'Ey-yo.
This story has been up on my y!gal for a while and in the previous chapter over there, I had talked about doing the therapy sessions in a different format because I think there's a lot to be said about reading between the lines and interpreting things for yourself butttt I'm not sure how well it was received. Nonetheless, it is what it is. Enjoy the dialogue, because I'm fairly sure that by the time chapter four is out it will be in discriptive form again.
Onward to post chapter three. Comments please me. 3
Naruto sat on his floor beside his bed on top of a cluttered mess as he dug underneath it with nerve-wracked hands. "The fuck." He muttered and snatched his hand back violently when it touched something slimy. A little hesitantly, he lifted the bed skirt and peered underneath before snorting. It was an old banana peel.
He left it. The rotten peel wasn't what he was looking for and he was worried that he would forget…
Finally, his questing fingers curled around a slender cylinder. It wasn't a pen, but it'd have to do. He was lucky to even have found the permanent marker in the disarray of his room.
Naruto crawled over to his printer and tugged one of the blank pages free from the cradle. In large print, so it covered the entire page, he wrote, 'The bird is BLUE.'
Sitting back on his heels, eyes admiring the page as if it was something precious he'd lost and now found, he smiled. He had been trying so damn hard to remember the color of that bird when he awoke from his nightmares and the stupid thing had plagued him for nearly a week.
Now, on this glorious Thursday morning, he finally knew that it's lustrous feathers were blue. Hell, he didn't know what that meant or why the color of the bird was important to his therapist - he just felt a weight lift off his shoulders because that damn bird in that cage was blue and he knew it.
Despite just waking up, he was excited and antsy, too hyped up from something he deemed a rather grand personal victory. He hopped up and rubbed some of the sleep from his eyes and tousled his bed-mussed hair before pulling on his black swim trunks.
Brushing his teeth quickly, he stuffed his burnt orange backpack for class. He darted out the front door of his small apartment with a grin and jogged towards the beach, the paper folded and clutched tight in his hand.
He was going to drop by Kakashi's office before class and tell him that his nightmare bird is gloriously blue. The blond chuckled to himself, ridiculously pleased with the minute detail. Today was a going to be a good day.
"Why the hell do we have to do this at the asscrack of dawn!" Suigetsu shouted across the mostly vacant stretch of sand to no one in particular. Sluggishly, he stapled a flier crookedly upon an unsuspecting palm tree.
Sasuke had personally went and roused each member of Taka this morning by dropping a thick stack of glossy fliers on their beds and affectionately greeting, "Get your ass up."
"Because the early bird gets the worm." Juugo offered the clichéd statement to Suigetsu with a smirk as he stapled a page to the post of a fence.
"No, I'll tell you why! It's because Sasuke's a diiiiiiiick!" Suigetsu shouted, head tossed back, bellowing to the heavens. He nearly doubled over in laughter when Sasuke turned to simply glare at the man in the midst of his declaration.
The raven glared death at him and held up his staple gun as if to shoot the man, though his lip twitched as if wanting to smile. Suigetsu, still laughing, held up a hand and clutched at his stomach, completely unfazed. Sasuke shook his head and turned back to the bulletin board to resume posting wearing the smallest of smirks.
Neither Suigetsu or Sasuke had apologized to each other and it was likely to remain that way. When the white haired man had showed up to rehearsal the next day, bitching about how it was too hot in the studio, as he always did, that had been enough for Sasuke.
"Sui, shut your face. People are still sleeping." Karin shook her head at him from up by the shacks. "I'd still be sleeping if it wasn't for Sasuke!" He retorted, slamming another flier onto the same palm, stapling it just as askew as the first.
"Are you retarded! Leave that unfortunate tree alone." She shouted with an accusing finger pointed in his direction.
Sasuke wandered down the shore, away from the racket two were stirring up, and found the next bulletin board. The morning wind whipped through his dark locks and just as he was about to staple a flier into the board, he felt something wrap around his calf.
Reaching down to pick up the clingy piece of paper, his brow furrowed. Footsteps drew his attention from the sloppily scrawled statement as a blond man clad in only black trunks slowed in front of him.
"Thanks." He huffed, out of breath, "Wind snatched it right outta my hand, man."
Sasuke rose his slender brows and held up the paper. "'The bird is blue?'"
