Thanks to Sanguiyn my wonderful beta, who not only saves me from grammatical errors, but also dresses as a super hero when she does it.

Disclaimer:

Loosely based on '10 Things I hate about you', which was based on Shakespeare's 'Taming of the Shrew'.

You all know that I don't own the Harry Potter characters (JKR does). But if I did, something like this would happen to them...

Draco Malfoy loved everyday at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. His appearance was always sure to immediately generate downright ogling from his peers. Unfortunately for Draco, the one boy he wanted most to notice him paid him no attention at all.

Harry Potter's appearance also generated some downright ogling from the Hogwarts student body. He couldn't walk across Gryffindor common room without having his classmates stare blatantly at his scar. It was no secret that he despised this attention. He walked the castle corridors sandwiched in between Ron and Hermione, his head held down, never looking at his admirers in the eye.

In fact, Harry rarely paid anyone much attention. Many students had tried, but to no avail. So surely, the person to gain his attention would be the envy of the entire school. Draco needed attention to feel good about himself and he was determined to get it.

Harry was no easy conquest. It wasn't that he had given up on love, not at all. Harry's life was a difficult, bumpy journey, and he knew that it would be much better travelled with a companion by his side.

He was used to waiting. As a child, he had waited in his cupboard under the stairs, for someone to find him and take him away from the Dursleys. As a first year at Hogwarts, he had nervously looked at the black inside of the Sorting Hat, waiting to be Sorted into a house, as it deliberated between Slytherin and Gryffindor. And now, as a young man, he was waiting for someone to catch his eye.

He was also used to heartbreak. When he'd watched Sirius sink backwards through the ragged veil hanging from the arch in the Department of Mysteries, somehow he'd known there would be much more of it in store for him. But what he didn't know was that his further, pending heartbreak would cause the heartbreak of others.

"So how should I ask Potter out?"

"Well," said Blaise, twirling a quill in his hand victoriously after he had finished scribbling something down on a piece of parchment, "give this to Seamus tomorrow night at dinner."

"What?" Draco exclaimed, ripping the parchment from Blaise's outstretched hand. "I'm the mastermind in this plan, not your measly messenger-boy!"

"You're i half /i the mastermind. Besides, when you go, it will give you a chance to flirt with Potter."

"Fine. What did you write in here anyway?"

"It's a note telling Seamus to bring Potter to the Astronomy Tower at eight o'clock tomorrow night."

"What if Potter doesn't agree to come? He didn't look too happy about having to meet us in the library tonight."

"I also wrote that Seamus shouldn't tell him that he is meeting up with us. I told him to make up an excuse."

"Fair enough, Potter's so stupid he'll believe anything that Finnigan tells him."

"And that's another thing. You might actually want to start calling him Harry from now on."

"…Harry?"

"You are going to be going out with him, after all."

"Harry."

"Exactly, and say it softly too. It will be the tone of your voice that will help charm him, not just the words that you say."

"Got it, that's step one done," Draco said, slipping the note into the pocket of his trousers. "And once that's done, you can start dating Finnigan."

"Step two!" Blaise cheered, writing on another piece of parchment; the one that they had been devising the plan on. "My favourite step!"

"And then it's onto step three. i My /i favourite step."

"Which is?"

"Fuck the Boy Who Lived."

"You want to shag Potter?!"

"I do indeed. It's my reward for helping you out."

"Getting him in bed is impossible for anyone, even for you."

"Exactly. That's why I want to do it. Laying claim on Harry Potter is going to be pretty impressive."

"You do realise he's not just going to jump into bed with you, don't you? You're going to have to romance him first."

"Romance him?"

"Yeah, you know, sit at the Gryffindor table with him during meals--"

"I am not sitting with those insufferable--"

"Send him love notes--"

"Love notes! I'm not going to behave like some kind of moronic sap--"

"Snuggle with him--"

"Snuggle?"

"Yes, snuggle. I don't suppose fucking in a toilet stall prepares you for that kind of thing."

"Clearly not."

"Don't worry, I'll help. Scoot back against the head board, and spread your legs."

Draco did as he was told, glaring at Blaise uncertainly.

Blaise padded across the bed to Draco and leaned his back against his chest, facing the same direction as Draco was. "Now, wrap your arms around my waist."

"What? Blaise, I'm not--" Draco was cut off when Blaise reached around him to grab Draco's arms and placed them around his waist. Draco sighed impatiently, waiting for Blaise's next instruction. "Now what do we do?"

"Nothing. We stay like this."

"Stay like this?! For how long?"

"An undetermined amount of time."

"What's the point in that?"

"There is no point. This is just what people do in relationships."

"And this is why I avoid relationships. Can you get off me now?"

"Don't get your knickers in a twist," Blaise laughed as Draco ripped his hands off Blaise's waist and pushed him away forcefully muttering something that sounded like 'what a waste of time'. "So, you sleep with Harry. Then what?"

"Step four. We break the Gryffindor Pact so that I can break up with P-Harry and you can continue dating Finnigan."

"That's impossible. As long as their Gryffindor clique is paired up, there will be a pact."

"…So if Thomas, Weasley or Longbottom were single again, the pact wouldn't apply?"

"I guess not."

"Looks like I'm going to be causing more than one break up then," Draco smiled evilly, writing the fourth and final step onto the piece of parchment containing the plan, before placing it in the drawer of his bedside cabinet for safe keeping.