A/N: Thank you so much for your lovely reviews!

Warning: This fic will contain angst, language, and drinking, so this is just a warning if that's not your cup of tea :)

Other than that, please enjoy!

Chapter 2

"Hey mom, where's dad?"

"Daddy's at work, sweetie."

"When is dad coming home?"

"I don't know, Lovino."

I found myself having this conversation with my mom more frequently nowadays. Feliciano was a bigger financial burden than originally expected. The school year had started up as well, so my parents needed money for my new clothes and school supplies. I wasn't mature enough at the time to realize just how rough this year was on my parents. Whenever I came home, I came home to smiles, to praise of my good school work, to a nice home cooked meal, and sometimes to my dad who only wanted to go play catch outside or cuddle little Feliciano in his arms. I tried to ignore the troubled looks my mom would give to my dad over the dinner table, to my parents' whispers at night as they leaned over bills spread over the countertop…

I wasn't ignorant about the situation. I just chose to be. What was money to a little kid? What did I know of bills, of how much the mortgage was or how much food cost? All I knew was that I wanted toys on Christmas, my favorite brand cereal for breakfast, and to go on a school trip with the rest of my class. Money got me what I wanted, and since I hadn't been denied anything as of yet, money didn't seem like such an issue. I knew it was an issue, but it just didn't seem like it to me…

Sometimes I would sit beside my door late at night when I wasn't able to fall asleep. I would listen to my parents. My mom would sound worried, my dad would hush her and tell her he'd just pick up another shift, that was all, it wouldn't be so bad. Mom would protest, saying she didn't want him to pick up another shift, that she could go get a job herself…but then who would take care of us? I didn't like listening to these things. I didn't want to hear that both my mom and dad wouldn't be there to say hi to me when I arrived home from school. I didn't want to hear the worry evident in their voices. A little kid shouldn't have to worry about adult issues. A little kid should worry about his toys, his cereal, and his school. That was all.

But still…I couldn't stop listening. My parents would sometimes talk for hours and hours. Most of the time, I actually couldn't make out what they were saying, but it didn't matter. It was the tone in which things were said that drove the point across. Listening to their whispers almost made me feel like a voyeur, like I was a witness to something I wasn't supposed to know about, and yet couldn't stop because I almost liked hearing their voices… I felt guilty for intruding upon something that wasn't meant for my ears, but at the same time, hearing their voices was calming in a way…like a lullaby to lull me to sleep. Just the sound of their voices, even laced with anxiety, was comforting because, at the time, I felt like my parents could handle anything. Even though they were concerned now, in the morning they wouldn't be. They would be back to normal because they always made it seem like everything was under control.

The financial strain on my family started to take true effect during the middle of the year. My dad was never home often. He took shifts for everyday of the week. Sometimes, if my dad knew he wasn't going to see us all day, he would call. I looked forward to those phone calls, although I'd never admit it out loud.

RIIIING

"I got it, I got it!" I shouted as I ran down the hallway into the living room where the phone was.

"Ok Lovi…" my mom chuckled as she saw me sprint across her and grab the phone. She was washing dishes anyway, probably too busy to get the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey, kiddo, how was school today?"

The sound of my dad's voice made me smile. I turned my back so my mom couldn't see the upward turn of my lips. I didn't want anyone to know that I was happy for some reason. I wanted to keep these moments to myself.

But as soon as I smiled, I had replaced it with a frown. School had been pretty stupid today, now that I thought about it. "School was stupid," I said, voicing what I really thought.

"Stupid? Why was it stupid?" my dad asked with amusement. I didn't think it was so funny!

"Because today we had a pop quiz and my teacher yelled at us because lots of us failed!" I shouted, frustrated over the situation. If she had wanted us to get good grades, why not tell us about the quiz first? How was I supposed to know who the first president was? I wasn't Albert Einstein!

"Pop quiz, eh? Sounds rough…"

"Mhm!" I said, nodding in agreement even though I knew he couldn't see me. Pressing the phone closer to my ear using both my hands, I asked, "Did you take down a fire today, daddy?"

My dad chuckled on the other end of the line. "Nope, not today! Maybe I'll take one down later and you can brag to all of your friends just how awesome your dad is!"

I stuck my tongue out, but the thought of bragging to my classmates did make me happy. Before I could respond to what my dad had said, I heard Feliciano crying in the background.

"Lovino!" my mom yelled from the kitchen. "Can you calm your brother down? I'm trying to do the dishes!"

I sighed. "Dad, I need to go. Your other son is crying again."

"He's also your brother, kiddo."

I stuck my tongue out again and made a noise that sounded like "bleh". My dad laughed again, said "Alright, then put your mother on."

"Wait!" I said, something nagging my mind.

