A/N: Thank you all so much for your kind reviews! I don't have much to say other than the fact that I'm very grateful for them :) Enjoy!

Chapter 4

Phone calls. That's all I looked forward to now.

The year of the divorce passed by in an almost surreal manner. I was so confused about what a divorce was in the first place. Mom and dad weren't together anymore? What did that mean? Did a divorce mean they weren't my parents anymore? Why did mom and dad want a divorce? Who would take care of me and my baby brother?

And later, I found myself asking, "Will dad ever come back home?"

Mom and dad sat me and Feliciano down to explain what was going to happen during the divorce. They tried describing what a divorce was and why they were having one, but that didn't stop me from being so utterly confused. They said they didn't love each other anymore. When did that happen? They were together for so long, and after a few fights decided they didn't love each other anymore?

Well, more than just a few fights. Anyone could've looked into our household and seen just how their marriage was falling apart…but when you're just a kid who is read fairytales about how the prince and the princess live happily ever after, it's difficult to separate the fantasy from reality. In real life, moms and dads didn't have to love each other. I just hate accepting that fact.

At first, and I'd never admit it to anyone…I felt guilty. I did blame others about why this was happening, especially my dad, but when it came down to it, I felt like the divorce was my fault. Maybe if I hadn't wanted such an expensive toy for Christmas, or that sugar cereal for breakfast every day, or to go on that class trip to the zoo, we would've had enough money to pay the bills and my parents would still be happy and together.

My mom had me go to a counselor for a little bit during the divorce. I really hated that place, but it did help me realize one thing: I wasn't to blame for this. It took a while to accept, and I did so begrudgingly. However, once I did, I definitely had a clearer head.

The counselors for my mom were her friends. They were her crutch. She was constantly on the phone, pouring her heart out, complaining, and sometimes just talking about nothing. One of those friends was Roderich, who came to comfort her a few days after the announcement of the divorce. I saw the whole moment in slow motion.

A knock at the door, Roderich coming in the house because the door wasn't even locked, and my mom running into his arms and crying on his shoulder. They stood like that for a while, my mom being held by that stranger, who was rubbing his hand up and down her back in comfort. I hated it so much.

Dad started moving his stuff out of the house about a month after the divorce was declared. I barely saw him anyway. After that big fight my parents had, he had been staying over at his friend's place rather than living at home with us. He would visit often and always tell me and Feliciano how much he loved us. I really wanted to believe him, but at the time, I was too distracted by anger to say "I love you" back.

RIIIING

"I got it, I got it!" I shouted as I ran down the hall to where the phone was.

It had been about a year and a half since the divorce. Everything had been finalized on paper, so the process was now done. We could finally focus on our own lives, and it made things so much better for the divorce to be over and done with.

"Move out of the way, squirt!" I shouted to Feliciano as I pushed him away from the phone. The little guy was really curious and stupid most of the time. I didn't want him putting the phone in his mouth or else we'd probably have to throw it in a fire.

"Hello?"

"Hey kiddo, how was school today?"

My dad's voice was a welcome and familiar sound…not that I needed to hear it often or anything like that! It was just a nice break from my homework, which kept getting harder and harder as the days passed. Besides, my dad was obviously the one who missed me, and who would I be to deny him the happiness of hearing my voice? He was so weird that way.

"I hated it! I got assigned a book report that's due in two weeks. I don't want to read a book!" I shouted, frustrated over the situation.

"Aw man, that sucks! Go watch the movie version of the book and write about that!" my dad suggested. It did seem like a good idea…

But mom would never go for it. "Nah, my teacher told us not to," I grumbled, avoiding telling him that it was actually mom who probably wouldn't let me do that.

"Ah well. So, what book are you reading?"

The conversation went on for about 20 minutes. It was a nice chunk of time, but I knew I had to hang up soon.

"Dad, I have to get started on that book now…" I said regretfully. Honestly, I knew he wouldn't care whether or not I did the book report, and I knew I was likely to fail the assignment anyway, but talking to my dad when my mom was close by was sort of…weird. She would be in another room, distracted by something else. Yet, I couldn't shake the suspicion that she was listening to everything I said while on the phone. She never spoke about me talking to dad and claimed she was perfectly happy with the arrangement, but…her sentences always seemed so forced.

