Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

When I Go Out the Door

Freshman year of college can be heaven for some as they discover potential and freedom beyond Mom and Dad's expectations. Freshman year of college can be hell for some as they lose everything they know and need to start over from scratch. And freshman year can be a hung-over blur for some, who will either leave school when the 'rents cut off funding or learn to take classes more seriously.

Kim found her first semester of college hell. She never realized how much she needed her friends and family as a support group until she didn't have them. Ron never had enough time to talk. He was usually on his way to practice, or exhausted after practice. Kim hoped he had more time for his classes than he did for her, although, it seemed to her, that he tended to be vague when she asked him about his course work. She hoped he had equally little time for Shego.

Courses were harder than high school. Kim had considered trying out as a cheerleader, but gave up the idea early. Doing well in classes represented a higher priority for her. Her fellow classmates, on average, failed to impress her. There were some brilliant young men and women who made her feel stupid when she compared herself to them – they had been busy learning in high school instead of fighting evil. But there were too many sons and daughters of the rich and privileged who expected everything to be handed to them. They went to an Ivy League university to have the college name on their résumés rather than an education. Monique voiced the same complaint about Harvard when she talked with Kim on the phone.

Kim traveled up to Boston to visit Monique three of her first four weekends in college and Monique took the bus down once – then class work limited them to phone calls. Kim tried to meet new people in classes, the cafeteria, and her dorm - but the mixers and parties she attended reminded her of Shego's description of drunken debaucheries and she had no interest in providing bragging rights to some jerk for having bedded her. The serious students had little time to spare from their own studies – at least that meshed with her own limited free time – and most of the others seemed too immature to bother with. She made many casual acquaintances, but no friends.

Researching a paper for English Lit. kept her from getting home at Thanksgiving. Even though he was a redshirt freshman and ineligible to play Ron stayed with the team at semester break to help them prepare for a bowl game. When Kim went by the Stoppables to talk with Ron's parents and see Hana she found the younger Shego there, in a Go University cheerleader outfit and with too much information on how Ron was doing.

"Everything's wonderful!" Shego bubbled enthusiastically. School was wonderful. Her friends were wonderful. Hego was wonderful. Kim feared the wonderful list would never end, and considered pushing perky Shego into a wall to find out - but feared that might be wonderful too. Kim turned down an invitation to play Candy Land™ with Shego and Hana by saying she needed to go home to family. "Ask your mom if I can come over and help her in the kitchen," Shego called as Kim went out the door.

Kim hoped that Ron would have more time in the Spring semester with football over. He usually had more time to talk. But twice Shego answered the phone and Ron seemed in a hurry to end the call. Kim also realized she called him a lot more often than he called her and decided to not call him until he called her.

She waited three weeks to hear him ask, "Are you okay? I haven't heard from you."

"I'm fine," she lied, "lots of studying."

"I figured. You take that too seriously. I didn't want to disturb you, but Shego said I should call and—"

Kim hung up. She felt angry, and guilty for being angry. She called Monique, who listened until one in the morning, and then told Kim she had a test at nine and had to get a little sleep.

Her hard work brought Kim a summer in China, on the only internship offered to an undergrad. She impressed the professor, and the two grad students she shared an apartment with in Beijing.

One of her two new grad student friends left for a post-Doc at Oxford that fall. The other woman invited Kim to grad student parties, where Kim felt out-of-place.

Monique's bad news had strained relations with Kim, but the redhead finally drove up to Boston to see Monique and her apartment mate, Bonnie.

"Honestly, Kim," Monique had told her, "she's not that bad. Don't be in a rush to judge."

Bonnie seemed happy to see Kim, and called the guy she had a date with and cancelled so she could go out with Monique and Kim. Kim hoped and expected Monique to tell Bonnie she didn't need to tag along – but the black woman just laughed and bumped fists with Bonnie, "Go Middleton!"

"So, how did you two end up as roomies?" Kim finally asked over cheesecake and coffee.

"We had a couple classes last year," Monique shrugged. "You know, compared with some of the divas on this campus Bonnie isn't that bad."

"Come on," the brunette protested, "I was never that bad."

"Yes you were, Girl," Monique assured her. "You were royal pain in the butt in high school." She turned to Kim, "She's grown up."

"And you haven't?" Bonnie demanded. She turned to Kim, "She's dating much better guys since I took over as her social director."

"That's not—"

"Admit it!"

Monique laughed, "Fine. Bonnie has a talent for finding good fits. I think she should start a dating service or something."

"Want me to find someone for you, Possible" Bonnie offered. "I know a lot of nice guys."

"You? Find someone for me? I don't want to think about what you might try and set me up with."

"That's cold, Kim, you aren't giving her a chance."