"What's that?"

"Are you going to be home tomorrow…after school?" I asked hesitantly. I usually only saw him during dinner or early in the morning. All I really wanted, however, was to maybe play some catch once I got off the school bus. Not that I needed to play catch or anything! It was just so I could procrastinate on my homework. I mean, anyone would rather play catch with their dad then do homework, right?

There was a slight hesitance on the other end of the line, but soon enough, my dad said, "Course I'll be there. And we can go play catch once you get home from school! Ok?"

I found myself smiling once again. Only my dad really had the ability to do that to me, no matter how much I tried to prevent it. I promptly handed the phone over to my mom. She placed the phone between her ear and shoulder, holding it in place while her hands preoccupied themselves with the dishes. "Hey, Gil, how was your day?" she asked with a soft smile. It looked as if she was in one of those "I love you Gilbert and I want to kiss you in front of Lovino even though it's icky" type of moods again, so I turned away and went back into my room to tend to a crying Feliciano.

As soon as I peered into his crib, I noticed what was wrong. He had dropped his pacifier. Grumbling to myself, I shoved the pacifier into the little squirt's mouth to get him to shut up. I probably could have been a little less rough, but Feliciano wore a content look on his face nonetheless. I stared at him as he suckled in some sort of childish fascination. Sometimes watching my baby brother made me wonder how I was when I was that tiny…

Feliciano's eyes were beginning to grow heavy. Well, if he took a nap now that would mean some peace and quiet for a few hours, which was fine by me. Maybe I'd actually do my homework early so that I'd have more free time when my dad came home tonight…

A few hours later, my dad did come home. The rest of us had already finished dinner, but my mom heated the leftovers in the microwave for him. He looked really tired, but I tried bugging him anyway. It really felt like he was barely around anymore, and since I was done with both dinner and my homework, I felt like I deserved his attention for at least a little bit.

As I poked him in the leg, my dad let out a sigh and then a soft smile. He picked me up and let me sit in his lap as he ate his dinner and started talking with my mom across the table. He still wasn't really paying attention to me, but it would have to do. I fiddled with the cuffs of his shirt, bounced in his lap, and everything I could think of to distract me from the utter boredom of "grown-up talk".

The rest of the day passed by quickly, and I soon found myself being tucked in by my dad. It was pretty late and I could hear crickets chirping outside my bedroom window. My dad gently kissed my forehead and said, "Goodnight, kiddo" before he got up and went to go leave the room.

Something didn't sit well in my stomach. I didn't want him to leave just yet. If he left, he would go back to mom and they'd be whispering into the night again, and even though their whispers would sometimes bring me peace, tonight it felt very…wrong. Like something bad was going to happen. It was as if those whispers were suddenly going to come true if he left my room…as if he wasn't just leaving my room, but that he was leaving forever and never coming back.

Before I knew it, I felt myself panicking at his retreating back. "Dad!" I shouted. I knew I should've been more careful with Feliciano sleeping just a few feet away from me, but I just didn't want my dad to leave. Not yet.

My dad turned around and put his finger to his lips, warning me to keep silent. Luckily, Feliciano was still fast asleep, but that didn't matter much to me at the moment. My dad walked back and I felt the impulse to hug him tightly, so he wouldn't go, couldn't go, but I didn't.

I felt an onslaught of tears prickling the corners of my eyes. "Hey, hey…" my dad whispered, surprised as he tried to soothe me. He took his thumb and wiped away the tears before they had the chance to fall. "What's the matter? Don't cry, kiddo, there's nothing to cry about…" His eyes were wide and worried, probably because he didn't know how to handle the situation. Whenever I cried, it was because I had hurt myself or I had wanted something. These tears were alien to both me and him.

I sniffled a bit, just letting a small silence pass between us. "Are you really going to be here tomorrow after school?" I managed to croak out, trying to swallow down the small lump in my throat.

"Is that what this is about?" my dad asked, a small smile appearing on his face. "I already told you, of course I'll be here tomorrow, ok?"

"Promise?" I asked, still unsure if he was telling the truth. My dad gave a small chuckle and ruffled my hair.

"I promise."

I smiled, and this time I let him see my smile. It was a smile of relief, of happiness, and of comfort. He gave me a hug and a small kiss to the forehead before, once again, retreating out of the room. This time, however, I wasn't nervous about him leaving my room. I just had a sense that…he really loved me…and that he'd never let anything bad happen to me, to his family.

I had no idea at the time, however, that my earlier apprehension was actually foreshadowing what was to come the next day…something that would affect the next few years of my life.

"I'm home!" I shouted as I kicked the door open, quickly glancing at the couch to see if, perhaps, my dad was there. I frowned a little when there was no one occupying the living room. I just saw my mom in the kitchen with little Feliciano in her arms. He had a snot bubble again.

