Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various and sundry characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. All registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

If You're Anxious for to Shine

"What do you mean, the idea of making love with me scares you?" Kim demanded. "You've been trying to get me into bed for two years."

"Yeah, well, intellectually I want to get into bed with you, but—"

"Then get your brain into my bed, now. I surrender. I've giving myself to you – and you chicken out?"

Shego sighed, her own distress equal to Kim's frustration, "You've got to remember," she whispered, "I'm a virgin."

Kim blinked in disbelief, "You're a virgin too?"

"Wait, you never?"

"Never. But I thought…"

"I've got her memory of a couple guys… Or maybe they're my memories, I'm still not sure how that works. But this body has never… I mean, I told you. I like girls. As Drakken's assistant you were the only person I ever met I wanted to make love to. The only other women I've had crushes on were your mom and my therapist – and she called it transference or something and normal. At Global Justice I've been too much of a freak to… So, anyway, I'm scared. I want my first time with you to be really special and I'm scared that–"

"So you've been propositioning me, flirting with me, and the suggestive language and all that stuff – and you're as clueless as I am?"

"You don't have to put it that way."

"What way?"

"Truthfully. I'm not used to dealing with the truth."

Kim sighed, "Let's go to the bedroom."

"Are you sure? I just—"

"We're going to the bedroom. We're going to kiss and cuddle a little longer, then get a good night's sleep. Tomorrow while I'm doing research at the lab you're going into the bookstore for a copy of, 'The Complete Idiot's Guide for Two Women in Bed' and tomorrow night you'll practice chapter one on me."

"There's a book like that?"

"I don't know. I figured you knew what we'd be doing. There's got to be some kind of a book like that."

"I'd feel kind of weird buying a… Can I steal it?"

"No! Find one and buy it."

"But—"

"Find the book. Buy the book. Practice on me. Or go into a drugstore and shout, 'I want to buy every box of condoms you have' and then walk down the street handing them out to men at random."

"You, uh, sound mad."

"I can't imagine why. So book and me, or condoms?"

"You."

"Good girl… Oh, I want to see the sales receipt."

It felt surprisingly good to both of them to wake up beside the other.

In the afternoon they went to the gym.

"You were a lot better, Pumpkin," Shego congratulated Kim. "You put me down a couple times. You may be back to the level you were before."

"I was not out of shape!"

"Yes you were, and in denial too. But you were really good today."

"You were still better."

"Global Justice training and my powers. But you," Shego leaned over and tapped Kim's nose with her forefinger, "are incredible. You'll get your skills to a whole new level to try and keep up with me."

"Speaking of keeping up with you… Find a book?"

"Yeah. Ready for chapter one?"

"It's still early. I just wanted to make sure. How about roller skating tonight before you practice on," Kim leaned over and kissed Shego, "your willing and eager guinea pig?"

"You'd rather roller skate than—"

"I said 'before', not 'instead of'," Kim reminded her. "Didn't we talk about skating once and we both said we liked it?"

"I don't remember talking about it, but I like skating."

Kim's conscious and sub-conscious minds felt satisfaction at the rink. She had fun with Shego. Shego skated well. But Kim skated a little better, and after months of losing when they sparred Kim enjoyed finding something where she had an edge. "Why the hell are we skating!" her id screamed. "Go home! Sex!"

Some hours later in Shego's arms Kim purred, "Wow. That was just chapter one?"

"Chapter seven," Shego admitted, planting a soft kiss on the top of Kim's head. "They had chapters like, 'Gay, Bi, or Just Curious?', and where to meet girls and STDs before they got to the good stuff. I figure we're safe on the STDs under the circumstances. It was good for you too?"

"Great," Kim assured her.

Shego pulled her close and Kim went to sleep in the green woman's arms.

The next night was even better. Kim still wasn't sure what it meant. Her conscious mind still whispered it was wrong. It wasn't necessarily wrong for two women to love each other. But Kim was normal. Normal women didn't do that. She read the chapter 'Gay, Bi, or Just Curious' to assure herself she was just curious. Her subconscious mind felt thoroughly disgusted with her state of denial. "Look for positions in chapter eight," id suggested.

Monique called, "A new Indian buffet just opened. Can you come up this weekend?"

"Shego's in town."

"Well bring her along – unless she doesn't like goat curry."

"What's wrong, Princess?" Shego asked as they ate dinner that night. "You look like your brain is still in the lab."

"I, uh, accepted an invitation to see Monique and Bonnie on Saturday."

"You don't want me to go?"

"I told 'Nique you were in town. You're invited too – unless you don't like goat curry."

"Huh?"

"New Indian buffet."

"Sounds great… So what's the problem?"

"I'm, uh, not sure what to… I mean, it's… See, you and me—"

"You don't want them to know we're screwing each other."

"Shego!"

"That's what you mean, isn't it?"

"It's not that I'm ashamed of what we're doing—"

"You just don't want to mess up your good girl image."

Kim wasn't sure what was happening. Shego didn't sound angry, it sounded more like teasing. "We're new… I'm new… I'm still trying to sort out—"

"And if there's some cute guy there you'll drop me like a rock?"

