AN: So I wrote this after listening to Ellie Goulding's version of Your Song (.com/watch?v=D9AFMVMl9qE). I just listened to it and ideas started to come. I rushed to Microsoft Word as if my life depended on it and the words started flowing. I must have listened to the song about 20 times whilst I wrote this and you can see I've taken a few of the lyrics and twisted them to suit the fic. Anyway, I hope you like and give the song a listen. It's a beautiful cover and her voice is so soft and loving. I own nothing! Unfortunately...
Cas Has Mail
''You have reached the voicemail of...''
''I don't understand, why, why do you want me to say my name?'' Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
Beep.
''Hey Cas. It's Dean. I just wondered...I thought...Okay fuck it. I need to tell you something. Need to tell you a lot of things actually. There's so much to say, so much I want you to know yet I'm scared to say it. I never wanted something so much before. My feelings, man, they are fucking strong. The strongest ones I've ever felt and...I think I'm just gunna go for it on this one.
You mean so much to me Cas. So much that it scares me sometimes. I don't have that much to give but that little bit I do have I'll give it all to you. I love you. Pure and simple. Fuck, it's the simplest thing I've ever felt yet the hardest thing for me to say. There's no confusion with this, not now anyway. That's the way I feel and I just wanted you to know. Just needed you to know how different how better and brighter my life is now that you're in my life. It's, well, it's...Jesus it's wonderful with you around. I mean, when you're around me I feel so different. I feel...well, I feel stronger and safer. Nothing can hurt me when you're around. I know you'll protect me from anything and I'm sure that means something. I, fuck, I hope it means what I want it to mean...if you get what I mean.
Jesus I'm no good at this Cas so just bare with me.
You're beautiful to me man. Did you know that? No, I guess you didn't. Hell I don't know what you think, or know, or feel about me. Damn angels being so hard to read. I hope you don't mind, well, I just hope you don't mind me saying this. Saying what I feel has never been the easiest thing for me to do. Probably explains why I'm sitting here with half a bottle of Jack planning to down the rest of it in one big go any second now. But I know how I feel and that's what matters I guess.
I wish I could take us away from all this. Everything that wants to kill me, kill you, kill Sam. Shit, there are about a million things out there that want one of our heads on a stick and it kills me that you could be taken away so easily. I need you Cas, need you the way I've never needed a single other person. I don't think I could survive with you gone. I mean, you disappear on one of your little missions and I'm pining like a mother so I don't even want to imagine what I would be like if anything happened to you.
Don't die on me okay? Too many people that mean so much to me have died and I couldn't bare it if that happened to you.
Well, I don't wanna dwell on that. I want this to be a nice voicemail rather than some chick flick bullshit where I cry over you possibly dying. I know it's simple, and I know you barely understand technology so I hope to God you get this. I don't think I'll have the courage to say it all again and there isn't a chance in Hell I could say all this to your face. Though, I guess there's one thing I could say to your face and that's the 'I love you' part. I really do you know. I think I felt it the moment you saved me from Hell. You dragged me from that Godforsaken place and brought me back, brought me back into the light and back to Sammy. You don't know how much that meant to me. You risked your life, your Grace, everything for me and that means so much to me. You brought me back Cas. You held onto me with such strength and brought me back and I need you to know I love you for that as much as I simply love you for being you and I always will. Even if you don't feel the same way about me I'll understand, I'll understand and I'll still love you for it.
I don't know what the whole human – angel relationship thing is, the rules or whatever you want to call them but I'm willing to break every single one if you're with me. If you stand by my side I'll do anything, anything you want or need me to do.
There's a spark Cas. A spark between me and you that ignites every time we're together. It's cliché. God its so cliché but I feel it. It's strong and it's there. I feel it and it goes straight to my heart. You stare at me with those eyes and I can feel it pulsing around us, enveloping just us two and it's the best thing I've ever felt.
Speaking of your eyes, Cas they are the most beautiful blue eyes I've ever seen. They're full of depths and hidden emotions. They're...Fuck I can't believe I'm gunna say this about someone's eyes but they're sweet. They're the second sweetest things I've seen. The first being your smile. Man, when you smile my whole world lights up more than you could ever imagine. I got it bad for you Cas, more than you'll ever know and I hope to God and all the other bastard angels that you feel the same.
I love you Castiel. I'll talk to you soon.''
Castiel swallowed, an audible click in his throat almost made him jump. Standing on this dark road with his heart beating faster than it ever had before, his hand gripping the phone so tightly he could feel it about to crack, he felt his whole chest swell. A sigh escaped his lips followed by the biggest grin that had ever crossed his face. He closed his eyes, forced himself to relax and opened his mind to Dean's location. It came to him instantly, images of a motel in some small town and the dark room Dean was sitting in, holding his own phone so very tightly. Castiel sighed again and prepared himself for the talk with Dean. It was going to be a long one but he had waited so long for this that he actually felt a little nervous.
He took off and flew instantly to Dean's side, his heart and mind already overflowing with everything he wanted to tell Dean but as he looked upon the hunters face he realised that all he needed to say was this.
''I love you too Dean Winchester.''