Putting aside my disgust, I went up to my mom and tugged at her skirt.

"Hey mom, where's dad?"

"Daddy's at work, sweetie."

"When is dad coming home?"

This time my mom sighed before replying. "I don't know, Lovino."

I became really angry all of a sudden. This conversation with my mom was becoming too mundane. Why was my dad always at work? Didn't he promise me he would be here after I came out from school?

Trying to mask my disappointment, I grumbled on the way to my room and threw my book bag on the floor. I climbed onto my bed and wrapped my arms around my knees, huffing over the fact that my dad had lied to me.

That, however, didn't stop me from jerking at every small noise that sounded like a door opening. I knew I was just getting my hopes up, but something inside told me that my dad couldn't have lied the other day, that he had truly, honestly promised he would be here…

I hated feeling sorry for myself and decided to channel my anger and disappointment through violence. I picked up my action figures and began beating them against each other.

By the time dinner ended, my dad still wasn't home. I was more down that I had been in a while, and I think my mom was upset too. She kept drumming her fingers on the table all throughout dinner and kept glancing towards the phone. I, on the other hand, decided to ignore the phone. I wouldn't care at all if it rang. Not one bit. It wasn't as if I was sneaking peaks at the phone all throughout dinner and as I watched TV and as I did my homework or anything like that…

I was obviously just angry at my dad. It's not like I missed him being around. My mom was the one who missed him, not me. I was just annoyed that he lied.

I continued watching TV in my pajamas for a while. My mom never got up from her seat at the kitchen table. She had one hand drumming fingers along the table's surface and the other in a slight fist with her chin resting on it. Feliciano was crying in his little play pen, but it was almost as if my mom couldn't hear him. I kept looking to her so she would calm her son down already, but she seemed intent on staying put and staring at the phone.

I turned the volume up to see if I could drown out the kid's whining, but when it grew to be too much I threw the remote to the ground and stomped over to Feliciano. "What?" I yelled in frustration. He was giving me the worst headache ever with all his racket.

Feliciano looked a little stunned for a few seconds before bursting out into even bigger sobs. I groaned and clamped my hands onto my ears. This was not the way I wanted to spend today. "Will you just shut up, you stupid annoying little-"

"Lovino!" my mom screamed at me. Now it was time for me to be shocked. I had never heard her so angry before. "Leave Feliciano alone, he's just a baby!"

Mom looked furious. I swallowed a little lump in my throat before I resigned myself to sitting back on the couch to watch more TV. I couldn't really pay attention this time, however. I felt like I was listening more to my mom and Feliciano than I was to the cartoon on screen.

Feliciano was still crying as loudly as ever. My mom's hands had flown to her forehead, which she was rubbing in frustration. Even a kid as little as I was could sense the tension in the air. I kept quiet, certain that I could stay invisible and go unnoticed.

The tension in the air continued to grow for about another hour. It was already 10:30 at night. I usually never stayed up past ten and was surprised that my mom hadn't said anything yet. She seemed really worried and upset now. From the way this day had been going, I had the lingering suspicion that dad really was supposed to have been home earlier. I frowned and pursed my lips a bit. Was he really still at work? I had the urge to ask my mom, but looking at her expression, I deemed it as a bad idea that would only make her yell at me some more.

Turning off the TV and passing by my now-sleeping baby brother, I quietly walked to my bedroom. I quickly had myself under the covers and tried to close my eyes and fall asleep. The house was much too quiet now, unlike earlier. The funny thing was that it was the silence that seemed louder. I found myself squirming under the sheets, unable to find a comfortable spot. I flipped my pillow multiple times, but each time I laid my head against its surface, it felt much too hot. My entire room felt stuffy and suffocating, the entire house even.

Frustrated, I disentangled myself from the sheets and leaned against the wall next to the door of my bedroom, resuming my usual pastime of listening to what was going on outside. I could barely hear anything. Feliciano was probably still asleep, and it looked as if my mom wasn't moving from her spot.

A few minutes later, however, I heard the slight shuffle of feet and the TV being turned on. I listened carefully, only catching glimpses of what was being said.

"Huge fire downtown… a few casualties… those injured currently being taken to the local hospital…"

As I listened to the TV, I could swear I heard my mom whisper, "Oh, Gilbert…" to herself as she watched.

I didn't want to know what was going on. If there was a fire, then my dad could put it out. He couldn't be hurt or anything. He was the greatest fireman in that station, probably the whole world! He was most likely at the fire rescuing everybody like the great fireman he was.

But still…there was that lingering suspicion in the back of my mind that maybe he was hurt. I didn't want to believe that, though.