Naruto waved dismissively. "Don't worry about it." He held out his hand for the paper.
The raven debated briefly, eyes fearlessly studying the blond's face before reeling the paper in. "You can have your kindergarten homework back once you've answered my questions." He informed stoically.
"Dude…" Naruto was incredulous, but he didn't want to start anything, he just wanted that paper. It was a physical token of his remembrance. "Don't be an asshole. I'm having a good morning." He held out his hand again, locking eyes with the dark haired man.
"You heard me."
"…Okay, bastard. Get on with it." Naruto sighed and grasped the straps of his backpack, shifting his weight impatiently. He just wanted to get to the office to let Kakashi know the good news.
Sasuke smirked in triumph and cocked his head, laying Naruto's precious paper on top of his mound of fliers he held against his chest. "Where do you work?"
"Uh, I work as a lifeguard." Naruto furrowed his brow.
"Have friends?"
The blond shook his head with a frown. "What the shit? Dude, this is a waste of time. Give me my damn paper back."
He made a grab for the paper but Sasuke swiftly sidestepped him. "Just answer the question, moron. Do you have friends or are you a total loser?"
Agitated that a complete stranger was holding something of his for irrelevant, verbal ransom just to piss him off, Naruto growled and made another grab but relented and answered the question. "Yes, of course I have friends. I'm not some grade-A asshole like you."
"Good." Sasuke sidestepped him yet again and grinned at the conviction in the other man's eyes. "Come to our show on Saturday, bring your friends and the paper is yours."
Naruto ran his fingers through his hair and pulled his cell out of his pocket, checking the amount of time he had to waste away making dates with this psychotic bastard before class. If he got the paper back right now, he could just make it to Kakashi's and still get to class on time. He glanced back up at Sasuke, a grin beckoning his lips to stretch at the sheer ludicracy of the situation. "You're kinda a lunatic, ya know that?"
Sasuke smirked. "Better than being an idiot."
"...Alright, fine. Now give me the paper." Naruto held his hand out and locked his gaze with Sasuke's.
The raven held his eyes for a moment before handing him the paper alongside a flier. "I better see you there, bird boy." He had turned his attention to the bulletin board before Naruto even glanced at the glossy ad for their show.
"Whatever, douche bag. Have a shitty morning." Naruto saluted and jogged away, determined to make it to Kakashi's.
Sasuke shot the retreating man a single glance before stapling the flier to the board impassively.
Naruto's elation had deflated considerably as the day went on and he heaved a sigh as he made his way back to his apartment.
After his brush with that punk-ass loon - the dark haired singer of some local band - all he wanted was to celebrate the recollection of his dream bird's color with Kakashi, but of course the man wasn't there as he should have been.
Iruka apologized to Naruto a thousand times over for the supposed professional's habitual lateness and asked if Naruto would like to leave a message but the blond smiled and shook his head. After all, his appointment was scheduled for tomorrow. He could wait.
Class hadn't gone as well as he'd hoped and Sakura had snubbed him once again when he asked her to go to the movies with him but all of this was okay, because he was on his way to see his godfather who had just underwent surgery to remove the last of his cancer.
Naruto had a bounce in his step as he walked through the immaculate hospital hallways, offering up grins and waves at any whose ailing eyes fell upon him. He threw the door wide to room 326, not incredibly mindful of the room's other occupant in recovery. Thankfully, Jiraiya had the room to himself.
Naruto's shining cerulean eyes landed on the white haired old man and a wide grin spread across his scarred cheeks. "'Ey, ya old man! How are things?"
As Naruto plopped into the uncomfortable chair beside the hospital bed, Jiraiya gave a raspy chuckle. "I'm fine, kiddo. Recovery is always the best part, ya know. Those nurses…" He wiggled his eyebrows and whistled. Naruto laughed and ran his fingers through his chaotic tresses, eyes glinting with genuine mirth.
"That's good, that's good. I um… I brought you something." He bent down and unzipped his backpack to pull out a black plastic bag that was buried under everything else. He handed the bag to Jiraiya who tousled Naruto's hair and smiled before even opening the gift.
Jiraiya pulled a DVD case out of the bag and despite his midsection being tightly wrapped and stitched shut just hours beforehand, the man shot up in his bed and held the movie tight in his burly clutches. Wires were pulled from him and machines began beeping frantically. Naruto furrowed his brow and chuckled rather nervously as he tried to attach the monitors back onto his godfather.