"No! I just don't know what to say to Monique and—"

"Tell them the truth," Shego suggested and held the back of her hand up to her forehead in a look of mock anguish, "tell them you're ashamed of me and our tawdry affair."

"No!"

"It's okay, Kim. I've been hurt before. Never as deeply as this. I'll probably drown my sorrows in cheap gin and then step in front of a bus so you'll never have to admit knowing me."

"Why do you play with my head like this?" Kim groaned.

Shego shrugged, "Why should your boobs and ass have all the fun?"

"This isn't fun! I like you! I'm not ashamed of you! But I'm still trying to figure this out and I don't—"

"Don't tell them we're having sex."

"I'll be honest with them. I just don't know how to say it."

"Don't tell them."

"I told you, I'm not ashamed of you, just—"

"And I'm telling you, don't say anything. Seriously."

"You're ashamed of me?"

Shego laughed, "No, Princess, I'd never be ashamed of you. I told you, this deep cover assignment is dangerous. I don't know how long it'll last. I hope my cover doesn't get blown. But if my cover gets blown and anyone knows a connection between us, you're in danger."

"It's really that dangerous?"

"Could be, if my cover gets blown. Just knowing me could put you in danger."

"I'm worried about you. How long will this last?"

"I don't know. It's like that surveillance thing. I may get what Global Justice needs in a few weeks. I hope to God I don't have to stay undercover for years."

"So do I," Kim said, drawing her close, "I'm getting kind of fond of you."

"You're just saying that 'cause I'm cheaper than new batteries for your vibrator."

"Cheaper? You think you're cheaper? Food, entertainment, extra laundry. You're way more expensive than new batteries."

"Okay, maybe batteries are cheaper. But I'm more fun – right?"

"Much more fun," Kim agreed and gave her a kiss.

"So, how am I supposed to behave?"

"Huh?"

"I was flirting with Bonnie last time. Will she think that's normal? Should do it again? Should I not do it? What if she takes me up on an offer? Want a ménage à trois?"

"She will not take you up on the offer. I do not want a ménage à trois with her—"

"You sure? I mean, you didn't think you wanted sex with me, but now you seem to enjoy it."

"I can't take you anywhere, can I? Don't say anything. They'll think you were just joking around last time… You were just joking around last time about asking them for sex, right?"

"Maybe."

"It is a little known fact that Kim Possible is a very selfish young woman. She does not like to share her playthings with others."

"So I'm your plaything now?"

"Do you mind?"

"I guess not. The hours are good and the fringe benefits wonderful. Want me to get, 'Property of Kim Possible' tattooed on my ass?"

"No, you're going undercover remember?"

"Oh, great idea just hit me. Instead of me going undercover – let's do it on the couch."

It was not a great Indian buffet. Shego predicted it would close in six months. Kim and Monique doubted it would last that long. Bonnie guessed it would do very well, "A lot of tourists come to the Square who won't know any better – and a lot of students have no clue what good Indian tastes like."

To Monique's relief Shego engaged in no flirting or suggestive language. "I'm glad she's stopped trying to embarrass Kim."

When Kim and Shego left Bonnie stared in disbelief at the departing car. "Kim and Shego having sex? I can't believe it. Did Monique pick that up?"

As Shego's vacation drew to a close Kim became increasingly concerned, "When will I see you again?"

"I'm not sure. The next couple months I'll be working my way in. I hope they give some vacation time, but I don't know what or when it'll be."

"Can you call?"

"No. Oh, you're off my cell phone."

"I'm worried about you."

Shego sighed, "There's a Captain Constellation website. I post on the forum as Princess Aura. Global Justice will—"

"You watched Captain Constellation?"

"I watched reruns with my… She watched reruns with her dad. She remembers them—"

"You remember them. You are real, and they're real memories – your memories. You're a real live boy now, remember?"

Shego put her arms around Kim, "Would you like me better as a real live boy."

"Boy, girl… I like you just the way you are."

Kim joined the forum that night as RedShirtGuy088.

"Just don't reply directly to me, okay?" Shego made her promise.

"I promise."

"And if I make fun of you 'cause you're a noob, don't take it personally."

Other than missing Shego, Kim found her life improving that fall. Her training had been noticed by the martial arts team, who drafted her. She picked up several new friends in the senior class. She discovered Tony's new boyfriend could cook as well as Ron and loved an appreciative audience. She and Ron suffered two slight failures in communication – but worked through them in a couple days instead of months. She flew out to Go City to watch a football game. She still didn't like Shego, but suspected it was her earlier jealousy still at work. She also suspected the younger Shego was jealous of her and her friendship with Ron, but Kim didn't do anything deliberately to provoke her. Shego asked her to talk to Ron about Team Go, which Kim refused to do. "Let him decide what he wants to do for himself."

As Kim looked at the Captain Constellation forum she always wondered if there was some sort of coded message hidden in the posts by Princess Aura, or if the simple fact there was a post was intended to let Global Justice know Shego was safe. Kim looked for hidden messages in the posts, and thought she caught a few meant for her.