"It's okay, 'Nique. She and I weren't friends in high school."

"Yeah, but you and I weren't friends either. Now I feel like we got each other's backs."

"I just…" Kim started. "I don't know. I just don't feel like dating right now. I want to decide what I want to do and finish school."

"She's still in mourning for Ron," Monique explained to Bonnie.

"Monique!"

"What happened," Bonnie asked.

"I think they just grew apart. She thinks he stabbed her in the back or—"

"Monique!" Kim protested again.

"That was what it sounded like to me when you wanted to talk for five hours. You made it sound like he dumped you."

"Ouch," Bonnie said softly. She put a hand on Kim's and squeezed it comfortingly. "Sorry. You two were always so good for each other."

"And I think he'd drop everything and come running if she needed help. But he's grown up. He's not just back-up assist any more. He's stepping out and becoming his own person."

"Life was easier in high school," Kim sighed.

"Can't stay in high school, GF. We all grow. We all change."

"Monique's right," Bonnie seconded. "Look at me. Last year wasn't easy, but I think I'm a better person now."

"You are," Monique agreed.

"Hey, you've changed too. Hope, Tara… Do you talk much with Felix?" Bonnie asked Kim.

Kim looked at Bonnie in surprise, "You talk with Felix?"

"Weird, huh? You lose touch with some friends. Sometimes you want to – I remember how crushed I was when Brick left, now I wouldn't want to see him. Some people you didn't like become friends. And some friends stay your friends – but it's still different. You can't stay where you were. We all grow and change."

"I just want things to be the way they were. I was happy then."

"Bonnie's right, Kim. You can't get old happy back. You got to go for new happy."

In her mind Kim accepted there might be some truth in what Bonnie and Monique were telling her. In her heart she felt like she'd never be happy.

Bonnie called Felix that night. What Ron had told Felix differed so much from what Kim had told Bonnie that the two couldn't make any sense out of what they'd heard.

"We should tell them they need to talk with each other," Felix insisted.

Bonnie hesitated. "I don't know. Kim and I didn't like each other in high school. She may not believe me. Or if everything blows up she'll think I was setting her up or something."

"Please, Bonnie?"

"No. They've been friends forever. They should know they need to talk. If they really are fighting I don't want to get between them. I'm staying out. You talk to Ron if you think it's a good idea."

"I've talked with Ron already… I didn't know what Kim thought. She really said that?"

"Yes."

"Okay then, I don't know what's going on either. I won't say anything to Ron."

Kim flew home to Middleton to spend Spring Break with her family. Kim frowned as she parked her rental car in the driveway, another rental car was already there. Could her mom or dad have had an accident and needed a rental while their car was in the body shop?

"Anybody home?" Kim called.

"Just me!" a familiar voice called from upstairs.

Kim closed her eyes and groaned. She didn't say a word, but as she went up the stairs she stomped loudly to express her displeasure.

Shego stood at the guest room door. "Hey, Princess, good to see you… What's wrong?"

Kim still said nothing and went towards her own room. She deliberately put a shoulder into Shego as she walked past.

"Hey, you bumped me!" Shego complained.

"Get over it."

"What the hell is your problem?"

"You are!" Kim growled, and threw a punch.

The fight was exceedingly short. In a few seconds they were on the hall floor, with Shego's arms around Kim, trapping Kim's arms at her side. The redhead struggled to free herself.

"You're out of shape," Shego taunted. "Or that Global Justice training gives me an edge."

"Let go of me!" Kim panted.

"I kind of like you helpless and in my arms," Shego teased.

Kim struggled harder.

"God, I've missed you Pumpkin."

"Leave me alone."

"That's no way to greet an old friend."

"You're not an old friend!"

"Sure I am. You'll hurt my feelings if you deny it."

"I'll hurt more than that when I get loose."

"Oh, now there's a threat designed to make me turn you loose. I think I'll hold on to you a little longer."

Kim kept struggling.

"Oh, just remembered I stole something from you."

Kim stopped struggling for a minute. "You stole something? What? When?"

"I stole a kiss. You gave it to me because I promised to die. But since I'm still alive I got it under false pretenses. I ought to give it back."

"No—" Kim started to protest, but it was too late and Shego hit her in the mouth with her lips.

There was a moment of shock. Kim tried to fight, but Shego held her easily. Kim hated feeling helpless. She hated this woman for being in her home. But Shego's kiss was desperate in its longing. This woman wanted her, needed her. Kim's struggles died as something instinctual took over. Kim had needs too. She needed someone to want her more than anything in the world, to desire her. Kim's frustration and desperation were as overwhelming as Shego's and she opened her lips, inviting Shego's tongue.