"The Playboy 50th Anniversary two-disc collector's edition!" Jiraiya's eyes shone and he grinned wildly, seemingly ignoring his godson fluttering about and attempting to get him to lay back down.
"Seriously, man, calm down! You just had surgery! If I would have known you'd freak out this much I wouldn't have given you it." Naruto reached across Jiraiya's chest to plant a cord haphazardly upon his arm. "Six-hundred beautiful women!" Jiraiya cried in bliss, again ignoring Naruto.
"Never an easy one, are you?" Jiraiya's surgeon sauntered in the room with his clipboard tucked under one arm and deftly calmed the machines by replacing all of their cords correctly. "Ah, Itachi! Look what my wonderful godson gave to me as a gift for living!" Jiraiya presented the DVD set to Itachi as if it were a gold bar.
"It's Dr. Uchiha." The long haired raven replied, setting down his clipboard and pulling a flashlight from his shirt pocket. He gently pushed away the box set and attempted to examine Jiraiya's eyes and proceed with the habitual check-up routine for recovery patients but Jiraiya was having none of it. He shoved the set back in front of Itachi's line of vision. "Six-hundred women, Itachi! This boy loves me."
"He certainly knows you well. Now I'm a very busy man, Jiraiya, so if you could please just let me finish…"
"Of course, of course. The sooner you finish, the sooner I can appreciate the elegant beauty of the female kind." Jiraiya finally encouraged and allowed Itachi to examine him.
"So, doc… how did things go?" Naruto questioned, settling into his chair and pulling out a package of Twizzlers from a smaller compartment on his backpack to munch on.
"Fairly well. The tumor has been removed completely but, unfortunately, so has roughly fifty percent of his liver." Itachi's silken voice drawled as he gently pressed on Jiraiya's stomach in a few select places.
"And… what does that mean?" Naruto probed, the worry becoming audible in his tone. "
"Nothing so serious." The tall Uchiha straightened and turned to Naruto, offering a small, kind smile at his fretting. "Mostly, it means a longer stay in the hospital so we can monitor the organ as it grows back and ensure that he's eating properly. I'll have a nurse sit down with you and go over things in depth sometime next week as I have a feeling he'll need someone to make sure he's taking care of himself properly."
"Alright, thanks doc." Naruto grinned and Itachi nodded, grabbed his clipboard, and shut the door behind him briskly.
"Put it in for me, Naruto." Jiraiya handed the DVD to his godson with a smile. Naruto removed the disc and looked at it with uncertainty. "Is this even allowed here, ya pervy old man?"
"Quit worryin' about the rules, boy, and put the damn disc in!"
Naruto rolled his eyes and slid the disc in the television that was propped too high in the corner of the room, muttering under his breath. "…Not worried about the rules, worried about your senile old ass…"
The blond hit 'play' and turned to sling his pack over his shoulder. "I have to go, lots of homework to do and I have a few odd jobs tomorrow early before work. Call me if you need anything. And enjoy your porn!" He waved and laughed when Jiraiya made a fist at him even though his eyes were glued to the television. Naruto shut the door behind him quietly and made his way home just as dusk was falling.
"How many times must we go over this, Sasuke? You're twenty and you don't even have a place of your own!"
Sasuke scoffed. "Are you fucking kidding me?"
"Watch your mouth. Your brother had his own apartment when he was eighteen. Is every request we ask of you just too much?" Fugaku inquired harshly from his end of the mahogany table.
The young Uchiha simply glared at his father, his arms folded neatly over his chest as he slouched slightly in his chair. He had heard every speech his parents could think to give him at least twice his past week and not a single word had shaken his resolve.
An awkward silence filled the dining room as Fugaku and Sasuke glared at each other over their dinner plates.
Mikoto cleared her throat and daintily patted her mouth with a napkin. "Sasuke, all your father is trying to say is that… maybe you could make your band into more of a hobby instead of your full focus. It would be far more productive and rewarding in the end."
Sasuke's eyes flashed over to his mother's and his scowl deepened. Abruptly, he stood from the table and slammed his fist down, plates shaking with the violent impact. "Neither of you will ever understand me. I'm not Itachi so stop trying to force me into a mold of him, damn it. My dream is that band. And I'll make it with or without either of your help." He turned and stormed down the hallway of the house that was far too large for a family of three.