"Oh, ok kiddo. Hey, put Feli on for a sec, I want to say hi," my dad said.

"Alright…" I grumbled, handing the phone over to my baby brother. He took the phone in both hands and held it to his ears.

"Hi!" he shouted cheerfully into the phone. Their conversation didn't last long at all, especially once Feliciano decided to put the receiver into his mouth and suck on it. Yep, we'd definitely have to burn the phone.

I grabbed the device out of his mouth, wiped off most of the saliva onto his shirt (it was his own fault), and put the phone back to my ear. "Happy to hear his slobber?" I asked while trying not to shiver from disgust.

"Feli is one awesome kid!" dad shouted, which only made me angry. "I wonder if I ate phones when I was his age…"

"Dad, that's gross!"

"So was cleaning your diaper." That just made me embarrassed. "Anyway, I'll see you around. Love you, kiddo!"

"Yeah, love you too, dad," I mumbled before hanging up.

Dad came over to visit the next day as a surprise. I played catch with him outside, and then he took me and Feli out for gelato so mom could go food shopping. He had to pay child support ever since we were placed in mom's custody, and she was having trouble paying the bills even more. Her parents promised to keep lending her money until she got a job of her own, and there was a little help from the government, so things weren't as bad as they could have been. Well, financially, things were bad, but it could've been worse is all I'm saying.

Without the stress of the divorce process, things were actually looking up for the better. Nothing was really the same anymore, but I was learning to cope. Mom seemed happier these days for some reason, and dad was always excited when he came to visit or spoke to me on the phone. I could still smell the alcohol on this breath, though.

Mom greeted us at the door once we got home. She was wearing a small smile on her face for us. When she turned to my dad, her face turned utterly neutral. "Thank you for watching them, Gilbert."

My dad smirked. "No prob, Liz," he said.

My mom turned to me and my brother. "Lovi, why don't you get Feliciano ready for bed for mommy?" Aw man, this sucked.

"What? But I don't want to!" I shouted.

"Now, Lovino," my mom said with this creepy smile on her face and an expression that said, "If you don't do what I say, I might just murder Santa Claus". I got kind of scared and ran out of the room with Feliciano in my arms. Before my parents were completely out of earshot, however, I heard my mom whisper, "Gil, I need to speak with you for a second…"

My dad was kind of in a daze while kissing us goodnight. It was as if his mind was on another planet completely. I didn't know what my parents had spoken about, but whatever it was, it actually managed to make my dad quiet.

I heard the front door shut a few minutes later, meaning my dad had left to go back to the station or to his buddies or to wherever he lived nowadays. The familiar waft of sleep was creeping up on me, but before I could drift off completely, my mom tip toed her way into the bedroom.

"Lovino, sweetie? Are you still awake?" she whispered softly. I grumbled and turned around on my bed to face her, kind of frustrated that she wasn't letting me to go sleep.

"I'm awake," I managed to mumble out. I felt my eyelids starting to close, but I fought to keep them up.

My mom knelt down by my bed and started to stroke a hand through my hair. "Lovino, you know how much I love you, right?" she asked. I nodded my head slowly. "And…you know how much I care about your father, right?" I was a little confused by this question.

"No…?" I answered, unsure where she was going with this.

My mom sighed. She said, "Lovino, I want you to know that I love and care for your father very much." This was news to me. I thought the divorce meant they didn't love each other.

"But…you got a divorce," I said, furrowing my eyes.

"Yes, I know sweetie. When I say I love your father, I mean that I do love Gilbert…I'm just not in love with him. Do you understand?" I nodded my head even though I was still puzzled by the entire thing. She loved him, but didn't love him? Was there really a difference between love and in love?

My mom saw me nod and decided to continue. "Well, I just want you to know that, even though I really love your father…" she said, her sentence drifting off. I looked for her to complete her thought. She was looking away from me right now.

Giving another sigh and putting the softest smile on her face, my mom turned to me and said, "I'm dating Roderich."

A/N: Thank you for reading! This chapter was shorter than the others, but I hope you enjoyed nonetheless. Critiques are loved!