Shego feared a trick, but cautiously relaxed her hold on the younger woman. Kim's arms went around Shego holding her with need. Neither had any sense of how many minutes they might have been on the floor kissing.

Downstairs a door slammed. "Kim? Shego? I'm home!" Anne called.

The two women rolled away from each other, both looking shocked and Kim blushing furiously. "Oh, shit!" Shego whispered. Without a word Kim quickly rose from the floor and ran quietly to her room. Her heart pounding wildly in her chest Shego got up more slowly. "I'm… up here."

"Come down. Is Kim here? I saw another car."

Shego looked back at the closed door to Kim's room. "She's in her room."

The two young women were curiously quiet throughout dinner. Jim and Tim teased their sister about how they'd finish college before she got her degree. Anne tried to get Shego to talk about her work, as much as she might be allowed to say. James questioned his daughter about her classes. Neither woman would begin a topic of conversation and answered questions as briefly as possible.

"What is wrong with you two?" Anne demanded. "Kim?"

"Sorry, Mom. Classes. Think I'll head back to college tomorrow."

"No," Shego spoke up. "You can stay. I shouldn't be here. I'll go back to Global Justice tomorrow."

"Is something wrong"

"No." "No."

"At least you've got your lie straight… Did the two of you get into a fight?"

"Yes." "No."

The meal was basically over. "James, take the boys and go get ice cream with the boys at Baskin-Robbins-"

"But there's pie here."

"And there'll be pie here when you get home. Oh, and go to the Baskin-Robbins in Upperton."

"Upperton? There's one right—"

"Upperton," she told him firmly. "I need to find out what's going on with these two."

"Mom!" "Anne!"

Shego tried to stand up as the men left the table, "Sit!" Anne commanded.

Shego sat.

"I'm making a pot of coffee," Anne told them. "Kim, you cut the pie and put three slices on the small plates."

"I'm not hungry," Shego protested.

"Me neither," Kim echoed.

"Serve the pie, Kim. The three of us will be sitting until I get straight answers from you both. You might get hungry before you get truthful."

Kim and Shego sat, staring at the pie in front of them and ignoring each other as Anne poured coffee and placed cups in front of them. Then the brain surgeon sat down and took a forkful of the apple pie. "That's good. Now what happened? One of you admitted there was a fight."

"My fault, Anne. I yelled at Kim for bumping me in the hall."

"It was my fault, Mom. I bumped into her on purpose. Then I tried to hit her. I was in a really lousy mood. I… Did you tell me she was going to be here?"

"I sent an email saying I'd invited her. You don't remember?"

"No."

"Well, I did. Check your email on the computer in the family room – unless you're deleting me or sending me to spam." Anne sighed, "I hoped you'd get over the hostility. Shego doesn't have family. I asked her to spend the week with us. I thought you might like hearing how things are going for her with Global Justice."

"I feel like I've abused your hospitality, Anne. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have fought with Kim."

"She says she started it."

"I beat her pretty fast. I think she's out of shape. I… I took advantage of—"

"Don't say it!" Kim hissed.

"Don't say what?" Anne demanded.

"It was a fight, I started it. I was wrong." Kim turned to Shego, "I'm sorry. I screwed up… I think I need to go back to college."

"No, this is your house. I shouldn't have… I'm sorry, it's my fault. I'll leave."

Anne slammed a fist down on the table, "I'm not letting anyone leave the table until I get a straight answer. Shego, how did you take advantage of Kim?"

"Well, uh… While I was holding her down so she couldn't move I, uh, kissed her."

"You kissed her?"

"Yeah, I… I'm a lesbian. Kim looked so pretty I just… I'll leave now."

Anne rubbed the bridge of her nose. "You don't have to leave. Kim, I will assume you didn't appreciate the kiss."

"She didn't," Shego answered quickly.

"Shego, please let my daughter decide for herself who she's going to kiss. That was inappropriate behavior." She turned to Kim, "It was as bad as starting a fight. That was also inappropriate behavior. The two of you don't have to be friends, but you have to learn to get along. I'm sentencing the two of you to spend tomorrow at the mall together. Have lunch. No fights. No kisses. You keep your fists and lips to yourselves, clear?"

"Yes, Mom." "Yes, Anne."

"Good. Now eat your pie."

Hours later, as the two climbed the stairs Kim whispered, "Thanks for not saying anything."

"What was there to say… You didn't really mean that kiss did you? It struck me like some fit of insanity or something."

"Yeah. Pretty much. Won't happen again, but thanks for not saying anything."

The memory of the kiss kept both women awake for longer than usual, although their responses to it were vastly different. Shego relished the memory. Kim couldn't understand how she could have responded in the way she had, and promised herself to never make the mistake again.