It'd be really great to have a friend here that could show me around, help me get used to my surroundings."

"I have lived in Forks for some time," he said, "quite some time. I don't go out much so...I don't know if I'm someone who could really help you ummh, adapt to Forks. Honestly, I'm as much of a tourist to Forks as you."

"That's okay," she started to say, "we could get to know Forks together if you don't mind." She shot him another one of her unbelievably cute smiles that had Edward wanting her more and more. He did his best to give her another grin, this one coming out better than the last one.

Edward's mind was flooded with thoughts of her and him together, something that at that moment of weak conversation, that moment of playful smiles, seemed so possible. He thought for a second that he could put everything else aside, really concentrate, and then maybe she and him could blossom into something beautiful, something normal, something human. For one second it seemed like maybe all could work itself out for this tortured soul, this shelled being. Just for a moment.

"So, Edward, this is my phone number," she said as she slid a piece of paper across her desk to his, " now, can you give me yours? I'll try to see if I can call you this-Edward,are you okay?" Those last words slipped out filled with genuine worry and unmistakable surprise. When Bella slid the paper across the desks, her hand accidentally brushed against Edward's, awakening in him something he, despite the strong willpower he had shown for the past hour, could not control. His whole body shuddered, his face was flushed from the little colour he did have, his nails dug into the desk and his face twisted into the look of someone undeniably in pain.

The bell rang in synchronicity with Edward's loss of control to his demons. Never before had Bella see someone get away from her in such a rough and rude manner. She didn't know how to feel at his sudden disappearance. She looked the desk where he had just been a few seconds ago, perplexed by his odd behavior. She stood up and began walking to her next class. On her way there, she couldn't help but think to herself that despite his stunning display of abnormal behavior, she hoped he would call.

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