Before he reached the stairwell he heard his mother call after him, "We just want what's best for you!"
"Like hell you do." Sasuke muttered under his breath and mounted the stairs, two at a time, before locking himself in his room.
He was far beyond frustrated. His parents always regarded him as Itachi's shadow - like he should be following in his elder brother's exact footsteps for all eternity. Itachi was anything and everything that Fugaku and Mikoto could have hoped for in a son. And Sasuke… he was anything and everything that reeked of failure.
The raven laid down with a heavy sigh on his plush bed and folded his hands behind his head. He would make damn sure that he got signed before he was cut off from his parents funds.
"I know the color of the bird, Kakashi! It's blue!"
"Hm, blue? What shade of blue?"
"Like… a light kind of blue. Maybe sort of like a Blue Jay?"
"I see… You certainly seem happy about it, Naruto, carting around the paper like you are."
"Yeah. … Yeah, I'm pretty happy about it, man."
"So, do you think that to you, the paper is like a physical token of the memory?"
"What memory? Of the bird?"
"Your nightmare. I believe it's part of a memory from your childhood."
"Really!"
"Yes, but I wouldn't be so excited. You do say it's a nightmare, after all."
"Yeah…"
"But you have remembered something of it. That is a small step of success."
"Mmm."
"… Are you going to let me hypnotize you anytime soon?"
"… No."
"You still haven't progressed past that wall. You will never remember, Naruto, if you're too scared to."
"Hypnotism sounds so stupid! It probably won't even work and I'll feel like an idiot for even trying it. That's all, dude."
"If you say so."
"You don't believe me."
"No, I don't."
"Fine… but really."
"Alright."
"… My godfather made it out of surgery. They removed all the cancer."
"That is really wonderful news. I'm glad to hear he's doing well. What about your friends?"
"My friends… they're fine. You know, this random ass dude caught this paper when the wind took it out of my hands and he bribed me into coming to some concert of his this weekend with all my friends just to get the paper back. He's seriously a fucking lunatic."
"Are you going to go?"
"Wait, why are you laughing?"
"Ah, nevermind it. So are you?"
"I told him I would… and I never go back on my word, so I guess so. But if they suck, I'm out."
"I see. Well, our time for today is already up, Naruto."
"Really? … And that's it, no lame homework assignment from you to like, analyze every dream I have or anything?"
"Nope."
"… Alright! See ya, Kakashi."
"Enjoy your concert."
"Ah, Sasuke. The appointment I look forward to most each Friday."
"Hysterical."
"As moody as ever, I see."
"Didn't you hear me when I said that just because my brother is a friend -"
"Yeah, yeah. Treat you like any other client. And so, how is Taka?"
"Good. We've got a concert tomorrow night right in the middle of the square. Prime time, prime spot."
"Hm. And how are things in the way of finding someone to represent you to an agency?"
"… I'm going to get signed."
"Yes, I know."
"There's a good chance we'll be overhead at this concert tomorrow."
"Are you banking all your luck on this one opportunity?"
"I'm not stupid, Kakashi."
"I never said that you were, Sasuke."
"You're obviously implying it."
"And your parents?"
"I don't want to fucking talk about them. They're not even worth my time."
"This is a therapy session, you pay to come here and discuss things with me. Now tell me about what's been happening with them."
"I don't pay you. Itachi pays you."
"Alright, alright. Less for me to write down. … How are you and Itachi, then?"
"Fine."
"…O-kay then. Sasuke, why do you come here?"
"How is this relevant."
"The only things you truly ever talk about with me are your band and, occasionally, when you really have the stick shoved up there, your brother. I rarely ever hear a word of what I believe are your true problems and if it weren't for Itachi, I wouldn't ever know what's going on between your parents and yourself."
"If I wanted to talk about them, I would."
"…You know they love you."
"You don't know shit."
"You're obviously going to believe what you want regardless of what I say. … How about we end the session here today, unless you're going to open up about something else?"
"Fuck you, Kakashi."
"Have a good one."
"Itachi. Are you home?" Sasuke walked briskly down the palm lined sidewalk with his cell to his ear and a scowl plastered upon his lips. The sun was large and orange in its setting on the horizon, casting a pink hue over everything.
"Indeed I am. What do you need, Sasuke?"