I felt myself dozing off as I continued to sit against the wall. I wasn't sure how long it'd been, but all I knew was that I had never stayed up this late in my entire life. The room, which had been hot and suffocating before, was starting to feel chilly. I wrapped my arms around myself and tried not to doze until I knew dad was home and that he was ok. Feliciano was still sleeping in the play pen…mom was too distracted to even put him in his crib, it seemed.

As my head began to bob up and down, I heard the click of a lock.

It was the same sound the keys made when someone was opening the door.

Was it dad?

Wide awake now, I peered through a crack in the doorway to see if he was really home. I saw my mom rush up to the door, whispering, "Gil? Gilbert, is that you?"

The next thing I saw was my dad's figure, his shoulders slouched and his head bent forward.

My mom seemed frantic. "Gil? Gilbert, are you alright?" She had her hands on his shoulders and tried to look him in the face. She seemed so worried and ushered him to sit down on the couch.

Dad slowly sank into the cushions. My mom turned off the TV while my dad just sat there with his head in his hands. I thought once I saw my dad I would be relieved, but by the way he was acting…it wasn't like my dad. It wasn't like my dad at all, and I was beginning to grow scared.

My mom sat down next to my dad and placed her hands on one shoulder in comfort. "Gilbert…?"

"Liz…" my dad croaked out, his voice sounding hoarse.

"Gil? Gil, what's wrong?" my mom asked worriedly. I could hear her voice begin to crack.

My dad just slowly looked up at my mom, and the next thing I knew, I witnessed something no one had ever seen before, not even my own mother.

My dad was crying.

There were slow, silent tears going down his face and I saw his shoulders begin to shake. My mind couldn't process this at all. My dad had never, ever cried before. He wasn't supposed to cry! He was supposed to be strong and excited and happy all the time! Not…not this.

I was very scared now. What could have possibly happened to bring my own dad to tears? What scary monster or horrible nightmare could make him cry? The image of what could have happened frightened me, and for a second I considered shutting my door and trapping myself under the covers to make sure I heard nothing.

But before I knew it, my dad had started talking.

"The fire, downtown…" he muttered. "It started early this morning…it wouldn't let up for hours…" My mom's eyes were wide as she heard him. He sounded so weak at the moment. She tried speaking to him.

"Are you ok? Did anyone get hurt, or-"

"Oh God…" my dad said, his sobs getting louder now. He clamped one hand over his mouth as if he could stifle the sound of his crying. I was petrified, unable to move away, unable to stop staring at my dad, completely broken before me. I could tell my mom felt the same. She sat there wide-eyed and practically speechless.

"Gilbert," she said, her voice getting lower, "what happened?"

My dad took a few moments to calm his tears down. "There was a building…this mother; she runs up to me, she says, 'You have to go back in there! My daughter, my daughter's in there!'" My dad paused, another sob breaking through. "I ran back into the building…I heard her daughter, I heard the girl screaming…" My dad fisted a hand in his hair as he looked towards the floor. I could see a teardrop makes its way to the tip of his nose and fall.

My dad breathed in deeply and looked towards the ceiling. He said, "She was trapped in a closet…I tried to get her out, I tried so hard but there was too much fire and God, her screams…" He cried into his hands for a few more seconds. He continued in just a whisper, "By the time I got to the door...by the time I knocked it down with my axe…it was too late…"

He broke down completely, sobbing loudly and into my mother's shoulder. She tried to relax him, rubbed his back and held onto him tightly. The horror story my dad had just told made me fearful of going towards him. I didn't know what to do, I didn't know what was going to happen, or how to stop my dad from crying like this…I felt so lost.

These emotions were far too complicated for me to bear. All I knew was that my dad was upset, so I was upset. I was just about to run to the safety of my covers before I heard my dad begin to speak again.

"Liz…Liz, she was only five-years old!" he shouted, breaking away from my mother's shoulder. "She suffocated and burned to death because of me! Because I couldn't save her!" My dad looked broken at that moment. Completely and utterly broken.

My mom took his face into her hands and shook her head, whispering that it wasn't his fault, he did everything he could, he was only human…

But this did nothing to soothe my dad. In a very low voice, that I could barely hear, he whispered, "And I just thought to myself…what if that had been Lovino? Or Feliciano? Liz…I just…I can't think about it…" He fisted both hands into his hair and bent his body so that his face was near his knees. His body was shaking and he was sobbing uncontrollably now. The commotion had startled Feliciano, who was now awake and crying as well.

I was too scared by now. I couldn't witness anymore. I immediately ran to my bed and hid under the covers, shaking and feeling so cold it was unbelievable.

I was scared. I was upset. I was all these different things, all these different emotions…and I couldn't help but wonder…what happens from here?

A/N: Thanks for reading! Critiques are loved!