"I'm coming over." Sasuke's deep, silken voice was final and Itachi paused momentarily on the other end of the line.
"Did something happen?"
"No. I just don't want to be at home right now."
"… Of course. I'll leave the door unlocked." With that, Itachi hung up, as did Sasuke. Neither Uchiha brother was ever much for words.
Sasuke arrived at Itachi's luxurious apartment in less than fifteen minutes and, by then, had calmed down enough not the slam the front door when he closed it.
Sasuke found his elder brother in the kitchen putting one of his various and immaculate skills to use: cooking. The young raven took a seat at the bar without a word and began watching his brother. Itachi glanced up from slicing a pepper only for a moment before resuming his task.
"You're not going to ask me why I don't want to be at home?" Sasuke demanded rather suddenly when the constant, repetitive sound of the chopping was beginning to grate upon his nerves.
"No. I figured if you wanted to talk about it, you would." Itachi answered as he went over to the steaming pot on the stove and dumped the colorful, diced pepper in.
Inwardly, Sasuke was praising God that Itachi was not going to push him to do something that he didn't want to do, much like every other person in his life. He had quite enough of that lately and was thankful that his brother understood him.
The two ravens ate their dinner in a comfortable silence, Sasuke finally simmering down from the day. The meal was, of course, ridiculously delicious and he ate slowly, allowing his mind to wander and linger over anything his thoughts might stumble upon.
After dinner, Sasuke stood beside Itachi over the kitchen sink, drying the dishes that his brother washed, he felt something inexplicably bubbling up within him. His throat felt sealed shut by a boulder and his eyes were burning.
Without a word to his brother, he gently placed the dish on the counter and headed for the bathroom, incredibly ashamed and frustrated with himself for suddenly feeling like tears might spill from his onyx eyes for no reason he could name.
He locked the door behind him and gripped the sink hard enough to turn his knuckles white. His reflection stared back at him and he looked surprisingly impassive, even to himself, as he tried to quell the storm raging within.
However, trying was not a enough.
The tears spilled down his porcelain cheeks of their own accord as a single sob tore itself from his throat and he heaved with the force of it.
And he hated himself.
He hated himself for being weak. For not being able to prevent himself from falling to pieces. For harboring fear that he wouldn't get signed and for feeling like maybe he really couldn't make it on his own. That his dream was unobtainable no matter how hard he pushed to achieve it. Because nobody believed in him.
'No more.' He pleaded with himself, shaking his head harshly and squeezing his eyes shut against the flow of the tears, the sob leaving him gasping for air. He was utterly sick with himself.
He turned away from the mirror and wiped his face on the plush, burgundy towel furiously. He threw the door to the bathroom open and was going to make a b-line straight for the door, but Itachi was standing directly in front of him, just inches away from the door's threshold.
If he was surprised that Sasuke had caught him, it did not show on his face. Sasuke went on the defensive immediately, embarrassed to know that his elder brother, the perfect one he was constantly compared to, had caught him crying. He tilted his head down and a dark, deep scowl settled upon his lips.
"Move." He demanded of Itachi as he tried to push past but Itachi caught Sasuke by the shoulder and forced him to remain in place.
"Stay. You can sleep in the guest room tonight." Itachi's voice held no detectable emotion, but it was quiet.
Sasuke scoffed and tried to rip his brother's hand from his shoulder. "Fuck no. I don't want your charity. "
"It's not charity, Sasuke. I would like you to stay here with me. I would enjoy the company of my little brother."
"Why, so you can revel in how much better you are than me? I don't think so." The young raven finally succeeded in pushing past Itachi and stormed towards the front door.
"Where is this coming from? I am not better than you, Sasuke. Please, stay." Itachi followed after him, his brow furrowed in concern.
Sasuke's mind was already made up. He couldn't stay even if he wanted to. His brother had caught him crying like a helpless infant, locked away in his bathroom. His pride would never allow him to stay despite the hell he knew he would be returning to.
He swung the apartment door wide and Itachi caught it, preventing Sasuke from slamming it shut. The younger brother took a moment to glare before he turned and sealed the elevator doors.
Itachi stood there in silence, his eyes fixated upon the spotless steel doors. Finally, he sighed and shut the door, pulling his phone from his jeans.
'I am leaving the door unlocked.' He texted his little brother before pushing his dark bangs from his face.